A Long Way Home

by Wendy Vella

  “He has damaging footage of me doing things, Mom. If it gets out, I could be charged, and my career would be well and truly ruined. Jay drugged me, and then set it up so that it looks like I’m using heroin.”

  The only indication her mother was angry was the tight line of her mouth.

  “He needs to pay for this, Hope. You need to be strong enough to make him pay.”

  Could she? Was she strong enough to take him to court and have that footage shown? It was damning; there was no doubt about that. But she did have a good reputation.

  “I was scared, Mom, and I ran. I see now that maybe I should have done something, but I was so ashamed of what he had, and yes, hurt that everyone was so ready to believe Jay over me.”

  “Did you speak to everyone?” Her mother looked at her.

  Hope shook her head. She hadn’t. After Casey had dismissed her, and told her exactly what she thought of Hope in a voice loud enough to carry all the way to the staff at their desks, she wanted to simply run and hide.

  “It’s my word against Jay’s.”

  “Your reputation was immaculate until that moment, Hope. You have no idea if the same could be said for this Jay.”

  That was certainly true, Hope realized. She’d not given Jay’s reputation any thought.

  “Think about this seriously, Hope, and if you decide to fight, we’ll make sure it’s done right.”

  “Thank you, it means a lot that you believe in me.”

  “Why did you think I wouldn’t? I’ve never known you to lie, and know that your work is your life. You’re my daughter. I would not doubt you in something like this.”

  Hope swallowed down the tears.

  “It was Newman and Ethan who saw Jay first. They told him we were doing the shoot with John Finch, before I could stop them.”

  Her mother laughed. It was dry and a bit brittle, but a laugh nonetheless.

  She and Ryan had often wondered about the number their father, who was also a lawyer, had done on her. Had she once been young and spontaneous? Had she laughed readily, and—her mind couldn’t picture it, and she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to—flirted?

  “I think you should do it, and show this Jay you’re not going to be pushed around. I also think you’ve got a case against him.”

  “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

  “I’ll represent you.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Can I ask you a question about my father now?”

  Her hand tightened around the spatula. She lowered it to the benchtop and turned to face Hope again.

  “When I told you that he’d been in touch and wanted contact with you again, you said it was too late. Why now?”

  “Because I want to know if you ever loved him, and if he was a good or bad man. I don’t remember him, you see, and I think I should.”

  She turned back to the stove, and Hope wondered if she would speak again.

  “He was a good man, just the wrong man for me. We had a good life for a few years, and then he grew restless here. Howling was always the place I wanted to be, but not him. He wanted the big city life. It drove us apart eventually.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Now, you get your stuff, and I’ll drive you to Macy’s shop.”

  The day was warm, and the sun shone bright. It would be a great day to take photos, and Hope felt a twinge of excitement. She was ready to do this again. Okay, maybe not this. Fashion shoots had never been on her list of highs, but working at what she loved would be fun.

  “Thanks, I’ll catch you later then, Mom?”

  Her mother then did something rare, and patted her cheek.

  “I’m proud of you.”

  “Really? Thanks.”

  She stood on the pavement and watched her mother drive off, slow enough that if Hope wanted to, she could run after her and catch her at the corner.

  “Hey there, Hope.” Macy appeared in a soft, floaty dress that made her look pretty. “You okay? You look a bit shocked.”

  Hope shook her head. “All good, thanks. Mom just said something out of character.”

  Macy laughed. “Hate when they do that. My mom will do that occasionally, and I’m like, who are you and where’s my acid-tongued mom.”

  “Ha, yes. Exactly that.”

  “Okay, so let’s get this stuff inside, and we’ll take it through the back. Brad’s just arrived with the pickup.”

  “Thanks.”

  “We’re heading to the redwoods by Jake’s first, if that’s okay with you?”

  “Sure and, if it’s okay with you, I’ve asked Mikey Tucker to come along. He’s been learning from me, and after his grandmother passing, I think it will be good to keep him busy.”

  The woman smiled, flashing white teeth.

  “He’s already here, and inside eating cookies.”

  “Sorry, I should have—”

  “Hope, please. You don’t need to apologize, that’s how we do things here. He’s part of our community, just as you are.”

  Hope followed Macy inside. Mikey was indeed eating, lounging on a chair, his mouth full of food.

  “You want to help load this stuff, Mikey?”

  The boy wiped his mouth and came to help. She saw the dark shadows under his eyes that told her he’d had trouble sleeping.

  “You okay?”

  He nodded, but didn’t speak, so she didn’t press him further.

  “I have the clothes loaded, honey.”

  Brad Gelderman walked in from out back as Hope headed that way. The man exuded confidence. Big, like his brother, this Gelderman had a tougher edge. He is like a warrior, Hope thought. He’d look good through her lens.

  “How you doing, Hope?”

  “Good, thank you.”

  “Heard what you did to that idiot Jay. Nice work. I especially liked the scum-sucking limp dick comment.”

  Hope blushed. “It seemed to fit the moment.”

  “And the knee thing is a very effective way to drop a man, Hope. Good going there too.”

  She snorted.

  “If he hassles you, just call one of us, we’ll work him over for you.”

  He smiled in that nice way he had, but she thought that maybe like his friends, he would teach Jay a lesson or two.

  Soon they were loaded up, and she and Mikey were on the back. It was exhilarating having the wind in your hair as the beautiful scenery flew by.

  “I reckon one day I’d want to leave like you did, Hope. Now Nana’s gone, I’ve been thinking of going to Columbia to study.”

  “What are you thinking of studying?”

  “I want to be a doctor.”

  “I heard Columbia’s one of the top universities for medicine.”

  He nodded, his face serious. “Me and Nana looked it up, and she wanted me to go there.”

  “Here’s the thing, Mikey. You leave this place, but you don’t… not really, if that makes sense. I thought I’d go and forget about it. Small town, who needed that, right? I wanted the big city, and bright lights. But this place….” Hope looked around her. Took in the lake of clear blue water, shimmering like glass, and the trees. “You don’t leave, not really. It’s in your blood.”

  “I love this place. I didn’t always, but I do now.”

  “What do you like about living here?”

  “The people,” he said instantly. “I can walk out my door and see someone, and usually it’s someone who has my back.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Before Nana died, she was old and unable to leave the house for ages. I had to care for her, because Connor’s okay, I guess, but he spends most of his time sucking face with his girl. Mom’s always traveling, and the others don’t live in Howling. I would be lonely here if I didn’t know everyone, and they know me. These people care about me. I only have to ask and they’d help if I needed it. Plus, I got Branna, Jake, and Rose, and the others.”

  Wise words for a boy of fourteen , she thought. Why had Hope never seen Howling that way
? Why had she hated living here? Not exactly hated, but resented. Coming back this time, it was different, she realized. She understood now. Understood the magic of this place.

  “If you need help with anything, I’m here too, okay?”

  “Thanks,” he said in a gruff voice.

  And that was another thing. The few times Hope had been back to Howling, she’d kept to herself. This time that hadn’t happened. It was Newman, of course. He’d dragged her into his web of friends.

  She saw cars parked at the beginning of the trails, and beside them people. Her eyes found Newman. The sun was bouncing off his blond curls. Laughter had his head thrown back, and her fingers twitched for her camera. The shot would be a good one. He wore the Howling man’s standard uniform, like the others. Shorts, T-shirt, and on his feet were battered sneakers. He looked far removed from the corporate troubleshooter she knew him to be. He stood with his friends, Ethan, Annabelle, Jake, and Branna.

  “I hope you have plenty of props,” Newman said, reaching the pickup first as Brad pulled it to a stop. “You’ve got some ugly people to try and make pretty, Hope.”

  “If all else fails, there’s always Photoshop.”

  He laughed, and then held out a hand to help her down. She looked at it, then him.

  “It’s only a hand, Hope. Everyone needs one now and again.”

  “I can jump down, thanks.”

  He didn’t move, blocking her way. “If I promise not to kiss you, will that help?”

  Hope didn’t gasp, but still made a small agonized groan as her eyes shot to the others to see if anyone had heard.

  “Anytime soon, Hope. My arm’s starting to ache.”

  She put her hand in his and he helped her down. Hope refused to acknowledge the tingle of awareness that slid through her. This man had seen her naked and licked— Stop right there, Hope Lawrence.

  “So I was thinking here would be a great place to start,” Macy said to Hope, pointing to the beginning of the trail.

  Hope explored the area, and found a tree stump beneath a setting that would be perfect. She got her gear and started to set up with Mikey’s help.

  “I’m helping, Branna.”

  “I can see that you are, Mikey, and Hope’s an expert, so none better to learn from.”

  They all hugged the boy, and messed his hair, and Hope’s heart felt lighter knowing he had so many people loving him.

  She let the conversations come and go as she got organized, and soon had shut everyone out. This was her passion. This was what she loved most in life. Photography made Hope feel alive. She’d chosen animals, and nature, but she loved it all. It didn’t matter to her what she took pictures of, just that she did.

  “Okay, bring the first group in, and I’ll work with what I’ve got.”

  “Heard that, Lawrence,” Brad said.

  Of course, animals may be unpredictable, Hope thought thirty minutes later, but they don’t answer back .

  Looking through the lens, she watched Jake lean forward and whisper something in his wife’s ear. Hope took the shot.

  “It’s ridiculous how good-looking they all are, don’t you think, Mikey?”

  The boy studied the group. They were dressed in winter clothes, some in dress trousers and sweaters, others casual jeans and long-sleeved tees. Macy was moving into menswear, and this would be her first catalogue. Newman wore a thick wool jacket, jeans, and boots. On his head was a woolen beanie.

  “You do realize it’s eighty degrees today, and I’ll be ten pounds lighter soon, Macy,” he said.

  “I promised food after, so stop whining.”

  “Heartless wench.”

  “That’s my woman you’re insulting there, boy.”

  And so it went on. They insulted, teased, and generally annoyed each other, and Hope laughed softly behind her lens, and told herself she was not enjoying this day as much as she thought she was. Mikey, she sent to do her bidding, and tell them what to do. They were gentle with him when he handed out thick woolen scarves. Hope, however, got the stink eye.

  “Okay, now just the men, and I want you holding the axes and pretending to chop wood.”

  “Are you serious?” Newman glared at her. “My clothes are wringing wet, and now I have to chop frigging wood?”

  “If you head on back to town, you may find someone who cares,” Mikey said, smiling at Hope. She’d taught him that particular saying.

  “Why do I think that came from you, Loco Lawrence?”

  She didn’t speak, just waved Mikey in with the gloves, to more groans.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Macy called a break at lunchtime, and Newman stripped off the multiple layers he wore and breathed a sigh of relief when he was down to a bare torso and had pulled on a pair of shorts.

  They ate on the grass in front of the trails, and Newman watched Hope as she tidied her gear. He’d seen yet another side of her today. She was methodical and serious when she was behind the camera. She’d moved them around with military precision, and touched him without a thought. He’d felt it, however, all over his body. He watched her closely, and thought that once was not going to be enough with this woman. She fired him to life, challenged him, and he wanted more of her. He wasn’t sure if he was alone in that or not.

  “Just go over there and kiss her. We won’t look.”

  “What?”

  “Hope. You’re looking at her like she’s your last meal.”

  Buster, who’d arrived later with food, was seated beside Newman, devouring a chicken and potato salad sub. His eyes may have appeared lazy, but everyone believed that to their detriment.

  “The hell I am. Now shut up and eat.”

  His friend laughed softly, but said nothing further. When Brad produced a ball, the men got to their feet.

  “No bruises!”

  “Aw, come on, Macy, where’s the fun in that?” Tex said, accepting a pass from his brother.

  “You play, Hope, you were good at catching a ball in school,” Annabelle said. “Unfortunately, I have to sit this one out.”

  “What? Why?” Jake moved closer to Annabelle and looked her up and down. “You sick or something?” He touched her forehead.

  “No.” She swatted his hand away.

  “Then why aren’t you playing?”

  “Tell them, honey.” Tex moved to her side.

  “We just found out yesterday. I’m going to have a baby!”

  Silence settled for about a second, then everyone spoke at once. Branna shrieked. Brad whooped and hugged his brother hard. And Newman thought it was a wonderful thing. He kissed Annabelle on the cheek and hugged her gently.

  “You’re going to be a kickass mother, girl.”

  “Do you think so?” He saw the uncertainty. Annabelle had been raised without good role models, so to her mind she had a lot to learn.

  “I know so. Plus, you got all of us.”

  “I really do, don’t I?” Her smile was blinding.

  Newman nodded, then gave Tex a chest bump.

  “Pretty weak excuse, it has to be noted, Annabelle. But seeing as we have to have a token female for the PC brigade, you’re it, Hope,” Newman said. She was a few feet away, watching the excitement but not joining in. Socially awkward, his mother would have called her.

  She backed away, shaking her head. “Ah no, thanks.”

  Newman started making soft clucking noises, then did the chicken walk.

  “I’m not chicken. I just don’t want to do it!”

  “Sure, you hold on to that belief, sweet cheeks, if it makes you happy.”

  “I’m not.” She glared at him.

  “Sure sounds that way though.” Newman continued to needle her as he threw the ball long for Jake. He caught it, and Buster tackled him seconds later. Newman heard Hope mutter, “Mother of God, that had to hurt.”

  “It’s not for girls, except Annabelle, Hope. So maybe you’re better off sitting out.”

  That was the final nudge she needed. He watched as she pulled o
ff the hideous shirt in an as yet undetermined color, though maybe “carsick yellow” was accurate. Underneath, she wore a plain baby blue tank. Low on her hips were khaki shorts that actually showed off her legs, the hems resting midthigh. She bent, giving him a fine view, and unlaced her boots, and then jerked off her socks.

  “Now, Hope, I don’t want you to get hurt,” he added, in a patient and annoying tone.

  “Yeah, Hope. I’d hate for you to get hurt,” Buster mimicked.

  “Don’t listen to them, honey. You come and join the Texans, we’re always a winning team.”

  Newman watched Brad sling an arm around Hope’s shoulders. She didn’t stiffen, which he found interesting. Brad led her to where Ethan stood.

  “The Texans and Hope are one team. Buster, Jake, and Newman, the other,” Annabelle said.

  “Who made you ref?” Newman asked.

  She stuck out her tongue.

  “I’m sure you should be responsible, now you’re going to be a mother.”

  Branna had refused to play, and Mikey had one of Hope’s cameras and was taking pictures like she’d told him to, so it was just three each side.

  They stood facing each other, Hope directly across from him. He smiled; she bared her teeth. He looked down her top, and she hoisted it higher.

  The first play had him running decoy. Jake set up the pass, and Buster caught it with ease. He then did his requisite touchdown dance.

  “I hate that dance, it makes me want to ram his teeth down his throat,” Brad growled.

  “Now, now, young’un,” Buster crowed. “Just watch and learn from your elders.”

  It was true, Hope had been good at sports in school. She also did a bit of running and the occasional gym session when she had time, but hadn’t for a while. She’d been an idiot to let Newman bait her, because now she was sucking in oxygen and her shirt was sticking to her ribs. They’d been playing for what felt like a week, but was only thirty minutes, and she was about done.

  “Aww, what’s the matter, sweet cheeks, this all a bit much for you?”

  She looked into Newman’s sweaty face, and her first instinct was to jump him. His clothes clung to his big hard body, and for a man who made his money in a suit and tie behind a desk, he looked far too primal. Dragging her eyes away, she looked at Jake McBride. She felt nothing.