A Long Way Home

by Wendy Vella

  “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just leave it, Buster.”

  He couldn’t talk about it, not until they’d told their parents and were ready to speak about it openly.

  “Sit.”

  Newman took the pie to a table and sat. He was an adult, he didn’t have to say anything if he chose not to.

  “When’s your mom and dad back?”

  “Next week. They’re in Seattle visiting Mom’s sister, because she’s just had surgery on her leg.” Newman spoke in the voice he always used. He was a good talker, and could discuss anything. No need to touch on the subject of him and Hope, or the baby.

  Jesus, I’m going to be a father. The thought had the breath rushing in and out of his mouth. Newman needed to be in control. Needed to be on top of any situation. Help if he could, fixing it would be even better. This, he was struggling to come to grips with.

  How was it that moments ago, with Hope, he’d felt calmer? They’d spoken rationally about taking small steps, so why was he now back in panic mode?

  He’d just spent two days by himself, and come out the other side, he’d thought, with a better understanding of what needed to be done. He’d been fooling himself. He knew shit.

  “You’re pale, bud. Need to put your head between your knees, or blow in a bag? I can help you with both.”

  Buster put the coffee before him, and Newman grabbed it with both hands and inhaled. The aroma helped steady him.

  “I’m good. Got a stomach upset or something.”

  “You’re lying to me, Paul, and that makes me worried. You’re not a liar, nor do you get panicky. I’ve known you since our first day of school, and until this moment I didn’t believe you would hide anything from me.”

  “Come on, really? Surely I’m allowed some secrets.”

  “Sure, I don’t want to know about your love life, or even what color shorts you’re wearing under your Louis Vuittons. But big stuff, that we share.”

  “Leave it, Buster. Please.”

  His friend heaved a sigh, then settled in the seat across from Newman.

  “Here’s the thing. You’ve always been there for me. Always helped, fixed, done what needed to be done for me and everyone else. And we’re grateful, man… truly. You’re a fucking saint. But right now, it’s you that needs help returned, and I’m offering, but you’re not taking.”

  “I’m not a saint. You make me sound like some do-gooding superhero.”

  “I never mentioned superhero, bud.” Buster smiled, more a slight stretch of his lips, but his eyes were smiling.

  “It was implied.”

  “Like hell.”

  “I like the idea of a superpower,” Newman said, enjoying the silly conversation because it drew his mind away from Hope and the baby. “I could be Captain Fucking Awesome, or something.”

  “More like Captain Pretty Boy. Now spill.”

  “I never told you I was adopted, did I?” The words came out before he could stop them again, because he’d told Hope, and suddenly he didn’t want his birth to be a dirty secret anymore. To hell with what his father thought.

  For so long those words had lain deep and heavy inside him. Words that had made him into the man he was today. A pleaser. Someone who needed to be accepted. Because his father never let him forget that he owed him for taking him on.

  It was rare to see Buster shocked, but Newman had managed it.

  “Say what?”

  Newman sipped his coffee, and strangely felt more of the tightness inside him ease. Just some, not the huge lump of fear he had about the baby, but the other lump that had always been there.

  “How the hell have you kept that quiet? Further to the point, why have you?”

  “My father didn’t want anyone to know he and Mom couldn’t have children.”

  “You’re shitting me?”

  Newman shook his head.

  “Wow.” Buster took up his mug and swallowed. “That’s some shit to carry around. It’s amazing you’re not a complete whack job. Ever wondered?”

  “Sure. Had a look at finding my birth mom and stuff, but came up short. Plus, it upset Mom, when I told her.” Actually, his father had threatened to disown him if he continued, and while that hadn’t bothered him overly, it had upset his mom more.

  Buster studied him. Newman drank more coffee and waited for the questions his friend was forming.

  “Okay, so you’re probably carrying some shit about this, and I’m here if you need to talk about it. Still pretty pissed you haven’t before, but I can understand why. So we’ll shelve that for now. What else you got?”

  “My father is a control freak asshole.”

  “Now you’re just messing with me.”

  “No, actually. What you saw was what he wanted people to see. He wasn’t like that to me.”

  Buster looked mean. “He hit you or something?”

  “No, nothing like that. Just controlling.”

  “I thought you had it all going on.”

  “Not so much. You were the child who had it all going on.”

  “Actually, my dad used to make me have a bath every night. What’s with that?”

  Newman laughed as he was meant to.

  “I’m sorry that we didn’t know, Newman. But it does explain a bit.”

  “About what?”

  “I love your mom and stuff, and used to love your dad, but now not so much. But you are way smarter than them.”

  Newman raised his mug.

  “Your biological father could be like, Albert Einstein or something.”

  “Pretty sure he’s dead.”

  Buster waved a hand about.

  “It’s cool though. You get two sets of parents.”

  Newman had never thought of it that way. His birth had always been a dark secret. Looking across the table at his friend, he liked his take on it better. He didn’t answer, just grunted.

  “Okay, so we got the birth thing, the father’s an asshole thing. And on that, he’s not getting a free cake with his coffee anymore, just saying.”

  “You gave him free shit?”

  “Nothing in this cafe is shit, but yes. He always managed to get something out of me.”

  “Tight bastard.”

  “Good thing you don’t carry his blood then.”

  It is , Newman thought.

  “So anyway, what else is bothering you?”

  “That’s not enough?”

  “Hidey-ho, the constabulary has just arrived,” Buster said.

  Newman was relieved to see Cubby walk in, even if his face was drawn and he could barely keep his eyes open.

  “Tough night, bud?”

  “Long,” Cubby grunted. “Fucking long.”

  Buster got up to make coffee.

  “What’s up?”

  “Those Wildlife peeps had a break-in, and two cameras got stolen. Actually they’ve had several things happen, but this is the first one they’ve told me about.”

  Newman wasn’t sure why he had a funny feeling all of a sudden, but he did.

  “What things?”

  “Tires slashed, and smashed headlights. Someone spray painted the word ‘asshole’ on one of their vans.”

  “And they’re only letting you know now?”

  “I asked them that when I got there at 4:00 a.m., which was the time they were loading up to head out for a shoot. I’ve been there since. Photographing, taking statements. Strangely, no one heard a thing. Which is just plain weird, considering the room it was stored in was in the house.”

  “What’d they say?”

  “That they know the person responsible and didn’t want to make trouble for her.”

  “It’s not Hope,” Newman said.

  Cubby stumbled into the seat across from him, with a pie that he was consuming with all the ferocity of a man facing his last meal.

  “I’m not going to lie to you, Newman, that Ms. Linear is throwing Hope’s name around like confetti. Not that she will get anywhere without evidence, but still, not
nice for your girl.”

  “Hope didn’t do it, Cubby.”

  “I know it, but they’re making murmurs. Seems you and she got into an argument with the head lady of Wildlife, right here on the streets. And she thinks Hope did this as payback for being fired.”

  “No way. They’re just going at her because they can. Plus there’s the professional jealousy they have that Hope’s working with John Finch, and they’re not.”

  Cubby held up a hand as Newman started to get out of his chair.

  “Didn’t say I believed it, bud. Just telling you what they’re thinking. I know Hope as well as you, and I also know she’d never do this, or anything illegal. Militant may not be one of my favorite citizens, but I know her morals are strong. Her daughter is the same.”

  Newman sat again. “She’s a good person.”

  “Seems to me she’d have to be if she’s interested in you.”

  “Was that a compliment, Sheriff?”

  The sheriff looked at him through bloodshot eyes. “Pretty sure it was, but then I’m tired, and could be talking out my ass.”

  “Nah, you love me.”

  Cubby grunted, then started on his muffin.

  “Tell him. You have to, now you’ve told me.” Buster yelled the words from his coffee machine.

  “No, I don’t, and maybe I wanted it kept between us,” Newman replied.

  “Just say it, pretty boy.”

  “Someone better say something and fast, because I’m tired and that makes me mean.” Cubby yawned and looked so far removed from mean that Newman snorted.

  “I’m adopted, Cubby.”

  “Really, wow? You kept that quiet.”

  “My father didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “Not sure why. Being adopted is something to be proud of from where I’m sitting. Seems to me two sets of parents love you. One gave you away because they couldn’t care for you properly, and the second took you because they wanted a child to love.”

  Newman liked the sound of that too.

  “Always thought you were different. What’s keeping you, Buster? A man’s dying here!”

  Newman laughed softly. He’d told two of his friends, and both had taken the news about his birth in their strides. Sharing was freeing, he realized.

  “So I need to talk to Hope now, Newman. Her ex-boss wants answers, or she’s going to start screaming loud and long.”

  This would be hard on her, Newman realized. Really hard. Hope was loyal, and she’d taken what had happened with Jay Herald hard. And now she was pregnant, which only added to the emotion she was carrying around inside her. Better to get this done and soon , he thought. He didn’t want her hearing anything from anyone else.

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  “I don’t believe I asked you to come.”

  “Tough.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Hope was only doing a short shift at the bar, so when she was done, she met Mikey at the McBride house for another photography lesson. Tonight she and John were doing some more shots at sunset. Ethan was flying them into a location they’d found.

  “Hey, Branna.”

  Dressed in cutoffs and a loose cotton top, Branna McBride looked relaxed and beautiful. Rose was rested on one hip, dressed in a pink dress, her hair in two pigtails on top of her head.

  “Hi, Hope.”

  They were standing on the deck of the long, low log cabin Jake had built. Hope was tickling the little girl under the chin when Jake walked out with scruffy hair and worn clothes. He moved to stand at his wife’s back. It was instinctive, Hope realized. Their love had them gravitating to each other.

  “Can I take a few shots of you three?”

  “Sure,” Jake said.

  “Mikey, come here.”

  The boy ambled over, and soon she had him taking the pictures. He snapped off several, then she did a few. It really was a beautiful setting with the redwoods in the background.

  “Can we see?”

  “You show them, Mikey. I’m going to have a look around for a good location for your next lesson.”

  She walked off the steps and slowly navigated the house, then wandered down to the barn. It was as she reached it that she heard cars. Cubby’s cruiser was followed by Newman’s Jeep.

  Her first thought was to keep walking, but that would be rude as she’d seen them. And while she did rude, she tried not to do it too much here in her hometown.

  “Hey, Sheriff.”

  “Hope. I need to talk with you, if you have the time?”

  He looked serious, his blue eyes intent as they focused on her. Newman had got out of his car and moved to her side.

  “What’s happened?”

  “Let’s take this somewhere quiet.”

  She nodded.

  “What’s up, Cubby?”

  “I need to talk to Hope for a bit, Jake. You all good if I do that in the barn?”

  “Sure.” Jake looked curious, but he didn’t say anything. “I’ll put the coffee on, you come on up to the house after.”

  “Will do.”

  Hope followed Cubby to the barn with Newman on their heels.

  “Does this concern you too?”

  “Nope, but Cubby filled me in.” His face was serious, which only increased her tension.

  They entered the large space, and she saw cars and tools. Stopping just inside the door, she folded her arms over her chest and waited.

  “There’s been a few incidents at the Wildlife headquarters. Last night someone broke in and stole two cameras. And Casey Rae Linear is laying the blame at your feet.”

  The shock had her staying silent as Cubby elaborated. He told her everything he knew, and beside him, Newman stood silently with his eyes on her.

  “And you believe I did this?” She looked at him.

  “No!” The word exploded from Newman with so much force Hope couldn’t help but believe him.

  “Thanks.” It meant a lot to her that he believed her.

  “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you did it either, Hope,” Cubby said. “But I have to follow this through as I’m the sheriff.”

  “Of course, Cubby. I understand that. But I didn’t do it.”

  “Can anyone verify where you were last night?”

  “Only my mom. But I went to bed early, just after nine.”

  “Good, okay, that’s a help.” Cubby got out his notebook and scribbled as she talked, and answered the questions he asked her.

  “Right, that’s it for now. I’m going to try and solve this as soon as I can, but don’t leave town before I do.”

  “I won’t. I guess because Casey never liked me, and after what happened between us just the other day, this is personal now too. There’s also this business with John Finch, and me saying I’m looking at challenging Wildlife for what they did to me.”

  Cubby nodded. “Newman filled me in on that conversation, and the rest of the stuff.”

  They left the barn then, and headed up to the house, where the McBrides were awaiting them with Mikey on the deck. She took a chair, suddenly exhausted.

  “You okay?”

  “Trying to be,” she said as he sat beside her. “But it’s not fair, Newman. I mean, I lost my job because of him, and now this from her.”

  “I know, but we’ll get through. Trust Cubby, okay? He’s the best.”

  She nodded.

  “You okay with the others knowing?”

  “Sure, they’ll find out anyway.”

  She sipped her tea while they talked to Jake and Branna. Mikey played with Rose, drawing her pictures. Was her baby a little girl or boy? She turned and caught Newman’s eyes, and knew he was thinking the same thoughts. His smile was gentle.

  “I’m sorry about this, Hope. Especially after what happened with your job, and that idiot Jay.”

  Jake McBride was talking, and he looked genuinely pissed off on her behalf. It was always a shock when someone sided with her, because she’d always done everything solo, and never really in
spired great friendship in people. And then the nausea came, so quickly, it caught her off guard. She usually had warning and got a cracker out of her bag to nibble.

  “Could I use your bathroom?” Hope got to her feet quickly, so quickly she stumbled. Newman grabbed her, steadying her.

  “Sure, I’ll take you.” Branna took her arm and led the way.

  Hope inhaled through her nose, willing the nausea away, praying no one realized what the hell was going on.

  “Mikey, you go on inside and get that soda for yourself,” Jake said.

  Newman knew the boy had been sent away because his friend wanted to say something in private. They stayed silent until both Mikey and Rose had disappeared.

  So, when’s the baby due?”

  “What?” Newman nearly choked on the word.

  “Hope just went green, and unless she’s got a stomach upset, which I don’t think she has, she’s pregnant.”

  Only he and Cubby had heard the words.

  “What?” Newman said again to buy himself some more time. “Because her stomach’s upset, she’s suddenly pregnant?”

  “Doctor, bud. Call it instinct. So am I right?”

  “I’m adopted.” He went for that instead of answering. It had worked with Buster, after all. And now that he had told two of his friends, the rest needed to know.

  “Yeah?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay, so that explains a few things. So, about Hope. What’s the deal?”

  “My parents are not my real parents, Jake.”

  “Always thought there was something odd there. I mean, both your parents are dark-haired, and there’s you with those blond, girly curls.”

  “They’re not girly, they’re manly.”

  “So about Hope?” Jake had always been persistent.

  “There is no about Hope. And I’ve been thinking, Cub. You know how she was dismissed. Do you think she should start proceedings for wrongful dismissal? Would that put the heat back on Wildlife?”

  “Sure, could do. But has nothing to do with this side of things. This is criminal, and without evidence I can’t charge Hope.”

  “Are we just going to ignore the fact that Hope is carrying Newman’s child?” Jake said.

  “Why do you think she’s carrying my child?”

  Jake snorted. “You can’t keep your eyes off each other. Then there’s that kiss Tex saw happening in the Roar.”