by Emily Ward
“Pardon me, Miss, I did not mean any harm in what I said. I only meant that you might have missed the life you lived before poverty struck your home. I am sorry to hear of your loss and I pray that the Lord will comfort you in your time of sadness. If you all will excuse me for a moment, I must get some fresh air,” Charles said as he stood from the table.
He could feel her eyes boring into his back and he dared not turn around. He did not want her to know that he wanted her to watch him walk out the door, that he wanted her to follow him. Charles burst through the front door of the estate and walked across the driveway, stopping at the fence line that surrounded the north pasture. He leaned against the fence and took a deep breath. What was happening to him? What was he thinking? How could he betray Emily by thinking of her cousin after only just meeting her? He shook his mind free of the thoughts and questions that were swirling in his mind and chalked his feelings up to the fact that he was a carnal man that had not felt the touch of a woman since before he had been betrothed to Emily. Before her, he had been used to frequenting brothels on a nightly basis. Since the engagement that had stopped cold.
Moments after he had walked out of the estate, Emily joined him at the fence. Despite the look in her eye that told him she wanted to be in his arms at that moment, she remained the proper distance away from him and made sure that her hand did not touch his in any way since there was no chaperone to bear witness to their meeting.
“Is everything all right, My Lord?” She asked him softly.
He hated it when she addressed him that way. He was going to be her husband in a few months for heaven’s sake, he wanted her to call him by his name. He choked back a sigh of irritation as he turned to look at her. Emily was just as beautiful as Madeline was and it frustrated him that his thoughts were consumed by her. He did not want to be a philanderer like his father was even as his mother lay dying.
“Please, we are going to be married soon, do call me Charles. I am just fine I just needed some cool night air. I was beginning to get a bit warm as it is a bit stifling inside,” he lied, hoping she could not see through it.
She smiled and nodded at his request and it thrilled his heart to see her smile. He knew he loved Emily and he would be hers forever, he just could not understand what it was about Madeline that interested him so. He offered his arm to Emily and walked with her back inside the home making sure to let go of Emily before entering the dining hall.
“Please forgive me for stepping away and interrupting the meal. I felt a bit ill and needed to feel the night’s cool breeze,” he said apologetically as he met Madeline’s gaze.
Once Charles was seated at the table again, dessert was served, and the chatter once again commenced. As they ate, he was quiet and listened to the banter between the two females and grinned as they teased one another.
“How about we adjourn to my study for a night cap of brandy and a cigar and let these two young ladies gossip?” The duke said with a wink.
Charles smiled and nodded his approval as he stood from his chair. He turned to the girls and bowed slightly at the waist. “Good evening, ladies. I hope you have pleasant dreams this evening,” he said as he looked them both in the eyes.
Seeing the flush of pink appear in both of their faces pleased him, sending his body into a frenzy. He knew he needed to get out of the room before he lost control of himself. He followed the duke to his study and once again sat on the overstuffed couch that sat against the wall beside the desk. He graciously took the snifter of brandy the duke offered and helped the man light his cigar. Once the duke had his cigar, Charles sat back and struck a match for his own.
“Nothing can compare to the taste of a good brandy and cigar, do you agree?” The duke asked as he took a puff on his cigar.
“Yes, Your Grace, I do agree with you. This brandy is very smooth. It must be a good vintage I would wager,” Charles replied.
Walter laughed as he sipped from his glass. “You would be correct, my boy. It is a very good year. It was made the year I met Emily’s mother,” he answered.
The smile on Charles’ face disappeared at the mention of Emily’s mother. Just as Madeline had lost her parents in a tragic way, Emily’s mother had been taken from them in a horse-riding accident that happened at his estate three years before. It had been around the same time that he had agreed to become betrothed to Emily.
“I am still so deeply sorry about what happened that day, Your Grace. If I could have done something to save her, I would have done so,” he offered quietly.
“I know that, Charles. I do not hold you responsible in any way. It was an accident and there was nothing you or I could have done to prevent it. Now, let us get back to these glorious cigars before they waste away,” he said.
After the last of the decanter of brandy was consumed and the last cigar smoked for the evening, Charles made his way to the guest room at the back of the lower floor of the home. He had been there plenty of times to know that Emily’s room was right above his and he could hear faint whispers through the ceiling. He wondered what they were talking about and if he had been the subject of any of their gossip. He smiled at that thought as he tried to get comfortable. As he closed his eyes to sleep, the sounds of giggles from the floor above him floated down to his ears like songs from angels in heaven. He knew his heart was Emily’s, but he wanted to know more about the younger Miss Fisher.
***
It had been several days since he arrived at the Fisher estate and Charles was enjoying his visit with Emily and helping prepare for her birthday celebration that would be taking place the next night. He was relieved that Madeline spent most of her day in town at the schoolhouse and that he would not be tempted by her charms all of the time. He was pleased to have ample time with Emily, chaperoned of course, without that distraction. He still could not understand why Madeline called to him like she did even though they had barely had any interaction with one another.
Just as Charles finished cinching his saddle down for a ride with Emily, the carriage delivered Madeline home. He knew he did not need to have her around but did not want to leave her sitting there alone. He watched as Madeline spoke with Emily and they headed for the barn. He knew then that Emily had invited her along on their ride. How was he going to contain himself and keep control? He knew now why his mother had always condemned his lifestyle choice.
He held the reins to Emily’s horse and waited patiently for them to return with a horse for Madeline. He noticed she had also snuck into the house and changed into her riding habit. He tried not to gaze at her too long lest his body betray him and tell her of his carnal desire. They bounded over to him and Emily took the reins from him, being careful not to touch. He wondered if it was because she did not want to break protocol and get in trouble with her father, or if she avoided his touch because she truly did not love him. He hoped that it was the latter of the two. Once they each had their horses reins in hand, they mounted them and headed for the countryside. Charles took in the scene around him and marveled at the bold mountains that were lined at the bottom with deep green trees.
“Your father owns beautiful land, my dear. We should ride and explore it more often,” he said with a smile.
Emily giggled and nodded to him. “Yes, perhaps we should. It seems that we never get enough time together on your visits because father always seems to steal you away,” she replied.
They stopped at a brook so the horses could drink the cool, fresh water and Charles sat at the edge of the bank. He quickly untied the laces of his riding boots and pulled them from his feet, submerging them into the clear water below. Something deep inside him lurched as Madeline sat down beside him and proceeded to bare her feet, sliding them into the water beside his. It was not normal for the “chaperone” to let the couple engage in that sort of behavior let alone do it themselves. Charles saw that Emily was a bit irritated with Madeline and did not want to cause any problems between the two of them, so he pulled his feet from the water and dried them
with his handkerchief before sliding his boots back on.
He stood on the bank and watched as Madeline stood and waded into the water, getting the hem of her habit wet. He laughed as she flailed her arms and spun around causing the water to spray up around her. He sensed her free spirit and decided it was that part of her calling to him. He needed to see more of that side of her. It was a side that Emily never showed to him. He knew he loved Emily, but he would not be able to bear it if his life became dull and boring once they were wed. He could sense Emily’s growing irritation as she walked to the edge of the bank and stood by his side.
“We better be heading back it will be time for dinner soon and we need to clean up a bit,” she said in a flat tone as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Charles nodded and held out his hand for Madeline as she made her way out of the water. As they touched, he felt and jolt of something through his arm and he knew there was something more than met the eye with her, but he did not know what it could be. He knew he wanted to find out, no matter the cost.
Madeline
Madeline could not help but to look at him from the corner of her eye as they made their way back to the estate from the loveliest horseback ride, she had ever been on. She knew that the things she was feeling inside in regard to him were things that she should not be feeling about her cousin’s fiancé, but she could not help the way he made her feel. She knew the moment their hands had touched at the brook that there was something special about him. She also saw how miserable his paying attention to her had made Emily. She did not want to do anything to come between the two of them and ruin their happiness, but it was not exactly her fault that his eyes made their way in her direction quite often. She knew that she could do nothing about his behavior and the fact that he liked to look at her, but she told herself she could not let herself get out of control with him. She would do nothing to hurt Emily or betray the only family she had left that had been so kind to take her in.
They arrived at the barn just as the sun was beginning to set and Madeline knew that it would be time for dinner soon. She enjoyed sitting around the table with them and listening to the chatter about the day and what everyone had done. School was almost over for the winter and Madeline felt a bit relieved at that. She liked school and learning, but she found herself wanting to be at the estate more and more with Charles being there. She knew that was wrong of her, but she could not help the feelings she was starting to develop for him despite the fact he was about to marry Emily.
She found herself alone in the barn as she put away the saddle and blanket and started brushing out the horse. The horse side stepped nervously and let out a small knicker as Madeline suddenly realized she was no longer alone in the barn. She turned slightly to find Charles standing mere inches from her. She gasped as his nose touched hers.
“My Lord, what do you think you are doing? This is highly inappropriate!” Madeline squeaked.
Before anything else could be said, his lips were on hers hard and fierce. She tried to pull away from him, but his grip on her was far too strong. She finally broke the kiss although her body told her not to and smacked him hard across the cheek.
“How dare you touch me in such a manner! You sir, should be utterly ashamed of yourself and my uncle will hear about this immediately!” She shouted at him as she tried to get past him.
Charles grabbed her arm and turned her to face him once again. “I beg your pardon, miss, but I have wanted to do that since the day I arrived. I do not know what it is about you that has intoxicated me so, but I cannot get you out of my mind. I do hope that you can forgive me and not tell your uncle. It was a mistake and I will make sure it does not happen again. I do not want to hurt anyone especially my dearest Emily,” he begged her.
Madeline looked down at his hand around her arm and looked up at him before finally nodding in agreement. She did not want to hurt anyone either, but she had enjoyed every moment of that kiss whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not. He released her arm and she stepped back from him making sure there was plenty of distance between them.
“Alright, I will not say anything about this to either one of them, but this can never happen again, Charles,” she said sternly.
He nodded in agreement and she thought she felt her heart drop a bit. She thought he would have fought a bit more than that if he had really wanted something more between them. Whatever that moment between them was, she could not explain it and would never tell anyone that it had happened. The only issue she saw was that she wanted him to do it again. She wanted to feel his hard body pressed against her as their lips melded together in unison. She wanted him to be her first and she knew that was something that she should not even think about with any man let alone her cousins betrothed. She knew she had to do whatever it took to keep him from kissing her again, she just did not know how she was going to keep herself from letting it happen again.
***
Days had passed since the encounter with Charles in the barn and Madeline had done very good at avoiding him. The birthday party had gone off without a hitch and Madeline was grateful for that. She had managed to keep her animal like feelings for Charles a secret by pretending she did not want to dance with him, but deep down she desperately wanted to. Emily had been bestowed with several birthday gifts and everyone had stayed until well after midnight.
When she knew he was in the house, she would go outside and play with the dogs and other animals. She would look towards the house and find him watching her through the window and the fact that he was watching her made her feel things deep inside her belly that she had never felt for anyone before. She was beginning to wish that his visit would be over so that she did not have to worry about the way he was making her feel or the fact that if he tried, she would most likely let him kiss her again, maybe more.
She found herself in the barn after a walk around the grounds. She knew that he would have to come outside at some point, and she would be able to sneak into the house and go to her room without him seeing her. She was about to exit the barn when he almost ran into her, gripping her arms to keep her from toppling over.
“Good afternoon, m’lady, I hoped I would see you soon. You have been a bit unavailable since our last chat. I hope that you can accept my apology for my boorish behavior and things can go on as normal with us. I do not want it to be awkward for either of us,” he said stiffly.
“Of course, I accept your apology. There will be no awkwardness between us. What happened before was a silly mistake and no one needs to know anything about it, and we can go on as friends. I must admit to you that was my first kiss and although my behavior showed I did not like it, I will cherish the memory of it for all of my days,” Madeline said softly.
She dared to look in his eyes for a moment and there was a fire in them that she had seen the day he kissed her. He desired her just as she desired him. She wanted to beg him to take her in his arms and ravish her, but the image of dear Emily’s face crossed her mind and she knew she could do nothing to break her cousin’s heart. She stood unmoved from the doorway of the barn and stared at him intensely for a few moments before she pulled him into the barn and closed the door behind them. Without thinking, she pressed her lips to his feverishly devouring them with hers. She pulled away allowing them to catch their breath before pulling him to the ladder that led to the hay loft at the top of the barn. They hurriedly climbed the ladder before falling into each other’s arms in a big pile of sweet-smelling hay. She gazed into his eyes as he towered over her, letting her body feel all the things it had been trying to feel but she had pushed it aside. She knew that what they were doing was horribly wrong, but she could not deny the feelings she had for him. She knew it would break Emily’s heart and the heart of her gracious uncle if they ever found out, but she did not want to worry about that. All she wanted was to feel Charles against her and inside her.
Madeline pulled his lips to hers and kissed him deeply, the passion mounting as the kiss lingered. Sof
t moans escaped her lips and he responded to them. After several moments of intense kissing, she pushed him back from her and shook her head. She knew they could not do what they were about to do, it would ruin everything for Emily and for her.
“We cannot do this, Charles. It is not right nor fair to Emily or to me. I do not want to have romantic attachments to a man that is highly unavailable,” she declared.
She gasped as his hand made its way up her skirt to her bloomers and ripped the fabric away from her body with one swift movement. Apparently, what she had just said had fallen on deaf ears. She squealed as he crushed his lips to hers yet again. Her eyes grew wide, but she did not break the kiss as his hand continued to roam her body, loosening the bodice of her dress so that he could cup her pert breast. He groaned against her mouth as he massaged her breast under his hand.
The pressure between her thighs was becoming too much for her and she began to wiggle against him. She pulled back from the kiss panting from lack of air as she grabbed his hand and guided his fingers where she wanted them to be.
“I want you to touch me here, Charles. I want to feel your warm skin touching mine,” she breathed softly as his fingers began to explore her tender folds of flesh.
The sensation was becoming too much for her and it was something she had never felt before. She did not know what to think of what she felt, but she knew it was wonderful.
Just as Madeline was about to cry out in pleasure, the sound of footsteps sounded down below them. Madeline carefully maneuvered herself so that she could see over the edge of the loft and found Emily standing beneath them. Her eyes widened in panic.
“Madeline? Charles? Are you both in here? I find it odd that you have both disappeared at the same time. Hello? Well, I suppose I will go look in the house again,” she said as she made her way out of the barn.
