Heart of Sin

by Nicola Jane

  “Sorry, I didn’t think about that.”

  “No, you really didn’t,” he mutters, shoving me into the elevator and then standing in front of me, keeping his back to me. “You’ve embarrassed me tonight Alivia, that won’t happen again.”

  “I said sorry, I’m not used to all this, I don’t know the etiquette of these sort of things,” I say.

  “It’s quite simple, act like a fucking educated lady and not some cheap drunken hooker,” he snaps. I rear back like he’s slapped me. A stab of pain hits my heart and I blink to keep the tears from coming to my eyes. “Why were you even talking to him anyway, I told you I don’t like him and I don’t want to do business with him.”

  I take a moment to reply, trying hard to get my feelings in to check. “We got talking, he was bored like me,” I mutter.

  “It’s a charity function to raise money for underprivileged children and you two sit huddled at the bar getting wasted on cheap shots. It’s disrespectful not to mention in poor taste.”

  The elevator finally opens and I breathe a sigh of relief, I just want to be away from him. I follow him into the lobby, our room is the only one on this floor and so he goes straight to it and unlocks the door.

  Inside is beautiful. The large four poster bed is huge and there’s a piano in the corner of the room. Across from that is a hot tub with unlit candles floating on the water. If I was a newlywed, I’d be very happy with this room. I go straight to the bathroom and get undressed; I leave on the underwear and wrap myself in the complimentary robe. Toothbrushes are provided luckily. When I go back in to the room Vass is sitting up in bed. His clothes lay folded on the chair and he has the television remote in his hand, flicking through the various channels. I take in his broad muscled chest and bite my lip. I can’t share a bed with this man, mainly because my body is craving his touch since that steamy kiss for the press earlier but also because he hurt me with his words yet again and I’m mad at him for that. I take myself off to the couch.

  “What are you doing Alivia?” he sighs.

  “Getting some sleep. The minute I wake up I’m out of here,” I mutter, laying down and wrapping the robe tighter around me.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, you can sleep in the bed with me there’s more than enough room.”

  “No, I’m not sharing a bed with you,” I snap.

  “I won’t touch you don’t worry about that,” he says firmly and it sends another stab to my heart. I snuggle down, the couch is comfy, not as comfy as the bed looks but I refuse to share with Vass after the way he’s been this evening. “I didn’t like seeing you talking with that guy tonight,” mutters Vass.

  “You’d ignored me all evening, I won’t sit being ignored. Next time take someone else to these things, I don’t fit in here.”

  “Alivia of course you do, I have to attend a lot of these sort of things. You’ll get used to them. Next time I’ll make sure I don’t ignore you. I was pissed because of earlier today.”

  I prop myself up on my elbows so that I can see Vass. He’s staring at the television still channel hopping. “Vass what are those marks on your back?” I ask quietly.

  He doesn’t look in my direction and I don’t think he’s going to answer me but then he sighs, “From a cane,” he says.

  I sit up, “A cane?” I repeat, “I don’t understand.”

  “And you never will, it’s just something I have to do once in a while but you wouldn’t understand why or how it helps.”

  “If we’re going to get married don’t you think you’ll need to start letting me in Vass? How will I ever understand your world when you won’t show it to me?”

  Vass sniggers and shakes his head like he’s thinking of a private joke, “It’s safer you stay in your perfect world Alivia. Goodnight.” I lay back down feeling deflated. I want to know him more and he shuts me out every time I think I’m making progress. I use the wedding as a way to try and prize information from him when in actual fact I genuinely want to know, I need to know this man and I can’t even explain to myself why.

  I wake to shouting. I slowly open my eyes and look around. Vass’s voice hurts my head and I wince every time he speaks. He’s pacing around the room with his mobile pressed to his ear. “I don’t care. I want to know who the hell sent them those pictures. It’s like I’m being followed,” he pauses for a second whilst the person on the other end of the phone speaks, “But I was told that no press were invited inside the venue so it makes no sense. Just call them and threaten legal action, I’m pissed off with this circus.” He disconnects the call and chucks his mobile phone onto the bed. He notices I’m awake but doesn’t look happy.

  “Do you want breakfast? There’s a tray over by the window,” he says pointing in that direction.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask sitting up.

  “No, the gossip column is bursting with bullshit today,” he mutters. I pick up my mobile phone and check for the news alerts I signed up for. Sure, enough there are several. “Don’t even look, its not worth it,” he warns me. I place my phone back on the table, deciding I’ll look when I’m next alone.

  “Get showered, we’ll head off to get a change of clothes and then spend today together,” he says.

  “I might have plans,” I mutter. I don’t but he just assumes he can take up my time.

  He pulls on his jacket. “Then cancel them because you’re spending the day with me.”

  Vass takes me home to change. I find it odd that he has a change of clothes at Clarisse’s place but I remind myself that it’s none of my business. We spend an entire day shopping. It’s not that I don’t like shopping but I feel a bit like Vivian from Pretty Woman and it makes me feel cheap. I have my own money now that I’m being paid but Vass insists on buying my clothes, things I wouldn’t normally buy for myself but all are beautiful. He insists on cocktail dresses and other dressy kind of garments. As the day creeps by I can’t help but let doubts sink in. All these clothes aren’t me, somebody like Annalise would dress like this but I like my jeans and vests. Obviously, my workwear is smart with dresses and typical office wear and I have a great evening wardrobe of the usual things someone of my age would wear, things I can pick up on the high street that are fashionable and affordable. We pass a jewellers and Vass grabs my hand to stop me from walking past. “Would you like to choose your own ring? I never really thought about it but the one I picked up might not be to your taste,” he says.

  “Suddenly you care about my taste,” I mutter, “No the ring you picked is fine, I’m not a jewellery kind of girl.”

  “I noticed,” he says raising his eyebrows. I feel like it’s another dig at my lower-class ways and quite frankly I’m sick of it. My hangover is so bad and I am out of patients.

  “Is that a problem?” I ask.

  “No, why would it be, I was just saying I’ve noticed you don’t really wear any kind of jewellery,” he says, “Maybe we should grab a coffee and take a quick break,” he suggests taking my hand again and pulling me across the road to a coffee shop. I leave Vass to place the order and I get us a seat by the window. There’s a queue and it’s a good opportunity to check the online gossips so I pull out my phone and click on the news alert. A photo of Vass and Annalise kissing opens and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. The headline reads, Vass Fletcher embraces his split from Annalise well. I go on to read how the pair were spotted at last nights charity event locking lips whilst his current beau was spotted propping up the bar. This is followed by a photo of me looking drunk and upset at the bar. It must have been a lucky picture whilst I was mid-blink because I look terrible and it’s been taken at an angle as if I was sat alone and not with Luke. Fury fills me and I glance up in time to see Vass walking towards me with our coffees. He stares at the mobile in my hand and must sense that I’m pissed because he slowly lowers in to the seat opposite me and cautiously passes me a coffee. “You saw the gossip column didn’t you?” he asks.

  “You should have warned me Vass,” I hiss angrily
, “I look like an idiot.”

  “It wasn’t how it looked Liv,” he says.

  “Now you call me Liv?” I snap and he looks at me confused, “You’ve called me Alivia for the last twenty-four hours but now you want to placate me you call me Liv,” I explain.

  “I’m not going to argue about this with you, it isn’t what it looked like so take my word for it and ignore it.” I get to my feet and grab my bag. “Where’re you going?” he sighs.

  “You might be able to just ignore it Vass but it’s me that the world is laughing at right now so excuse me if I’m a little upset about that.” I stomp from the coffee shop almost knocking into another customer as I leave. Vass is hot on my heels, his hands full of shopping bags.

  “Alivia wait,” he orders but I’m too angry to listen to him right now. People look up as he runs to catch me up, shouting my name. He gets in front of me, trying to slow me down. “Let’s not do this now. I get that you’re mad but don’t make a scene in the street. We can go back to my place and talk.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you right now. If you don’t want to make a scene then stop following me.”

  “People are staring Alivia, please lets go and talk about this somewhere quiet,” he asks.

  “There’s nothing to talk about. Go and see Annalise, in fact give her your charity clothes, she’d love them,” I snap.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “All of those,” I say pointing to the shopping bags he’s holding, “They are her Vass, all of them. Not me. You clearly want her, so just go to her and leave me the hell alone.”

  He continues to walk backwards in front of me, “Alivia this is ridiculous. You’re being dramatic.” I stop and Vass breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you, let’s go somewhere quiet.”

  “If you don’t stop following me I’m going to really make a show,” I warn, “Now leave me the hell alone.”

  “Look if it’s just about the clothes then we can choose something else. I know you prefer high street brands I just wanted to treat you to something nice,” he says.

  “Wow, the insults literally fall out of your mouth with no effort,” I snap and he groans loud, clearly irritated by my lack of compliance. “Keep the clothes, keep the god damn ring and stay the hell away from me.” I move around him and march in and out of the busy shoppers, making my way home.

  Clarisse is in the kitchen when I get back. She smiles, “Hey you, how was last night?”

  “Don’t even ask,” I snap. I fill her in on the key points.

  “Vass is an ass sometimes. He wouldn’t have realised he was being insensitive. I’ll talk to him.” I shake my head. I don’t want to involve her in this, Vass is her friend. Right now I just want to sleep this hangover off and then spend my evening how I planned to last night before Vass took control.

  Vass

  “Are you trying to blow this?” yells Clarisse down the phone line.

  “She totally overreacted. That picture was staged, Annalise lunged at me and someone clearly took a picture. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did that on purpose. And, I’ve never had a woman that hates going shopping and being spoilt. I thought she’d appreciate that.”

  “I suggest you get to know Alivia Vass because you’re so used to women that want your money that you don’t know how to appreciate a real woman, one that just wants to get to know you. This girl is willing to marry you just so you can keep The Luxe and she doesn’t want anything in return. She feels like the press are laughing at her, the poor girl from a council estate being cheated on by the great Vass. Whatever she does always backfires on her. Stay the hell away from Annalise, she’s out for trouble.”

  “Don’t I know it. I’ve already had six members cancel membership because of her father’s influence.”

  “Well it’s a good job that you have an amazing marketing employee isn’t it,” she says and then disconnects the call.

  I need to let off some steam. I keep seeing Alivia laughing with that ass last night and it’s evoking feelings that I’ve never had before. Feelings I have avoided for most of my adult life. Usually I’d shut this shit down now and move on but I can’t do that with Alivia, not only do I need her for the next few months but I also like having her around.

  I wander from room to room throughout The Luxe. Nothing is appealing to me, not the couples fucking in the viewing rooms, not the two girls on stage and not the Dom/Sub shit going off in the playroom. I lean against the wall of the bar, resting my head back and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me tonight. “Hello stranger, I was starting to think my best mate had gone and got himself loved up or something.” I look up as Alex saunters towards me.

  “Hey, I’ve had a lot on. What’re you doing here on tonight?” I ask. Usually Alex hits the town on a Saturday night getting wasted on expensive drinks and cheap pussy.

  “I’ve brought a friend for a play around,” he says looking back in the direction of the bar where a brunette sits sipping a cocktail and looking around nervously.

  “She doesn’t look like the type Alex, where’d you find her?” I ask.

  “A dating site,” he says.

  “You joined a dating site?” I ask. I’m surprised because Alex is never short of females that want to entertain him. He also has the same problem as me, he can never find a woman that understands this lifestyle.

  “I thought it was about time I tried to find a genuine person, think about settling down, I’m thirty years old,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

  I give him a sceptical look, “And you thought a dating site was the best place to do that?”

  “Clarisse suggested it,” he says, his eyes avoiding mine. Alex has been in love with Clarisse since his teenage years. We were all friends together and I knew from very early on that he was besotted with her. It just never happened for them and I thought Alex was over that but the look on his face tells me he really isn’t.

  “Man you still like Clarisse, after all these years?” I ask surprised.

  “No, why’d you say that?” he asks innocently.

  “Hey I’m not judging, you know I love Clarisse like my sister. Have you told her?”

  “God no, can you imagine. She isn’t into me like that and I respect her for it,” he says, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything. We’re working as friends I don’t want to ruin it.” I give him a nod, he’s my best friend and I wouldn’t do that to him but I do think him and Clarisse could make it work. They both love this place and they love this lifestyle. Clarisse has spent many nights with Alex and another girl, not that they’ve had sex, it’s always about the other girl. “How’s things with Alivia, the press aren’t being too kind to her right now.”

  “It didn’t go down too well when she saw that. She’s not used to it and I get that but if she’s serious about this then she’s going to have to suck it up.”

  “Maybe you need to step into her world and see it through her eyes so you understand where she’s coming from. If you want everyone to believe you’ve settled down then you have to start doing the things you wouldn’t normally do.”

  He’s got a point which gives me a good idea. I pat him on the back, “Thanks Alex, good luck with the date,” I say and I head out.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Alivia

  It’s the simple things I love in life. A cup of coffee, a good magazine to read, a romance on my kindle, the odd drop of Gin and Saturday nights in my pyjamas watching my favourite romance movie of all time, Dirty Dancing. Clarisse went out to The Luxe and so I have the place to myself, this in itself excites me, it’s been ages since I’ve had a night to myself. I prop my feet up on the couch and settle back, getting comfy with a bowl of popcorn on my knee and a can of Pepsi by my side, I am set for the night. A knock at the door has me sighing. It will be for Clarisse so I ignore it, pressing play on my movie. A second later the knock comes again. I groan, pausing the movie and placing my bowl of popcorn on the table I head to the door. Peeping through
the spy hole I see Vass, my heart rate picks up. I look a mess. My shorts are immature with paw prints on them and my vest top has a puppy on it. My hair is a complete mess, tied up on my head.

  “Come on Liv, let me in, I know you’re in there.” I roll my eyes, the guy has a sixth sense or something. I open the door and he smiles. His spicy aftershave smell, ignites the butterflies in my stomach and I stand there nervously.

  “What are you doing here? Clarisse is at The Luxe.”

  “I came to see you,” he says with a smile.

  “I’m having a lazy evening, is it important?” He laughs and walks past me, heading to the sitting room. “Vass you are totally crashing my night in.” I watch as he settles himself down on the couch and grabs my bowl of popcorn. He reaches for the remote and presses play on the film before smiling at me and patting the empty space next to him on the couch. “I thought you preferred your kinky nights over nights in.”

  “Kinky nights,” he repeats with a smirk. “Being honest, I’ve never had a night in watching films.” My mouth falls open in shock and I drop down next to him.

  “Wow, you haven’t lived. So you haven’t watched Dirty Dancing?” I ask, he shakes his head, popping a mouthful of popcorn in to his mouth.

  “No but it sounds like my kind of film,” he winks.

  We watch the entire film without speaking, Vass is entranced by it and watching him makes me smile. I can’t imagine not ever watching these old classics, I grew up loving this film. Every so often his knee brushes mine and I feel like a love-struck teenager again. When the subtitles role he looks to me, “I get why girls want the fairy tale. You all watch this make-believe bullshit,” he says.

  “Vass Fletcher do not pretend that you didn’t like it. I saw you blink away tears when Johnny had to leave her.”

  “Please, any man would have been grateful, trying to win over her father was a pain in the ass.”

  “But so worth it when they got to be together. Love is worth fighting for,” I say dreamily.

  “See, these films make you want things that are impossible,” he says.