Black Knight 02 - Back in Black

by Hartness, John G

  After a long moment, he finished drinking and just sat there, leaning over the girl with his forehead on her shoulder. I thought I saw a pale pink tear run down his face into the girl's hair, but Greg quickly stood up and waved her over to me. I knew it took a lot for him to fall off the wagon like that, and I really hoped I wasn't in for a long talk about feelings and other crap when we got home. Not being possessed of Greg's moral fortitude, I took a knee instantly and sank my fangs deep into the girl's carotid. The hot blood flooded my mouth, and I saw stars for a second before I got myself under control. Apparently fairy blood is a lot more nourishing than human blood, because I'd drank barely a pint before I felt completely revitalized and stronger than I had since my binge in Bobby's morgue the other night.

  I stood up, giving the girl a kiss on the forehead that left bloody lip prints just below her hairline, and looked around with new eyes at the great hall. Everything had an extra little sparkle, like the first time a nearsighted kid gets new glasses. I could smell the faintest hint of lavender in the air, and I thought I could taste a hint of it, too. I locked eyes with the Fairy Queen, and she smiled a knowing smile at me. "Did you enjoy your meal, vampire?" She asked with a tilt of her head.

  "She was delicious, Your Majesty." I sketched a brief bow, and the girl returned to her serving duties.

  "Excellent. Now the rest of us may dine while we discuss what business has brought this invasion to my lands." She clapped her hands, and an army of serving girls, all looking eerily identical to the fairy Greg and I had just fed from, came in carrying sections of wood that assembled almost without thought into a huge banquet table. Once the table was in place, Milandra clapped her hands once more, and a feast appeared in the blink of an eye. Fruits in all colors of the rainbow, vegetables that looked like nothing I'd ever seen before, and a roasted flamingo appeared from nowhere. Literally from nowhere. Milandra clapped her hands, and food just appeared.

  I sipped a nice red wine while the mortal types ate, and after the first course dishes had been cleared away, I coughed slightly and said "Your Majesty? I hate to bring this up, but what exactly did you mean by 'invasion?' We certainly have no plans for invading your...uh...realm." I finished lamely, deciding at the last minute that referring to the place as FairyLand might not be such a good idea when talking to the Fairy Queen.

  "Well, of course you have, vampire." Milandra replied brightly. "You..." she indicated Sabrina with a fork "have come into my realm uninvited, armed with weapons, as ludicrous as they may be..." I looked at my daggers self-consciously, and then decided she must have meant Greg's nightstick. Milandra gave me that quirky smile again, just a quick upturn of one side of her mouth, and went on "and you arrived in the company of two of the Sanguine, who you must know are bred as assassins, and one of my knights, whom you have obviously made a prisoner."

  I couldn't process most of what Milandra was saying because I was still hung up on the word "assassins." Apparently here in FairyLand vampires were not uncommon, and we were used as assassins. I raised my hand tentatively, and Milandra nodded towards me. "Um...Your Majesty, I think we have a little bit of a misunderstanding."

  "Obviously, vampire. For I cannot fathom what affront I have made to the human realm to warrant this ill treatment."

  "Um..." I hate it when I get tongue-tied, but I was really in uncharted waters here. "Your Majesty, we're not assassins. I mean, we are vampires, that's pretty obvious, but we didn't come here to kill anyone." Which might not have technically been true, but since I didn't know who we were going to try to kill, I figured that bit might best be left unsaid.

  "Then why have you come here, mortal?" Milandra turned to Sabrina, who apparently had been elected general of our invading army when I wasn't looking.

  "We are investigating a series of troll attacks in our world. Otto - um - Octavian led us to believe that you may be able to help us find out where the monsters are coming from, and why they are attacking changelings." Sabrina said, with a glance to Otto, who nodded slightly.

  Sabrina went on "My...a member of my family has been attacked, and we must find out why these trolls are hunting down these young men before anyone else is hurt."

  Milandra looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Well, human, while it is little concern of mine what happens in your land, I understand the importance of family." I managed not to choke when she said that, and she flashed a quick grin at me that I was pretty sure only I caught. Obviously the capricious little queen wasn't nearly the dim bulb she played. I hate dealing with women that are smarter than me. Which is most of them, if I'm being honest.

  The queen continued, "we have no dealings with the trolls in House Armelion, but I may be able to summon their master here for a...conversation, if that is what you desire."

  Something about her tone made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and looking over at Otto I could tell that there was something going on here that was most definitely not being said. Did I mention I hate smart women? Sabrina didn't catch whatever warning tone I was hearing, and just replied with "Yes, Your Majesty, we would like that very much."

  "Well, human," Milandra paused as though and idea had just occurred to her. "If it is a boon you seek from the Queen of House Armelion, then it is a boon you shall have." She was smiling way too much for me to feel comfortable, and then she dropped the other shoe. "Once you have completed your quest, of course."

  I knew it. Outsmarted by another hot chick. The last time this happened, I ended up immortal and with weird dietary restrictions. I just hoped we all survived this one.

  Chapter 15

  I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders, looking right at the Fairy Queen. "Alright, Your Majesty, what do need us to do?" I heard Sabrina gasp a little at my directness, but I figured we were down to the real deal now, so any pretense of formality could go out the window.

  Milandra chuckled a little and said, "You are wiser than you appear, vampire, not that it takes much. There is a beast that has been plaguing the western border of my lands for some years now. I would like for you to go there, and bring me its heart as proof of your success. Of course, simply returning alive will be proof enough, as none of the other heroes I have sent on this quest have ever made it back." There was that little half-smile again. I was really starting to want to smack this chick, Sabrina's relative or not.

  "Alright, Your Majesty. Would you like to enlighten me as to what kind of creature we'll be fighting, or would you rather we be surprised?" I said.

  "Oh, I wouldn't dream of having you attempt this quest without proper preparations, vampire. After all, dragon-hunting is not for the faint of heart." I didn't bother mentioning that my heart didn't really beat anymore, faint or not. I was a little hung up on the casual use of the word "dragon."

  "Excuse me, Your Majesty?" Greg asked politely. "Did you say 'dragon?'"

  "I did indeed, vampire."

  "Does 'dragon' maybe have a different meaning here than it does in our world?" He asked, hopefully.

  "In your world does 'dragon' mean a gigantic winged lizard, roughly the size of a barn, with a twenty-foot long poisonous barbed tail, a head the size of a small bedroom with hundreds of razor-sharp teeth, claws the length of broadswords and just as sharp, with breath of fire?"

  "Yes, that's pretty close." Greg said in a very small voice. "Except in our world, these are purely mythical creatures. They don't really exist." I saw a little glimmer of hope in his face until Milandra spoke again.

  "You mean fantastical creatures of the imagination, like trolls, vampires and fairies?"

  "Yes, Your Majesty, just like that." Greg looked about like I felt, which was kinda like I'd been kicked in the guts by a horse. Or a troll.

  "Well, then I assure you, Mr. Knightwood, that this dragon is every bit as mythical as you are. But do not despair, my friends, I would not dream of sending you into battle with such a creature garbed in such inadequate clothing." With that, she clapped her hands and Greg and I were suddenly wea
ring suits of silver chain mail, complete with breastplates, arm guards and plates over our shins and thighs. Helmets appeared floating in midair in front of us, open-faced things with silver wings sweeping out from the sides. I grabbed mine and put it on, and looked over at Greg.

  "I don't want to think about how much metal went into wrapping your gut, bro." I quipped, and then turned to look at Sabrina and my mouth dropped open. She looked like an over-sexed Valkyrie, with her own winged helmet, chain mail and breast plate, but where Greg and I had on chain mail leggings, she had an armored skirt that was slit up way higher than I thought was exactly practical. Her breastplate had some obvious concessions to anatomy, with a couple of vents in interesting places showing a little more flesh than I would have expected. All in all, I was pretty distracted by the image, and I figured any enemy might be as well. I was less sure about what effect her appearance would have on a huge lizard, but at least I'd have some eye candy while I was being chomped to death.

  "Um, Your Majesty?" Greg actually raised his hand. I'm gonna have to teach him to sack up one of these days, but I decided that being on our best behavior here probably wasn't a bad idea.

  "Yes, vampire?" That still bugs me. It's like people think it's a title or something. We have names, after all. We don't go around calling people "human."

  "This armor is great and all, but we're going to need some weapons, too. Don't you think?" That's when I noticed that my daggers hadn't made the transition with my clothes. Just as well, I doubt a six-inch blade would do much against a dragon anyway.

  "Of course, Gregory. Follow me, I will take you to my armory." With that, she turned and headed through a door in the side of the room that I was pretty sure hadn't existed before that second. It just reminded me yet again how much I hate magic.

  We followed Milandra down a long marbled hallway until she stopped in front of a thick wooden door flanked by two knights holding huge polearms. She gestured to the door, and it opened. With a wave of one regal hand, Milandra said "You may arm yourselves with anything you find within. Choose carefully, your lives may depend on the decisions you make here."

  I went in first, and my heart sank a little as I looked around. Racks and racks of swords, shields and armor filled the huge room, with dozens of bows, crossbows and spears leaning against a far wall. I looked around the whole room a couple of times, then looked back at Greg and said, "Hey Frodo, you see anything in a 9mm around here?"

  Greg stopped waving a battle-axe around and said, "Of course not, dude. We're in the realm of the Fae, a world of magic. There's not going to be a gun shop anywhere to be found."

  "Too bad for you, chica," I said, passing a crossbow over to Sabrina. She sighted down the length of the crossbow and set it aside, walking to the wall of bows instead.

  She picked up a short recurved bow and drew it experimentally. "This works for me. Reminds me of summer camp." She picked up a quiver of nasty-looking barbed arrows and said "I should probably stay out of range as much as possible, not being gifted with super-strength, speed or healing."

  "Good idea." I replied, hefting a huge claymore with one hand. It was a little long, but having vampire strength definitely made me able to swing the six-foot sword one-handed, even if I couldn't exactly bring it back around quickly. After a couple of practice swings I put the oversized toothpick away and picked up a shorter, thinner sword that looked like it was designed for one- or two-handed use. "This seems to suit me just fine." I dropped a wicked-looking spiked mace in a hip sheath and slid the sword over one shoulder.

  Greg strapped on a pair of broadswords, and we were about to head back out into the hallway when something caught the corner of my eye. "Hey, Sabrina, try this on." I said as I handed her a battered, plain leather sheath with a thin curved sword in it.

  Sabrina belted on the scabbard and drew the sword, slashing the air experimentally a couple of times. The blade had a slight reddish sheen to it, and the hilt fit her hand like it was made for her. "This is perfect, Jimmy. Thanks. I hope I don't get close enough to that beast to need it, but if I do, this will be just the thing." I blushed a little, which is no small feat on borrowed blood, and ducked out into the hall, almost bowling over Milandra, who stood there waiting for me. Greg and Sabrina chuckled a little and went back to arming themselves, picking out a few daggers and things to round out their arsenal.

  "Speak to me, vampire." She said, leading me a few steps down the hall. I followed, of course, because what else do you do when the Fairy Queen says to do something?

  "What can I do for you, Your Majesty?" I asked when we were out of earshot of the others.

  "Who is she?" Milandra asked, her lavender eyes doing nothing to hide her nervousness.

  "She's your cousin." I said simply.

  "I thought we were kin." The queen looked as though I had just confirmed an unpleasant medical diagnosis.

  "But you were younger than her when you were taken. And now you're...the queen." I corrected in mid-stream, remembering at the last second not to make stupid comments about a woman's age. Especially if that woman has magic and is the ultimate ruler of the dimension you happen to be standing in.

  "Time moves differently here than in your world. You will be here for days, perhaps weeks, and will return to your world only moments after you departed. I have been ruler here for some years, but in your world I would barely be considered an adult. Does she know our relationship?" This time I thought I saw real fear in her eyes.

  "No. At least, I don't think so. I noticed it right away, but I don't think she has any idea."

  "You would see it before anyone, wouldn't you?"

  "I don't think I get what you mean, Your Majesty."

  "Never mind, James. It doesn't matter in any regard. Now, you have a quest to complete, and I have a meeting with the Unseelie to arrange. If you return." She started to turn back toward the others, and I reached out and grabbed her arm.

  "Wait a minute, Your Majesty. You're still sending us...her...on this ridiculous dragon hunt even though you know she's your blood relative?" She looked down at my hand and back up at my face with a raised eyebrow.

  I didn't let go of her arm, and she answered, "I have made my decree. You require a boon of me; I require a boon of you. Trust me James, you do not wish to be indebted to the Queen of the Fae. Those debts are tied to the office, not the holder, and the next ruler of this land may not be as...friendly to your kind as I." With that, she looked back down at my hand and I let her go.

  I followed Milandra back to where the others were waiting for us. When we had rejoined the group, she said "I can use my magic to transport you to the forest where the dragon makes his lair. When you have the creature’s heart firmly in your grasp, smash this globe on the ground and stand close together. The globe will return you to my great hall. I wish you luck." She gave me a long, steady look that probably held a lot more subtext than I caught, but I just took it to mean bring my cousin back alive, and I nodded to her. Then, with a wave of her hands and a flash of pink and purple fairy dust (yes, really), we were off to slay a dragon.

  Chapter 16

  Apparently FairyLand dragons live just like you'd expect them to - in caves deep in dark forests. Because that's exactly where Milandra dropped us, right outside a cave in what looked and felt like a deep forest. The ground was carpeted with thick undergrowth, there was moss hanging from the branches, and the mouth of a cave gaped hungrily in front of us. I stood there for a few seconds getting my bearings (or my courage), then took a deep breath and marched resolutely forward.

  Only to trip over Sabrina's outstretched leg and fall flat on my face into a plant that I really hoped wasn't poison ivy. I have no idea if I can still get poison ivy since I'm dead, but I wasn't really interested in finding out. I scrambled back to my feet and whirled to face the smirking cop. "What the hell was that about?" I demanded.

  "Do you have a plan, Brainiac?" She asked.

  "Yeah. Go in the cave. Kill dragon. Carve out dragon's heart. Go back to
the palace. Eat another fairy chick. Make trolls agree to stop beating up gay men in my city. Go home. Drink beer. Did I leave out anything important?"

  "Maybe how we're going to accomplish the whole 'kill dragon' step." She said, walking around and testing low-hanging branches. "Look at the mouth of that cave. Can anything as big as Milandra described get through that opening?"

  I had to admit that it looked pretty small for anything dragon-sized. The cave opening was about ten feet tall and maybe a little wider than that. Certainly not as big as I would expect for a dragon's lair. "Okay, you've got a point. So what's your plan, General Patton?"

  "We explore the whole area very carefully, make sure there isn't another entrance or escape route for the dragon, and then plan our assault." I hate it when she's right. I hate it even more because she's always right.