Backstage (The Barter System Book 4)

by McClendon, Shayne

  “Ha! That’s bullshit.” Hearing her cuss tightened his groin. “Some people tried to shorten it to Dora and I’ve never been a fan. No one ever suggested Teddy.”

  Nodding sagely, he replied, “You’re welcome.”

  They worked together in silence, getting the space cleaned, cleared, and squared away. Drying her hands, she gave him a brilliant smile. “Thanks, Kiefer. I appreciate it.”

  “Sure thing.”

  * * * * *

  With a final wink, Kiefer wandered off to find the rest of his family and Theodora watched him go with her eyes glued to his ass.

  Under her breath, she muttered, “Damn.”

  The wildest Johannson son continued to seek her out every afternoon at the theater. He made her laugh and she cautioned herself to put defenses in place. He was good looking, charming, and smarter than he seemed to want anyone to know.

  It was useless. By the third day, she waited for him.

  A few days later, as they finished dishes and straightened up her space, he turned and leaned against the counter. The position tightened his clothing across a body meant to be appreciated like a work of art.

  She did so happily.

  “I was gonna take a cab to the hotel to clean up. How about I take you for coffee and drop you home?”

  “I don’t want to be a bother.”

  “You just fed me another ten thousand calories that seduced my taste buds and put me in a food coma. You’re no bother. After coffee, I’ll take a long nap before I’m required to think again.”

  “That would be great of you.”

  She put a sign on the fridge for the crew to help themselves to leftovers and picked up her pink messenger bag. They chatted as they walked up the block to the coffee house. He picked a table away from the window where the setting sun was brightest and sprawled in a chair.

  Her gaze was drawn to his hands. They were large and tanned with definition that attested to his physically active lifestyle. For a moment, she wondered if the palms were rough…and how they’d feel on her skin.

  “What do you do for fun, Teddy?”

  The sound of his voice startled her from her daydream. Chuckling, she replied, “I don’t do much. I watch movies, spend time with my mom, read, and cook a lot. Not very exciting, I know.”

  “Life is as excitin’ as you make it.” There was no denying the innuendo.

  “You’re right but I’ve settled into a rut. I do the same things over and over each day and changing them rarely crosses my mind.” She took a sip of her coffee, thinking. “My life is a series of lists. I make them, check them off, make another, and repeat.”

  “It sounds like you don’t really like that way of livin’,” he observed. “If you could do anything, no limits, what would it be?”

  “Taking my albinism into account, I’d write cookbooks and make food for people I love.”

  Kiefer sat up slowly and folded his arms on the table. She was fascinated by the veins in his forearms. Lifting her gaze to his, she knew he recognized her attention to his body. It was likely attention he was used to receiving from the opposite sex.

  “You’re distracting.”

  “Thank you. I’m glad you think so.” His smile was slow. “I find you distractin’ as well, Teddy.”

  The words made her laugh softly. “You are such a charmer.”

  “I’m also honest. More on how much you distract me in a minute. What’s stoppin’ you from livin’ your dream right now?”

  The change of subject took her by surprise and she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. “I hate to say…”

  “You won’t get any judgment from me. You have my word.”

  “It would be easier and safer for me to work from home eventually but I don’t now because of…my mom.” When the words were out, it felt as though a floodgate opened inside her. “I-I can’t stand being home all the time, watching her fade away, losing a bit more of herself every day.”

  Kiefer stared at her for a long time in silence. “That you can’t handle watchin’ it bothers you more than anybody would guess, doesn’t it?”

  She nodded and wondered at the amount of personal information she was sharing with a man she’d known for a handful of days.

  “I love her and seeing her in so much pain shatters me on the inside. She was always there for me. It’s horrifically selfish of me.”

  “You know, when my brother was hurt, it was bad. He almost died. Reynold is my oldest brother, the one who looked out for all of us. I love him more than I can explain.” He closed his eyes. “Seein’ him like that, broken and in constant agony, I couldn’t handle it.”

  “What did you do?” she asked softly.

  His smile was self-mocking. “I wasn’t as good as you, Teddy. I set my alarm and left the house before dawn to do chores on the ranch so I was gone when he woke up.” Pausing, he explained, “The pain meds they gave him at night always wore off and he’d wake up screamin’.”

  “That must have been awful. I’m sorry.”

  “I wasn’t used to seein’ him…helpless. It made me feel fucked up but I realized something. Reynold was Superman to me. When he got hurt, it gave me a glimpse of my own limits.” One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “No one wants to realize how fragile life can be.”

  They stared at one another for a long time. “I look at my mother and I see myself. Her disease is chronic; slow moving but devastating to her physical body. It eats her one day at a time.”

  Picking up a napkin, she blotted her eyes. “One day, I’ll be blind. My vision worsens every year. Like Mom, there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” The fears she felt when she was alone threatened to break loose and she steadied her voice.

  “There will be pain but no one will be able to see it. I will be isolated even in a crowd of people. I’m not ready to face that future so I ignore it. I wear a happy persona until it infects me and I get through my days as well as I can.”

  “I’m sorry, Teddy. Is there anything that can be done?”

  “No. I’ve known since I was a child.” She glanced toward the window. “I used to feel as if I lived in an hourglass, just waiting to go blind. When I was a teenager, I learned how to put it out of my mind. I knew if I didn’t, I’d never have a life at all.” Meeting his eyes, she added, “I’ve never admitted any of that to another person.”

  “Thank you for trustin’ me with it. I never told anyone how I felt when Reynold had his accident. All these years, that shame festered like a sore inside me. I’m glad it’s out.”

  “I don’t feel as alone. Thanks, Kiefer.”

  He patted the top of the table in a quick rhythm. “You and I are gonna be great friends.” Tilting his head at her small laugh, he clarified. “Not friend zone kinds of friends. I should warn you about that up front.”

  They maintained eye contact. “Good to know.” Folding her hands on the table, she said bluntly, “I assume there will be no strings attached? You seem like a man who enjoys your freedom.”

  For a moment, she could see that he wanted to deny it. She watched as he accepted his nature and opted for honesty. “No strings but I’ll treat you well while I’m here in New York, Teddy.”

  “I expected nothing less.” Though she admitted that she’d hoped for more. “Understand that all my friends, especially the sort of friend you’d like to be, need to get to know me first.”

  “Understood.”

  There was a long pause and then she nodded. “I rarely make friends and never one like you. You’ll be an experience I can look back on fondly. Even when my world is dark, I imagine that the memories you leave me with will be some of the brightest.”

  Her words drilled deep, hitting him hard, and she saw him begin to second-guess his decision. She wasn’t fooled in the slightest.

  “Will you be a friend who pities me, Kiefer?” Fuck that…

  His eyes cleared and he sat forward. The position of his body broadcasted how powerful he was and she wanted a taste of what a man like him off
ered…just once. She wasn’t naïve. There would be no keeping Kiefer Johannson.

  “Hell no, I will not. I’ll be a friend who’ll remind you of the fall when you were almost thirty, cookin’ food that borders on supernatural, filled with hope about the bestselling cookbooks you plan to write, and thinkin’ about gettin’ a dog. No pity, Teddy.”

  She’d take it and deal with the fallout later.

  “I’m glad. I have to get home before the nurses change for my mother.” She stood up and grabbed her bag. He moved to rise and she held up her hand. “Before you worry about me getting home safely, I was born and raised in this city. I’ll be fine.” Giving him a wink, she added, “See you when I see you, Kiefer.”

  She walked out of the coffee shop, stepped to the curb just outside and whistled sharply for a cab. One stopped in front of her in seconds and she was careful not to look back.

  Chapter Four

  Theodora waited until she was inside her little apartment set up in the basement of her mother’s house before she exhaled roughly and fought tears that didn’t have a place in the deal she’d made.

  Every word she’d said to Kiefer Johannson was true and the memories he’d leave her with would be the stuff of dreams.

  They would not come without cost.

  Whatever she had to pay to spend time in his company, she would do so willingly. Usually, virile men didn’t even see her much less consider her for a fling. It was exciting and she wanted it.

  Shaking herself, she ascended to the main level and checked on her mother. The day nurse was just packing up her things and smiled when Theodora stepped into the living room.

  “How was Mom today?”

  Alice was older, heavyset, and still seemed capable of carrying a person from a burning building. “The pain spiked again. I gave her morphine an hour ago and she’s sleeping. I called the office and the doctor is tweaking the dose. You know we only get three months.”

  Theodora rubbed her temples hard. “If only I could find one thing to give her consistent relief. Ease the pain enough to take her out, to see her laugh again.”

  “I know, honey. I’m sorry. She ate today and seemed in better spirits despite the burning and swelling in her legs.”

  “There has to be something. I’m tired of one doctor after another simply giving her pills. I think it’s time to research alternative medicine. God knows, it can’t be much worse.”

  “Just promise you won’t bring in those people who blame her pain on angry spirits. I’m willing to try anything else.”

  A humorless laugh escaped before she could stop it. Reaching out, she took Alice’s hand. “I’m so glad she has you.”

  “Theodora, you are the light of her life. Don’t sell yourself short.”

  “I don’t.” Everything she’d said to Kiefer came back to her and her heart raced in guilt. “Do you think she’ll wake up tonight?”

  Alice shook her head. “I gave her a strong dose after I spoke to the doctor and left instructions for the night nurse to do the same. We need to let her rest. She’ll be a little steadier tomorrow.”

  Nodding, Theodora murmured, “I’ll make food and leave it in the fridge.” She rubbed her upper arms to ease the chill caused by years of the silence in their home.

  The older woman stared at her for a long time. “I’ve worked with the sick for most of my adult life. Eventually, they get better or they pass. Either way, their suffering ends. You travel this road with her and will one day grieve your mother’s loss but it is not your journey. You cannot forget to live. Be happy and guilt-free, love your mother as much as you can, but don’t deteriorate with her. You’re young, Theodora.”

  Their eyes met and she wondered if Alice knew her secret. Before she could respond, the nurse held her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

  “Be happy, love if you get the chance, and I’ll care for your mother as long as she needs me.”

  Theodora gripped her in a tight hug and whispered, “Thank you.”

  She made her way back to her apartment and stared at her desk area for a long time. On it were all her notes in a carefully organized binder and above it were some of her favorite photos of recipes that turned out better than expected.

  “Maybe…”

  * * * * *

  The next morning, a knock on the outer door that lead to the street startled her from her organization of her first cookbook. She grinned when she saw the twins and their mother on the other side.

  The three women stepped inside when she opened. After exuberant hugs, the sisters were happy to wander a space they’d come to know well and gravitated to her workspace to examine what she’d been doing.

  “They have no sense of decorum sometimes. I’m sorry we descended on you, dear.”

  “I love how comfortable they are when they visit.”

  Becky pointed at the monitor that displayed her video feed from the other side of the door. “That’s impressive.”

  “I can’t use a regular peephole. Ezra had it installed a few years ago with a heavy-duty security system that took me forever to master. He and Isaiah keep the house in perfect condition for us. Sometimes, I feel like a bother but they help my mom in so many ways that I couldn’t do.”

  “They’re superb men. I see why my girls are so giddy. Trust me, you’re not a bother to anyone. You’re perfectly lovely.” She delivered kisses to both of Theodora’s cheeks. “We’d like to kidnap you for the day if you have nothin’ planned.”

  The very suggestion made her chuckle. “No plans. Make yourself at home. I’ll make coffee. The next time you come, I’ll show you the upstairs. Mom had a bad day and she’s sedated.” Clearing her throat, she held out her hand. “I converted the basement into my apartment. Not as many windows so the sun doesn’t bother me constantly.”

  “Makes sense. I love the stained glass.”

  “Thanks. I also cook and write until all hours. I’d probably bother her if I lived on the upper floors.”

  * * * * *

  Becky took her time walking the long narrow open space, broken only by support beams. One entire end was a kitchen that any chef on the Food Network would have been proud to claim. There were huge glass-front appliances, a stove with special ventilation that had two huge ovens, a broiler, and eight burners.

  There was lighting over every workspace, with muted shades to direct the light only where it was needed. The counters were dark granite, the cabinets an espresso brown, and she knew it was to control glare.

  Some of the cabinets had no doors, the wood inside painted the same color. Funky beautiful glassware stood highlighted in them. There were baskets holding fresh fruit and vegetables.

  “I have a loading door in the alley. A service picks up and drops off my catering supplies,” Theodora said. “I cook most of the food here, load it in insulated carts, and have it delivered to the theater daily.”

  “You take cabs everywhere?”

  The young woman nodded.

  There was a seating area with plush furniture draped in dark fabric. A faux fireplace sat in the corner. Thick rugs dotted the floor. She didn’t see a television but there was a high-tech stereo system.

  In the furthest corner from the exits was a king-sized platform bed constructed of dark stained mahogany. The heavy linens that covered it were various shades of brown, from caramel to coffee.

  There was a huge tapestry hanging on the wall behind it depicting a mountain scene in full sun.

  A pocket door blended so well with the rest of the wall that Becky almost hadn’t seen it. Beyond it was a neat closet laid out by color. Another door held a bathroom with a walk-in shower and separate claw-footed tub with antique taps in the center.

  A small vanity contained very little makeup and a magnified mirror. Dark green accents over tile in a muted latte lent the space an intimate feel. Theodora’s home was classic, subtle, and beautiful, much like the woman herself.

  “I adore your style. I love everything about this apartment,” Becky told her h
onestly. “You seem very comfortable here.”

  “I am. Familiarity is important. I have systems in place to keep me organized on the days I get headaches that make it difficult to focus.” She grinned. “I’m also anal retentive so there’s that.”

  “You need to bring your organizational skills to our neck of the woods. My boys are a hot mess on the best days.” Following a hunch, she added, “Though Kiefer is more together than he likes me to think.”

  Mention of her wild child’s name brought a light blush to Theodora’s cheeks.

  “Since we’re going to dinner tonight, we wanted to take you out for a few hours. The girls said you don’t get as much fun as you deserve and I agree.”

  “What should I bring?”

  “Yourself. That’s the only thing you need.”

  In less than two minutes, Becky hustled everyone out the door to a black Lincoln that idled at the curb.

  Half an hour later, they were ensconced in a private room of the spa she’d found and fallen in love with when she arrived in the city. They settled in for manicures, pedicures, and massages. By the time they made their way back to the car, all of them were relaxed.

  The next stop was a little boutique that catered to women who looked like her, short and curvy, and she knew it would be ideal for the caterer.

  The twins were in their element as they chose several outfits and insisted Theodora try them on. When they found what they considered the perfect combination, Becky paid without batting an eye, ignoring the young woman’s insistence that she be allowed to buy it herself.

  Back in the car, she turned and said, “Theodora, I invited you out to enjoy yourself and I insist that you always leave your wallet at home when you come out with us. You have no idea of the pleasure it gives me.”

  Kayla nodded. “Mama likes to make up for all the years we had to wait on new shoes and getting our hair cut in the kitchen.” She shrugged. “Best to let her pamper you and then stuff you to maximum capacity.”

  “You’re coming to the hotel to get ready for dinner,” Linn explained. “Do you need anything from home?”

  “I…no, I don’t.”