Nick downed the contents in one gulp. He placed the glass on the bar and without a word Mason refilled it. This time Nick sipped the golden liquid while Mason continued telling him exactly what he didn’t want to hear.
“She called Cooper. She was supposed to go see Tommy practice for his play today, and she said something about a dream audition that she couldn’t pass up.”
“Her and her fucking dreams,” Nick mumbled.
He loved that Daisy wanted things, that she did dream, but that didn’t mean she had to shit on everybody in the process. Why’d she even come home and stay for as long as she did? Why didn’t she just make one of her usual blue moon appearances and slip out of town before anyone knew she was home? Why’d she have to come back into his life, tie him around her dainty little finger, and drag his heart through the damn mud?
Nick put the glass down and stood. “I have work to do.”
“Nick…” Cassie said.
He held his hands up to stop her from trying to impart words of wisdom on him. The last thing he needed was someone to try and make him feel better. He wanted to wallow in his anger so he could remember exactly this feeling in case Daisy ever decided to try and walk back into his life. Fool him once, fool him twice, there was no way in hell she’d fool him a third time. As far as he was concerned, Daisy Hayes was dead.
The minutes turned into hours and eventually the anger dissipated, and he was left with nothing more than his disappointment and misery. He leaned back in his chair and thought about the last forty-eight hours. Wondered if he should have gone after her when she ran.
She kept running and he always let her. Maybe she was waiting for him to go after her. Or maybe she didn’t want to be caught at all. If she did, she wouldn’t travel three hundred and fifty miles away. Running after her would be a waste of his time.
Cassie came into his office and sat down across from him. Her auburn hair was tossed up in a messy bun, her hazel eyes looking at him with concern. The one thing he loved about Cassie was she didn’t do pity… probably because she got enough of it in her own life over the years. Right now, it was much appreciated. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to feel sorry for him. But she was concerned, and he couldn’t be mad at her for that. It was nice that someone cared about him.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked.
“Not much to talk about. She left again. End of story.”
“I honestly don’t think she knows what she wants.”
“She wants what I can’t give her, and it’s time I accept that. I can’t keep hanging onto someone who doesn’t want me. It’s time I move on like I should have done years ago.”
“Is that what you want?” Cassie asked, and the vise grip on his heart squeezed impossibly tight practically suffocating him.
“It doesn’t really matter what I want? I can’t compete with a dream audition, and I shouldn’t have to. I’m just… I’m pissed at myself for thinking this could’ve been more than what it was. Lesson learned. Again.”
“Why don’t you stop working and come have a beer with me?”
“I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather drown myself in paperwork. Rain check?”
“Sure. And for the record, I know she’s my soon to be sister-in-law, and I do really love her, but she’s an idiot. You’re a great guy, Nick.”
“If only that were enough.”
“Maybe it is. You should look at this.” Cassie placed a binder on his desk. “Harold found this at the house. Apparently, she talked to Mason about expanding the entertainment we provide here at the brewery. Mason told her we were short staffed and didn’t have the time or manpower to do it, but if she stayed he’d let her manage the whole thing.”
He couldn’t believe that Daisy never mentioned any of this to him. “Why are you telling me this?”
“When Mason suggested it, she didn’t think she was capable. Said she wasn’t a manager. Looking through this binder, I can tell you that’s bullshit.”
“I could’ve told you that without looking through this.” He tapped the binder. “I still don’t get what that has to do with us.”
“First off, after looking through this, Mason wants to incorporate some of her ideas. He wants your opinion and to see if you’d be willing to help a little as far as getting local businesses on board. There’s a lot of amazing ideas in there, and the fact that Daisy didn’t think she could manage what she’s already come up with is ridiculous, which leads me to my theory. Want to hear it?”
“Why the hell not.”
“The girl is beautiful, talented, and can make a person fall in love with her with just a smile, yet she hasn’t landed a starring role yet. Why do you think that is?”
“She said—”
Cassie cut him off. “I don’t care what she’s said. Mason looks into all the plays she’s talked about, and her name was only mentioned once.”
“She lied?”
Cassie nodded.
“But why? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It’s easier to pretend to be successful than to actually be successful. She’s scared to succeed because she doesn’t think she’s capable.”
Nick thought about Cassie’s theory for a second, and it suddenly all made sense. The reason she never stuck with anything for too long, the reason she gave up on everything, the flute, gymnastics, karate, sailing, skiing and painting… the reason she thought Dylan was better off in the care of Hadley…
It wasn’t that she was bored; it was that she didn’t think she was capable. It was like solving a mystery at the end of a book, how everything seemed to come together and make perfect sense.
“So,” Cassie said. “I don’t think it’s you. She’s probably terrified she won’t be everything you want her to be. And if she doesn’t even know who she is…” Cassie shrugged. “It’s not your fault.”
“Thanks,” he said. He didn’t want to speak to anyone, but Cassie made some really good points. It might not have fixed the black hole that Daisy kicked deep into his heart but at least now he wasn’t left wondering what he’d done wrong. She needed to figure things out on her own and there was nothing he could do.
“We’re here until five then we’re heading out. I’ll have a beer waiting for you for when you’re ready.”
“I’ll be out soon to toast you guys off.”
Cassie smiled. “Mason doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but I can’t help it, I think we’re going to win.”
That’s why Mason and Cassie worked so well—they balanced each other out. Nick thought back to dinner with Daisy, how they’d clinked their glasses together and the words that she’d said.
He thought about it long after Cassie left his office, and he kept coming back to one question.
If Daisy wanted him to find his balance then why the hell did she keep throwing his world off its axis?
Chapter 23
Daisy squinted against the bright lights from above that blared down on her. She stood in the middle of the stage, waiting to begin while the director looked down at a stack of papers with his assistant.
Her mind kept going back to the brewery and the book of ideas she’d left behind. On the train ride, she had jotted down another two full pages and even researched a few things. It helped distract her and keep her from getting lost in her doubts. She needed to be confident when she stepped on the stage, unlike all the other times when she’d let her fear swallow her whole, causing her to forget a line or stumble on a word.
She smiled thinking about all the ideas, a giddiness bounced around inside of her as she envisioned all the possibilities for the brewery. She hoped Mason would find the time and be able to hire more people so he could make it possible. It made her a little sad to think she wouldn’t be able to see it come to fruition. But it was just as well. Someone else would be able to make it the success it deserved to be probably better than she ever could.
Now without the lulling noises of the train and standing beneath the bright lights of the st
age, the fear that loved to consume her slowly started to spread through her veins.
She took a deep calming breath and hummed the Barney theme song to herself. The uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, the slight quiver in her hand wouldn’t cease no matter how many times she repeated the song.
You got this. Nick’s voice popped into her head like it always did when she needed comfort, but this time instead of comfort she felt regret. She’d walked out on him again without a goodbye. There was no way he would ever forgive her and she wouldn’t blame him. She was the worst kind of person.
But he knew that her time in Red Maple Falls was temporary. New York was always her end game. She was only supposed to go home and get herself back on her feet. With the hours she put in at the brewery, she had a little cash. Not much but more than she had six years ago. Penny said she could crash on her couch for a couple weeks.
If she nailed this audition, she’d be able to get a place in no time. It might not be in Manhattan, but she could find something in Queens or Brooklyn.
“Your name?” the casting director’s assistant asked.
Daisy ignored the fact that they had called her and answered. “Daisy Hayes.” She was well aware of the tremor in her voice. She forced down the fear of failure and focused on the crowd.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Tracy said.
Daisy closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them she transformed into the role. That was the one thing she loved about acting—for a few minutes she could be someone else, someone who wouldn’t run away from her problems and who would be brave in the face of fear, someone she wasn’t ashamed of.
The words flowed out of her and her confidence built with each new line she delivered with the perfect balance of emotion and conviction.
Her life felt like it had crumbled around her, yet she kept her focus delivering perfect line after perfect line. When she said the last word, she looked out toward the rows of seats and waited for the victory to seize hold of her but all she felt was empty.
The realization was like a bucket of ice water to the face. New York had been her dream, her life for the past six years, and now she wasn’t so sure anymore. It wasn’t just Nick either. It was everything. It took being home for longer than a few days to realize how much she missed seeing her family, reminiscing with her siblings, eating Terry’s apple, bacon grilled cheese sandwiches, and bumping into people she knew at every corner.
She also realized how much she was missing out on. Her nephews were getting so big and so quick and before she knew it they’d be teenagers, and she’d have a few vague memories from when they were kids.
What was the point of success when you had no one to share it with?
It was like a fog lifted from her mind and she was seeing the world clearly for the first time in a very long time.
The thing about home was that those ties were never fully severed. They were so deeply embedded in her mind, walking the streets of New York beside her and reminding her that a part of her would always be there, whether she was or not.
“What was your name again?” Tracy asked.
Daisy stared out at the two people who held her livelihood in their hands. They shuffled papers, not even bothering to give her their undivided attention.
“I’m sorry. Your name?” Tracy asked again.
She loved New York and didn’t regret a single thing that brought her to this very moment, but it was time to go home. She had a family there, a nephew who was counting on her, a potential job she had no doubt she would succeed at because she truly was passionate about it, and she had a man who loved her despite her flaws and who she loved with every fiber of her being.
Daisy didn’t bother answering. Instead she walked off the stage and toward the exit doors.
Broadway was her dream, but she was awake now, and she knew exactly what she wanted.
Chapter 24
With Mason and Cassie away for the competition and Daisy flaking out on them, Nick was pulling double duty and tending the bar in the tasting room until they returned. It didn’t bother him. He was happy to have something to keep him busy. Every time he had a second to think he wanted to throw his fist into a wall for being so stupid.
Daisy had always had lights in her eyes, meant for bigger and better things. Why the hell would she want to tie herself down to someone stuck living in the past? Tyler had been asking him about the house, always starting off with the infamous line, “no pressure.” It should’ve been a no brainer. Nick should sell the house and move on with his life.
He pulled out his cell and scrolled to his text messages. He typed a reply to Tyler.
Nick: The house is yours.
He stared at it for a good minute, thought about deleting it a hundred times, but finally hit send. His phone vibrated immediately with a response.
Tyler: Seriously? That’s awesome!
Nick shoved his phone in his pocket because his fingers were desperate to type back that he’d changed his mind. He’d give it twenty-four hours, and if the fear of letting go didn’t dissipate he would rescind his offer.
He greeted a couple who came into the bar and stood in front of them as they sat down. “Have you been here before he asked?”
“We have. We were here the other day and this lovely girl waited on us,” the woman said. “I can’t remember her name. Blonde curly hair, sweet as can be.”
“Daisy,” he said, her name like a knife to the heart.
“That’s it,” the man said. “She gave us a tour and we had such a great time. We’re heading back home today and wanted to stop in and pick up a few growlers to take with us.”
“I’d be happy to get that for you. Would you like a pint while I fill them?”
“I wish we could,” the man said. “But we have a long drive ahead of us.”
“No, problem. What can I get you?”
“We’ll take a growler of the IPA and the stout. Daisy had said it was going to competition.”
Nick nodded. “The owners are there right now. Fingers crossed we place.”
“It’s amazing, I’m sure it will,” the man said.
“Thank you. We take great pride in our beers here.”
“We can tell,” the woman said. “You’re all so knowledgeable, too. The tour Daisy gave us was really interesting.”
No matter how many times this woman said her name the sting didn’t lessen. He had no idea Daisy had been giving tours. She didn’t think she was capable of managing anything yet she learned all about the brewing process and the beers in no time.
He filled the growlers for the couple and handed them over. “Where are you from?” he asked as he handed them their change. As Nick helped grow the distribution, he liked to know where he had future potential to expand.
“Pennsylvania,” the woman replied.
Nick rang them up and handed them their change. “Hopefully in the next year you’ll be able to get our beer in your state.”
“That would be fantastic.”
“I’m working my magic right now so hopefully soon. I actually have a trip scheduled in the upcoming months.”
“We’ll keep an eye out for you,” the woman said.
Nick shook their hands and waved them off. One of the perks of the job was getting to meet new people. It was something he had always loved.
The door opened and he turned ready to greet a customer, but froze as his eyes settled on Daisy. For a minute he thought it was his imagination messing with him. But the longer he stared into those blue eyes he knew no vision would be able to remember such beauty in detail.
She unwrapped her scarf from around her neck, pulling it free from the wild mess of curls. She wadded it in her hand then went to step forward, stopped, then dedicated herself and moved until she was standing across from him on the other side of the bar.
Even after understanding her better, he was still angry. He couldn’t let go of the fact that she’d repeated history, walking out on him without a damn w
ord.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a dream audition to be at?” he asked, refusing to make eye contact.
“I did,” she said, still toying with her damn scarf. “But I realized something.”
He moved glasses around, anything to keep busy and to keep from looking at her. “And what’s that?”
“I never said goodbye.”
The vise around his heart tightened. He swallowed down the agonizing sting of betrayal and forced himself to meet her gaze. “Wouldn’t be the first time,” he said.
She smiled and he hated how it brightened her face and more than that he hated that he noticed at all.
“I know and that’s just it… I don’t want to say goodbye.”
His heart slammed against his chest as he took in her words. She’d told him that the reason she’d never said goodbye was because she couldn’t because if she did she’d never be able to leave. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to give him closure. He didn’t need a goodbye. He already accepted that she was gone. “Then don’t,” he said.
She let out a n annoyed breath and came closer. “No, that’s not what I mean.” Her lips parted and her fidgeting fingers found her hair, twirling a curl. “What I mean is… I don’t want this to be goodbye. I don’t want to lose you again.”
In other words, she wanted it all. She didn’t want to choose and she didn’t want him to make her. But he wasn’t going to sit around and wait for her to figure her shit out. “I thought you had something you needed to prove? I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”
She shook her head. “I thought I did. I thought making a name for myself was the only way to make amends, but after coming home I realized, like you told me with Brooke, all I had to do was apologize. The only person who cared about me making a name for myself was me.”
“You suddenly don’t care about that anymore? For how long, Daisy? A week? A month? Until you get bored again? Until you realize that whatever lies ahead scares you and you have to jump to the next damn thing because it’s easier to run? How long until you leave again? Until…”
Dreaming of Daisy (A Red Maple Falls Novel, #6) Page 18
