Becoming (Daughters of Saraqael Book One)

by Raine Thomas

  “Okay,” she said. “Is it time?”

  Before Ini-herit could respond, Skye burst out, “No! Wait.”

  To Amber’s surprise, Skye walked over to her and Gabriel. Her eyes were sad, but dry, a huge relief to Amber. She was wringing her hands together when she stopped in front of them.

  “I just…want to say…” she was staring at the ground. Finally, she took a deep breath and looked up, her gaze drifting from Amber to Gabriel and then back down to the ground. “I might not have another chance to say this. We could all forget all of this in another few minutes. I hope not, but…anyway.” She again looked up. “Gabriel, I’m so, so sorry. I was a coward. I could have cost you more than anyone should have to lose. I would have, if you hadn’t forced me to—”

  He abruptly cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug. She sobbed against his chest, and Amber caught his pained gaze over Skye’s head. She knew then with absolute clarity what had happened, and understood what the flashes of fury and helplessness she had sensed a short while ago meant.

  “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Gabriel said to Skye after a long moment. “Once you realize that, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with.”

  She pulled away and wiped her face. “You forgive me?”

  He gave her a smile. “You were brave enough to ask me for forgiveness. Why wouldn’t I give it?”

  With a hiccup and nod, she turned her ashamed gaze to Amber. “And you?”

  Raising an eyebrow, she said, “What’s to forgive? I’m here, aren’t I?”

  Amber accepted Skye’s vehement, grateful hug without flinching. She saw Olivia wipe a tear from her cheek out of the corner of her eye.

  I’m so sorry you had to go through that, she thought, catching Gabriel’s gaze.

  He didn’t respond. But when Skye pulled back and walked over to give Olivia a hug, he pulled Amber against him and kissed the top of her head.

  “Very well,” Ini-herit said, sensing that they had all said what they wanted to communicate with each other. “Join me in the center of the clearing.”

  After hours of questioning, worrying and indecisiveness about the path ahead, they all moved together without another word. Amber joined hands with Gabriel on her left and Olivia on her right. Ini-herit stood on Gabriel’s left and took Skye’s right hand, and then she linked hands with Olivia to complete the circle. Aurora sat directly in front of Olivia, her tail curled around her legs. Amber felt another surge of energy course through her. Olivia and Skye gasped. And it suddenly seemed quite right, like a moment they had awaited their entire lives.

  I love you, Gabriel, Amber thought as she sensed Ini-herit begin to open the connection that would lead them to the Estilorian plane.

  I love you, Amber. See you on the other side.

  PART III:

  Becoming

  Excerpts from the Great Foretelling:

  “And so it will be strength, courage, wisdom and faith that bring them to us. But it will be love—that of which we know nearly nothing—that will prove most vital to our future.”

  “With their coming, we will welcome a new class of being. One that can guide and teach as much as it can learn.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Amber floated. The release from her human form was smooth and painless. Although her thoughts felt quite fuzzy and nebulous, she had the sense enough to wonder what she had been so worried about. She was soaring, part of something much bigger than she had ever known. And she innately understood that she was willing to accept it because it was the path to returning to Gabriel.

  Colors whirled, rainbow hues as well as blacks, whites and grays. Every color she had known as a human and a few she didn’t even recognize. There was no sound outside of a soothing, indescribable white noise. No scent at all. There was a flying sensation, but no feel of wind or even a body against which the wind would contact. Weightlessness. She had no sense of direction, but somehow knew that she was being led where she needed to go.

  Time ceased to matter or exist. It might have been seconds or decades that she floated. Her cotton-padded thoughts couldn’t crystallize into a coherent form. One name, though, repeatedly drummed itself into her altered consciousness.

  Gabriel.

  Even in this extremely foreign state, she thought of him. As she spun through the energy suspended in the Earth’s sky, almost like a single sock in a dryer, her thoughts turned again and again to him.

  Eventually, she sensed that she was getting closer to her destination. Her thoughts grew a bit clearer. She remembered some of the details of the human life she left behind. Slowly, the memories fell back into place, one behind another, like slides in a projector. They fell one after another within her thoughts until it felt like her life was an animated film, ticking along from one frame to the next until it all became a cohesive story.

  The flickering of the memories continued until they flashed to the last frame. She stood with her hand in Gabriel’s, her last coherent thought focusing on her love for him.

  And then she was aware.

  She didn’t open her eyes immediately. Although her consciousness became aware of the fact that she had successfully made the transition between the planes, she wanted time to orient herself before she faced this new reality.

  The air was a bit stale, as though there hadn’t been a fresh breeze through in quite some time. There was an odor in the air that told her she wasn’t alone. It wasn’t ominous, but it was definitely unfamiliar.

  That’s to be expected, she thought, and tried not to focus on the fact that the scent in the air was definitely not Gabriel’s.

  There wasn’t a lot of movement around her. In fact, it seemed unnaturally still. In contradiction to the harsh starkness she sensed in the air, however, she felt a distinct softness beneath her body, as if she lay on an expensive mattress in some five-star hotel. There was an almost sinfully soft fabric against her skin, but she knew that it wasn’t the same garb she had left behind on the human plane. After all, Ini-herit had warned them that they wouldn’t bring anything with them to the Estilorian plane.

  So why did she still sense the ring on her finger?

  With this at the forefront of her awakening Estilorian mind, she opened herself even more to her new awareness.

  There wasn’t much sound where she lay, she could tell that much. Not a whisper of a voice. Not a strong breeze or even an animal making itself known. She thought that was very odd when she had initially sensed the presence of a number of other living beings around her. She detected a kind of steady reverberation some distance away. Maybe a dripping noise. But she had to acknowledge to herself that she could be interpreting the sounds on this plane incorrectly by comparing them to what she was used to on the human plane.

  Still, she reasoned as she fully released her link to the human plane and settled with a nearly palpable thud into her Estilorian form, Gabriel would help her figure it all out. She was sure of it.

  Slowly, her eyes opened. The area she was in was dim, as if underground. She took a deep breath.

  And then the air around her finally stirred. The beings she had sensed suddenly moved, turning to gaze at her as if they sensed her awakening.

  It was then that she realized that there were no less than twenty pairs of eyes staring down at her…and not one of them was familiar.

  For Olivia, the transition was turbulent. Not painful, but not smooth, either.

  The part of her mind that had held such strong aptitude for science and math and logic for eighteen years suddenly warred with this new side of her being that relied on absolutely none of those things.

  She had been given such a brief amount of time to come to some kind of terms with this part of herself. Jean had tried to teach her from the time she was old enough about things that weren’t necessarily tangible. But for Olivia, if it couldn’t be measured, weighed or proven with mathematical theorems, then she couldn’t fathom how it could be real.

  Until she had her fi
rst surge of power.

  Even then, until Ini-herit had arrived and demonstrated to her in no uncertain terms that there was far more to Olivia’s world than human math and science had led her to believe, she had been comfortable chalking up her power surge to a medical issue. As ridiculous as it was, Olivia knew she would have reacted more rationally to a brain cancer diagnosis than to the news that Ini-herit imparted at their first meeting.

  All through their travels to Alaska, Olivia questioned her sanity. Jean served as a calm point of reassurance to her, as did Aurora. In fact, it was her unexplainable mental connection with the cat that had ultimately convinced Olivia of the truth.

  And then, after meeting Skye and Amber, she had even more fully realized the legitimacy of her abilities. Actually, if it hadn’t been for their displays of power leading up to the clearing, Olivia wondered if her mind would have survived the transition. For as it was, the resistance of her human self to the experience was causing her to feel as though she might burst apart into a million pieces of disconnected energy.

  Her fear rose as the sensation of being pulled in two very different directions grew stronger. Light and color roared around her in a vortex of energy. She became disoriented. Her human thoughts grew fragmented…confused. Where did she need to go? What was she doing here?

  This way, Olaya.

  Through the tangle of her thoughts, she heard the voice. No louder than a whisper, but still compelling. The speaker used her Estilorian name and sounded male, but it wasn’t Ini-herit.

  Follow my voice.

  He’s so calm, she thought. Her heartbeat slowed. The energy around her also seemed to slow. Change its motion. Now, instead of slashing around her in a distorted storm, the energy started flowing in one direction. Toward the voice.

  Very good. This way.

  She hadn’t expected to be so cognizant of every part of the transition. And yet, it now made sense to her that she would want to analyze every part of this experience. Letting go and leaving something up to the course of Fate wasn’t in her nature. She needed to know, to experience and learn from everything around her.

  But she realized that didn’t mean that she couldn’t do this. She would just have to do it on her own terms.

  Focusing as clearly as she could, she moved in the direction that the energy flowed. It seemed to pick up speed the more that she concentrated on her goal.

  Excellent. This way. You are nearly here.

  The unknown male’s encouragement propelled her. She could do this, she realized with gathering excitement. She didn’t have to abandon the way that she thought as a human, she just had to pull that part of her over to the other plane.

  That realization brought a giddying sense of relief to her, loosening her grip on rationality just long enough that she felt her energy somehow being gently but purposefully gathered up and pulled the rest of the way.

  And the next thing she knew, she was still. No more swirls of energy. No more confusion or disorientation. Now, clarity. She felt herself lying on her left side on a firm surface. A temperate, fresh-scented breeze drifted over her, touching her head, arms and shoulders but not the rest of her, making her realize she was covered by something. She sensed a large and warm presence close to her face. Beyond her eyelids was light and awareness, but she was hesitant to open them.

  Wake up, Olivia.

  This voice was female and husky. And familiar.

  Aurora.

  Before Olivia could open her eyes to greet her feline friend, she felt an impossibly large, rough tongue rub against her cheek.

  Then her eyes flew open. Looking back at her only inches from her face was a large, white panther—and wasn’t that something?—with absolutely beautiful green eyes.

  But how…? she wondered in amazement.

  The cat issued a mental chuckle. Ini-herit said that our forms would be different on this plane. Looks like he was right.

  Transitioning was an experience that Skye had anticipated with eagerness for nearly her entire life. Unlike her sisters, she had long known about and embraced the fact that she was something more than human. Even though the specifics about her nature were a mystery to most of her friends and adoptive family members, it had set her apart from them.

  It had made her special.

  But she had not anticipated the strength and control needed to wield the latent power within her. And when it had unexpectedly surfaced, it had overwhelmed her.

  She would never in her life, regardless of her form, forget the suffering she had caused Gabriel. When they were in the forest, he had deliberately hung back in order to protect her from the wolves. That was instinctive for him. She knew that even after only spending a few hours with him. He would have died trying to save her.

  And she had repaid him by refusing to help him get to Amber after she had accidentally yanked him from the ground with her burgeoning power. She refused even when her sister’s scream sounded around them and they had both known she needed help. Skye’s fear had simply seized her. Even the utter devastation she had read on Gabriel’s face and in his voice as he cried out for Amber hadn’t given her the courage she needed to help him.

  No. Only her fear for her own life when Gabriel had pulled her from the tree had prompted her to find it within herself to use her power. And she would have to live with that dark, horrible truth about herself for the rest of her life.

  So it was with hope that she could learn from her terrible mistake that she joined hands with her sisters, Gabriel and Ini-herit and welcomed the transition. For her, this experience was now about more than just transitioning between planes. It was about learning how to control her power and, most importantly, how to stop being the kind of person who could turn away from someone in need just because she was afraid.

  She knew the moment Ini-herit made the connection with the Estilorian plane. To her, it was like a direct path of energy opened before her, leading the way. Her Estilorian self all but leaped onto the path. She chose to enjoy the moment that she had awaited for so long, welcoming the surge of energy that drew her along, doing the equivalent of cartwheels and dancing leaps as she traveled. Although she had no sense of time, it seemed all too soon she had reached her destination. And because she was so receptive to the transition, she had no ability to prolong it.

  She opened her eyes in her Estilorian form, instantly aware. Directly in front of her floated a silvery, sparkly image. She recognized the figure instantly as that of Sky Tomaganuk, the tribal elder whose passing on the human plane had occurred shortly before her arrival there.

  Welcome, Skylar.

  The thought was far clearer in her mind than it had ever been on the human plane. His face was kind, lined with age and framed by long, flowing hair. Although he was indistinct and colorless, she noticed his eyes were light blue.

  Do not focus your energy on negative thoughts, he chided, obviously sensing the shame that flooded her.

  But I have dishonored myself and our people, Qel'a.

  No, Skylar. You would dishonor yourself if you did not recognize your failings and work to correct them. You have been granted forgiveness by those you wronged. Now you must forgive yourself.

  When I’ve earned it, she vowed, and watched the image nod approvingly, shimmer and disappear from her vision. She still sensed him with her, though, and found it comforting.

  The weight that had settled on her chest in the forest suddenly felt much lighter…more bearable. As the last shimmering vestiges of her guardian vanished, she tried to get a better sense of her surroundings. Hesitantly, she lifted just her head to look around. She realized she was lying on some kind of solid cloud. It looked to her like it was nothing but mist, yet she was on top of it and floating.

  So cool, she thought, her eyes widening.

  The blanket covering her didn’t feel like any material she had ever known. It was thin and seemed to change color as the surrounding light hit it.

  “She is aware,” she heard, and turned her head quickly to
her left.

  Her eyes fell on the being who had spoken. Well…wow, was all she could think.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  According to Ini-herit, Gabriel had transitioned between the planes at least once before. Knowing that didn’t make the process any less mystifying for him in his current form than it was for Amber and her sisters. In fact, he could admit a good amount of trepidation about the whole thing. After all, he had been given no assurances by Ini-herit. What if he got to the Estilorian plane and became a living vegetable?

  Stranger things had surely happened.

  But he hadn’t been lying to Amber when he said that he believed they would be together on the other side. Their connection was so substantial to him that it felt like a vital part of his biology now. It was simply inconceivable that he wouldn’t know her, regardless of their forms.

  Still, his human nature couldn’t help but voice doubts, and he had to forcefully push them aside as he felt the flow of energy between the planes open up. His last conscious human thought was of Amber.

  Then his foothold on the reality he knew shifted right out from under him. He zipped rapidly along the swirling energy current, unable to catch a single, straightforward thought. Then came a disorienting, dizzying, tumbling sensation like falling head over heels again and again. Around him sounded a million faint voices clamoring at him, seemingly trying to pass along messages. But he couldn’t quite hear them, and none of them made any sense. Confusion overtook him.

  Images flashed like shocking pops of bright light, creating a surreal strobe effect. Centuries of Estilorian consciousness combated aggressively for dominance against less than two decades of human awareness.

  There was no contest.

  In a vague, floating, almost disinterested way, Gabriel realized that Ini-herit had lied. The Estilorian had known that the chances were nonexistent that he would be able to return to the Estilorian plane while retaining his human sensibilities. None who had sent Gabriel over to be born a human had believed that he would succeed with his quest.