A Shadow Bright and Burning

by Jessica Cluess

  Cellini appeared out of the crowd and waved at me. Two boys stood beside him, one dark-haired and one fair. They whispered to each other and followed Cellini as he came over to us.

  “Howel, you are beautiful this evening.” Cellini kissed my hand with a grand gesture. He swayed on his feet and smelled strongly of punch. A slow, contented smile stretched across his face. “Beautiful. Bella ragazza.” He muttered some more Italian, impossible to follow. I patted his arm, and Dee helped him stand. “These are my friends,” he said with a flip of the wrist. “Lovett”—the fair-haired one smiled—“and Hemphill.” The black-haired boy nodded as well. “Very fine fellows, these two. They’re Master Palehook’s Incumbents, but we mustn’t hold it against them.” He said this very slowly, waving a finger in Dee’s face as if he were making a point. “They always lose at cards. That’s so helpful.”

  Lovett and Hemphill bowed to me.

  “So you are the prophesied one, Miss Howel? Charmed to make your acquaintance,” Lovett said. He was a handsome young man, but there was something off about his smile.

  “Thank you,” I said, hoping I sounded confident.

  “Perhaps we’ll be inspired to fight in petticoats and bonnets from now on.” Hemphill laughed. “Won’t it surprise old R’hlem to see an army of sorcerers charging uphill in women’s clothing?”

  “Perhaps it won’t shock him so much, then, to see a woman leading the charge,” I said.

  “You’re going to lead us, Miss Howel?” Hemphill grinned. “That’s quite an ambition.”

  “Well, not immediately, of course.” I took a small step away from them, pressing my back into the wall.

  “Ah yes, take it one step at a time. How wise.” Lovett said. “How are you, Dee?” he asked, changing the topic. “Have you danced tonight? There’ve been no screams of pain from the ladies, so I’d assume you haven’t.” He laughed. I didn’t find it amusing.

  Dee said nothing, though his face flushed.

  “I’m grateful there’ve been no more attacks the last few nights,” Hemphill said. “It must all be down to you, Miss Howel. You walloped the old Shadow and Fog, they say. Some might think that display of strength unbecomingly masculine.”

  “Some might consider what you did unnatural,” Lovett said, hastening to add, “but we don’t think that.”

  Cellini looked drunkenly puzzled. “You boys aren’t being friendly.” He squinted at Dee. “Are they? I can’t tell; it’s all fuzzy.”

  “They’re not being friendly,” Dee muttered. Cellini left our group and staggered away, back into the crowd.

  “They also tell us,” Lovett said, stepping closer, “that you’ve brought an Unclean boy with you into the city. Is that true?”

  I bristled. “Who’s told you that?”

  “Master Palehook, of course. Everyone’s wanted to know all about you, and you’ve strangely kept so silent.”

  “So kind of you to look after anything so damaged,” Hemphill said. “I imagine the sight of it turns the stomach.”

  “See here,” Dee said, turning crimson, “why don’t you leave us in peace?” The two young men paid him no mind.

  Yelling at these fools would do nothing for me. I tried to push my way past them, but they blocked my path.

  “You’re lucky to be our chosen one, Miss Howel.” Lovett leaned close to whisper in my ear. “Otherwise, there’d be no power on earth that might persuade us to allow such a freak to live within the safety of our ward.”

  I reached out my hand, perhaps to push him, perhaps to burn him, for at that moment I felt the flames nearly on my skin. Magnus prevented it by stepping in and grabbing the two boys by their shoulders. Cellini had brought him just in time. The cretins cowered before Magnus. However jovial his nature, he could be fierce when he wanted.

  “Get out of here,” he said, his voice menacing and low. He released them, but they lingered for a moment.

  “It’s got to be such a treat for you, Magnus,” Hemphill said, shrinking back. “We all know you like the ladies. Having her down the hall must make it so much easier. You don’t need to go prowling the streets looking for it.”

  I couldn’t breathe. Magnus grabbed Hemphill by his collar.

  “Be careful how you meant that,” Magnus whispered. In that moment, he might have given Blackwood a lesson in icy intimidation. “Or I’d have to challenge you to a duel.”

  “Sorcerers may not duel one another,” Hemphill said. He sounded a bit shaky, though.

  “We’re not commended yet. We’ll fight with warded blades, and I’ll slit you down the middle. Spill your entrails along the hall and see if there’s any real blood in your veins. Now leave.” He stood aside, and the two boys slipped into the crowd.

  “They don’t like you,” Cellini said to me, yawning. “Can’t accept a lady as one of us.” He then closed his eyes and began to snore.

  I put a hand to my cheek and discovered it was still hot. Making a hushed excuse, I escaped into the foyer. Music and laughter bled through the walls as I walked toward the front door.

  I stopped at the stairs and leaned against the banister to steady myself. If that was how people behaved when they thought I was the prophesied one, what on earth would happen if they found out that I was a magician?

  No one could ever know. Ever. God, if only my lessons would improve…

  “Howel, wait.” Magnus caught up with me. “I’m so sorry. They’ve always been hideous.”

  “Do you think they’re spreading those kinds of tales about us?” I knew the value of a woman’s good name. Though the rumor was blatantly untrue, the fact that it existed could be enough to damage my reputation. And right now, my reputation was all that kept me safe.

  “I’ll tell Master Agrippa to look into it.”

  “Why did I come here? I should’ve stayed home.” I sank down onto the stairs.

  “Not all sorcerers are like them. I’m not. Dee’s not. Even Blackwood’s a better sort, and he’s as much fun as a wet hen.” Magnus glanced about to make sure we were alone, then sat beside me. “I wanted you to feel at home.”

  “I can’t feel at home here.” Because you’re a magician, and you’re lying to everyone. The voice in my head was ugly. Tears were very close now. I turned from Magnus and put a hand to my mouth.

  “What is it?” His voice was gentle. He put a comforting arm around my waist and took my chin in his hand. Turning my face to him, he said, “You can’t let them frighten you.”

  “I’m not frightened of them.” I began to shake. He leaned in close, speaking softly.

  “Something’s been wrong since the night Korozoth attacked. It’s eating away at you.” His voice was soothing. “I know watching that little girl die was horrible.”

  Part of me wanted to bury my face against him, to tell him everything. The sane part of me knew that such a thing was impossible. Why did I have to lie to people who were so good to me? What type of person did that make me?

  Breathing deeply, I told as much of the truth as I could. “I’m afraid I’m not what everyone needs.”

  Magnus took my hand. “You are. You will be.”

  His touch was warm. His gray eyes glowed in the dim candlelight of the hall. He had a confident smile, the kind that indicated he had never known defeat. The kind that promised he could protect me from whatever dangers lay ahead.

  I felt the faintest charge, like the air before a lightning strike. Magnus tightened his grip on my hand.

  Dimly, I remembered that there was a rumor going on about me. Even though we were alone, it was risky to sit with Magnus’s hand in mine. I pulled away from him gently.

  “I suppose my nerves got the better of me. Go back to the dancing. I’m sure Miss Whitechurch is looking for you,” I said.

  “Are you certain you’re all right?”

  “I could use a moment to catch my breath.” I stood up and patted my hair. Magnus rose with me.

  “Your problem is you’ve had one cup of punch all evening. Life’s so mu
ch better when your head is fuzzy. Aristotle said that.”

  “No, he didn’t.” I laughed. Magnus left. Alone, I closed my eyes to compose myself. I had to put a smile on my face and return to the room, or people might talk.

  A sigh turned my head. Palehook came down the stairs, a punch glass in his hand. He eyed me over a pair of spectacles.

  “Miss Howel. Are you distressed?”

  More than he could imagine. But I could have at least one frank conversation with him.

  “I would prefer you not talk to people about Rook.” I wanted to snap at him, but I must be polite.

  “You are a topic of great conversation. Cornelius made a grave error in keeping you locked up. In the absence of anything factual, gossip is unavoidable.” He traced a slender finger around the rim of the punch glass. It made a faint ringing sound. “Were you my Incumbent, the situation should have been handled differently.”

  “Regardless, please don’t discuss me, Master Palehook. Not with your Incumbents or anyone else. I spoke with two of your boys just now, and they were exceptionally rude. People might think you don’t want me to be commended.” I turned to walk away, but he stepped before me.

  “That is an unfair accusation, Miss Howel. I stand with you in the service of my country.” He seemed to be telling the truth. I heard the firmness in his voice. “My only desire is to send the Ancients back to whatever hell they came from.”

  “That’s good to hear. I was afraid you’d pledged your loyalty to the memory of Gwendolyn Agrippa.”

  Palehook smirked. “I must acknowledge you as the chosen one. But I do still revere Miss Agrippa. She was a steadfast servant of the Order. She knew our ways.” He bowed to me. “She knew her place.”

  He walked away, his coded threat lingering in the air, leaving me chilled.

  The next day, Palehook arrived to observe a lesson. The butler announced him into the garden, where we’d all gathered to work. Agrippa believed that time out of the obsidian room would calm me, but it wasn’t playing out as he’d hoped. All my attempts to create a maneuver ended with me dumping a bowl of water onto somebody’s head. Poor Dee, still dripping, pretended he didn’t mind.

  “What’s he doing here?” I whispered as Magnus fetched another seat. Palehook chatted with Agrippa over by the roses, swatting at some unseen insect.

  “Just don’t set fire to anything you’re not supposed to,” Magnus whispered back. We stood in a line while Palehook eased himself into a garden chair and shielded his face from the sun with a paper fan.

  “It’s a hot day,” he said as he helped himself to a cup of tea. “Why are you outside?”

  “Some require the extra space,” Blackwood said. He didn’t mention my name, but Palehook instantly looked to me. Damn.

  “Really?”

  “Just polishing a few details,” Agrippa said with a concerned glance.

  “Proceed,” Palehook said.

  “I think we’ve had enough commendation practice,” Agrippa said. “Time for some dueling. We’ll be using water. Howel, Blackwood, you’re up first.”

  I knew his plan was to get me out of the way as fast as possible, so Palehook wouldn’t sit there in anticipation. Blackwood and I took our places in the center and bowed to each other.

  “Give me a moment to start,” I whispered. We stepped apart and bent our knees. The beginning was always difficult, like mentally lifting a sack of bricks, but after that—

  A blast of water struck my chest. I cried out as Blackwood called the water back and then sent it toward me again in a rocketing mass. Shielding myself with a thought, I fell to a knee. The attack sprayed over my ward. I stood, anger spurring me on.

  The water in my bowl splashed into the air, and shards of jagged ice formed. I’d actually done it. With a triumphant cry, I slashed over and over. The ice shot forward.

  Blackwood crouched, spinning his stave. My attack slowed and the ice liquefied back into water. He’d taken control of my weapon. Panicked, I tried to regain the element.

  Blackwood leaped into the air and swirled the water into a six-foot-tall spout. I screamed as the funnel bowled me over. For a moment, I struggled beneath it. I felt like I was drowning. Blackwood released the spell, and I lay on the paving stones, soaked to the skin and coughing. He offered a hand to help me up. I almost bit him.

  “Excellent, Lord Blackwood. That was…original stavework, Miss Howel,” Palehook said. He turned to Agrippa. “You’ve such unorthodox ways of training.”

  “I’m not certain I agree,” Agrippa said. I could hear his embarrassment.

  If Death had come for me at that moment, I’d have hugged him in relief.

  While Wolff and Lambe fought the next duel, I pulled Blackwood to the edge of the lawn and hissed, “What was that?”

  “I won the duel.”

  “You made me look foolish in front of the Masters.” I wrung out my sleeves as best I could.

  “You accomplished that on your own,” he snapped. He applauded as Wolff struck the winning blow and said, “The Masters have a right to see your inconsistencies. You go from transforming water to ice in midair, one of the most difficult spells, to not knowing how to shield yourself from the simplest attack.” He scratched his chin. “It’s so strange.”

  “So I’m not allowed a mistake?” I shifted nervously. Did he suspect the reason for my uneven performance?

  “I’d allow a thousand if you improved, but if anything you’ve gotten worse.”

  “Perhaps if you helped instead of flinging insults, we’d find a way to prepare me in time to be commended,” I whispered. Blackwood crossed his arms and regarded me with a look of smug satisfaction. “Have I said something amusing?”

  “All you care about is securing your own position,” he said. “The responsibility means nothing to you.”

  How could I argue? What he said was painfully true. Though that didn’t keep me from stepping behind a rosebush and cursing his name.

  As Palehook was leaving, he bid me to speak with him. “Your performance is original,” he said, unsmiling.

  “We’re working to steady my powers. I think we’re making great progress,” I said, a lie.

  “Indeed. Master Agrippa continues to have hopes for your improvement.” He nodded. “I must admit, my confidence begins to wane.”

  When he had gone, I went alone into the obsidian room and summoned my flames. I stared at my burning reflection in all eight walls. The fire whispered over my skin, its touch comforting as I stretched out my arms and tilted back my head. This was all that my power was good for.

  Sometimes I wished that I could actually burn.

  —

  THE NEXT DAY, I WAS HEADED down the stairs toward the library when I heard them talking. The voices echoed out of the dining room, and I would have moved on had I not heard Agrippa say, “She might not be the prophecy.”

  It’s a miracle I didn’t tumble down the last few steps. I went to the door, open just a sliver, and listened to Agrippa rage at an unseen person.

  “He didn’t come out and say it, but it was implied. I don’t know what Palehook means to accomplish.” There was the sound of a fist striking a table.

  “Perhaps he’s simply stating his mind?” That was Fenswick’s voice. I peered inside. The hobgoblin stood on the table, four arms crossed over his chest. “Perhaps it’s true. How bad is she?” He twitched his left ear.

  I wanted to run away. Agrippa shook his head as he stepped into view. “She’s trying. God help her, I’ve never seen anyone try harder.”

  “That’s all well and good, but trying’s not the same as succeeding.”

  “If she isn’t training, she reads in the library. Last week I found her slumped in a chair, asleep with a book in her lap. She’s a wonderful student.” Agrippa paced back and forth, in and out of my line of sight.

  “I’m sure she can outread the best of us, but that’s not the point. She’s not good.” Trust Fenswick to be blunt.

  “No,” Agrippa whisp
ered. My corset pinched me. I couldn’t breathe. He sat down at the table. “I don’t know why this is happening. After Korozoth, I was so certain.”

  “Were you overhasty?” Fenswick sounded gentle. “Perhaps she’s not the one you need after all.”

  I didn’t wait to hear the reply. In my hurry to get away, I stumbled against the door, pushing it open. Agrippa caught my eye and called my name as I fled.

  Porridge in hand, I threw open the training room doors and faced my reflection in the black glass walls. I would perform the maneuver for fire right now, and perfectly. Lighting my hand, I swirled the flame into the air, where it formed a floating orb. Good. Now to transform it into a vortex.

  I swung and spun myself around the room, getting every movement and gesture exact. But I couldn’t make the fire transform, even a little. I hacked away at the air until my arms tired and I broke into a sweat, cursing under my breath. I caught sight of myself in the glass. I didn’t look like a sorcerer. With my hair coming undone, I looked like a madwoman.

  Cursing, I threw Porridge into the air and the fire exploded. Embers and ashes rained to the floor.

  There was a knock. Agrippa entered, a sad expression on his face. I couldn’t bear the sight of it.

  “I’m sorry I’ve disgraced you,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to fail in front of Master Palehook.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for.” His voice was warm with anger, but not at me. “Palehook should never have said such things.”

  “He wants the prophecy to be realized. He must believe we’ve made a mistake.” And we have made a mistake, I thought. Haven’t we?

  “Augustus doesn’t like to share power. This is my fault.”

  “Yours?”

  “Palehook applied to the Order immediately after we came to town. He wanted to train you himself.”

  “What?” I was nearly sick at the idea. Living with that man? “They’d have had to drag me into his house.”

  Agrippa smiled. “He may have seven daughters, but I don’t think Augustus is an ideal teacher for a young woman, which you most certainly are. Are you all right?” He sounded alarmed. I’d begun shivering hard enough to make my teeth chatter.