A Shadow Bright and Burning

by Jessica Cluess

  “You saved me,” I said.

  “We saved each other. Always have.” He smiled. It was him, just as he’d always been. No, not quite. The more I looked, the more I realized something was different, though I could not tell…

  The boys entered to embrace me and gather around the bed. Magnus and Blackwood stood by Rook’s side, talking with him. Wolff and Dee each shook my hand before moving to pay their respects to Rook as well. They were all smiles and acceptance. I sat down, my knees weak with relief.

  “Very well done,” Lambe said. He stood before me and placed his hand on my hair, almost like a blessing. “You were brave.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Just take care about the woman.” His eyes got that glazed, half-asleep look. “She got out of the fire. You must keep her away from the wood.” He patted my head and went to join the group.

  Another vision. Sighing, I rubbed my eyes. It could wait till tomorrow.

  I felt a pull at my skirt. Fenswick, huffing and puffing, motioned me out the door. Embarrassed for having forgotten him, I carried him into the hallway.

  “Henrietta, I need to tell you something,” he said when we were alone. “It’s about Rook’s scars.”

  “Yes, he has new ones from the battle.”

  “Well, that’s just it. They seem to be overpowering him.” The hobgoblin stroked one of his ears and stared down at it, not meeting my eyes.

  “How do you mean?” I asked, careful.

  Fenswick sighed. “I’ve known what his powers are for some time. For both your sakes, I’ve held my tongue, but now they’re getting worse.”

  “You’re wrong. Rook was in control. He battled Korozoth, for heaven’s sake!”

  “Rook taking control doesn’t mean what you wish it did, not according to my examinations. He’s learned to master a certain amount of power. Additional scars will mean additional strength. The more he takes control, the more he changes.”

  “Changes?” My voice sounded hollow.

  “There are subtle differences now, in the eyes, in the ears. So long as he was safe in Yorkshire and his powers lay dormant, he was mostly a normal boy. He is in a state of transformation now, becoming less human.”

  “No.” I put my hand on the wall to steady myself. I hadn’t come so far, pulled both of us through so much, for this. “Korozoth’s dead. He can’t hurt Rook anymore.”

  “Hmm.” Fenswick tucked all four of his hands behind his back. “We know that sorcerers may bestow powers upon their chosen human servants. Who’s to say the Ancients can’t do the same?”

  Was that the purpose of the Unclean? If they were receptacles of power…His abilities lay dormant. He’s transforming. I brought him here. I forced him to come. “We’re going to help him.” I clenched my jaw.

  “It’s beyond all my medicine,” Fenswick said. He patted my hand. “I think it would be kindness to, well…”

  “End it?” As though Rook were some rabid animal to be taken into the yard and shot. I grabbed hold of his paw. “You and I will work together. I don’t care what it takes, we’re going to stop this transformation. No one else can know.”

  “You’re asking me to put us all in danger.”

  “I’m asking you not to give up on him so soon,” I said, my voice shaking with desperation.

  Fenswick considered this, removing himself from my grasp. “He’s a good boy. I would hate to destroy him. But if he cannot be brought back,” he warned, “if his suffering grows too great, I’ll tell the Order, and they will end his pain.”

  “Agreed,” I whispered. “But first we try.” I wanted to fall to my knees. Not this. Not more pain, and not now. “I wonder if you might clear the boys out, doctor. I’d like to stay with him awhile.”

  “Naturally.” Fenswick waddled in, yelling, and a moment later shepherded everyone from the room. Lambe carried him out, petting his right ear.

  Rook seemed so small in the bed. Alone, I sat beside him again.

  “Are you well, Nettie?” He smiled. He didn’t know. He wouldn’t know.

  “Yes.” I sounded strange, even to myself.

  Rook said, in a more subdued tone, “When I’m healed, I plan to leave this place.”

  I startled. “What? Why?”

  “You don’t need me. You’ve great new work to do, and…new friends. I’ll hold you back. I can find work—”

  “You have to stay with me, Rook. Please.” Tears spilled down my cheeks.

  “It’s not proper.”

  “Who’s to say what is proper? I already live outside of society’s good opinion. How much more damage can this possibly do?”

  He laughed. It looked as if he wanted to agree, but then he said, “You have Mr. Magnus—”

  “Magnus means nothing to me, not in that way.” My voice almost failed. “You are the most important person in my life, and you’ve always been. Please don’t ever leave.” He placed my hand over his chest, so that I could feel his heart, a soft and steady beat against my palm.

  “I won’t go if you don’t want me to.”

  Not tonight, not tomorrow, not a year or twenty or fifty years from now. My shoulders shook. Why should love be so painful?

  “You know I’d hate to ever leave your side,” I said.

  “As you wish, Henrietta,” he murmured. I leaned my forehead against his. His breath caught, and we drew nearer…until the darkness at the corners of the room began to close in around us. Instinctively, I flinched. The shadows vanished. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “It always seems to get in the way.”

  “Yes.” I wore a false smile. In his eyes, I recognized the change I’d noted before. The irises were pure black. No blue at all. There are subtle differences now, in the eyes….

  Someone cleared his throat. Magnus watched from the doorway. “They sent me to tell you there’s a messenger. The queen has summoned you. It doesn’t look dangerous.” He appeared to have heard everything. I didn’t care about that. At least, I couldn’t. Not anymore.

  “Thank you. I’d like to wash up, but afterward I’ll go directly.” I squeezed Rook’s hand and left the room, brushing past Magnus on my way out the door. A moment later, I heard his footsteps behind me. He looked determined.

  “What is it?”

  “Howel, you don’t understand—”

  “Yes, I do. You came back for me when most others would have left me to rot. You’re my dear friend, as you’ll always be.” I emphasized the word friend. I held out my hand to him, praying it remained steady. “I hope you’ll invite me to your wedding. I want you to be the brother I never had.”

  I already regretted this. That didn’t make it any less right.

  He stared at my hand for a moment, as if he didn’t know what on earth it was. Slowly, he took and kissed it. “I’d be honored to be that close to you, Howel.”

  “Thank you,” I said. He held on for too long. Then he kissed my hand again. That tingling warmth spread throughout my body. I wanted…

  No. This had to stop. I tried to politely slip away, but he held on. There was a determined look in his eyes.

  “I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t let you go.”

  “You will.” I yanked out of his grasp. “Or we won’t see each other again.” I walked off, feeling sick to the core of my being. If he felt half as awful as I in that moment, he was sorry enough.

  —

  THERE WAS NO FANFARE, ONLY A servant who led me down dark halls to a large room. My heart was pounding despite my best efforts to remain calm. After all, if the queen wanted me dead, she wouldn’t have allowed me to have Blackwood and Fenswick as escorts, though they’d been instructed to remain in the front parlor. I just hoped I’d got all the soot off me.

  I was shown into a small receiving chamber. On the far side of the room, Queen Victoria sat in a chair before the fireplace, her dog in her lap. She looked very small and young now that she had removed her jewels. She smiled when I entered.

  “Sit, Miss Howel.” I did. “We…that is, I
know what you’ve done tonight.”

  “I’m glad that I was able to stop Korozoth, Your Majesty.”

  “Lord Blackwood came to see me straight after the fighting and explained how the ward happened to fall.” Would she now blame me for the trouble in the first place? “It grieves me that Master Palehook could have abused my people and my trust so shamefully.” She stroked her little dog’s head. “Even if I could replenish the ward, I would not.”

  “So Your Majesty isn’t angry?” I twisted my hands in my lap.

  “No. I’m pleased, both with the destruction of one of the great Seven, and what I’ve learned of your people.”

  “My people?” The sorcerers? The magicians? I felt no surge of belonging to either.

  “The sorcerers have been left to their own devices long enough. They behave as if they are sorcerers first and Englishmen second.”

  “They’re not my people, Majesty. My father was a magician with a talent for fire. Howard Mickelmas did teach me how to pass for a sorcerer. I was prepared to accept your commendation and lie to everyone.”

  “Your confession is good to hear, Miss Howel.” Now the guards would arrest me. “Your honesty makes a strong case for your integrity. I need that on the front lines.”

  “Even if I’m not the prophesied one?”

  “I’m not sure I ever had tremendous faith in that idea,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

  “But I’m not a sorcerer.”

  “You use a stave. You employed many sorcerers’ techniques in Korozoth’s destruction, so they tell me.”

  “Hargrove—that is, Mickelmas—told me that I was a cross between the two races. Magicians are descended from sorcerers, after all. I belong nowhere.”

  “Then it seems you may choose your own path,” the queen said. What a strange and heavenly idea. “But I warn you that you have an irrevocable decision to make. I recognize you were born a magician and may need to control those aspects of yourself, but if you become a sorcerer, you must turn your back on a magician’s label and life.”

  My mouth went dry. “You’ll commend me as a sorcerer, Majesty?”

  “If you wish. It will come with the privileges of that rank, but the responsibilities as well.” She drew herself up by every royal inch. “I mean to send us on the attack. We will retake Canterbury from the Vulture Lady, we will destroy Nemneris and preserve our coasts, and we will march through the midlands and the north until we come to R’hlem himself. And we will finish him, before this war drags on further into its second decade.” I could hardly contain my astonishment—or delight—at her words. “You will be a part of my plans, should you choose this path.”

  “Are you certain this is a wise decision?” God, what was I saying, challenging the queen? She smiled.

  “My advisors are against it, but they were led astray by Master Palehook, and even old Agrippa.” Sadness tinged his name; she could believe it no more than I. “They tend to look suspiciously on any woman who dares to challenge their authority.” The edge in her voice couldn’t be mistaken. Perhaps she understood my situation better than I imagined. “I feel we must try what has not yet been attempted, and you have given us the first clear hope of defeating these monsters in eleven years. Now, Miss Howel, have you made your decision?”

  What did I want for myself?

  As a magician, there would be the possibility of learning more about my past, about my father. But my work would be outlawed, and my influence in this war would be less. As a sorcerer, I would be on the front lines, but I would look behind every step of the way, in case an enemy from my own camp planted a knife in my back.

  But I had friends now. And above all, I had to help Rook. There was only one path that would allow me to stop his transformation.

  “I choose to become a sorcerer, if Your Majesty wills it.”

  “Kneel.”

  I did as commanded. “Your Majesty. I am your humble servant. I seek your royal commendation to take up arms against England’s foes, and to defend Your Majesty’s life with my own.”

  She placed a delicate hand on my hair. “I grant my commendation, Henrietta Howel, that you will take up arms in my defense, that you will live and die for my country and my person, and that your magic shall find its greatest purpose in the service of others. Rise and be known.” I stood again and towered over the queen. Tiny as she was, I bowed my head to her as my leader.

  “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

  She smiled. “In time, I believe I will have you to thank, Miss Howel. We will all have you to thank.”

  Ten days later, not too long after my more public commendation before the court and the Order, I wandered Agrippa’s garden, trying to grab a moment’s peace. There had been many parties and celebrations lately, what with Korozoth’s destruction, but I couldn’t enjoy any of them. The Queen was taking more of an interest in sorcerer affairs. And I was responsible. People who had claimed to be my allies snubbed me. I often felt alone when I went out in public.

  There was one friend, however, I could always rely upon. “Howel, wait,” Blackwood called as he came over to me. I smiled to hear my plain surname from his lips at last.

  “So I am a sorcerer now, my lord?”

  “Yes. You may as well start calling me Blackwood. No need to stand on ceremony.” He proceeded with me about the grounds, stopping to admire the red roses in bloom. He plucked one and handed it to me. “Your seal, sorcerer Howel.”

  “It would have to be on fire to be truly mine.” I laughed. My official house sigil was a burning rose. I liked it, though Eliza had been upset by the lack of unicorns.

  “Have you any plans for where you’ll go now?” Blackwood asked. “Master Agrippa’s house will be closed soon.”

  “I had planned on receiving my orders and going from there.”

  “You can take orders while living with me. If that suits you?” he asked, with a quick glance. “I know you don’t have any money of your own. Eliza would love another lady in the house. Rook would come, too, of course.”

  “Thank you for keeping silent about him,” I said. “I swear you won’t regret it.”

  “I protect my friends.”

  I smiled and took his arm. My dear friend, Lord Blackwood. Two months ago those words would have been impossible. “I accept. Where will the others go?” I thought of Magnus for a moment and hastened to quash the thought.

  “Most of them will stay with their families. Wolff will rent rooms. Still, no one should get too comfortable. They say we’ll be deployed to Cornwall before the month is out. Nemneris is our primary concern now that Korozoth is dead.”

  “I hope I prove equal to the task.”

  “Do you think you won’t?” He stopped, surprised.

  “Blackwood.” It felt strange to say his name. “I was born a magician. I’m still a woman doing men’s work. Suppose it is too much for me? Suppose I do go mad, like Gwendolyn Agrippa?”

  “Women aren’t the only ones who can be swayed by dark choices,” he said. “You are stronger than you can imagine. I see it. In time, you’ll see it, too.”

  We would have continued our walk, but Lilly stopped us as she ran out into the garden.

  “Miss Howel! There’s something you ought to see!” She half dragged me into the house. “It’s in your room. I was packing up odds and ends, and there it was. Oh, miss, I daren’t go near it.”

  There on my bed sat Mickelmas’s wooden chest. “How did it get here?” I whispered.

  “I’m sure I don’t know, miss. It appeared right out of thin air. It started—ah, there it is again!” Lilly cried as the chest rocked back and forth on its own, bouncing atop the bed.

  Blackwood tried to open it but couldn’t. “I should blast the thing,” he muttered, removing his stave.

  “Wait.” I brushed him aside and laid my hand on the chest. It stilled beneath my touch. I knocked once, just to see what would happen, and the lid swung open. Inside, we found a single plain, folded piece of paper.

  “What o
n earth does it say?” Blackwood asked as I took up the note. Written in an elegant, spidery hand were these words:

  Never what you want,

  ever what you need.

  Until we meet again.

  —M.

  “It’s from Mickelmas.” So he was alive. I sighed in relief. “But it’s a magician’s box. I can’t keep it.” I threw the note into the chest and slammed the lid.

  “Perhaps you should,” Blackwood murmured. “Normally I’d say caution is a virtue, but we need to know why it’s come to you.”

  “What if someone sees?”

  “No one has to know about it except the three of us.” Blackwood turned to Lilly. “What if I asked you to come into service at my house as Miss Howel’s lady’s maid?”

  He wanted to keep her near. For my part, I would be glad of another friend.

  “Yes, m’lord. I’d like that ever so,” Lilly said.

  “You won’t speak of this to anyone?”

  “Speak of what?” She batted her eyelashes in innocence.

  “Nothing.” Blackwood smiled. “You can pack Miss Howel’s things later.” Lilly left, and we returned to staring at the chest. “We’ll keep it with us until we decide what’s to be done.” It was odd and touching to hear him so involved in my affairs.

  “You’re putting yourself in danger, you know.”

  “These are dangerous times. Speaking of, I need you to help me choose a new headmaster for Brimthorn. I hear the old one is untrustworthy.”

  “I might have one or two recommendations.” I laughed. He helped me slide the chest beneath the bed. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

  “I told you that I would always give my allegiance to the prophesied one,” Blackwood said as we left the room.

  “I’m not the one.” There was still relief in saying it. “You know that.”

  “Well, as I said, we need you. The rest is titles. How important is a title, really?”

  “Not important at all,” I said.

  We turned back out to the garden, to enjoy the last of the July afternoon’s sun. We would have to hurry. Night was coming, and there were traces of a storm on the wind.