Rock Star's Angel

by Lydia Cole

  I wasn’t very good at apologies, but I needed to keep the peace or I’d never be able to finish their album.

  “Lu-Lu, come see,” Johnny called as I walked past his office.

  I stopped and walked backward into his office, spinning and slouching into a chair. “I don’t wanna.”

  Johnny smiled. “It’s pretty simple, Lucy. Two words: I’m. Sorry.”

  I sighed.

  “That’s not what I wanted, anyway. What I wanted to tell you is that your tour is set. Sterling just called me. The first one is here, in L.A., June 2nd. Then, it’s pretty organized all around. South first, where it’s nice and hot, then up the coast and back across the northern states. There’s a few that are sort of out of the way, but there’s enough time in between that it shouldn’t be too bad.”

  I nodded, taking the print out he handed me. “Super fantastic,” I commented with absolutely no enthusiasm.

  “And Reluctant Angel will be your opening act.” He frowned when I groaned. “Did Jack spend the night?”

  I nodded.

  “Then why are you so down?”

  I chuckled quietly, then got up and headed for the door. “You don’t want to know, old man.”

  I had a very open relationship with my father. He knew Jack and I had this friends-with-benefits thing going on. He also knew I was usually in a good mood for a while after the benefits. I was definitely not going to tell him that Jack didn’t pull through for me last night. And I was definitely not going to tell my father that I had to fake it just to get to bed because I was tired of trying.

  And what’s worse was that Jack was pulling out all the moves that usually got me on the spot. But instead of being able to concentrate on the hands and lips all over me, I just kept thinking about how he wasn’t quite as good of a kisser as a certain someone else.

  I groaned in irritation as I walked down the hall. I made it to the kitchen and was surprised when I didn’t see any of the guys in there. I frowned, then headed for the recording room we had reserved. They were already there, going through the song we were scheduled to record.

  I sat down in the chair, amazed. Ben caught my eyes first, motioned for the other guys to stop, and sent me a small smile. Hayden flat out refused to look at me.

  I clicked the intercom on. “Wow, guys. Wow.”

  Nate shrugged. “What can we say? You’ve inspired us with your dedication.”

  “Well…” I glanced at Hayden, but he was studying the tabs in front of him. I knew it was a ploy. He didn’t even use the tabs. He was a memorizer. He was wearing a fitted white shirt this time. The collar was up and he looked incredibly dreamy. I was such an idiot. It was like I was trying to sabotage whatever this thing we had going on between us. “Hayden…”

  He cut me off quickly. “Later, Lucy. Let’s get this done with.”

  I bit my lip, but nodded and gave in. I missed his usual cocky attitude toward me. I even missed his cheesy-one-liners.

  The only thing I could think, as they started the song, was that it was the second time he’d called me by my first name and not some pet name. And it wasn’t one of those endearing tones. Needless to say, I was off. Way off. I kept drifting in and out. The guys were pretty much controlling the whole thing themselves. After thirty-minutes of pure insanity, I shook my head and stood up.

  “I need a break. I…” I glanced up at three sets of concerned and confused eyes. Hayden still wasn’t looking at me. I wished those gorgeous-green eyes would pierce my existence. But they didn’t.

  I didn’t even bother to finish the sentence. I just walked out and headed for the back yard.

  Johnny had built the gardens behind the studio with the intention of giving himself a nice picture when he looked out the window in his office. It had gone from large to ridiculous quickly, though. Most things did that when Johnny took over. More than one cheesy music video had been shot in those gardens. I roamed over to my favorite area and sat on a bench, surrounded by the strong smell of roses.

  “Is this a private party?” Ben walked up, eyes cautious.

  “No.” I patted the bench next to me. “What awful things has he said about me?”

  Ben sighed. “Hayden hasn’t said a damn thing since last night. I had a feeling something happened, but I never imagined it had to do with you.” He turned and looked at me. “Did something happen?”

  “Yeah. I snapped. I shouldn’t have. I was upset and going over parts of my life that I’m not particularly proud of and I took it out on him because he was there.” I sighed and put my face in my hands. “I’m so freaking bad at apologies.”

  “Well, practice makes perfect,” he offered softly.

  I sighed, pulling my legs up and dropping my forehead onto my knees. “I know I’m over-dramatic and I get carried away, but that’s just me. That’s just how I am. Johnny says I inherited my mother’s passion. I don’t know. I just lose control sometimes and I take things out on people who don’t deserve it. Usually Johnny or Maya, and they always forgive me without much of a fight.”

  I shook my head, still facing my chest. “What if he stays mad? I can’t handle people being mad at me. I hate that feeling.” My fist landed on the bench next to me as I yelped in irritation.

  Ben kept putting his hand on me while I vented, and when I finally quieted, he told me why. “Well, the good news is that you probably don’t have to worry about that apology anymore.”

  I picked my head up and saw Hayden, watching me with a small smile. I took a deep breath and managed to keep my eyes locked on his. “I’m sorry,” I breathed.

  “Well, uh…” Ben stood up and looked around. “I think I hear Nate calling me,” he said as he scurried off.

  Hayden walked over and straddled the bench, facing me. His mesmerizing smile made me feel instantly better. “It’s all right.”

  “No.” I dropped my feet back on the ground and turned to face him. “I was wrong. I know you’re not like that, Hay. I should never have questioned it. It’s just…” I sighed and focused back in the huge rose bush in front of me. “I’ve just had to deal with people like that my whole life and I guess I’m not the most trusting girl because of it.”

  “That’s understandable.” He grabbed my hand and twirled the ring on my middle finger. “I know I act like an ass most of the time, but I do like you, Lucy. You’re so fiery and hot. Not like any of the girls I’m used to. You got personality and talent. That’s a killer combination and I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be the death of me.”

  I smiled slightly, remembering what my dad had said to me earlier. “I like you, too, Hayden.”

  “And I don’t want this to be awkward. I don’t want you to run off to Europe, either.” I chuckled. “The guys would kill me if you stopped working with us because of my sexiness.”

  “I think I can resist your rock star charms,” I assured him, laughing. “The music comes first.”

  He smiled. “Is that your motto or something?”

  “Or something,” I agreed with a deep breath. “Johnny’s probably waiting for me to walk back in the door. He gets a memo every time I run out to the garden.”

  “You and your dad have an admirable relationship.”

  That brought a genuine smile on my face. I never expected him to say something so deep and meaningful. He was definitely dangerous. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. “We do. I’m so lucky to have him. He’s the best.”

  “Who would have thought the world’s perfect dad was a rock star?”

  I laughed and stood, pulling him up with me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Jack’s not going to like this.”

  “Jack?” Hayden bristled. “Were…Are you with him?” His eyebrows furrowed and frown lines appeared.

  I smiled at his insecurity. I never would have expected it from the guy with the biggest head in the world. Maybe he wasn’t arrogant like I thought. “Not really. More like a convenience than anything.” I glanced around a
nd leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Just between you and me, he didn’t do a damn thing for me last night.”

  His face was torn between jealousy and laughter. “I think I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

  I nodded in agreement. “You should.”

  I corralled them back into the studio and got back to work. We finished the song in record time. They were on top of their game, especially Hayden. At first, I thought maybe it was just me, but Johnny stepped in for a minute to watch them and confirmed my suspicion.

  “So, I take it that talk went well,” he said as I tinkered with knobs.

  I nodded absently.

  “Good.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “This album is going to be amazing, Lu-Lu.”

  After we finished with the guys, I called Johnny back in. “I want to run through this first part.” I held up the scribble scratch I’d been working on for the duet.

  Johnny nodded, taking my place behind the control panel. “I have an hour before my next appointment.”

  I dropped the tabs I’d played with on Hayden’s stand. “We can go over this later and make changes if you want.”

  He nodded and I moved toward my microphone. “This is going to be very rough, guys. I just want to be able to hear it so I can make it perfect.”

  We ran through quickly, then Johnny hit the button to record and we went over it one more time. I was fairly happy with it, even though there were still kinks.

  Grant twirled a stick in his fingers, looking at me with weird eyes when I turned to get opinions.

  “What?” I moved toward him.

  “It’s just rough. My hands hurt.”

  I smiled widely. “Thank Billie for that. We can take some out, if you want.”

  He quirked an eyebrow, not willing to back down from the challenge. “I didn’t say I couldn’t do it.”

  Nate nodded from the corner. “It is rough. That’s the point, man. We’re showcasing our amazing talent.”

  I laughed and turned back to Ben. “What about you? Anything terribly corny?”

  “It’s all corny, Lucy,” he said with a wink. “That’s sort of the point of a love song, right?”

  Johnny’s voice came over the intercom. “You guys are sticking to just your parts. We need to add a few harmonies. Let you jump in while he’s singing and vice versa.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. We could do that.”

  “And, if you’re going to be performing this one on the tour, maybe we could have Lucy hiding backstage while Ben goes through the first verse, then come on in the middle. The crowd will go wild.”

  I smiled at Johnny. The man was brilliant. “That would be cool.”

  Jack walked into the room at that point and smiled at me before greeting Johnny. I walked out of the soundproof room and hit the button to burn the recording onto a CD.

  “You still owe me a dinner,” Jack breathed into my ear, putting his hands on my hips and leaning into me.

  “Oh, um…” I stood and squirmed away to retrieve the disc that spit out. “Not tonight, Jack. I’ve got this thing in my head now and I need to work on it.”

  He watched me for a minute, then nodded and left. I’d been putting him off all week, and not just because of Hayden. Jack was getting to be clingy. He was doing exactly what I was afraid he was going to do. I didn’t want to go out in public with him and fan the fire.

  “So…” Johnny looked around, trying to cut the tension in the room. “How about lunch?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m serious. I need to work on this.”

  I walked out of the studio and headed for Johnny’s office where my spare acoustic guitar was. I set up in my corner and went back to my routine of playing, chewing on my pick, and scribbling on my notepad. I vaguely remember hearing voices in the office with me, probably that appointment Johnny had. They apparently didn’t mind that I was there and I was too far off in my own world to be bothered by them. Johnny knew me well enough to just leave me be.

  The Sun was starting to set when he finally snatched the pencil from my hand. “Come on, Lu-Lu. You can work on that at home.”

  I nodded absently, strumming my fingers on an imaginary guitar as we rode the short distance home. I went straight down to the basement and picked up where I left off. It was music mode at its best.

  ***

  “Eat,” a deep voice commanded, dropping a plate on top of my notes.

  I looked up with narrowed eyes, but softened at Hayden’s wide smile.

  “I bet you haven’t eaten all day,” he challenged, dropping to the floor beside me.

  I frowned, then picked up the sandwich and took a big bite. “What are you doing here?”

  He reached around me, pulling my phone from my purse, and waved it in front of my face. “You didn’t answer.”

  “Oh,” I snatched it from him and frowned further at the ten missed calls. “Damn.”

  Hayden smiled. “I called Johnny and he said you were in some meditative trance. I thought I would interrupt that for you.”

  I nodded, taking another huge bite. “Did you really like it?”

  “It’s better than most of the stuff Ben and I write.” He leaned back against the wall, watching me devour my sandwich. When my worried eyes didn’t change, he sighed. “Of course I like it, Angel. It’s awesome, just like every other thing you’ve ever written.”

  “You’re just saying that to get in my thong,” I teased.

  His eyes narrowed playfully and he leaned close to my ear. “I have much better tactics for getting in your thong.”

  A firework of explosions shot straight down my spine. “Did you make this or did you pick it up somewhere?”

  “Babe, it’s after midnight. Nothing’s open this late.”

  My eyes popped open and I looked at the clock in disbelief. “No.”

  “Yes.” Hayden chuckled and shook his head. “You’re cute when you’re confused.”

  “I thought I was cute when I was mad,” I countered.

  “That, too.”

  “Angel, come up here,” Johnny’s voice carried down the stairs.

  I sighed, grabbed the plate that contained my half-eaten sandwich, and headed for the stairs. “Come on, lover boy.”

  Johnny was standing at the top of the stairs, holding a piece of paper in his hand. He had a look on his face that worried me immediately.

  “What? What’s wrong?” I set my plate down and snatched the paper out of his hands.

  It was from our lawyer. It was a lawsuit. Someone was suing Johnny. For copyright infringement. I scanned the legal jargon, trying to figure out who was stupid enough to sue Johnny. Then, my eyes landed on a familiar name and the rage burned.

  “I’m going to kill him. I’m going to castrate him.”

  “It’s not his fault, Lu-Lu.”

  I threw the paper down. “It is. He told us he hadn’t signed with a label. He lied Johnny.”

  Johnny sighed. “It’s just some little company in Ireland. Frank said it wasn’t going to be a big problem. He said they might get something if they can produce actual paperwork, but it still won’t be much.”

  “Won’t be much? Johnny, they’re on a multi-million dollar tour! Their album just hit platinum! They’re worth a lot of money!”

  He put his hands on my upper arms. “Lu-Lu, relax. We have plenty of money. I just wanted you to see this before it hits the news stands.”

  “The money isn’t the point, we have enough money. This is about principle. It’s about character. I don’t want you to renew his contract, Johnny. I don’t want him associated with us anymore.”

  “Lu-Lu, you’re a little biased.” He sighed and moved his hands to my head, an immediate calming motion. “But if you still feel this way when the contract expires, then we won’t sign them again.”

  I took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

  Hayden was standing calmly behind me, taking in my shit-fit with a small, amused smiled. “So, what did I miss, here?”
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  Johnny glanced over with a small smile. “It turns out Decaying Love was signed with another label before I found them.”

  My eyes clouded over with rage again. “I should go over to his damn condo and kick his ass.”

  “Now, Lu-Lu, let’s not make any rash decisions.”

  “Rash is what I do best, Johnny.” I sighed and deflated onto the couch. “This freaking sucks. I wish we’d never gone to stupid Ireland.”

  Johnny kissed the top of my head. “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, Lu-Lu. Now, I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”

  “Night. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” He turned back to Hayden. “You’re welcome to stay. It’s kind of late.”

  Johnny wandered down the hallway and Hayden plopped on the couch next to me. We sat like that for a few minutes, staring out the back window at the lights of downtown L.A..

  “When I was younger, I used to climb out onto the roof of my mom’s house and sneak a smoke while she screwed one guy or another in the next room.” Hayden put his arm around me when I turned to him with wide eyes, not letting me cut in until he was done. “I used to sit up there and imagine what it would be like to have a normal family. Two parents, white picket fence. The perfect setting.

  “One day, when Ben and I were struggling to put this band together, I realized if it hadn’t been for all the shit I went through as a child, I never would have picked up a guitar. Music was a way for me to filter out the pain. I wouldn’t have gone through a horrible teenage rebellion and insisted on forming a rock band. I never would have had the guts to play in front of people. I just don’t give a shit anymore, and I owe that all to my disturbingly horrible mother.”

  “Hayden,” I leaned into his chest, trying to provide him any amount of comfort I could.