The Search for Starlight

by Elyse Salpeter

  But I care.

  She had more important things to worry about now. How the hell was she going to fight against a man who had the ability to portal in and out of her life at will? How had he done that? Who was he working for? The shaman who imprisoned Caim in the first place? Or was it the Emperor and Empress themselves?

  They wouldn’t turn on me… would they?

  That thought disturbed her. Maybe it was Mara coming for her again? She realized she could ask questions all night and no one was going to answer her. Yet again, she’d have to discover everything for herself. While nearly getting myself killed or possibly suffering some tragic fate, of course.

  Kelsey stared at the amulet. Caim might know something. She needed to find a way to speak to him.

  Her leg continued to throb, her throat burned, and she realized she also had to do something about the bloody knuckles she’d gotten from hitting the man’s face repeatedly. Kelsey took solace in the fact that he’d be a swollen, bloody mess for the foreseeable future. She hoped he was human. He’d be hurting then. And at least now I’ll recognize you, you bastard.

  Kelsey limped to the bathroom and rinsed her swollen and slashed knuckles under running water. She got some gauze and tape and expertly wrapped her hands up. With difficulty she pried open the bottle of painkillers, popped one in her mouth, and grimacing, swallowed it down with a glass of water from the sink. She shook the bottle, scowling when she realized she was running low.

  Caim raged inside the amulet.

  “Don’t worry,” Kelsey said. “You and I are going to have a long talk very soon, my new friend. I’m just not sure how, yet.”

  As if the demon heard, the talisman stopped shaking and its energy stilled. Kelsey was determined more than ever now to find out what Caim had done to get locked in this talisman. What did he know? Why did they want him? And how was she involved? The answers were the key to ending all of this.

  And she’d have to protect the talisman from whomever sought it. At least now she knew what she was up against. And if the man returned?

  Next time, she would kill him.

  Chapter Five

  The Empress stormed into the meeting room and confronted the Emperor as he gazed out the window.

  He turned his head slightly to see her fuming at him.

  “How could you?” she seethed. “You’d let him kill her? Or her kill him? That was not what we agreed upon!”

  A group of novice monks, the samanen, were kneeling on the floor and remained silent during this exchange. They bowed low in respect with their foreheads resting against the stone.

  The Empress addressed them. “You’ll continue your studies later. Please leave us be.”

  The monks stood and shuffled out of the room silently. When they left, the Emperor turned to the Empress, who was so incensed her face flushed beet red.

  He tried to calm her down. “My love, please don’t be upset. Robbie was never going to kill her. Kelsey’s too strong for that to happen.”

  “Then you’d instead let Kelsey kill him?” she spit out. “She nearly did before he portalled back to Pritvhi. She’d never forgive you if she found out you let her kill her own brother. That was not what you promised Benjamin Porter would happen. You promised him that you would save his children and eventually bring them together.”

  The Emperor held out his hands. “How have I not delivered on what I promised? They were together, weren’t they?” He tried to smile through his joke but the Empress wanted none of it.

  She crossed her arms angrily. “There are other ways to do this and you know it.”

  The Emperor moved close to the Empress until he was by her side. He towered over her and then leaned down until his face was just an inch from hers. Though he didn’t touch her, the Empress’s skin reddened slightly from the burning heat he emitted. The Emperor’s own breath quickened at such close intimacy with her. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, taking in her scent. A light shudder of pleasure pulsed through him and he unwillingly pulled back. “I know exactly what I promised Benjamin Porter, as do you. I promised to save his children, and I did. Both of them survived tragedies which would have killed them in their early lifetimes because we intervened.”

  She raised her brows and spread her hands wide. “Then why let this play out this way? After all we’ve done for both of them?”

  His jaw hardened. “Because there is no other way. This lifetime is our one chance to set things right and I’m not going to waste it for another millennium.” His voice shook with emotion, and the Empress knew the old, hidden desperation had crept back to the surface. A desperation that he kept locked deep inside, but one that grew with each passing day, each passing year, century after century.

  “Jagan, please,” she whispered. “Don’t do this. I’m begging you.”

  His eyes widened in surprise when she used his first name. The name he’d had when he’d been alive. The name he had when he’d been human.

  The Empress placed her hand to her heart. “My love, I know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, but I command you to stop. We have been forgiven and given a chance to redeem ourselves by saving souls in this bardo. This is our penance and our journey. Do not allow your selfish desires to change the paths of all these people. Is it not enough that the charm is safe?”

  “Is the charm safe, Adra?” he whispered, using her common name as well. “We don’t know that. The charm is rightfully ours, and it was taken away from us because of what we did. It should have been returned to us. All this pain and torment born from an act of love!” He whirled back to the window and pounded his chest while staring out. He raised his voice in anger and frustration. “Where is our redemption? How long will you continue to punish us? How many centuries will you castigate us?” he bellowed to the ribbons in the nighttime sky.

  There was no answer and he turned back to the Empress, his eyes now flashing in fury. “How many times will the charm pass by us, Adra? How many centuries will it go fleetingly through our grasp, with us never getting to hold it? Never getting to touch it? Never getting to feel it? This is the realm where the charm should rest, where we would recognize it when it came. Where we would help it move on to its next incarnation, like we rightfully should have been granted the duty centuries ago. Instead, they’ve bound our hands and bound our souls so that we do their bidding, while they dangle the charm like a carrot or a prize we can never win. I want no more part of it. I want the charm with me here in Xanadu, right now, in this timeline. And don’t deny you feel the same way, because I will know it for a lie. It’s ours to have! Think of all the lifetimes we’ve missed it! It’s a torture I can no longer bear.”

  Her eyes softened. “My love, we don’t even know where the charm is. I’ve searched for a millennium and can never find where it lands. I can’t recognize it when it comes by like the others. If it even comes by at all anymore.”

  His raised his voice in frustration. “Exactly. They’ve hidden it from us so we don’t interfere. And that is why Kelsey is the one who will find it. We saved her and groomed her, and helped her grow into her powers, and now she’s going to bring it to us. Once it’s here in our possession, we can protect it and it doesn’t have to disappear ever again. Then Kelsey can finally be free of all of us.”

  “But how can Kelsey possibly find it? What will she use to help in her search?”

  The Emperor paused and then uttered a single word. “Caim.”

  The Empress froze and all the blood drained from her face. She took a horrified step backwards and shook her head. “No. No.” Her voice hitched in fear and disgust. Neither of them had uttered that name in four thousand years.

  The Emperor narrowed his eyes to slits. “Oh yes, he’s going to help us.”

  The Empress swallowed hard. “You… know where he is?”

  “He’s inside the amulet Kelsey seeks, and he’s going to right the terrible wrong he did to both of us. He will help us find the charm he nearly destroyed. It is the least he
can do.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “A Master in Pritvhi let me know Caim has been imprisoned in it.”

  She stared at him. “Is this by any chance Robbie’s teacher, Master Dov?”

  The Emperor slowly nodded. “It is.”

  Her lips trembled. “And so the circle begins again.”

  “Adra, life is a circle. Everything has finally joined together to meet at this point. It is finally our time.”

  The Empress shook with emotion. “Caim will never agree to help us.” She moved nearer to her partner, gazing into his eyes, inching closer and closer until their lips were just an inch apart. She loved him so desperately and because of that love they were condemned to Xanadu, bound to guard this realm. Doing their penance for a passionate human transgression committed centuries ago. How much longer would they be punished?

  “He will. I’ll help him out of his prison.”

  Her eyes widened. “How? You don’t have the power.”

  “I do. He helps us find the charm and I will call on the demons in the hell realms themselves to come and take him to where he can be released. Look.” He brought her to the window and pointed to the far corner of the sky. A single dot of black glowed there above the beautiful horizon.

  “You opened a rift again? Like what you did when Kelsey fought Mara? Why risk this?”

  “It’s only a small one. Enough for us to send Caim back to the hell realms where he belongs. All of this was set up centuries ago Adra. And now it ends. Caim helps us, and he can leave. Do you know what happened to him after what he did to us?”

  She shook her head.

  “He was sent to the Order of Angels.”

  She scoffed and shook her head again. “That’s impossible. “

  “The impossible happened.”

  “That should never have been allowed,” the Empress responded.

  “No, it shouldn’t have,” the Emperor agreed. “Someone powerful sent him there at the same time he sent us here. All our timelines started at that moment. When we find out who orchestrated all of this, and find out where the charm is, this will all be over.”

  Her voice was hushed. “You play a dangerous game, my love. And if you’re caught? What if we’re punished? Again.” She let that thought linger in the air.

  He glowered. “Then I’m caught. I’m done being held hostage. You and I have suffered enough. It’s time we end this now, in this lifetime. If they persist in punishing us, I won’t be party to protecting Xanadu any longer. There is absolutely no guarantee the charm is even alive any longer. They’ve never once even granted us the privilege of knowing. I’m done playing this game. It’s one that was never designed for us to win, but I will force all their hands.”

  The Empress’s eyes welled with tears. She knew how badly he wanted the charm, and it hurt her heart to no end hearing how far he’d go to get it back. It moved her deeply in her soul. “You are so brave.” She whispered and took another step closer to him, looking once more into his brilliant brown eyes. “It’s unbearable to be this close to you and never to touch you. Perhaps things have changed?” In an act she had not attempted in nearly two hundred years, the Empress leaned towards him and pressed her lips to his. The pain of their lips touching was instantly excruciating, but he didn’t pull back. He embraced her and kissed her deeply. In seconds, their coupling turned to agony and he finally released her. Blisters had formed on both their mouths and on every other part of their body they’d exposed to each other.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… I just couldn’t help it. I should have known better.”

  He stared at her and spoke through lips already swollen and blistering. “As you can see, our sentence has not ended,” he said, bitterly. “But I promise you, it will end in this lifetime. We’ve been punished enough for a crime that was never truly a crime. If they will prevent us for all eternity from touching each other then that alone should be our punishment. Not forbidding the charm. I want it here, and now is the only timeline in all the paths of eternity in which we have the chance to get it back.”

  The Empress shuddered. “But I don’t want Kelsey to die.” Her lips bled and she placed her gauzy sleeve to her mouth to stop the open sores from weeping down her chin.

  He grit his teeth. “I don’t either, but you read the prophecy yourself. Benjamin Porter translated it. Once we find the charm, once we find starlight, the demon will die. Robbie is here. The talisman is here. Kelsey has met Desmond and has continued to tap into her potential. Kelsey is now strong enough to do this. Powerful enough to physically bring the charm to Xanadu. We cannot afford to lose this opportunity. I can’t let it happen. I just won’t.” He kept his hands away from his body. It would be weeks before his wounds would heal.

  “So you’ll sacrifice her?” the Empress asked, flabbergasted. “You’ll let her die? After all she’s done for us? Don’t you care about her at all?”

  His eyes softened. “I care about her with all my heart. The moment I held her in my arms when we took her from the monks after her attack, was the moment I fell in love with her. We have a connection I don’t understand. But the path in this continuum is out of our hands. And why do you fret so, my love? We will see her soon after. She will be reborn or she can choose to finally move on. Death is not eternal for her or anyone. She’s too powerful. You know this. Her human lifetime is just a miniscule moment in time for her soul. Her purpose will be fulfilled.”

  “Jagan, no, I beg of you. There must be another way. They never said the boy would have to kill his own sister. This just isn’t moral.”

  The Emperor was resolute. “Remember the words from the translations. It will be in this lifetime their paths will all cross together. Heed the signs. The girl needs to live. She is the only one that will be able to find the charmed one. She needs to seek starlight. And then the demon will die by her own blood and will be released.” Robbie is her brother. He is her blood. He fights demons.”

  “I know the words of the prophecy,” the Empress responded, bitterly. “You don’t need to repeat them to me. I dream those very words in my sleep every night, trying to find another meaning.”

  His jaw hardened. “There is none. You can deny it all you wish, but at some point in Kelsey’s journey in this lifetime, she will die and it is not something that we can stop. And when it happens, she can choose her next incarnation when she comes here. She can be anything she wishes. Be a Buddha or seek nirvana. She’s earned it and with this final act she could earn her ultimate eternal reward. She will experience a single moment of pain and sorrow as this lifetime ends, and then an eternity of choice. Who wouldn’t accept that?”

  The Empress was dumbfounded. “Have you not considered she may instead return to Mara’s side? Or choose to become a Deva goddess? Is that what you want?”

  The Emperor remained silent, and it gave the Empress chills. She moved closer to him again. “That is not an option! After all our teachings and all our care? The girl still struggles with her feelings. She is still learning about her powers and evolving. She is not strong enough to completely resist her demon nature’s pull yet, and if Mara comes for her with an offer more enticing than death? Every time she travels to the realms she discovers more about herself and becomes more attune to her true abilities. The conflict between her past and who she wishes to become pulls at her. Her soul is still progressing, and if she chooses the wrong path it could hurt all the continuums. Our selfish desire for the charm is not enough reason to put the entire universe in jeopardy!”

  The Emperor turned back to the nighttime sky and watched the ribbons ripple across the expanse. “Kelsey’s soul will continue to evolve, whether it ends in this lifetime or the next. Whether she spends it here, on Earth, or back in the Naraka Palace. We have no say in it.”

  The Empress was stunned. “You speak blasphemy.”

  He gently contradicted her. “I don’t. Kelsey needs to seek starlight on her own. I’ve given her the tools, but I can’t do much more.�
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  “Why not?” the Empress asked. “Because you’re afraid whoever put this in place will find out? You don’t even know who you’re afraid of, though. We don’t even know who has condemned us to this existence!”

  He turned to her. “Does it matter at this point? They had to power to send us here, but we could have easily done our penance in a hell realm.”

  The Empress sucked in her breath. “Does this not sometimes feel like a hell realm, my love?” She stared at him skeptically. “Do the monks know your plan to let Kelsey die? You know they won’t agree to it.”

  He scoffed. “Of course they will. In fact, they’ve known all along. From the moment Robbie got sick, they knew.”

  She glowered. “How many secrets have you kept from me? How dare you?”

  He raised his brows in bafflement and took a step towards her. “How dare I? Do you not understand that I have been doing all of this for you? Everything. For you, for us. For the charm! Why do you think the Bodhidharma Monastery is still standing after all these years? I’ve been protecting it for centuries so that they could help me keep the secret. How many times have humans come to that temple with hate and terror in their hearts? With the goal to wipe them off the face of the planet with their purges and wars? We sheltered and safeguarded them, defeated their foes, hid them, reincarnated all their Buddhas, century after century.” The Emperor pounded his chest. “I helped that monastery flourish, and I will continue to do so as long as they continue to help us find starlight. That is all that matters. Finding the charm is the most important thing in the universe.”

  “Jagan, who is keeping the charm from us? Who is our judge and jury?”