Unchanged

by Jessica Brody

  The shivering intensifies. “That’s a lie.” I can barely manage to keep my teeth from chattering.

  “You’re programmed to think that, Sera. Your brain wants it all to make sense. Even if it’s illogical. Think about it. Why else would Lyzender be here?”

  “For the same reason you’re all here!” I try to shout but it comes out strained. “To destroy Diotech.”

  Sevan shakes his head. “Not him.”

  “Yes, him. He told me so himself.”

  “Now that was a lie.”

  My head is pounding. The thoughts are jumbled, shoving against one another. Like a drunken brawl in my brain. I press my palm against my temple, begging it to stop.

  Just stop.

  “Dr. Alixter wanted you to feel allegiance to Diotech. To what they’re trying to do. But to accomplish that, he also had to make you feel betrayal when you remembered your past. It was all spelled out on the order. I coded the emotions in myself. Everything you feel—about Dr. A, about Diotech, about Lyzender—it’s manufactured. I would know, I put it there. And I couldn’t live with myself afterward. That’s why I’m here.”

  “I don’t believe you,” I whisper.

  “You’re not supposed to. I’m a good Coder.”

  Somewhere inside of me, I find the strength to scream, but it’s a waning force that’s only good for one word. So I choose it wisely. “No!”

  I stand up and try to walk away, but I’m yanked back, still cuffed to Sevan. I pull hard, imagining that my abilities are back and I can rip his arm clean out of the socket, but I don’t even seem to be making a dent in his skin. “Release me,” I beg quietly.

  Surprisingly, he does. Without argument or hesitation. He pulls the key from his pocket and unlocks his end. The vacant cuff dangles from my wrist.

  He must know I won’t try to run.

  He must know I barely even have the strength to make it across the camp to my tent.

  Everyone here is a liar. Lyzender, Paddok, Sevan. They’ll say whatever it takes to break me. To make me believe I’m on the wrong side.

  I’m on the side of humanity. The side of doing good for the world. That’s the right side.

  I start limping back to my tent.

  “Remember the fire,” Sevan calls from the table.

  My footsteps slow to a stop.

  Fire? What fire? The one that burned me at the stake in 1609?

  But instantly I know that’s not what he’s referring to. His words. They spark something. An image stirs in my brain. An imprisoned memory struggling to break free. An unforgotten nightmare.

  And suddenly I see it. I remember it.

  A blindfolded woman standing in the desert. Flames roaring inside a glass cage.

  She walks mindlessly into the inferno.

  She doesn’t even scream.

  But I do.

  At least I try. Kaelen’s hand muffles the sound. Kaelen’s words attempt to soothe me. Kaelen’s arms carry me away.

  Across the compound. Under the glinting metallic archway. Through the doors of the memory labs.

  I slowly turn around. Sevan has stood up from the bench. He stares at me expectantly. As if he knows what’s happening in my brain right now.

  “The memory you erased,” I say numbly. “The night before we left.”

  “I gave it back,” he confirms. “During your last scan. It just needed to be triggered.”

  My throat is dry. Scorched from the recollection of the flames. “Why?”

  “So you could see the truth for yourself.”

  “What truth? What did I witness that night?”

  “The real Objective,” he replies calmly.

  “Burning people?”

  He takes a step toward me. “Controlling people.”

  I shake my head.

  He takes another step. “Every product in the ExGen Collection contains an untraceable piece of nanotechnology.”

  I shut my eyes tight. It’s crazy. It’s delusional. It’s exactly what Dr. Maxxer claimed, and she was crazy. She was delusional.

  Another step. “A stimulated-response system. Just like the one they used on you in 2032. It will embed itself in the consumer’s brain and lie dormant until the day Diotech decides to switch it on.”

  I cover my ears with my hands. “Stop! That fire never happened! You coded that memory to mess with my mind. You are the brainwasher! Diotech is trying to help people!”

  “Think about it, Sera.” Sevan’s tone sharpens. “Diotech has nothing to gain from making people stronger. The world has nothing to gain from making people stronger. A controlled population is a weak population is a safe population.”

  I won’t stand here and listen to this. I won’t let myself be manipulated by these lies.

  I turn again and walk away, determined to huddle under my blankets until I drift to sleep.

  But just as I reach the tent I catch sight of the dark-skinned girl. The one who brought me my food earlier. Who Sevan called Xaria.

  She’s standing on her tiptoes, her lips curled into a coy smile as she whispers into someone’s ear. Then she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him toward her, steering his mouth to hers.

  It’s then that I’m able to see Lyzender’s face. As it rotates toward me to welcome her kiss.

  44

  ANSWERS

  He sees me as soon as his lips touch hers. His mouth falls open and his eyes widen. For a moment, he stands completely still, unsure what to do. When she realizes he’s not kissing her back, she pulls away, murmuring something inaudible against his chin.

  Then she looks my way and her gaze slices into me.

  I duck into the tent and collapse on the bed, facing the cloth wall. The air comes out of my lungs rough and ragged. I try to take deep breaths but it only results in a coughing fit.

  I tell myself it has nothing to do with what I just witnessed. My shortness of breath is one hundred percent attributable to my walk through the camp. And to the disturbing lies that Sevan tried to force on me.

  Why should I care what Lyzender does?

  Who Lyzender kisses?

  I shouldn’t. I don’t. He can kiss every girl within a fifty-mile radius if he wants. It doesn’t affect me at all. Actually, that’s not true. It’s better for me. Better that his attention is focused elsewhere. Better that he’s not trying to manipulate me anymore. He’s clearly found another, more agreeable subject.

  One less thing for me to have to worry about.

  I need to concentrate on my mission to warn the compound about the imminent attack.

  There is nothing else.

  I hear the tent flap swish a moment later. I don’t have to roll over to know who’s standing there. I recognize his breathing. His silence. The way the air in the room bends toward him.

  “Seraphina—” he starts to say.

  “It’s Sera.”

  “Seraphina,” he repeats with even more persistence. “We need to talk. What you just saw out there—”

  “Has nothing to do with me.”

  “Has everything to do with you.” His voice is thick and pleading. I can hear his feet shuffling around the interior of the tent. It’s what he does when he’s trying to find words.

  I remember.

  How I wish I didn’t.

  “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” I tell him.

  “No!” he shouts, causing me to jump. I’ve only ever heard him shout once before. It was at Rio. Before he discovered that Rio was trying to help us.

  “No,” he says again. This time more quietly. More controlled. But still packed with intensity. “You don’t understand what I’ve been through. Those three years trapped in time without you. I finally understood what all those religions mean when they talk about hell. They were the most agonizing years of my life. I lost myself. Cody almost lost his family trying to help me. Then he had a breakthrough, and I thought the agony was over. I thought as soon as I could get back here, all those long, hellish years would be behind me.”
He pauses. I still don’t turn around to look at him. “Then I saw you on the Feed.”

  A chill racks my body. A chill that has nothing to do with the poison in my blood.

  “You asked that question, didn’t you? SZ1609?”

  “Yes,” he whispers.

  I don’t know why this answer crushes me. It only confirms what I already knew. Maybe because now it’s a fact. Not just a theory. Maybe because I suddenly see that interview in a new way. Through his eyes.

  The hand-holding.

  The flirtations.

  That kiss.

  I remember how it reached my toes. How it looked on the slow-motion playback. Like two people hopelessly in love.

  Like two people who have never been in love with anyone else.

  For a single moment—as long as it takes for me to count to three—I allow myself to feel the grief that washes over me. I allow myself to ponder the heartbreak that Lyzender claims he felt when he watched that. I allow it to consume me.

  1, 2, 3.

  Then it’s over. I bottle it up. Push it down. I remind myself that he doesn’t really love me. He never did.

  It was an act.

  Just like this is.

  “It twists your recollection of events. It warps your past into anything they want it to be.”

  NO!

  I curl myself into a ball and shake. I want it all to stop. The noise. The chatter in my mind. The voices telling me what they want me to believe.

  I can’t believe everything. I have to choose. And I choose the Objective.

  I choose Kaelen.

  “I saw you with him,” Lyzender goes on after a heavy silence. “I saw the way you looked at him. The way you kissed him. It destroyed me all over again. I descended into darkness. Xaria was there. She’s been trying to pull me out.”

  “Good,” I mumble into my kneecaps. “Now we both have someone.” The tears are coming. I can’t stop them. They will have to fall. But as long as I stay curled up here, as long as I refuse to face him, he will never have to know.

  I silently will him to leave. Walk away. Let me crumble to pieces alone.

  “Yes,” he agrees. “Now we both have someone.”

  I hear his footsteps retreating. I hear the flap being pulled back. And then I hear nothing.

  The first tear treks a path down my nose, falling onto the lumpy pillow. The sob rises up inside of me, threatening to convulse my entire body. Threatening to bring this tent to the ground.

  “Can I ask you one thing?”

  It’s him. He hasn’t left.

  I don’t speak, in fear of revealing everything. My brokenness. My fear. My treacherous relief that he’s still here.

  “When you saw us just now,” he says softly. The edge to his voice is completely gone. Vanished without a trace. “When you saw her kiss me, did it make you feel anything?”

  The truthful answer is right on the tip of my tongue. Ready to implode.

  It made me feel everything.

  But that’s not an answer I can give.

  That’s not an answer that makes things easier. That simplifies life. That improves situations.

  That’s an answer that erases progress. That turns back time.

  That destroys.

  I manage to hold back a shudder. It feels like holding back the tides.

  “No,” I say.

  I count the seconds until he leaves again. It’s all I can do not to scream.

  This time he makes his departure clear. Hard footfalls on the ground. A violent clattering outside. Hushed voices speaking calming words.

  I’m grateful for the commotion. It stifles the sound of me shattering.

  45

  STAGED

  That afternoon, I’m roused from a deep sleep and led into the dining area of the camp. Everyone is already assembled for what looks like another meeting. They watch me as I’m paraded in—Sevan, Paddok, Klo Raze, Davish Swick, Olin Vas with his disfigured face, Nem Rouser who cooks the meat, even Niko Carlson, Cody’s great-grandson. Twenty-five faces. Twenty-five distrusting stares. All directed at me.

  I cough a little but try to stand up straighter. I’m not sure what’s happening or why I’ve been brought here to be gawked at, but I’m not about to let these people threaten me with their hatred.

  I am an ExGen—at least I was before they filled my veins with liquid weakness. I am the face of the future. I will not believe their lies, or be intimidated by their vengeance, or be trapped by their manipulations.

  I will fight. I will keep fighting until Diotech has destroyed them. Or they kill me. Whichever comes first.

  Lyzender suddenly appears in front of me, his face distraught, his eyes pleading. “Please just do exactly as she says,” he tells me urgently.

  Before I can ask him what he’s talking about, Jase nudges me forward with the barrel of his shotgun and sits me down at one of the wooden tables. I’m positioned so that the entire camp is facing me. They’re all clustered in a tight group behind Paddok and Klo. I suddenly feel like I’m onstage again. Back in the spotlight. Except this time, I don’t know what’s expected of me.

  “Do you want me to dance?” I ask, trying for sarcasm, but my voice is too frail—too sickly—to be taken seriously.

  Ignoring my joke, Paddok steps forward. “Here’s how this is going to work,” she addresses me sharply. I’ve never seen her look so anxious.

  What the glitch is going on?

  Paddok shoves a piece of paper into my hand. On it, she’s scribbled something in messy handwriting. “This is what you will say. This is all you will say. If they ask you questions, you will ignore them. If they try to get more information out of you, you will ignore them.” She nods to Jase who stands just off to the side, his gun aimed at my head. “If you fail to comply with any of these guidelines, your precious Print Mate will be forced to watch your brains splatter all over his wall screen. Is that clear?”

  Print Mate?

  Kaelen!

  Is he here?

  My gaze darts around the camp, but I see no sign of him. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I notice Klo pulling something from his pocket. My head whips back as he unrolls the familiar item and my entire body starts to hum.

  The Slate!

  A connection to the world.

  To Diotech.

  My arms tremble, wanting to reach for it. If only I had my full strength I could tackle him to the ground and confiscate it. Then again, if I had my full strength, I suppose I wouldn’t need the Slate in the first place.

  I watch anxiously as the flexible screen blinks to life, emitting a soft glow across his face. A few taps before he brandishes it toward me.

  I inhale sharply when I see the familiar dining room of the Owner’s Estate framed between his hands. Sitting at the long polished-marble table, staring at me as though they’re looking out of a glass prison, are Director Raze, Dr. A, and my beloved Kaelen.

  My heart pounds wildly in my chest. I briefly glance down at the piece of paper in my hands, skimming the barely legible handwriting. I catch key words like kidnappers, ransom, bank account.

  That’s when Paddok’s warning finally makes sense.

  That’s when another piece of their plan clicks into place.

  I’m here to negotiate the terms of my release.

  46

  SUBTEXT

  There is no doubt in my mind what I must do. This might be my only chance to get a message to Director Raze. To warn him about what’s coming.

  “I said,” Paddok growls, jolting me out of my thoughts, “is that clear?”

  “Yes,” I say, eyeing Jase’s gun a few feet away.

  It’s perfectly clear. I disobey, Kaelen watches me die.

  Paddok is smart. She knows the threat of death alone is not enough to make me comply. But if Kaelen has to witness my murder, it will destroy him.

  Glancing back at the Slate, I now realize that although I can see Dr. A, Kaelen, and Director Raze, they still can’t see me. Or hear me. This sid
e of the connection hasn’t yet been activated.

  “If you try to give up our location, Jase will shoot you,” Paddok goes on.

  “I don’t know our location,” I remind her.

  “If you try to warn them about anything you’ve overheard, Jase will shoot you. If you try to—”

  “I understand,” I tell her, my temper starting to flare. “Read the script and say nothing else.”

  Her jaw flexes. “Good.”

  I glance again at my script. They’re asking Diotech for a two-billion-dollar ransom to be transferred to a bank account. After that I’ll be returned to them safe and sound.

  So that’s their plan. They’re trying to make this look like a basic kidnapping. I admit it’s pretty clever. Kaelen and I are two of the most famous people on the planet right now. It’s not hard to believe that someone would want to trade us for a bunch of money.

  And then what? How are they planning to get that device into the underground bunker? There are still too many details I don’t know.

  “Are we ready?” Paddok asks Klo.

  Klo nods. “Ready to transmit on your order, boss lady.”

  I look out into the sea of faces huddled behind Klo and Paddok. Judging by the fact that the entire camp has gathered to witness this, it’s a key moment. The rest of their plan hinges on what’s about to happen.

  The only person on this side of the Slate with me is Jase, standing just outside of the cam’s frame.

  I catch sight of Lyzender and can tell from the uneasy way he glances between me and Jase that he doesn’t approve of the use of the firearm. He gnaws at one of his fingernails until Xaria comes up from behind him and wraps her arms around his waist. I’m sure she means it to be a calming gesture but it only seems to make Lyzender more nervous.

  I look away, directing my gaze right at the Slate. Dr. A, Raze, and Kaelen are still sitting at the table, waiting for the transmission to go live. Kaelen drums his fingers apprehensively on the tabletop.

  “Remember,” Paddok warns. “No deviations from the script.”