Haunted Memories

by Phoebe Rivers

  “Hadley’s polio outbreak started before ours,” the mayor continued. “The virus was there first.”

  “That’s true, but we didn’t realize it then. We were all too concerned with all the sick kids here in Stellamar,” the white-haired man replied.

  “Alice was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A victim like the rest of the children.” The mayor wiped a line of sweat beading his brow. “There is no one person to blame for the polio outbreak.” He continued to pace. The entire town was quiet, hanging on his every word.

  “Our town did something very wrong in our pain. We lashed out at one of our own. Generations of Stellamar residents singled out one girl. In that time of tragedy, we shouldn’t have been pointing fingers. We should have been reaching out to hold hands. My parents and others like them—and this includes me, since I grew up hearing about this—never spoke up to clear her name. Not until now.”

  “I remember Alice,” declared an older woman in a loud, clear voice. “She was very smart. And I recall that she loved the movies.”

  “It was a confusing time,” the white-haired man added, sounding sad. “Poor Alice was just a victim.”

  “I want this town to be a place of understanding and open-mindedness. No whispering behind closed doors. No more hiding behind half-truths.” The mayor reached his free hand toward the audience. “I invite you all to share your stories and your secrets with the middle schoolers of Stellamar and help us compile an honest record of the history of our town.”

  More applause.

  Alice, I thought. No one blames you anymore.

  I was stunned. I had done something. Something important, something that made a change.

  Avery guided me off the stage. Kids surrounded me, but I couldn’t focus. I wanted to get to the school. I needed to tell Alice.

  Or did she already know somehow?

  “Oh my God, it worked. It really worked,” Avery was saying to Lily.

  “What worked?” I asked, tuning in.

  Avery grinned. “I told you it was genius.”

  “What did you do? How did you make me win?”

  “It wasn’t only me.” Avery smiled slyly. “I got Jayden to help.”

  “Jayden?” I scanned the crowd. Was he here? I couldn’t see him.

  “We plotted it together.” Avery couldn’t contain her triumph. “You see, once Christine was kicked out, it left you as the only seventh grader against three eighth graders. I talked to all the seventh-grade girls and convinced them to vote for you. You know, to stick it to the eighth graders. And Jayden rallied the seventh-grade boys—they all think he’s cool—and the seventh-grade girls who wouldn’t listen to me but would definitely listen to a cute boy.” Avery smiled proudly.

  “I’m not understanding,” I confessed.

  “Do the math,” Avery explained patiently. “Dina, Ava, and Chloe split the eighth-grade vote, but you got most of the seventh-grade vote. And the teachers. The teachers loved your speech. Loved that you actually gave it, at least.”

  “You won!” Lily cried. She pulled a pink carnation from my bouquet and tucked it behind her ear.

  “I told you it would be awesome to have one of us wear the crown,” Avery said.

  One of us.

  I was part of their group.

  “Are you wearing your new dress tonight?” Miranda, who had appeared from the crowd, asked Lily. They were onto the dance already.

  I searched the crowd flooding the boardwalk. Brown hair everywhere. None belonging to Jayden. I wished I could find him.

  He helped me win. But why?

  He definitely thought the whole Harvest Queen thing was stupid. So did it mean he . . . liked me?

  Suddenly I couldn’t wait for tonight. Jayden was sure to be at the dance.

  I wanted to talk to him. Alone.

  CHAPTER 15

  Lady Azura waited for me at the bottom of the stairs. “Where’s the rest?”

  “The rest of what?”

  “The outfit.” She squinted at my green dress with its flowy skirt and spaghetti straps. Aunt Charlotte had bought it for me before we left.

  “Didn’t anyone teach you about accessories?” Lady Azura sounded horrified. “I’ll get you some jewelry. My rhinestones, perhaps?”

  “No, no, I’m good. Really.” I waved her off. I barely ever wore fancy dresses. Rhinestones were definitely out. “Besides, I have this.” I held up the crown. “It’s an accessory, right?”

  She grinned. “The best kind.”

  I opened my other hand. “You can have this back.”

  Lady Azura gazed at the aquamarine. “Did it help?”

  “I didn’t use it,” I admitted. “It was buried in my dirty clothes pile all this time.” I paused. “I still have the ruby crystal, too. The love one.” I held up the black wristlet bag that held my phone. “It’s in here. I kind of want to keep it, if that’s okay. For tonight.”

  “Keep them both. For tonight and for next time.” She smiled knowingly and closed my fingers around the aquamarine. “There’s always a next time. But wait here. . . . I still think you are under-accessorized!”

  Rather than protest, I decided to wait and see what she would come back with. I could just put on whatever gaudy rhinestone thing she loaned me and then take it off as soon as I left the house.

  But when Lady Azura returned a moment later, she wasn’t holding a piece of gaudy rhinestone jewelry. She was holding a simple black cord with a silver clasp on the ends. She handed the cord to me. “You can place your crystal on the cord,” she explained. I think the ruby crystal will look lovely around your neck tonight.”

  I looped the crystal onto the cord and fastened it around my neck. “How does it look?” I asked.

  “Lovely. You are beautiful, Sara.” Lady Azura beamed at me and squeezed my hand.

  I noticed my dad standing there just then, watching us with a strange look on his face. He was holding his camera and started fiddling with it when he saw me looking at him.

  “You do look lovely, Sara,” he said. “Now smile and let me take a picture of my beautiful Harvest Queen!”

  Dad snapped a few pictures, and I smiled obligingly. I usually hate having my picture taken, but tonight I was happy to pose for a couple of shots. I felt really good.

  “I like that you’re happy,” Dad said as he snapped away.

  I liked it too. I put on the crown so he could take a picture of me with it on.

  Lily made me wear the crown as we walked into the school gym. I tried to protest, but she threatened to Krazy Glue it on my head. She said it was part of being Harvest Queen.

  “If you don’t wear it, I will,” Avery offered.

  “Back off. Sara let you ride on the float. She’s wearing the crown,” Lily declared. And I did. Even though I felt ridiculous.

  We walked through a balloon arch into the overheated gym. Kids clustered in groups around the dance floor.

  The deep bass of the DJ’s music thumped off the cinder-block walls. We passed a group of eighth-grade girls encased in a cloud of hairspray and perfume. I recognized Dina. She gave me the evil eye, then poked her friend, who glanced at the crown askew on my head and sneered.

  “Jealous,” Lily whispered.

  I worried that I might have just made enemies as well as friends in this new school.

  I trailed Lily and Avery to the drinks table, where the girls from our lunch table debated the fashion failures of the night.

  I searched for Jayden.

  To say thank you. To just see him . . . ? I didn’t know.

  “You didn’t want to be queen, yet I say if the crown fits, wear it.” Laughter echoed around me.

  The gym teacher, still in his tracksuit, whistle around his neck, appeared in front of me. “Still no sense of humor?”

  I refused to answer. I wasn’t even going to look at him.

  “I will get you to laugh. Oh yes, I will. The school year has just begun.” He pointed at me, then disappeared. His laughter trailed beh
ind him.

  I cringed. He was going to be a problem. A big one, I feared.

  “I need to get some fresh air,” I shouted to Lily above the roar of the music. I pointed to the open door at the back of the gym. She nodded, and I weaved my way through kids who were half dancing, half talking.

  The gray sky held tight to the last rays of daylight. I sat on the second concrete step. She was here. I’d felt her when I first arrived.

  “The crown. It’s beautiful,” Alice said. She materialized next to me. No longer weeping. Smiling. “I wanted the crown.”

  “I know.” I told her about the mayor’s speech and how her history would be rewritten.

  “That pool party,” she murmured. “I always believed it wasn’t my fault. I just knew.”

  “Now everyone in town knows too.” I touched the crown, still perched on my head. “This is yours. I did this for you. Or you did it—I’m not really sure.”

  “Thank you . . . it’s ours . . . together.” Her body glimmered in the pale light. “Let me help you now. Anything you need, just ask.”

  I stared at her shimmery body, fading in and out of focus. What could a dead girl do for me?

  And then, a thought that I always carried with me in the far corner of my mind . . . Could I ask?

  I played with the idea. Maybe she could. It was possible . . .

  “Do you . . .” I hesitated. I didn’t know what happened after death.

  “Do I what?” Alice asked.

  “Know my mother? Her name is Natalie Collins. She’s dead.” The words tumbled out. “Have you met her?”

  “No.” Alice shook her head. “There are lots of dead people. It’s like asking if I know a boy named John who lives somewhere in the United States.” She must have seen the hurt in my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  I shrugged. I’d been hoping for years now to see my mom. Instead I saw dead gym teachers.

  “But I can help you find someone else. Someone living.”

  “Who?”

  “Jayden. Oh, come on! Even I can see you like him. You do realize I watch you all the time at school.” She smiled. “He’s back there.” She pointed past the lit soccer field to the small graveyard tucked beneath large maple trees.

  “In the graveyard? Your graveyard?” I had gone in there last week to take the photo of her small tombstone.

  “His father dropped him at the dance, but Jayden snuck around to the back of the school. He’s been in the graveyard ever since.”

  “Is he alone?”

  “Alone?” Alice asked.

  “I mean, is there someone like you with him? A boy. Someone . . . not alive?” I wasn’t sure how else to put it.

  “I wouldn’t know,” Alice said. “You’re the one who can see us. We can’t all see each other. Strange, isn’t it?”

  “Very.” I had to remember to ask Lady Azura if she knew about this.

  “Find him,” Alice urged. “I’m done here. I’m going.”

  “Going?”

  “I don’t know where. I hope Hollywood or someplace like it. I don’t know how it all works, but I’m finally finished with middle school. I can move on now.” Alice reached out to touch my crown.

  Our crown.

  A chill descended on me, but I fought the urge to shiver. I watched her smile one last time and then fade into the shadows. Gone.

  I peered behind me into the crowded gym. Miranda stood a head taller than most of the other girls, and I easily spotted her by the table. She caught my eye and nudged Lily alongside her. Lily waved. I waved back.

  I’ll go fast, I thought. No one will ever know. Miss Klingert, who was monitoring the exit, had turned to cheer on the limbo showdown on the dance floor.

  I hurried across the soccer field and through the wooden gate with the broken latch. Lights lining the field illuminated the crooked headstones. There were only about thirty, most tucked beneath the protective branches of three enormous maple trees.

  ALICE ELIZABETH EMERSON

  AUGUST 6, 1939–SEPTEMBER 23, 1952

  I knelt in front of Alice’s lonely grave. I lifted the crown off my head and gently placed it on top of the simple stone marker.

  “This is yours,” I said. “Now everyone will know who you really are. Harvest Queen.”

  “You’re giving it away?”

  He was here. I followed Jayden’s voice to a nearby tree.

  “I never really wanted it,” I confessed. “It’s not me.”

  “I didn’t think so.” He sat on the damp ground. The first leaves had begun to fall, decorating the dirt. Next to him stood a white stone marker, bigger and fancier than Alice’s. “Why are you here?” he asked.

  I glanced back at the crown perched regally on Alice’s resting place. Or what I hoped would now be her resting place. “It’s complicated. Who’s that?” I nodded toward the headstone.

  “I have no idea. It says his name is Thomas Ciccone.”

  “Why are you here, sitting in a graveyard, if you don’t know this guy?”

  “It felt weird to go to a party when I could look out the door and see a cemetery. I just couldn’t do it tonight.” He pushed a red leaf into the earth with his finger.

  I didn’t say anything.

  “My brother died seven years ago. He is buried in a cemetery in Atlanta.” Jayden kept his eyes on the leaf. “Marco was sixteen.”

  “I’m sorry.” I knelt next to him.

  “It felt more right to come up here. Even though I know he’s obviously not here. You must think I’m weird.”

  “Not really. You miss your brother.”

  “Yeah. My mom and dad talk about Marco all the time. They are so sad. . . .” Jayden’s voice trailed off as he became lost in his own thoughts.

  And then it occurred to me: the spirit always by Jayden’s side. The teenage boy in the hoodie. Was that Marco?

  “He was a good guy. A great big brother.” Jayden rested his hands on his thighs. “I never told anyone here about him.”

  “I won’t tell,” I promised.

  Jayden slowly reached his hand toward mine.

  Marco was there before I could react. I fell back into the dirt. I tumbled away from Jayden’s touch.

  “Are you okay?” Jayden asked, startled. I seemed to fall—or get pushed over—a lot around him.

  “Fine,” I said, wiping leaves from my skirt and scrambling to my feet.

  I stared at Jayden. Stared at his brother. Did I dare say anything? Did I dare tell Jayden that his brother was standing between us?

  “Sara? Sara? Is that you?” Lily and Miranda hurried across the soccer field. “Quick! The teachers are on patrol. What are you—” They spotted Jayden.

  “Oh, well, hey.” Lily smiled broadly at the two of us. “You should, uh, both get back.”

  “Thanks.” Jayden seemed embarrassed. He headed abruptly toward the music, as if pushed forward by Marco.

  “What were you guys doing?” Miranda demanded.

  Lily grabbed my arm. “We need details,” she whispered.

  I walked with Lily and Miranda a few feet behind Jayden and the glimmering figure of Marco.

  Jayden had tried to hold my hand. He did like me.

  Marco ruined everything.

  I wished I knew why he hated me.

  Why was Marco even here? I wondered. Alice had been stuck in Stellamar for a reason. What kept Marco by Jayden’s side? Had he been there for seven years?

  I knew absolutely nothing about boys, but I wanted to get to know Jayden better. Without him messing it up.

  But how?

  I thought back to Lady Azura and our midnight talk. She said I had potential to do other things. What other things?

  Did I have the power to make Jayden’s brother go away?

  There was a lot I needed to learn.

  Everything changes so fast.

  Yesterday the rides and game stands were all open. The thump of repeating bass lines from the concert on the pier could be heard as far away as the lighthouse. T
housands of people milled about. Laughing. Shouting.

  Today the boardwalk stood eerily quiet.

  No music. No giggling toddlers. No guys haggling you to throw a softball at a milk bottle. Only a few screaming seagulls broke through the Sunday afternoon silence.

  Summer in Stellamar was now officially over. Not officially in the calendar sense. That happened last month. Over, according to the boardwalk—and here in Stellamar, the boardwalk is everything. Last night was the annual October Boardwalk Bash, a town-wide good-bye party to the tourists, the lazy days in the sun, the ever-present carnival.

  I lingered inside the doorway of the arcade and peered out at the now-shuttered stands and frozen Ferris wheel. Only the arcade, the pizza place, the ice cream place, and a hot dog stand or two braved the change of season. Heavy steel-colored clouds crept down to meet the dark waters of the Atlantic. The sand below the boardwalk’s graying wood looked bleak, the colorful kaleidoscope of towels and umbrellas already a memory. The humidity had lifted, blown away along with the scents of cotton candy, popcorn, and grilled sausage and peppers.

  Change was in the air.

  Not a big deal for me. For the past three months, change was all I’d done. New town. New house. New school. New friends.

  Lots of new.

  Without the boardwalk, what would this New Jersey town be like? I wondered. I pulled my hands up into my sweatshirt sleeves. When summer came around again, would I be one of the group? A local? Would that ever happen? Or would I still be the quiet blond girl from California?

  “Hey, Sara. Come play this!” Lily Randazzo called from inside the arcade.

  My new friend.

  Some new was good, I decided as I walked into the warm, yellow glow of the arcade. Lily’s smile rivaled the bright video game lights. Maybe I can really fit in here, I thought. Lily waited by the skee-ball lanes with Miranda Rich and Avery Apolito.

  “Let’s see who can get the highest score,” Miranda challenged us. Miranda liked to turn everything into a competition.

  “I want to take home that pink bear.” Avery pointed to an enormous fuzzy animal that resembled a fat dog more than a bear. Avery was one of the shortest girls in the seventh grade. The bear-dog, dangling on a hook from the wood-beamed ceiling, looked larger than her.