On A Cold Winter's Night

by Leanne Burroughs

  "Of course you're going to stay.” John squeezed Susie's shoulder in reassurance. “We've told you before. This will always be your home, Mark. You grew up here. I would never take that away."

  "What did you do in Chicago, Uncle Mark? Why did you go there if you didn't want to stay?” Kathie asked.

  "I didn't know if I wanted to stay or not. I went to see if I liked it as much as when I lived there."

  "How did you get there?” Ever full of questions, Kathie voiced what everyone else feared to ask.

  "I didn't have any money with me, so I rode the rails."

  "Like a hobo?” Kathie squeaked.

  He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “Exactly like a hobo."

  "But they're—"

  "We saw you left your wallet behind, plus the money from John was still in your sock drawer. And your carpetbag and clothes,” Susie interrupted.

  He took a deep breath and nodded. “I wasn't exactly thinking straight when I left."

  "What did you do in Chicago?” Tommy asked, eyes wide.

  "Mainly wandered the city. Looked at all the places I used to go. The bank where I used to work is gone. It was actually closing when I left, but I went by to make sure. I walked past restaurants I used to eat at, theaters I used to go to, saw a few people I used to know. Most of them are as broke as I am. Although I did see a few people who must have invested their money much better than I. There were still several wealthy people in town. They dined at the fancy restaurants, headed into all the speakeasys I used to frequent."

  Kathie's eyes widened. “Ooo, Mama told us about speakeasys. Said they weren't places kids like me and Tommy could go. Where did you eat, Uncle Mark?"

  He shook his head and grimaced. “You don't want to know, pumpkin.” A shudder passed through him, whether from cold or remembrances, Maddy didn't know.

  "The city didn't have the same pull for me it had while I lived there. It was a miss-out."

  Susie jumped out of her chair and put her hands on her hips. “Our country's in a depression and you were in Chicago playing craps while we were all out of our minds with worry over you?"

  John came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, then eased her down into the chair. “Shhh, sweetheart. Let the man talk."

  A faint smile crossed Mark's lips. “I missed your temper, Sis, but no, I didn't gamble.” He shook his head. “That's just what it felt like to me. Like a losing throw. Once that city had everything I wanted out of life. Fast music, fast cars, fast women. Looking around, walking the streets, I did a lot of thinking.” He looked directly at Maddy. “Chicago has no hold over me anymore. Everything I want in the world is right here. In this house."

  He turned to look at John. “If you're sure you want me to stay, that is."

  John moved to him. Moved Kathie off his lap and pulled Mark to his feet. This time he grasped Mark's hand, pulled him close, and clapped his other arm around him in a totally masculine hug. “I'm sure. Any idea what you want to do?"

  "I want to farm."

  "Glad to hear it,” John said gruffly. Maddy thought she saw a sheen of tears in his eyes. Then again, it was really hard to see anything since she was trying her darnedest not to cry herself. She thought she'd dried all her tears. “But you do that here. Helping me.” A frown crossed John's lined face. Too much time in the sun working long hours.

  "Yes, I do,” Mark agreed, “and we're always busy. Leaves very little time to do anything else. But what about your dream? What if you start to expand?"

  John cleared his throat. “Expand? We can't do any planting with the snow covering the ground, but now that you're here, maybe we can make some plans. Or maybe we could go over to Maddy's and fix a few more things inside the house."

  Mark looked at Maddy again. She wasn't sure what she saw in his eyes. Uncertainty maybe?

  "Well, actually, I have a proposition for you. I can't stay here forever and live off your generosity."

  "It's not gen—” Susie started before John placed a hand on her shoulder to silence her again.

  "A proposition?” John said.

  "Yes. I did a lot of thinking while I was gone. Thinking about what I wanted to do with my future. When I first got here, you talked a lot about wanting to expand the farm, but not having any room to grow. What if we go into partnership—although I'm the first to admit I don't have much capital—and we add another property to what you already farm?"

  John arched a brow and pulled up a chair beside Mark. “Go on. And where do you plan on getting this land to farm?"

  Mark turned to Maddy. “That's where your sister comes in.” He turned and extended a hand to her. “Maddy is going to give us the land. Then, when we bring in the crops, she'll make a profit on the land. Enough to continue renovations if she chooses."

  He stopped, giving the idea time to sink in. When no one spoke, he said, “Any questions?"

  "Yes.” Maddy pulled her hand out of his. She frowned, not in the least pleased with the idea. “What if I don't want to lease my land? I happen to like it the way it is."

  "Dormant? No life to it? Life's too short not to live, Maddy. I think someone very special I know told me that. Of course, I wasn't listening at the time."

  "I don't know.” She turned to her brother. “I'd really planned working that with my—” She stopped, unwilling to embarrass herself further. How could she have read everything wrong all those months? She guessed she'd just wanted it too much and saw what she wanted to see.

  "What if I ever get married—although I doubt it now—and my husband wants to work the land? What do I do then if we already have this agreement?"

  "Won't be a single conflict. I assure you."

  "You seem pretty sure of yourself.” She chafed under his words. So she'd never meant anything to him but a simple diversion. How embarrassing. Guess there were quite a few things she'd missed in school. Maybe she should go back and take a refresher course. Maybe they actually had a class on dissecting men. Seeing what made them tick. She sure hadn't found out this go-round.

  "If your husband wants to spend his time working the land, I'm certainly not going to protest. Hopefully John won't either."

  John had a mystified look on his face. “Why the old homestead? I told you once Maddy wanted to live there full time some day. It seems rather heartless to put her in a predicament where she might have to move out of there. What if we hire someone and he takes a shine to the place and decides he needs to live there?” His fingers tightened on the chair in front of him.

  "Turning Maddy out won't happen. I assure you I've thought this through. The new tenant won't in any way want Maddy to leave the land. As a matter of fact, I've spoken to the gentleman about this idea at length. Actually took awhile to talk him into it, but now he's embracing it wholeheartedly. He can't wait to get started."

  Maddy opened and closed her mouth, but said nothing. Until she lost her temper. “You've already talked to someone about using my land? How dare you? You had no right. You walked out on me. What if I want to get married and my husband wants to do something with that land? Or don't my feelings count here?"

  His face lit up with a smile. The first full smile they'd seen since he walked in the door. “Your feelings definitely count."

  "But . . .” She tried to pull her hand out of his, but he held tight and pulled her closer. His eyes glittered with mischief.

  "Then how can you talk about giving away my land? I thought you loved the farm. I thought you loved—” She stopped and shook her head. He finally released her hand. “Never mind. That doesn't matter anymore.” Her lips quivered. “Are you going to give away my house, too? Does this man plan on moving in there like he owns the place?"

  "As a matter of fact, he does."

  John straightened in his chair, a frown marring his brow.

  Maddy strode closer to wipe the smile off his face, but his words stopped her cold. “In case you didn't understand, that was a proposal."

  Heat rose to her face and s
he stopped. Drat, she really did hate blushing. “That was a proposal?"

  "Yep."

  "Certainly not very romantic. What makes you think I'd marry you?” She strode right up to him and glared at him, her hands on her hips.

  "Because you love me."

  She huffed. “Well, you sure seem pretty sure of yourself."

  He pulled her down into his lap as if they were the only two people in the room and caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Don't you think it's about time? You were right about the house. I fell in love with it the first time I went over there to work on it for you."

  She arched a brow. “You're marrying me to get my house?"

  "No, I'm marrying you because I love you.” He leaned forward and kissed her lips.

  Footsteps leaving the kitchen were the only sounds to be heard. Maddy didn't notice anything else as Mark's lips claimed hers in a long, passionate kiss.

  * * * *

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  Chapter Six

  * * * *

  "Mama, can Tommy and I go outside to build a snowman?” Kathie let the gingham blue curtains fall back into place as she turned away from the window. “It's so pretty out there."

  Susie thought a minute and then acquiesced. “May I,” she corrected. “And yes, if you make sure you bundle up. Wear your heavy coat, mittens, and your galoshes."

  The words were barely out of Susie's mouth when Kathie ran into the living room yelling, “Tommy, come on. Mama said we can go outside. I want to build a snowman."

  "Does Mama have anything we can use for his face? We can't have a snowman without a face."

  Susie chuckled as the children entered the kitchen to pull on their galoshes.

  Kathie looked over her shoulder. “Do you, Mama?"

  "I have some old buttons I think might work. We can fetch them out of the yard after the snow melts.” She went upstairs to get them from her button box. Back in the kitchen, she crossed to the steps down to the cellar, then came back up holding a carrot. “I can't give you the whole thing since we need it for food, but what if I break off the tip for you to use for the nose?"

  The children squealed in delight.

  She held the door open for them to head outside. “Don't stay out there too long now. I thought we bake some gingerbread men today. Aunt Maddy told me she'd be over early today."

  While the children were outside, Susie drew a deep breath and looked up the stairs. She didn't want to go up there, but she needed to go into Mama's room. Help me, God. I'm not sure I can do this alone. John told me he'd go in there with me, but I need to do this myself.

  She took hold of the banister and went up the first step. God, this is so hard. I've been in that room all my life, but Mama isn't there anymore. Sunday after church I came home to tell her the text the preacher quoted, only to remember she wasn't here. How am I—

  She pushed open the door. Memories flooded through her and tears came. She couldn't stop them.

  Easing inside, she moved toward the bed her parents had shared her entire life. Maddy had insisted on taking the bedding home and washing it. She'd felt weak letting her do it, yet hadn't thought she could have handled it right then. But life had to go on. She sat on the bed and ran her hand over the quilted comforter.

  That's where John found her. Crying her heart out, lying on the bed like she had when she'd been a little girl.

  He crossed to her quickly, sat on the bed, and pulled her into his arms. “Shhh. That's my girl. Let it out, Sweetheart. You've tried to be so strong for everyone else. It's time you grieved for yourself. I love you.” He held her, rocking her until her tears calmed and she fell asleep.

  * * * *

  Susie brushed her hair out of her eyes and sat up. “I can't believe I did that. I feel so weak."

  "There's nothing weak or fragile about loving someone and grieving for them when they're gone,” John told her. “Knowing Mama's in a better place and that we'll see her again some day helps, but the human side of us misses her. That's normal, and it will take some time for us to heal. That's one of the things your brother didn't understand after she died. He didn't allow himself time to grieve. Didn't want to. Instead, his pain turned to anger. At us and at God.” He looked around the room. “You sure you feel up to going through some of her things?"

  A weak smile crossed her lips. “I am, but I need you here with me."

  John crossed to the closet and brought a few boxes down from the top shelves. He brought them to the bed so they could open them together.

  Carefully, Susie lifted the lid off the first box. A small note lay atop fleece material. She lifted her gaze to John, frowning. “John, what's this?"

  He smiled. “Well, not that I have the answers to everything, mind you, but I think if you read the note, you might find out.” His grin widened.

  "Oh, you're teasing me."

  He drew her closer to himself and lightly ran the back of his fingers over her cheeks and down her neck. “Oh, yeah. But I really think you should read the note."

  Susie lifted it out of the box as if it were a snake and might bite her. When she read it, she burst into tears again.

  Worry crossed John's eyes and he pulled the note away from her and read it. “To my darling Susie. I love you more than I can ever say. You've been my bright and shining star from the time you toddled around the yard until even now as the mother of my dear grandchildren. You rarely think of yourself when making clothes, so hopefully this will help keep you warm this winter. I love you, my precious child. Merry Christmas. All my love, Mama."

  His eyes widened in surprise. “A Christmas present. Oh, sweetheart, I never thought of that. I bet your mother worked on presents throughout the year and has them squirreled all through this room. You know how much she enjoyed making things for everyone."

  Susie bobbed her head up and down, then worried her lips between her teeth, unable to speak. Hesitantly, she lifted the items out of the box. A light green sweater, neck scarf and crocheted hat. Susie held them to her heart.

  Taking a deep breath, she folded the items, placed them back in the box, and set the note on the top.

  She reached for another box, then handed the note to John. “To my other son. Love made you a part of this family when you were the smallest of boys. Marriage made you the son I always hoped you'd become when you married my Susie. And you've been the head of our household since my beloved husband crossed over to God's open arms. I entrust my entire family to you as I go to join him. I love you, Mama."

  John raised his head to look at Susie. He didn't say a word, but suspected his eyes said it all. She knew.

  * * * *

  "Hey, Sis, we're home,” Mark called. “Maddy said something about baking cookies and starting Christmas decorations."

  John and Susie walked hand in hand down the steps. “Hey, you okay?” Mark asked. “You look like you've been crying."

  Reaching the landing, Susie went to Mark and pulled him into a hug. “Yes, I've been crying, but John was with me the whole time and I'm okay now.” She glanced back at John. “Better than okay.” Tugging on Mark's arm, she headed toward the doorway. “Come on into the kitchen. You can help with the gingerbread men."

  Mark laughed in merriment. “Help? I thought I was going to help by eating them. You sure you want me near baking materials?” He cast a glance at her hair. “You really want me near the flour?"

  She rubbed her chin with her fingers. “Good point. How about you go with John and help him bring down the Christmas presents and decorations stored in the attic?” Both men headed upstairs. “Be careful. Some of those things are heirlooms."

  "Just like a woman,” Mark grumbled, though he fought a smile. “Give us a job and then think we can't do it."

  "Wait a minute,” she called after them. She quickly turned to Maddy. “Are you going to decorate your house, too? I think we have enough stored upstairs that you can use some of it. Along with whatever you probably have in your attic, I'll bet t
he house will take on a real festive look this year. And considering how much the children love to decorate, they'd be tickled pink to decorate two houses."

  "I was hoping to do something. I didn't last year, and then felt guilty that I didn't. But it was just too depressing. Now I'm looking forward to starting new traditions.” She glanced up at Mark. He stood on the stairs waiting for Susie to decide how much he and John were going to have to lug down.

  "So what you're saying, in your non-asking statement, is that John and I need to cut two trees this year instead of one.” He glanced up at John, leaning against the spindled balustrade. “Think we got recruited for more than we planned, old buddy."

  "Nah, you get used to it. Usually they come up with work ideas and pretend they were our ideas in the first place. You'll see. Just wait until you tie the knot. And speaking of, have you two set a date yet?"

  "Yep.” Mark didn't doubt his eyes lit with the happiness he felt. “December 21st."

  Susie squealed. “Oh, how wonderful, Maddy. A Christmas bride. That's awfully quick, but we can do it!” She walked to her friend and hugged her.

  Mark winked at John. “Actually, I picked that date since it's the longest night of the year.” He turned and followed John.

  Below them, both women shouted, “Mark!"

  He ignored them and continued up to the attic, chuckling all the way.

  * * * *

  "We're driving over to Claremont City for a few hours today. I promised Mark we could go see the movie that came out last month with John Wayne and Tyrone Power. He told me the name, but I don't remember.” She rolled her eyes at the oversight. “I think he said The Big Trail. The only reason we can go is because the theatre lowered their prices due to the drop in attendance. They're even supposed to be giving away door prizes. I'm hoping we win and get something we can use at the house."

  "That sounds wonderful, Maddy. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. Maybe John and I will go with you in the spring, right before planting starts."

  "Mark promised me the next one we go see will be for me. The Blue Angel with Marlene Dietrich. When he heard there was singing in it, he wasn't too thrilled, but he'd already committed.” She started humming, Falling In Love Again, Can't Help It.