Big Dog

by Dane, Ryder

  “I checked my bank account. Merlin has used almost a half of a million dollars over the years for his drug habits, and his lover, did you know that? I have less than ten thousand dollars left in the bank.” She looked at her daughter’s shocked expression, and saw that she had Oracle’s full attention. “I probably should start from the beginning.” She sighed, and began her tale. “Merlin and I were best friends, we became roommates years ago. I always knew he was gay, but in those days, they didn’t come out of the closet like they do nowadays. Anyway, I was a bit wild you know. He was crazy about motorcycles and wanted to join a gang because he liked the life. I took a few lovers, but never found my Mr. Right. When I found out I was pregnant with you, it was like I’d found my true purpose in life.

  “Merlin had parted ways with his lover and we decided to raise you together. Kids should have both a mother and a father you know. I’m sorry I let him use you as a way to be important in the club, my dear. It kept him out of my hair so I could work on my equations and programs, and you were so young that I didn’t think you minded the extra attention. I wasn’t much of a mother, I see that now. It wasn’t until you went missing that I realized how isolated you must have felt.

  “When you didn’t come back, Merlin began taking more drugs. I expected that your friends would come around asking if there was any word about you.” She looked up at Future and there were tears now in both of their eyes. “I couldn’t believe no one asked, no young women showed up to ask. At the club, no one spoke your name, like you had never been there. It made me mad, and I was certain you were alive, and no one cared but me.

  “I decided I was going to hire a Nomad like Demon to find you. Merlin didn’t want to waste the money, and when I saw my account, I found out why. He bought a new bike for his lover. On the weekends, when he swore he was looking for your body, or some real proof that you were dead or alive, he’d been in a hotel room shacked up with his boyfriend using the money I’ve earned.”

  She wiped at her eyes, “I could have gotten Big Dog to send Knight or Demon to find you, if I had any idea where to look. I would have to reimburse the club for the use of their resources, but that didn’t matter. Having you back is what matters and I just wish you’d contacted me and let me know you were alive. I am having a very hard time forgiving you for leaving me to think you might be dead. I know we weren’t the best parents in the world, but we love you.”

  “Mom, I left and stayed gone because I was betrayed by the club. Or I thought I had been at the time. Even dad was always setting me up like a circus act. If he knew I was alive and still able to speak, he would move heaven and earth to drag me back here so he could keep his status as the handler of the psychic witch. I hated it, I hated all of it. I still won’t use my ability unless I have no choice.

  “It would be so easy to sell the bar and come back here, especially now that, well you might as well hear it from me first. I had a sex session with Big Dog, and some well meaning asshole will tell you anyway. He isn’t going to be easy to forget. I feel things for him that I never expected to have in my life and touching him, I know he feels the same. We work, even when we shouldn't, and deep down in each of us is a need that when we are together, it's filled. I've dealt with strange shit my whole life but I have to say, what I feel for him, it came out of nowhere. But neither of us has mentioned any long term relationship plans.” Her mother didn’t appear to be surprised, and all she did was nod her head.

  Future was beyond shocked, her parents, who she’d always seen as supportive of each other, were total opposites, and to find out that Merlin was gay, was completely out of left field. Her mother appeared to be waiting for her to say something, but what could she say? Merlin’s betrayals were more than a grieving mother should be forced to live with. His theft of her life savings to finance his habits and current partner were past contemptible?

  “All right, Mother, what do you want to do, and when do you want to do it? You are certainly welcome to come and stay with me. My house isn’t fancy, but it’s more than big enough for the two of us. You can even have your own office there, and I promise, you won’t have to worry about me draining your bank account. I make a decent living at the bar.”

  They talked through most of the night. Merlin never showed and since her mother didn’t seem concerned, she didn’t question his absence. They decided that Muffy would begin packing her personal belongings and arranging the cabin for Merlin’s occupancy only. She wasn’t going to leave him penniless, but after the five thousand she would be leaving him was gone, he would be on his own. “There is only the ten thousand in this account, and that is all he knows about, thankfully I made arrangements for the new account to be used for electronic payments to be transferred to, so he has no clue, especially now that I sold my latest software program. The technology is advancing so fast that I have been working ten hours a week, just to keep up.”

  *****

  Future woke feeling mentally fit, there was no lingering haze of her usual restless sleeping habits, and although she missed the feelings that Big Dog had left her body with yesterday, it was probably better they make a clean break of things. There had been no promises or demands for a deeper relationship with him. She owed him for showing her that she didn’t have to have intense pain to orgasm, and she owed him for the trust he’d placed in her word. Saying goodbye to him would be tough, but she had a life elsewhere, and he had his own responsibilities here. She wondered what she would do if he asked her to stay, as independent as she was, becoming a secondary priority to a man with no promises of mutual love between the two of them would never work. She couldn't reach his deepest feelings as she could with others, they were locked against her touch, only allowing her the slightest peek. And with harden men like Big Dog, it's not easy to know where you stand. Plus, she couldn’t just walk away from the bar. Well, she could, but not without some assurances of his feelings for her. For knowing a man only few days, she was way too involved.

  Her mother must have thrown the lightweight blanket over her sleeping body, and it gave her a warm feeling. That was a typical mom gesture. She hadn’t realized she had missed those small things, until now.

  They had bagels and coffee for breakfast, and Future promised to return in two weeks with a moving van and help her mother move her things to her house.

  Future walked back to the club, she needed to get her saddlebags, and say goodbye to Big Dog and a few others that had felt comfortable enough to say hello. There was a feeling of hollowness inside of her at the thought of leaving the big man that she hadn’t expected to feel.

  Little Kevin was running around outside with two of his friends, dodging between the bikes in the parking lot with guns that shot sponge missiles. The sight of the kids playing made her smile, but knowing that some of those bikes had guns hidden in saddlebags, under seats and strapped to the bikes in different areas, gave her visions of death, bloody death. The vision stopped her from moving and when Kevin ran into her, she held onto him and called the other two boys over. She saw a biker that looked familiar, and alarm ran over her sensors. He was a threat. He was still far enough away that she might be able to make it to the safety of the building, but with the three boys, she didn’t dare chance a run for it. She bent over Kevin and his two friends came closer.

  “I see you are playing war out here, but it’s not as good a place as the trees out back. I want you guys to be good at sneaking up on each other and your enemy, so I want you to crawl through the bikes right there.” She pointed to the line of bikes in the next to last row. “You keep crawling, stay down until you reach the gate, you’re lucky I can see that its open right now, or the enemy would hear it squeak. When you have cleared the gate, run into the trees and stay there hiding from the enemy until me or Knight comes to find you. Can you do that?” They all nodded and she pretended to time them by looking at her phone’s clock. “Okay, men, no matter what you hear, carry out your mission.”

  There was only twenty-five feet from where
they dropped to their knees and began to crawl, until they reached the gate, and safety. She kept the man in her sight, as she moved through the sea of bikes. He started moving faster, and she sped up her steps. She saw a bike in front of her and eyed the bulging bag hanging over the rear fender. She dropped down to reach in the bag, and found nothing but clothing, and a plastic bag filled with herb.

  She popped her head up and the guy took a shot at her, narrowly missing the gas tank of a rat bike. She ran toward the entrance of the building, now that she’d drawn him away from the boys. She knew he was too close for her to reach safety, and stayed crouched behind the Boss Hoss that sat in the front row, with its customized trunk that contained a rumble seat that was rarely used. The sidecar was a miniature version of a 1970s Boss Mustang. Both were painted mirror black with silver stripes and lots of chrome. The club owned the thing, and fondly called it the Limo.

  She could hear him calling out to her, trying to strike terror into her, he had to know she was trying to wait him out. And when she heard his step directly behind her, she knew her time had run out. He lifted his foot and connected with her shoulder to knock her down.

  Seeing that her assailant was Dorsey’s buddy, Krebs, didn’t surprise her. Dorsey would be too cowardly to attempt something this stupid. He raised the gun and said, “You shoulda’ stayed dead, bitch.” She kicked her leg up as the gun went off. The toe of her foot connected with his knee, and he lurched to the side. The rocks next to her stomach kicked up, but he didn’t get another shot off. There was a throwing knife sticking out of his neck, and his eyes were raised to see who the knife belonged to. She didn’t bother to look, his fingers were beginning to tighten on the gun and she kicked his kneecap with everything she could and he yelled, then as he started to fall, he squeezed the trigger again and gurgled blood when the bullet hit his foot. She rolled away from his falling body, getting out of the way for the men who descended on them.

  Crazy Charlie pulled her by the arm and bent to help her stand. She was fine, there were a few scratches from the sharp rocks cutting her arm, but she was alright. “That was a good throw with the dagger, thank you.” He nodded and looked to where the body of Krebs was lying.

  “I’m going home, this is getting dangerous for me around here. He was with Dorsey that night of the attack, and he just told me I should have stayed dead. Dorsey is a chicken shit coward, and he will never show his face when other people might be around.” She asked him to find the children and make sure they were safe. “You might want to let their parents know they were playing out here between the bikes.”

  Charlie agreed with her. “Those little critters aren’t ‘spossed to be out here anyway. I know for a fact they’ve been told not to be out front. So there’s gonna be some sore asses by bedtime unless I miss my guess.”

  She didn’t see Big Dog before she left. He hadn’t been at the club or in his side of the duplex when she retrieved her saddlebags and clothes from his place. Butch stopped her on her way to the door.

  “Where do you think you’re going, Future? Nobody told me you were leaving.”

  She wasn’t in the mood for the macho shit she knew he liked to lecture about. Butch was a great guy to have at your back in a fight. He was smart, and his wife was beautiful. He was also a chauvinist down to his toenails.

  “Big Dog gave me my ride back, it's right out front in the lot, and I have a business to run at home. I did everything that was asked of me, and now it’s time to leave.”

  When he shook his head, she was afraid he was going to ground her to the club, but he told her to wait a few minutes and left the room. Fifteen minutes later, he came back with Freakshow and a new patch they called Larry.

  “The boys will ride with you to keep you company. I’m warning you right now in front of them, if you try to ditch them, they’re gonna call me or Big Dog, and you will not like what happens then. You feel me?”

  Chapter Nine

  The ride home was uneventful. They spent the night in a cozy mom and pop motor inn lodge that had to have been in use since the Fifties. The sheets were clean and the bathrooms spotless. There was cable television, but Future was too tired to bother watching the news. Freakshow and Larry called for takeout pizza and they ate in her room. They talked about Larry’s family and his brother who was serving time for armed robbery. Larry came from Fresno. He had a small speech impediment, but when he slowed down, he spoke clearly enough to understand what he was saying. He was a nice guy that wanted a place to belong, and the Bastards was the place he decided to stay.

  Freakshow told her she could call him Mathew on the road. “My mother is a strict Catholic and wanted me to be a priest. My father wanted me to leave home, so I wouldn’t embarrass him because of my tats and the gauged ears.”

  They talked about all kinds of things, and she worried at first that Mathew would mention her scars, but he never did. She told them they could stay at her place for a day or two if they wanted to look around the city, and even invited them to come to the bar and she would introduce them to a few ladies if they were interested. That offer got big grins from both men. They went to their room and she promised to wake them if she decided to leave early.

  She might have only slept with Big Dog, actually slept with him for a few hours, but she missed the warmth and comfort of his body lying next to hers. She was sorry that he wasn’t at the club when she was ready to leave because she had plans for that body of his. Unfortunately, she was deprived of his company, and had he known it, he was deprived of her plans to have his prick in her mouth for a going away, thank you kind of gift.

  At five a.m. she was ready to go. She tried watching the news, but seeing the rescue people recovering the body of a long time drug user with ties to the Burning Bastards Motorcycle Club from the trash dumpster behind City Hall, made her shudder. Krebs was a lousy excuse for a human being to begin with, to feel only relief at the death of another human being made her what? Human? Knowing there was one who deserved death even more, made her shut the news off and wake up the men.

  If they pushed it, they could be at her place before ten tonight.

  They got to the bar at ten thirty, and she opened the delivery door in back of the building so they could all park their bikes inside for the night. They walked through the back lot and she unlocked the gate for them to walk through her backyard to the house. The place impressed Mathew and he praised the setup.

  “It’s cool. You got a great place here. It would make a cool clubhouse too.”

  She laughed at his enthusiasm. “No way, you guys would drink up all my profits, and I’d be panhandling on a street corner to pay the mortgage. Not to mention, my mother is going to come live with me in a couple of weeks. She is planning to turn one of the bedrooms into her very own computer heaven.”

  They’d stopped for a quick dinner on the way home, so she showed them the two spare rooms that had beds. One was a bit on the frilly side but she gave them the choice of who would bunk in where. “You two hash it out, the bathrooms across the hall between the rooms, so I think that’s probably all you might need for the night. There is frozen dinners in the freezer and soft drinks in the fridge if you get hungry or thirsty. Help yourselves.”

  At midnight her phone played its silly little tune and she glanced at the number before accepting the call. His voice made her smile, even as he bitched at her for leaving without saying goodbye. “What the hell, Future, you don’t just walk away after the things we did woman. I was in court for Kevin, Butch said he didn’t think it was your business, so he didn’t tell you where I was. I figured we’d have more time to get to know each other better. I’m more than a sex object you know. I even own a home, a goat that mows the lawn at the house, and a big damn hive of yellow jackets in the backyard that I can’t get near enough to burn out yet.”

  She couldn’t help it, she laughed, “You’re a regular citizen there. Tell me, what would the world think if they knew the president of the badassed bikers was a taxpaying homeow
ner? I heard Seth talking to Tiny about a semi truck repair shop by the way. Since I passed it at the interchange on the highway ramp, I thought the name Big Dog’s Diesel was kinda catchy. Looks legit to me.”

  When he didn't laugh, instead staying silent, she sighed and continued.

  “I needed to get back to the bar, Clem was having issues with personnel, and I have to deal with it tomorrow.”

  “Dammit, when they told me about Krebs. I wanted to kill the fucker myself.”

  Their conversation lasted through the next two hours. He told her to, “Keep it warm for me, I’ll be visiting as soon as I can get away. Oh, and if Show or Larry touched you, I'm going to kill them. I don’t share my guns, my bank account, or my woman unless I am there at the time. Remember it.”

  They said their goodbyes and she laid her phone on the bedside table. A single tear slid down her cheek as she rolled to her side, grabbing the extra pillow and squeezed it tight, missing him already.

  *****

  She was awake by six a.m. and dragging ass around the kitchen, making coffee, and trying to figure out what she had on hand to fix for breakfast. Eggs, cheese, and some frozen sausage patties that she didn’t remember buying were in the freezer.

  She was listening to the morning news when Mathew came in the room. He had a couple of sheets of drawing paper in his hand, and handed them to her as he passed by her chair on his way to the coffeepot.

  At first glance, she was embarrassed that he’d remembered what her back looked like. As her eyes traveled down the first page, she could see her crude scars were being transformed into a beautiful scene.

  The area under the ravaged melted wing depicted a bike, with more bikes in a progression of smaller images, until it appeared the wing covered and protected a sea of motorcycles. Above the word ‘FALLEN’, as the word ‘THE’, and the ‘AN’, was completed in ink as ‘ANGEL’. ‘FALLEN’ had a colon and an S added. For the words ‘THE FALLEN’S ANGEL’. The scene was color coded, with notations, and she knew she had to have this done. The scars were ugly, yet they could be used as a rough sketch for a good tattoo artist. Her fingers followed each line and she thought of the possibilities.