“If we are back home by three, then yes, as I have a counselling appointment. I would be delighted to spend the evening with you and your wife.”
“Cool. Come to see us around seven o'clock.”
The customer signalled Joe’s attention. He rushed off to aid the customer and Stephanie took Meredith’s hand again and led her through the back room and up into her apartment.
“It shouldn’t take me too long to pack. I don’t have much. Most of the furniture is Joe’s and anything we can’t fit in the car I can have shipped.”
“Are you sure about this?” Meredith fidgeted from foot to foot, her nerves palpable. “What I said to Joe downstairs is true; however, if you have even the slightest doubt, please let me know now.”
“I have never been surer about anything in my life.” Stephanie slowly went to her and kissed her on the lips. Meredith's skin flushed. The corners of her mouth turned up into a soft smile.
“Thank you.”
“Let's start packing.”
She moved away from Meredith, going into the small kitchen to start unloading her pots and pans from the cupboards. Curiosity got the better of her.
“So, um, what did Joe say to you when he came over to you.” She hoped it came out as casual, however, the stumbling over her words didn’t go unnoticed by her or Meredith.
“Oh, nothing much.” Meredith came into the kitchen also, a slight smirk on her face. “Don’t worry, he behaved himself.” She must have realised how worried Stephanie was because she followed up. “He apologised for the things he said about me and then we were talking about your drawings. You have quite a unique style.”
Stephanie blew out a breath and faced her. “I haven’t really done much in the last few years, what with working with Joe, but back when I did my degree, I was doodling quite a lot.”
“I wouldn’t call it doodling. There is something very dark and beautiful about the way you capture your subject. Do you have any more? I would love to see them.”
Stephanie brushed passed Meredith and went into her bedroom, coming back a few moments later with a sketchpad in hand. She gave it to Meredith.
“Some of these are pretty bad, but go ahead, take a look.” She left Meredith in the kitchen, browsing her sketchpad while she popped back downstairs to ask Joe if he had any boxes she could use. A few minutes later she came back into the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks. Meredith was staring at one of her drawings and Stephanie could clearly see the tears in her eyes.
“What’s the matter?”
Meredith turned to her and held up a sketch of a young girl sat in the dark, knees drawn to her chest, her face turned to the artist. The pain on the girl’s face was clear.
“This is you, isn't it?”
Stephanie put down the boxes and walked over to Meredith, quickly glancing at the sketch and back to her. “Yes. I think I was about twenty-two when I drew that.”
Meredith reached out a hand and placed it on her cheek, softly stroking the skin with her thumb. “Oh, sweetheart, you must have been so lonely growing up.”
“It’s okay. Everything that has happened to me has led me to you.” Stephanie smiled.
“But still, I’m so sorry you had no one.”
Before Stephanie could get overemotional, she pulled back and scrubbed her hands over her face. “Now isn’t the time to be getting into all that, we have packing to do.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Thank you, Fiona,” Meredith said. “That was delicious.” She placed her knife and fork down onto the plate and rubbed her stomach. “I’m stuffed.”
“I have to agree,” Stephanie said. “Fiona, you have outdone yourself.”
The four of them sat around Joe and Fiona’s dining room table. It was eight thirty at night and Meredith and Stephanie had arrived an hour earlier. After finishing packing up Stephanie’s things, they had driven around York with Stephanie playing tour guide. They had a lovely afternoon walking around the area in the late August sun.
“Well, I didn’t get much notice you were coming so I couldn’t do anything too fancy, but nothing beats chilli.” Fiona stood, picking up her plate.
“Sit.” Meredith motioned to the table. “I'll get this as you cooked.”
“I’ll help,” Joe said as he collected the plate Fiona was still holding. He looked from Stephanie to his wife. “Maybe you two can catch up without us earwigging.” He winked at Fiona and gave her a loving smile that in turn made Meredith smile too. It was clear how much they loved each other, and she couldn’t help but glance at Stephanie who was watching her. She felt her cheeks heat in response to the sexy smile directed her way.
She cleared her throat and, after stacking up some of the tableware, she followed Joe into the kitchen. He opened the dishwasher and began placing the plates into the rack. She stood next to him, passing him the things she held. After a few moments of silence, she asked, “So, do I pass the test?”
His actions stilled as he glanced at her. “Don’t know what you mean.” He continued filling the dishwasher.
“Joe...” She put her hand on his arm, pleased with herself that her fear of touch was gradually disappearing, and waited until he straightened and faced her. She dropped her hand and said, “I know you have concerns over Steph and me, and I fully understand them. We have reservations too, but it would mean a lot if we had your blessing. This is new to her and having your support would mean the world.”
Joe studied her face for a moment, looking for what she didn’t know. He surprised her when he gently traced the thin, fading scar on her cheek. She kept still, not letting her anxiety get the better of her. He withdrew his hand and ran his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated.
“I like you, Meredith, I really do. I can see why Steph has fallen for you. After the things you’ve both been through, I can see she was right. You are a strong person and it upsets me you went through it, and her.”
A small smile formed on her lips as Meredith thought he had finally accepted their relationship. He may have given his blessings earlier in the gallery, but she needed to make sure. It looked like he had been sincere earlier, however, he had more to say.
“But I can’t say I’m thrilled about her moving to Bristol with you. Before you say anything, let me finish. She had an awful start to life and was only just beginning to get her head sorted. She has friends and a decent job. She’s like my sister and I’d do anything to protect her. I wasn’t there for her when that prick took her, and I let her down. I won’t let that happen again. I won’t have her getting hurt again by anyone and if that means I have to upset her to protect her, then I will.”
Meredith let his words sink in, trying to figure out how to convince him she wasn’t going to hurt Stephanie. She knew she couldn’t say anything to change his mind. Instead, she was honest with him.
“I can’t promise things will always be easy between us, and she might get hurt sometimes, but what I can do is promise that I will do whatever it takes to protect her and not hurt her intentionally. I love her, and if I do something to hurt her, I’ll be the first person knocking on your door, so you can kick my ass.”
He stared at her for a moment, then let out a chuckle. “Good enough.” He smiled and shook his head, turning serious again. “Please take care of her.”
“I will.”
Stephanie came into the kitchen. “Hey, what's taking so long? I want my dessert.”
“Sorry, Squirt. I was just asking her about her intentions toward you.”
Stephanie looked from one to the other. “You better not have upset her, Joe.”
Meredith went to Stephanie’s side and placed an arm around her waist. She kissed her cheek. “Don't worry. He was just being a big brother.”
Stephanie didn’t look convinced and Meredith knew she would be asked about it later. For now, though, she headed back into the dining room to finish clearing the table, determined to enjoy the rest of the evening. Joe’s worries and doubts were not far from her mind.
&
nbsp; †
Later that night Stephanie and Meredith were lying in bed together in Joe’s spare bedroom. Meredith’s head rested on Stephanie’s shoulder, her arm draped over her waist. It was close to midnight and Meredith was shattered. It had been a very long day and she was looking forward to a good night’s rest and she knew sleeping in Stephanie’s arms would help her relax. Hopefully, tonight would be nightmare free. She felt Stephanie tighten her hold on her and she knew without asking what was on her mind. After they had gone back into the dining room Stephanie had been quiet, and although she still joined in on the conversations and joking around, Meredith could tell the scene in the kitchen was playing heavily on her mind.
“Do you want to talk about it or are you just going to continue to sulk?”
“I'm not sulking.”
Meredith kissed her shoulder and waited until Stephanie was ready to talk. She didn’t have to wait long.
“I guess I’m still annoyed at Joe for warning you off again.”
Meredith sat up and entwined her fingers with Stephanie’s. “He didn’t warn me off.” At Stephanie's raised eyebrows, she said, “He didn’t, I promise. He just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to hurt you. He loves you. I’d be worried if he didn’t say anything.”
Stephanie shuffled up the bed into a sitting position and blew out a breath. “I guess I can understand his fears. I sometimes wonder if you’ll hurt me too.” Meredith pulled back and Stephanie must have realised how that sounded as she quickly reached for her to stop her leaving the bed. “That’s not what I meant, Meredith. Please just let me explain.”
Meredith gazed at her and the panic on her face didn’t go unnoticed. She had her reservations about their relationship too, but she knew in her heart she loved Stephanie and would do whatever it took to make it work between them. To hear that Stephanie thought she might hurt her tore her up. She thought they were in the same place, that although they met under difficult circumstances, their attraction to each other was real. Meredith knew Stephanie would never hurt her, why didn’t Stephanie feel the same? She pushed aside her fear of what Stephanie was about to say.
“Okay, talk to me.” Meredith settled next to her against the headboard and held her hand.
“I know we have something special, but I also know the things you’re struggling with and how we met. I just have this fear that one day you’ll wake up and you won’t need me anymore.”
“What? What do you think is going on here?” Meredith let go of Stephanie’s hand and this time she did get out of bed. She crossed to the other side of the small room and sat back on an ornate dressing table. “I told you I was falling in love with you. I’ve asked you to move in with me. What more can I do to prove to you that I’m serious about us? Do you think I’m just waiting until I’m emotionally and physically healed and I’ll then dump you?”
Stephanie said nothing. Her head hung low and she sat very still. She didn’t look at Meredith and Meredith feared that that was exactly what she thought.
“You need to explain this to me, Steph, because I'm confused.” Eventually, Stephanie looked up and the vulnerability Meredith saw broke her heart. “What is it?” she asked softly.
“Everyone leaves.”
Those two words whispered so quietly she strained to hear them, had Meredith striding across the room and gathering Stephanie up into a fierce hug. “Oh, sweetheart. Do you really think that?”
“My heart says no but my dumb head keeps getting in the way. I’m sorry.”
Meredith pulled back slightly and captured Stephanie’s guarded gaze with her own. “You don’t ever need to apologise for feeling something you feel. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I want to go on this journey with you. I have no intention of ever letting you go. I love you.” This was the first time she said the words directly, not alluding to it or suggesting she was falling in love. Meredith did love her and Stephanie needed to hear it so she could start believing it. Meredith hugged her again.
“I know I still have some things to work through and so do you, but we’re going to do it together, okay?”
Stephanie didn’t answer, but Meredith felt her nod against her neck. They sat that way for a while, neither speaking, but holding each other close.
“I love you, too, Mare. So much.”
Meredith smiled and allowed the feeling those words had on her to flow through her and settle into her heart.
Chapter Twenty
The following morning, Meredith and Stephanie stood next to Stephanie’s car, saying goodbye to Joe and Fiona. They all had a simple breakfast of toast and coffee and Meredith was eager to get on the road. She was not looking forward to the six-hour drive back to Bristol. She had her appointment with her counsellor at three that afternoon and she wanted to make sure she was back in plenty of time. Waking up at 6 o’clock that morning had been hard, especially lying in Stephanie’s arms. Not soon after their conversation last night they had both fallen into a deep sleep. Meredith hoped the matter was now settled, and Stephanie believed she would never leave her.
Meredith certainly had plenty to talk to her counsellor about. She was looking forward to discussing the recent developments in her relationship with Stephanie, and her feelings toward Jameson West, and the way she was now coping with interacting with people. She had gotten better with coping. She had managed to engage with Joe and had allowed him to touch her cheek, and both times she hadn’t flinched. She had been a little panicked, but nowhere near the way she had been before, and she had no fear of an anxiety attack. She was improving and she was pleased.
“Thank you, Fiona, for cooking us dinner and for the bed for a night. I had a wonderful time. You both have to come down to Bristol sometime and we can return the favour.”
“It was lovely to meet you. And yes, that would be nice.”
Going on her new-found acceptance with people in her personal space, Meredith stepped forward and hugged Fiona. It was easy to do, because Fiona really was a nice person. She could see why Joe fell in love with her. She turned to Stephanie and noticed she was in a quiet conversation with Joe.
Deciding they needed a chance for a proper goodbye, Meredith said, “I'll be in the car.” Stephanie nodded and went back to talking with Joe.
She got into the passenger side of the car and waited for Stephanie. Her mobile phone rang and she fished it out of her jeans pocket. She glanced at the caller ID and recognised the number of Detective Walker, the detective who had interviewed her a few months ago after she had arrived home from the hospital. She accepted the call.
“Hello, detective.”
“Good morning, Miss Ashcroft. I’m sorry it’s so early but I wanted to call you before I got bogged down in work.”
“That’s okay, I’m up and about anyway.”
“Well, I just wanted to let you know a trial date has been set for Jameson West. It’s set to begin January fifth, barring any delays. Obviously, you will be called as a witness, as well as the other women he took. The prosecution will be in touch with a time to meet with you to go over what happened and gather any more evidence they may need.”
Meredith closed her eyes and tried to settle her heart rate as it thrummed hard in her chest. She refused to have an anxiety attack over this.
“Okay, thank you for calling me and letting me know.”
The driver’s side door opened and Stephanie stepped inside. She must have seen Meredith’s panic as she looked at her questioningly and placed a hand on her thigh.
“I don't particularly want to face him again, but I know this has to be done to put the son of a bitch away.”
“I know this will be difficult for you,” Detective Walker said. “As it will be for all the witnesses, but we have trained professionals to help you with anything you will need. And don’t forget you can call me anytime if you need to.”
“Thank you again.”
Meredith disconnected the call and placed the phone back in her pocket. She pinched the bridge
of her nose and blew out a breath.
“Are you okay?” Stephanie asked.
“I think so.” She turned and regarded Stephanie, who was looking at her with a worried look on her face. “Jameson West’s trial will begin on the fifth of January. I guess we need to start preparing to face that monster again.”
“Well, I for one can't wait to see that sick fucker be sent down.” Stephanie started the engine and pulled out of the driveway.
Meredith didn’t want to talk about him anymore, she would have to face him soon enough, and she didn’t want to spoil the journey home by thinking of him. “So how are you and Joe? Is everything okay between you both now?”
“Yeah, I think we’re good. I’m pretty sure Fiona spoke with him again because he didn’t rag on me for moving in with you. I also told him I would come back once a month to help him with his accounts as he never really has been any good at the paperwork side of the business. He has a good eye for art, but not for numbers.” She chuckled.
“That’s good, I’m happy that both of you are working things out.” Meredith smiled.
Stephanie steered the car out of Joe’s neighbourhood, but she didn’t leave the same way they had arrived yesterday. She took the car in a different direction.
“How come you're going this way?” Meredith asked.
“I just thought it best we avoid going down the same road you were taken.”
“Thank you. That’s very sweet of you.”
†
Later that evening Meredith was in the kitchen making a salad for their dinner. She was standing at the stove, frying up some chicken pieces to go on the bed of lettuce and tomatoes that were already on plates on the kitchen counter. Stephanie had spent the last few hours unpacking the few boxes she had brought with her from Joe’s and was now in the shower. As Meredith uncorked a bottle of wine, she went over her counselling session in her mind. It had been good, she had enjoyed it. The counsellor was pleased with the progress she was making within herself and the management of her panic attacks, but Meredith knew she still had a long way to go. She accredited her improvement to Stephanie’s support. She was positive if Stephanie had not come into her life again, she would probably still be stuck, fearful of touch and unable to go out.
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