“Shut up! My God, I can’t believe I’ve been in love with such a douche for all these years.” My eyes went right to him as we both realized what I had said.
“So you admit it?”
I threw my hands up, surrendering to the truth. “It isn’t like it was a big secret.”
“Bullshit! That’s where this whole thing began. If you would have been honest about it, we wouldn’t be sitting here arguing.”
I was becoming more furious by the second. “Oh yeah? Where would we be?”
He chuckled. “I don’t know. I guess married with a couple of kids. Or maybe we’d be graduating college together. You know I never wanted to be a part of my father’s business.”
“What did you say?” He needed to repeat himself.
“The part about the business?”
I shook my head again. “No, the other thing.”
“I said we’d be together. You’d be my wife, because that’s how it always should have been. It’s always been you, Willow. How could you not know that?”
I don’t know whether the moment was just too intense, or his words melted my heart, but I threw myself at him. I couldn’t help myself. My arms tangled around his neck and I hugged him as tight as I could. I couldn’t control the tears that were falling down my face and I don’t think I even cared. When I felt Stosh’s arms wrapping around me, I knew he was telling me the truth.
He grabbed my face and held my cheeks. “I can’t imagine what you must be thinking, but I can assure you I didn’t know. I had no clue how you felt about me, not until recently.”
I pulled away. “What do you mean?”
He touched my lips with his fingertips. His eyes were full of wetness. “Please kiss me. Even if you hate me, right now. I just need to feel your lips on mine, one more time.”
I leaned in slowly and kissed him. I held my lips there, letting the room fill with emotions, as I finally backed away. “Talk to me.”
He grabbed both my hands and looked down at them. “I really did fall for you that first day we met. There was just something about you. I mean, you were the whole package. You were beautiful and brilliant. You knew what you wanted in life and I admired how nothing could stop you from getting it.”
I was blushing, hearing him put me on a pedestal. “I appreciate that you noticed me. Nobody ever noticed me.”
“Are you kidding, Will? Everyone noticed you. They were just too afraid to approach you because you were out of their league.”
“Yeah right. They thought I was a nerd.”
“Okay. You weren’t the one who had to hear about it every time I went into the locker room. I think the whole football team wanted to nail you.” He rolled his eyes, like speaking of it annoyed him.
“You’re crazy. They made fun of me.”
“Who told you that?”
“Who do you think? Ivy told me everything. We were best friends.”
“Yeah, well you can add that to the list of lies.” He started picking up, putting the leftovers away in the refrigerator.
I walked over and stuck a plate in the sink. “What are you trying to say?”
He turned around and wiped his hands off on a dish cloth. “Your sister is an evil person, Willow. If you knew the web of lies she’s spun, you’d never be taking up for her.”
I put my hands on my hips. “You’re just saying that, because you want to get in my pants.”
“No, I’m not. Sit down and I’ll give you a hundred reasons.” He was scaring me. Surely he couldn’t have a hundred reasons for me to hate my sister. He had to be the liar.
I kept shaking my head. “No! She wouldn’t. Ivy is a lot of things, but she’s not a liar!”
“Wake up, Willow. She’s the fucking Devil!” Stosh picked up a plate and slammed it down so hard it shattered inside the sink. Then he held on to the edge of the countertop like he was trying to control his anger.
I attempted touching his shoulder, but he pulled away. “Obviously, she’s done something to anger you.”
“That’s not even the half of it.” He turned around and looked at me, but didn’t touch me. “I could tell you what I know. I’m sure there’s more. Hell, I just found out about some of it this past week.” He grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and handed me one. “I don’t know if you like beer. I should, but that was taken away from me too.”
He went back up topside. I followed close behind him. As much as I was confused and angry, I was also curious. If my sister was lying, I deserved to know. I had to be there to take up for her when he tried to drag her in the mud behind her back.
We sat down across from each other. He drank half of his beer while never taking his eyes off of me. I played with my bottle, peeling the wrapper off. “I’m listening.”
He started laughing. “Have you ever felt sorry for someone, so much you want to be the one to help them?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I do save my sister whenever she calls.”
He made a sound and shook his head. “Not after tonight.” He took another drink. “Everything changes tonight.”
I arched my brow. “Are you going to explain why you think that?”
“Do remember when you saw me with your sister before prom?”
When he shattered my heart? Yeah, I remembered it in detail. “I think so.”
“She told you we were going together. I never asked her to go with me, Willow. I gave her a letter I wrote for you. I wanted to ask you to prom, but I couldn’t find the words. You were determined to stay focused on school. You never talked about prom or any other dance. So, when your sister laughed in my face and read the note in front of me, I felt like a fool. She said you told her I’d never be anything more than a friend. She said you weren’t attracted to me and I didn’t have a chance with someone like you. She said you didn’t like jocks and dating was the last thing on your mind.”
I started shaking my head. A new set of tears filled my eyes. “She wouldn’t! I mean, I didn’t tell her I liked you, because I didn’t want her to know.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Tell me why you didn’t want her to know. Better yet, let me tell you why I think you didn’t tell her. I think you were afraid to tell her because she always had to have what you had. I think you were afraid she’d try to take me for herself.”
What a douche. “Do you hear yourself? You’re making it sound like you are royalty.”
“Would you just listen?” He sat his beer down and grabbed my hands again. I started to pull away, but he held them tighter. “You know I’m right. Trust me; I’ve lived with her for four years. All she does is take what she wants.”
I gritted my teeth. “Fine. Say that was it. It still doesn’t explain why she would do it. She didn’t even know.”
“I thought about her motives, too. I guess she could have had two reasons. She could have just wanted to sabotage your chance of happiness before you had it, or, maybe she knew how you felt without telling her. I think she did it to spite you.”
I stood up, pulling my hands away from him. “You’re an asshole!”
He chased me to the front of the boat. When I was cornered, I had to turn around. “Take me home or I swear I will jump and start swimming.”
He just stood there. “You wouldn’t!”
I climbed up and steadied myself to take the leap. I was bitter and angry at him for accusing her. I couldn’t see his sincerity. All I saw was him trying to swoon me into believing she could be so evil.
Before I was able to get away, Stosh threw me over his shoulder. I kicked and screamed, but he refused to let me down. Once we were in the bedroom, he tossed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He was intent, and I was afraid. I’d never seen him look the way he was. He took my arms and put them above my head and then straddled me with his heavy body. I wasn’t able to move.
“Let go of me, Stosh. You’re scaring me!”
“I don’t have a choice. You won’t listen. Why can
’t you just hear me out, Will?”
I realized he wasn’t going to get up unless I agreed to listen to him. I didn’t think he was going to physically hurt me, but I was a little concerned about his motives. “I’ll listen.”
He leaned down and kissed me, holding his lips over mine. I turned to the side to break away. I hated how he was in total control. It was like he brought me here to take advantage of me. I was alone and nobody could help me.
Was this the same man I had always been in love with? Was he capable of being someone else? Maybe my sister was running from him.
“I never agreed to go to prom with your sister until she started crying, saying she didn’t have a date. She said we should go as friends. She told me it would make you jealous and make you want me. My stupid ass believed her. I was willing to pretend to be with her if I had a chance to be with you.”
He finally sat up and stopped holding me. I didn’t try to move away from him, though. “That kiss outside of Biology?”
“I knew it was you the whole time.”
The butterflies were back. Unless he was really a twisted person, his story was making complete sense. I’d always wondered why he’d kissed me. It wasn’t to put on a show for the teachers. He wanted a chance to kiss me, not Ivy. “That’s why she wasn’t mad when I told her?”
“Now you’re catching on.” He smiled, like he had finally made some ground.
“It doesn’t explain how she ended up pregnant. Obviously you liked her enough to sleep with her on prom night.” Saying it out loud was like a nail being slammed into my beating heart.
He scratched his head. “Willow, I don’t remember that night. I remember being at the dance and us being invited to a party. I hated being there with her, so I started drinking heavily. The next thing I knew it was morning, and she was passed out next to me with no clothes on. I felt horrible for what I’d done. I swear to God I never wanted to be with her.” He started to laugh a little, which was weird, considering we were talking about something this serious. “It turns out, I never did. She staged the whole thing as another notch in her ultimate betrayal.”
Even I started to question it. “Is this some kind of joke? Ultimate betrayal? I can believe she did the first things, but this is going a little too far. Are you trying to get me to forgive you or something?”
He got up off the bed and paced. “I knew it would be too hard for you to understand. I didn’t want to have to show you this. It’s going to hurt and I don’t want you to feel that way.”
He pulled out a little brown book. I recognized it immediately, because I’d gotten the same one as her one Christmas. “She didn’t?”
He slid it over toward me on the mattress and sat down on the edge. “Willow, I have never lied to you. I meant what I said earlier. I’ve never stopped loving you. I can’t change the past four years. I’m responsible for my actions during them. Had I had known what was really going on, I never would have let it happen. I never would have married her and promised to take care of a child. I would have spent every single second doing whatever I had to do to make you fall in love with me. It was all I wanted. It’s all I still want.” He kissed me on the top of my head and stood up. “You’re going to be reading for a while, so I’ll be outside when you’re ready to talk. Please keep in mind I was also a victim in all this. I hope you don’t hate me too much. I’d at least want to be your friend, if that’s all I can be. I’ve missed you like a fat guy misses a hamburger.”
I started to laugh. “I missed you, too.”
He walked away, leaving me staring at the book.
I traced Ivy’s name on the front and the words ‘keep out’. Obviously, Stosh wanted me to read it. It felt wrong, but I had to know the truth, no matter what it was. There were parts of my sister’s life that never added up, and I needed to find out what I was missing.
I took a deep breath and opened it to the first page.
Chapter 7
Back Stabbing Bitch.
We’d gotten the little books when we were fourteen. The first couple pages were her complaining about her hair and talking about crushes she had. It wasn’t until I got halfway in when things became apparent.
Jan 26th
Once again my parents praised Willow for her perfect report card. Do they even pay attention to me at all? I kept my room clean for the whole month and they never even walked inside. Of course, little Miss. Perfect got to go out to a fancy dinner at the country club with dad for getting straight A’s. Can’t they see I need help with my school work? I guess they only need one child to make them proud.
Feb 10th
My sister is oblivious to life. She hides behind those books, like she’s too good for everyone else. Now she’s all up in that new guy’s ass. They make me sick, smiling at each other the way they do. It’s pretty damn obvious they want each other. If that dude thinks the Virgin Mary is going to give it up, he’s going to have a shriveled up dick while waiting. PATHETIC. That’s what they are!!!
I was already crying after reading the first two. I couldn’t believe she was saying those things about me and then treating me like we were best friends.
April 15th
Shoot me now! I hooked up with someone at a party and I can’t remember which guy it was. Randy is hotter, but Ben is built better. I wouldn’t want to date either of them exclusively.
Why does this always happen to me? I didn’t even drink a lot. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the ecstasy. My period is due in two weeks. Hopefully I get it and this nightmare will be over with. My parents will kill me if I get pregnant. They offered to get my sister an apartment at college, but haven’t offered me shit. I can’t wait to get out of this Hell hole. I will find a way.
April 27th
I have got to figure out how to get away from this cesspool of assholes. It’s exhausting trying to pretend I give a damn. Now I know why kids scheme to kill their parents. I’d do it myself if I wasn’t scared they’ve left everything to Willow. It’s apparent who their favorite is; clearly they’d leave me on the street. The sad part is Willow would feel sorry for me and share. Why does she have to be so pathetically sweet? Ugh! I hate her!
May 20th
I am sick of hearing about my sister getting into her dream college. Gag me please. The worst part is she doesn’t know if she wants to go. She says she doesn’t want to leave me. I just want her gone! I am so tired of living in her shadow. I want my own life.
May 22nd
Something amazing happened today. Willow won’t know what hit her. I’m going to get that little bitch for everything she’s ever taken from me. When I’m done with her she’ll leave and never come back. The best part was I didn’t even have to look for it. It came looking for me.
May 23rd
Can this guy be anymore lame? I mean, who wants a guy that acts like an old man? He actually opened the door for me. We aren’t even really dating. He thinks I am letting him date me to make my sister jealous and like him. What an idiot.
I will never forget the look on her face when we told her we were going to prom. She looked like she was going to throw up.
I hope she did. She deserves it.
I wish she didn’t exist.
She gave me some excuse for not wanting to go to prom, like she was too good to be acting like a teenager. Whatever! I hate her so much.
May24th
Hearing my sister cry herself to sleep never gets old. That’s what she gets for making me suffer for years. She doesn’t know what it’s like to hear her own parents saying she’d never amount to anything.
She’s upset over this guy. Soon, she will pack her shit and leave. My plan couldn’t have worked out better. Only a few more little details and I’ll be waving goodbye to that bitch once and for all.
I slammed the book shut and began to bawl. Everything I ever knew about my sister had been a lie. She’d set me up and watched me fall. I’d never felt this much hatred in my entire life.
Stosh must have heard me. He came
running in and wrapped me in his arms. “Willow, I’m so sorry, babe. God, I’m so sorry.” He rocked me back and forth as I let out all the pain and frustration. I felt like I’d been abandoned. Everything I ever thought had been a lie.
“How could she do this me? What did I ever do to deserve this?” I could barely talk, but somehow he understood me.
“I asked myself the same thing.”
There was nothing he could say that would help. He just held me and let me cry. We’d both been betrayed by my sister. She’d cost us our future together, and we didn’t even know it. I couldn’t believe I knew someone who was that vindictive, much less been related to her, and even shared a womb.
A little while later, after I’d cried tears I didn’t think I had left, Stoshua got up and fetched me a drink. I sipped the water slowly, feeling like I was going to throw up.
“You’re going to be okay.” He tried to assure me.
“I appreciate how you think that, but everything I’ve ever known about my sister has been a lie. I shared everything with her and she pretended to care. I should have known. I should have done something. She blames me for her own failures.”
I looked over at the diary. He saw what I was doing. “How far did you get?”
“The night before prom.” It was hard to talk about it, without getting choked up. A couple more sobs escaped.
“You don’t have to read anymore tonight.” He took my hand and laced our fingers together.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this when you found out?” He should have called. He should have told me right away.
“I guess I didn’t want to try to explain on the phone. You wouldn’t have believed me anyway. Besides,” he pulled my hand up to his lips and placed small kisses over my knuckles, “I think it worked out better anyway. You’re here, with me. This is where you belong, and now we can figure it out together.”
As much as I wanted to know more, it was finally sinking in that we’d been kept apart. I was tired of hurting and I knew one thing that would take my mind away from all the pain. I looked up into his eyes while he kept kissing my hand. “Make love to me, Stosh.”
Twinsequences Willow Page 5
