“What is that?”
“That’s your baby. Their hearts beat faster than ours. We were afraid it would be too early to hear.”
“I was four or five weeks when I found out. At first I didn’t know what I was going to do. You and dad thought I purposely had an affair with Stosh. You couldn’t have known it was all some scheme of Ivy’s to steal my baby.” She started to turn the volume back down. “No! Please keep it on.” I wanted to hear it’s little heart beating. It made me think of Stosh and how we were finally going to be a family.
She smiled and kissed my forehead. “You should rest.”
“I can’t rest. I want to know about Stosh. I watched him get shot.” I rubbed my stomach. “He has to be okay. We have to be together. He wants this baby more than anything.”
She looked over at my father and then back to me. “He’s in surgery. The bullet became lodged in his spine and they’re working to get it out.”
I started to cry, becoming frantic. “Is he going to die? He can’t… I mean, he has to be okay. We can finally be together. He has to be alright.” I was crying so badly the words were hard to get out.
I put my hands over my face and bawled.
My heart rate rapidly increased while my dad reached over to touch my hand. “Sweetheart, you have to relax. Worrying isn’t going to help him get better. You have to stay positive.” I hated him talking to me like I was one of his patients.
I looked at both of them and felt myself dying inside. Not knowing Stosh’s fate was killing me. I couldn’t raise a baby without him. He promised to be with me. He told me nothing could keep us apart again.
“Ivy! Where is she?” I couldn’t remember anything. “Tell me they got her.”
“Your sister was taken into custody. Her accomplice didn’t make it. She isn’t going to hurt you anymore, Willow. We promise you that.” I could see the pain in my father’s eyes. They were disappointed. Who could blame them? Their own daughter had planned to murder her entire family for money and a baby that wasn’t hers.
What kind of human being could be that cold?
My mother patted my leg. “She’s being held at the county detention center until her arraignment. When we know where they’re going to send her, your father is having her evaluated by someone he works with. Even if your sister would ever get out of jail, she’s going to be put away in an institution for a very long time. After talking to Stosh’s parents, we have a better idea of everything that’s been going on. We’re really sorry we didn’t believe you. We just never thought your sister would be capable of such madness.”
“She wanted you dead. In fact, she wanted us all dead. I never had any idea how she felt about me. I trusted her, and all along she’s been trying to ruin my life.”
My mother ran her hand through my hair. “Will you ever forgive us?”
I wanted to tell them I was still angry; that nothing they said or did could make me forget they’d turned their backs on me, but I just couldn’t. All I cared about was Stosh and our baby. “I’m not mad at you guys. We were all a part of Ivy’s scheme. None of us could have known she was capable of this.”
“Can we get you anything?” She asked.
“I need Stosh. Please, can you just find out if he’s okay? I need to know, Mom. I need to hear his voice. I can’t rest until I know he’s going to be fine.”
She looked over at my father. “We can go make some phone calls. Are you going to be okay here by yourself? I’m worried about you.”
I nodded. “I’ll be fine as soon as I know he’s okay.” I rubbed my abdomen again. “We need to know.”
“You really love him don’t you? After all the time that has passed, he’s still the one?”
“I’ve loved him since the day he first walked into my life. I was just too afraid to tell him. Ivy took advantage of that and kept us apart. She told him I wasn’t interested and seduced him into thinking they slept together after prom. You read the diary. You know the truth.” I wiped my eyes again. “I can’t lose him, Mom. I just can’t, not after everything we’ve been through to be together.”
When my parents walked out of the room, I felt myself losing control of my emotions. My life had been threatened. My unborn child’s life had been compromised and Stosh had been shot. My sister was still ruining our lives, even from behind bars.
While Stosh fought to stay alive, she was probably sitting in a cell gloating about her accomplishments. I imagined bursting into the lock up room and shooting her for the hell of it. She made me sick and, for the first time, I accepted that she was no longer my sister.
I didn’t care if she was sick in the head. There were just some things in life that couldn’t be forgiven. I’d never forgive her for ripping out my heart and threatening my life and the people I loved.
When my parents didn’t come back right away, I knew something had to be wrong. They didn’t want to burden me with bad news.
The problem was, I needed to know. I had to know if he didn’t make it; if a part of my soul was going to be lost forever.
It hurt even more knowing we’d missed a lot of time together. We should have been the ones that were married with little children running around.
All of the little things Stoshua had done while helping Ivy seemed small in comparison to a lifetime without him. I didn’t care that he’d lied to me, or hurt me. He did it to be with me, because he thought it was the only way it could ever happen. I think if the roles were reversed, I would have been desperate enough to do the same. My love for him had only grown stronger and the baby that was growing inside of me helped me to forgive.
The only thing I wanted was to be able to feel his strong arms wrapping around me. I wanted to see him holding our baby when he or she was born. I wanted to lay in bed with our baby in between us, while looking into each other’s eyes.
He was everything to me and, even when we weren’t together, he always had been.
I waited another half hour before I sat up and started pushing the button for a nurse.
A woman a little older than me came walking in. “Can I help you with something?”
“My parents? Have you seen them?”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid my shift just started. I can look around for them.”
“Don’t worry about it. They probably went to get something to eat.”
After she walked away, I grabbed the telephone and dialed Stosh’s number. Of course, I should have known he couldn’t answer. Maybe I just wanted to hear his voice when the message thingy came on.
“This is Stosh. You know what to do.”
I started crying harder, just hearing his recorded voice.
“It’s me. I know you aren’t listening right now, but I need you to know how much I love you. No matter where I was in life, you never left my mind and my heart. It’s always been you, Stoshua Wheeler. I don’t care about the past or what we’ve had to go through. I just want our future. I want us to be together. It doesn’t matter where we live, or what we do, as long as we’re together. We’re a family now and I need you so much. Do you hear me, Stosh? I can’t lose you, babe. I can’t lose the one thing I’ve always wanted. We’re so close. You have to fight. Please, just be okay. I can’t live without you.”
If he did hear the message, I wasn’t sure he would be able to understand the last parts. I was too emotional. Thinking about the possibility of him not surviving was making it difficult to breathe. I needed to know.
I had to call information to get his parent’s phone number. I called three times and nobody had answered. I didn’t know who else I could call or what I could do. Knowing they were going to come back at some point, I didn’t call my parents. If they were staying away, it was for a legitimate reason.
Unfortunately, only one thing could have kept them away.
My fear of losing Stosh was becoming a reality.
When my parents finally came around the corner, and my mother had tears in her eyes, I knew it couldn’t be good. I sat up a
nd immediately started to cry harder. I felt all my hope leaving my body. My heart was empty.
“No!” I shook my head while continuing to cry.
My parents looked at each other and then back to me. I didn’t take my eyes off of them as I waited to hear. I wished I was one of those people that could feel nothing. I wanted to be numb, instead of feeling overwhelmed with pain.
“Just say it. I need to hear you say it.”
Chapter 27
I need a Mulligan.
They came over to the bed and my mother grabbed my hand. “Sweetie, Stosh isn’t gone. He may not be able to ever walk again. The bullet was lodged in his spine. He’s been in surgery for four hours and they are afraid he has spinal damage.”
I didn’t hear the part about Stosh being paralyzed. All I heard was he was going to live. “He’s really okay?”
“Your father talked to the surgeon himself.” My mother looked over at him and gave him a nudge.
“It’s true. I spoke to Malcolm Brodham on the phone. We were colleagues a while back. The bullet entered clean, but became lodged in Stosh’s lower spine. They won’t know the extent of his paralysis until he wakes up and can begin physical therapy.”
“But, he’s alive?”
“Yes, sweetheart, he’s alive.”
I was happy. Of course I was afraid of his recovery, but he was going to be able to hold his child. He would be there during the birth and to celebrate birthdays and holidays. “I need to go there. I have to see him.”
“Willow, you’re in the hospital. Stosh would want you safe,” my mother argued.
I shook my head. “Please. He’s all I’ve had for a while now. He needs me there.”
“You aren’t due to be released until the morning.”
I grabbed my IV and ripped it out of my arm. My mother seemed shocked as she rushed over and tried to grab my arm. “Willow, what are you doing?”
I pulled away. “Take me to Stosh. You both have the pull to get me out of here. I’m fine. You said it yourself. Check me out under your care. You can stay with me the whole time. I just need you to take me Stosh. I’m not asking you. Now, you can either help me, or I will call a cab and get there myself.”
I hated threatening them, but nothing was going to stop me from seeing Stoshua. I had to be there with him. Nothing else mattered in my life at that very moment.
My parents didn’t fight me after I threatened to go alone. Within a half hour, we were in the parking lot, headed for their car. They insisted on keeping me in a wheelchair and I didn’t even care. As long as we were headed to the other hospital, I was okay with their insisting.
The anticipation of seeing him had me on edge. My parents tried to talk to me during our twenty-minute ride, but I could hardly answer them. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around Stosh and feel that rush of relief. The worst was over and we were going to be able to breath again.
No matter what he had to go through, we were going to do it together. From now on, we were going to be a team. Nothing could come between us.
So I thought.
We arrived at the hospital and my parents were adamant about me being wheeled in. I imagine running, but just knowing I would get there was fine with me. They had to stop and talk to a couple people since it was after hours and our situation wasn’t ideal. Thank God, both of my parents knew their way around a hospital, and enough physicians to be able to get around the rules.
Stosh’s parents were both in his room. They were arguing with him and I didn’t understand why that would be happening.
I thought when he saw me; he’d be happy and reach his arms out for me to come into them.
Instead, he turned his head in the opposite direction, like he hadn’t even seen me at all. It hurt my feelings, especially considering what I’d done to get there. I looked back at my parents and told them to let me go in alone. Stosh’s parents both kissed my head as they walked out of the room to join my parents. He still hadn’t turned back around, even as I spoke to his mom and dad.
I wheeled the chair over to his bed and reached out for his hand. He pulled away. “Don’t, Will.”
“Don’t what? I came as fast as I could. I was so worried about you. I thought I lost you.”
He put his hands over his face. “We can’t be together.”
I froze. “What?”
“Look at me, Willow. I’m fucking crippled. I’m never going to walk again. Do you really think I’d be a good father? Hell, I probably can’t even have sex. You really want to have to take care of me, too?”
“I will. I’ll do whatever I have to.” It was the truth.
“You will for the first couple months, maybe even years, but after a while you’ll get tired of it. Then I’ll just be a burden.”
I shook my head and pushed him. “Don’t tell me what I want, or how things will be. You don’t know that. I’d never feel that way.”
“That’s what they all say. All I am is a charity case. Nothing is ever going to be okay.”
I got that he was in shock over his diagnosis, but it was no reason for him to shut me out. “Stosh, please. You don’t mean what you’re saying. I know you don’t feel that way. We’re having a baby. You’re going to be a father.”
His scrunched up his face. “What kind of father would I be? I can’t raise a kid. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to wipe my own ass. Just face it, Willow. This dream of ours was over before it ever started. Ivy got what she wanted. She ruined my life.”
I started to cry harder. “I won’t let you do this, not after everything that has happened. I’m not going to give up on us, not ever.” I had to cover my face, not because I was ashamed, but because the pain of it all was too much to take. I hadn’t just gone through Hell to be pushed away.
“I’m really sorry, Willow. You know I wanted us to be together.”
I let my hands fall to my sides and looked at him. It was confusing. “You’re sorry? You’re the one pushing me away. You’re the one saying we can’t be together. I don’t give a damn if you lost your arms and your legs. I’d still want you to be a father to our child. I can’t do this without you.”
He shook his head. “You can and you will. You were going to do it before we got together. I know you’re capable. If it’s money you want, then I’ll pay child support. Hopefully, in time, you’ll find someone that can take you places, that will want to adopt our baby and raise them as their own.” I could see that his last sentence had gotten to him. He started to choke on his words. “I need you to be happy, Willow. It’s all I want.”
I leaned over his bed. “I don’t believe what your saying. I don’t believe you’re going to just let me go off and live a life with someone else. I sure as hell don’t believe you’re going to let someone else raise your child. You can act like a total dick to me. You can tell me to go away, so you can sit there and feel sorry for yourself. I’m not going anywhere, Stosh. I will wait for you. I’ll wait as long as I have to, and when you’re ready, you’ll have that life you always wanted.”
I could tell he was fighting his own tears. He was devastated and I couldn’t blame him for it. I would have reacted the same way if I thought I wasn’t ever going to be able to walk again. It was a terrible tragedy, but it wasn’t the end of his life. If anyone could get through it, we could.
He put his hands back over his face. “I can’t do this right now. Don’t you get it? If you hadn’t snuck off on your own, I wouldn’t be lying in this fucking bed! Now, just get out of here. You’ve done enough!”
I reached over and ran the back of my hand down his arm. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. You can blame me if it makes you feel better inside. What happened was an accident.”
It was hard for me to walk out of those doors. All I’d wanted to do was rush in and be with him. I had no idea he’d be sending me away like I meant nothing to him. It not only hurt my feelings, but it made me wonder if a part of him would ever be able to get past having a disability.
&
nbsp; My parents were standing with Stosh’s. I think they knew things hadn’t gone the way I wanted them to when I came out of the room in tears. I felt embarrassed because I’d had faith on our love. It didn’t make sense how Stosh could just push me away. Did he really think I was that kind of person?
Neither my mother nor father asked questions on the way home. They whispered things to each other, but said nothing about Stosh or Ivy. It wasn’t until we pulled up at their house when they both turned around to get my attention. “We can stay at a hotel if it would be easier for you.” I was surprised they wanted to stay there. My mother didn’t look too sure when she was asking.
I shook my head. “It’s fine. I’m too exhausted to worry about anything else.” That was a lie. The only thing I wanted to do was lock myself in my old room and cry. My heart was breaking and, this time, it wasn’t because someone had died. It was because he lived, but didn’t want to be with me, or our baby.
My sister had stolen my happiness, just like she’d planned. She may have ended up in jail, but in the end, she’d gotten exactly what she wanted.
Stosh didn’t want me near him.
Thinking about it made me break down in the backseat of my parent’s car before we’d even climbed out. My mother jumped out of the passenger seat and opened the back door for me. I grabbed her hand and let her pull me out of the vehicle. She wasted no time, taking me into her comforting arms. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
“Why doesn’t he want me? What did I do wrong?”
“He’s going through something traumatic. Until he can comes to grips with his situation, it’s better if you stay apart. He’ll change his mind.”
“But, I don’t want to. I need him, and he needs me too.”
I heard my father getting out of the car and coming around to our side. He rubbed my back while I cried in their driveway. “All this was so we could be together. He blames me for what happened.”
“What happened to him was directly due to your sister’s antics. Stosh will come around. I see this in all my patients. They need someone to blame. It will pass.” My father tried to say something comforting, but it solved nothing.
Twinsequences Willow Page 19
