Without his blessing, I found myself sitting outside the gates to the prison. It was visiting day. I’d asked my parents to wait until my visit was over to come see her. This was between the two of us.
The visitation room was a lot like they portray on television. Large cafeteria type tables were in rows. The prisoner sits on one side while the visitor sits on the other. I showed my I.D. and waited for them to bring her out.
It was weird when she came from behind the door without makeup. I don’t remember ever seeing my sister like that. Even before bed she would apply some makeup. She used to say it was just in case the house caught fire. She didn’t want a cute fireman seeing her without her ‘face’ on.
None of that mattered anymore. She couldn’t primp around and pick up the new makeup when it came out at the stores. Now she’d be trading day old fish sticks for cigarettes. It almost made me want to smile.
The look on her face was unlike one I was used to. She seemed both shocked and amused that I had shown up. I folded my hands on the table as she walked toward me. My belly was well hidden, and I was saving that surprise for the very end of our visit.
She sat down right in front of me. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I wasn’t going to.” I raised one eyebrow and waited for her to respond. I was ready for anything.
She played with her hands. “I thought a lot about what I wanted to say to you.”
“Spill. I don’t have all day. Stosh is taking me out to our favorite restaurant, and I promised him I wouldn’t be late.” I loved rubbing it in that we were together. It was almost as good as leaning over the table and gouging both her eyes out.
“It must be nice.”
“Oh, it is. Everything turned out perfectly. I’ve never been so happy.”
She placed her hands flat on the table. “How’s he doing without legs?”
“Screw you!” I stood up. “This was a mistake. You aren’t worth the time.”
She stared at me, but not my face. I could see the tears forming in her eyes.
“What’s wrong, Ivy? Cat got your tongue?”
She put her hands over her mouth and shook her head. “I didn’t believe it. I thought you were lying.”
“We kept it from you the whole time, Ivy. How does it feel to be lied to? How does it feel to know that I have everything you’ve ever wanted?”
Her emotions were heightened. “Stop it!”
I sat back down and got close to her, so nobody else could hear me. “How does it feel to know you will never have my life? You will never feel what it’s like to have someone love you and you will never, ever, know what having your own child is like. You reap what you sow, sis.” I tapped on the table. “This is where you belong.”
I went to stand up and walk away, but she grabbed my hand. “Will, wait!”
I pulled away. “What do you want? Did you think I was going to come here and just forgive you? You’re insane! You took everything from me and then tried to end the lives of everyone that ever gave a damn about you. I hope you rot in Hell.”
“I’m sorry.”
I was pissed off. “You’re not sorry, Ivy. You did it on purpose. Apologies are for something you didn’t mean to happen. You planned all this. Are you happy with yourself? How does it make you feel to know Stosh, and I bought a house together? We wake up in our bed and make love whenever we want. You think just because he can’t walk that we can’t make love? My name is the only one he says when he sleeps. It’s our baby’s room that he’s helping decorate. I hope you like your little ten-by-ten cell. Was that in your plan too?”
She shook her head and hid her face from me. I had gotten to her in the worst way, without guilt.
“I loved you more than anyone for our whole lives. I would have done anything for you. It’s a shame you didn’t feel that way about me. We could have been a family. You could have been an aunt to my children. I really do hope you’re happy with yourself.”
I left my sister sitting at the table in tears. Whatever it was she thought she was going to say wasn’t ever going to be said. I’d made my peace with it and it felt damn good.
Stosh was anxiously waiting for me when I returned home. I walked in the door with a smile on my face. Sure, I did feel bad for saying such mean things. I reacted the way I had because everything was pent up inside me. I just needed to get it out, once and for all. He wheeled himself toward the front door. “How’d it go?”
I sat down on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I said some things.”
“What kind of things?”
“Imagine the worst possible things you could ever say to Ivy, then multiply that by one hundred.” I wondered if I’d been too hard on my sister. Maybe that was just because I had a heart and she didn’t. I wanted to hate her, but somewhere inside of me, I still cared. I hated being mean.
“How did she take it?”
“She cried.”
He kissed me softly on the lips. “Don’t tell me you feel guilty now. That bitch deserves whatever is dealt to her.”
I traced his lips with my fingertips. “I know.”
He popped a wheelie with me on his lap. I screamed and held on tight. “Whoa! What are you doing?”
“I’ve been practicing. Maybe you can put me on YouTube.”
I smacked him on the chest for being silly. “Stop it.” I climbed off and walked over to our open concept kitchen. “Are you hungry, babe?”
“Are you offering to climb on the countertop and spread your legs?” He followed and cornered me in front of the counter.
“Don’t you want to eat a meal?” I wasn’t going to be able to resist him much longer, so I held up a box of pasta. “We can order something? We could go out?”
He grabbed the package out of my hand and sat it behind me. “I’m craving one thing. You know what I want. Now, get up there and take off your pants.”
“Stoshua Wheeler, what’s gotten into you?” While I stood there arguing, he began removing my pants. I walked out of them. He pulled me close to him. His kisses started at my belly button and trailed down one of my hips. I backed away. “How about we get in the tub? You know I like riding you in there. You can wash me and do whatever you want.”
“Really?” He stopped reaching for me. “Anything?”
I nodded and bit down on my lip. “Anything.”
He smiled, but didn’t think very long about it. “I’ll race you there.”
Our one story rancher made it easy for him to be able to get around. I tried to keep up, but his chair kept me from passing. It was a fun game we’d play and seeing him smile made me realize how happy we were. Stosh no longer worried about us breaking up. We were planning our future; a future full of children and hopes and dreams.
When we made it to the bathroom, I helped him undress. We took our time removing each article of clothing in between ravenous kisses. I watched him lift his body up and sit in the large soaking tub. I ran the water and started to take off the rest of my clothes.
He licked his lips in anticipation. “Hurry up, babe. I’ve been waiting all day to kiss those sweet lips.”
It gave me chills whenever he talked like that. Since his accident, Stosh had made it a point to satisfy me. It was like it was necessary for him to feel as if he was still capable of giving me pleasure. I didn’t need sex for that, but I didn’t argue when he put in the extra initiative. His doctor said the spinal injury had nothing to do with the nerve stimulation that came from his brain. It was all beyond my reasonable thinking, but my parents told us it made sense. After we internet searched, we found quite a few men were able to have normal sex, and some had even fathered children, even without being able to feel anything during intercourse.
I thought about what he’d just stated. I couldn’t wait, “I know you aren’t talking about the lips on my face.”
“You’re right.” He looked down at my naked pussy. “You know what I want.”
I rubbed myself down there. “This?”
He smiled and shook his head. “It’s not nice to tease someone who can’t run after you.”
“Don’t worry, babe. I won’t run.” I took a step closer to the tub. “Why would I run from something I love so much?”
“Two more steps and my tongue will have you screaming my name.”
I climbed into the tub and straddled him. “Show me what you got.”
His upper arm strength increased by the minute and picking me up seemed like it took no effort on his part. My wet body lifted up out of the water. As the brisk air in the room hit my wet body, I felt his tongue flicking my tiny bud. I arched my back as he got into a rhythm. I felt him sucking my entire pussy into his mouth. He moaned and lapped it up. I ran my hands through his hair and cried out in pleasure. He pulled away and moved his fingers over my wet lips. Then, while looking right at me, he flicked my clit again with his tongue. This time he did it using pressure. While his hands reached up and squeezed my nipples, his tongue slapped and punished my tiny bud. I cried out again, this time losing control of my body. Stosh held me still and slowly lowered me down into the water. I found his lips and kissed him, teasing him with my tongue.
Being with him would never get old.
Chapter 30
Hey hey hey, Goodbye!
Stosh froze in place and held me still. The water stopped splashing around in the tub as I sat there waiting for an explanation. “Don’t move!”
I was immediately alarmed. “Why? What’s wrong?” Since he was able to get an erection, but not feel anything, I was starting to worry. The first time it happened, we were both in shock. Sex was still the same for me, but he couldn’t feel a thing. Just to keep him from getting upset, we always did other things.
“I can feel pins and needles in my toes.”
I was so happy I backed away. He gave me a look of disappointment, then focused back on his feet.
“Can you really feel something?” I reached down and tickled the underneath.
He smiled. “I can feel you touching me. It’s faint, but I can feel the pressure of your touch.”
“Babe, do you know what this means?”
“Yeah, but we better call the doctor in the morning, just to be sure.”
All the surgeons had told him it could take months, but after a year the hope for that happening would dwindle.
In college, I’d had a friend that was reaching in her backseat. She hit a corner and flipped her car. After being in the hospital for nine months due to a broken back, she was left with no mobility from the waist down. It took her four months to start feeling something, and six more months before she could start therapy to walk again.
Even if Stosh would be able to walk one day, the road to that victory was going to be long and hard for him.
For over an hour, we laid in bed and I continued to tickle his feet. He was amused by it. I called my dad and told him about what Stosh was experiencing. He thought it was a good sign.
The next morning we went to the doctors. He poked Stosh a zillion times from his feet to his thighs. When we left, we had hope that one day he would be able to walk again, after a lot of physical therapy.
Both sets of parents came over to celebrate the good news. Stosh’s did all the cooking, while we all talked about the baby and plans for the nursery. After much thought, we’d decided to keep the sex a secret.
Okay, it was Stosh’s request, and I just wanted to make him happy.
Truth be told, I didn’t care what I had, as long as he or she was healthy. I’d been through so much stress. Maybe God was rewarding us for getting through the biggest test of our lives. Whatever the case, we were thankful.
My sister’s trial started on a Tuesday. I told myself I wasn’t going to attend, but we were subpoenaed. She looked even worse than when I had visited her. My mother took it harder than my father. She burst into tears when they brought her into the room. It didn’t help that she was handcuffed.
After two days, my sister was sentenced to eight years in jail with reduced time for serving the remainder of the term in an institution. She needed more help than a prison could provide. In light of the evidence against her, including the journals, the judge made the final call. We knew it meant she would probably get out earlier than the full length, but for now we were safe. I was glad she was going to be put away, but nervous for what was going to happen when she got out.
I didn’t care where she was locked up, as long as she couldn’t get out.
Stosh and I had discussed our future plans for when my sister did get out of prison. Our child would be older and we knew that protecting them was our main concern.
We weren’t sure how long we’d have to live in the cabin, so we made it a place we could stay in forever. I think after the first weekend we fell in love with the place. It was in the woods, on a mountainside. The cabin had three bedrooms, and the rest of the house was an open floor plan. I imagine it was built for hunters. When we were done making modifications, it was a cozy home for a little family.
My parents never stopped showering me and Stosh with gifts. I begged them many times to stop trying so hard, even when I knew it wasn’t going to change anything.
For the months leading up to the birth of our baby, they visited my sister on weekends. I hated hearing about how sorry she was, so Stosh asked my parents to keep it to themselves. I understood why they longed to have their little girl back, except unlike them, I knew it was just a whole new pack of lies.
Our little house was perfect for us. Stosh started using crutches to get around. The more he struggled, the better he did at succeeding. He stopped complaining about being disabled, which was good for me, considering I was getting ready to pop out a very needy little human.
We’d talked about names. If it was a boy, Marcus Michael. The girl names were a little more tricky. Stosh liked unique names, where I was more into the traditional kind. I was convinced if it was a girl we’d just called her little princess, since we couldn’t agree on anything else.
The days before I went into labor were filled will chaos. My mother arranged for my college friends to come to town for a surprise shower. Our little home was filled with people, making it difficult for one to get around. We’d already bought a ton of things for the baby, so naturally the child had everything you could think of. I was grateful, considering for a while I thought I’d no longer have a family or anyone to lean on. Love had changed everything for me. I had been right to follow my heart because it led me exactly where I needed to be.
Destiny Faith was born on a Sunday morning, bright and early. Stosh came up with the name one night while talking to my belly, like he frequently did. We fell in love with her before we ever met her, but once she came out, and we saw what our love created, we realized there was no feeling like it.
We were a family, finally after being kept apart for so long.
It’s amazing how destiny played part in our story. That’s why he wanted her to have that name. He said all we needed was a little faith.
Stosh took his first steps, without crutches, when Destiny was only three months old. We called it a miracle while my doctor parents said it was just his body healing itself. Whatever the case, he was on his way to a full recovery.
While Stosh worked during the day and had physical therapy in the evenings, I started a web design business out of our house. There was no way I was going to leave my little princess, so I took my degree and started something that I could do while taking care of her. It was still going slow, but at least I put my degree to use. When Destiny got older I could branch out and do other things. Stosh wasn’t in a hurry for me to get back out there. If he had it his way, I’d wear dresses and have dinner on the table at five every evening. He loved me staying home with him.
On the day he’d been legally separated for a year, Stosh filed for divorce. That following Saturday my parents took the papers to my sister to sign. They said she didn’t hesitate. Two months later, we were at the courthouse making things official. For u
s, it was just a piece of paper, but it was more when it came to our daughter.
It’s funny, looking back, I’d never saw a way for us to be together and be accepted, but it was happening.
My sister was where she belonged – put away where she couldn’t harm us. One could only hope she’d mess up and not be granted an early release. My life was too perfect to have to worry about her.
Some nights it still hurt though. I’d had so many memories of us as little girls. I don’t know when that exact moment happened where love turned to resentment. It didn’t even matter. I had beautiful memories to cherish, and others I wanted to bury. There was a time when we were like one person. I’d never forget that, even after the hell she’d put us through. Somewhere in that messed up mind was the little girl who sang songs with me, braided my hair and cuddled under the covers during a thunderstorm.
I often wondered if she thought about those moments. Had she forgotten the special bond only we shared? Did she forget we were always supposed to be best friends?
As much as I hated her, my heart wouldn’t let me forget I still loved a little part of Ivy. She’d always be my sister. It’s just a shame she didn’t share my heart. Things would have been different if she had.
At the end of the day, my life was where it was always supposed to be. I was Stosh’s wife, and we had a beautiful daughter. If everything happens for a reason, like I’d always believed, I guess karma played a part in everything that happened.
Just looking at my little girl proved that. She was our world, and we’d spend our whole lives keeping her safe.
Epilogue
2 years later
The alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but we felt someone climbing into bed with us. Ever since we’d gotten her that big girl bed, our little three year old thought it was fun to wake us up as soon as she saw daylight. As I rubbed my eyes and contemplated looking at the alarm clock, I’d made the decision I was going to put cardboard on her windows to fool her into thinking it was always nighttime in her room.
Twinsequences Willow Page 21
