Bully

by Sky Corgan

  “It's not technically hazing, but it's pretty damn close,” Melody had insisted, and I couldn't disagree.

  Leonor had been a good sport about it and taken one for the team by volunteering. She said that it was only going to be for three hours, and any of the guys who saw her volunteering would instantly think she was more fun for doing so. I supposed I could see that logic, though what I couldn't see was being willing to put yourself through public humiliation just for the sake of impressing a bunch of boys.

  Would I take a pie to the face if it would make Bobby like me more? Who was I kidding? The answer was yes. The question was, how many guys would actually find that attractive. Surely, some of the frat guys would, as many of them had put themselves in similar positions.

  “You should come.” Leonor looked over at me.

  My knee-jerk reaction was to ask why, but I stopped my thoughtless tongue before it had a chance to click out the word. The truth was that I had nothing better to do, and hanging out with these girls would enhance my bond with them. I could already feel the sisterly camaraderie, and I wanted in on that. Ever since Bobby had abandoned me, I'd been hurting for friends. In an emotionally literal sense. I had even cried over it a few times.

  It was time for me to branch out and form friendships on my own. And while I never thought this would be the way I would do it, I was certainly up for anything.

  ***

  I met a lot more of the sisters of Alpha Beta Pi when I went to help set up for the pie-throwing event. Along with Leonor and her friends, I loaded up boxes full of Reddi-Whip and carried them to the courtyard. Thanks to all of the girls working together, we only had to make one trip.

  Some guys from one of the fraternities showed up to help erect the two wooden stands that Leonor and the other victim would be standing behind to protect their clothes from pie splatter. They were both colorfully decorated. I'll take a pie for Alpha Beta Pi was printed on one in bold lettering with a bunch of pies drawn beneath it. The second said Throw a pie for Children's Literacy with the prices below it. One pie for three dollars or two for five dollars. That seemed a bit expensive for pie tins filled with whipped cream, but this wasn't the sorority's first rodeo, so I was sure they had a pretty good idea of how much money the event would bring in.

  “This seems like a bit of a cop out.” I picked up a can of Reddi-Wip, disappointed that they weren't using actual pies.

  “It's cheaper and less messy.” Leonor sprayed a glob on her fingertip and stuffed it into her mouth. I was certain she'd be sick of whipped cream by the time the day was through.

  “Sites, bring it in for the group picture,” Leonor's big called to her.

  Once the brief photo shoot was over, Leonor gleefully skipped behind her stand to take her position in preparation to be pummeled by pies. The tight white tank top and pink booty shorts she was wearing had the guys that were already lined up wolf whistling, so I guess she hadn't been wrong in assuming that sacrificing herself to the pie face God would earn her some popularity points with the boys.

  I stood on the sidelines, watching in amusement while pie after pie came sailing her way. The first hit was hilarious. It quickly lost its magic after that.

  I found myself seeking out a spot in the shade to study while the event continued, knowing that the girls wouldn't be too upset for my abandonment. They were too busy engaging with customers anyway.

  “Fancy seeing you here.” An imposing shadow stepped forward to block out the few fingers of the sun that were cutting through the tree branches.

  I lifted my hand to shield my eyes as I looked up, though I already had a pretty good idea who was standing there. That voice had struck fear into my heart every time it had caught me unaware before.

  “Are you Alpha Beta Pi?” Judging by Dustin's tone, he already knew the answer.

  “No. I'm just here to support my friends. Some of them are Alpha Beta Pi.”

  “Funny. I don't remember you having any friends the other night.” There was a level of cruelty to his words that reminded me of when we were in high school.

  “Things change.” I shrugged nonchalantly, refusing to be intimidated by him.

  “You never brought my shirt back.” He gazed out into the distance, though he didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular.

  “Sorry. I forgot.” I closed my textbook and began gathering my things to leave. “I'll go grab it right now and bring it back to you.” The sooner I checked that off of my list of priorities, the sooner I'd be rid of him. Permanently.

  “No need. I can see that you're studying.” He glanced down at my textbook. “You can bring it to me at the next party.”

  “The next party?” I quirked an eyebrow.

  “Yeah. We're having one this weekend.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. The way he towered over me made me feel small and weak. “I'm assuming you'll come, since you need to bring me my shirt.”

  It didn't sound like a request.

  I shook the confusion from my head. “Of course. Yeah. I'll be there.”

  “Good.”

  Silence filled the space between us. I wanted him to leave, but he continued to stand there, his eyes scanning over the people around us. I stared at his shoes, not knowing what else to do. These sneakers were red. I couldn't help but wonder if I ruined the white ones.

  A sudden wave of guilt swept over me.

  It seemed like Dustin was being nice to me. Trying to, at least. Of course, his invitation to the party could just be a rouse to get back at me. He'd always been that type of asshole. The vengeful kind.

  Maybe if I were nice, too, he'd realize that what had happened at the party had been a mistake.

  “Um. I'm sorry for throwing up on your shoes,” I sputtered out, hoping that my apology would make him have mercy if he was plotting something vile for me.

  “If you can't handle alcohol, then you shouldn't drink,” he chastised me.

  Not the response I had hoped for. There was no sign of forgiveness.

  “I don't usually drink that much. I was upset. Trying to drown things out, you know?” I hugged myself protectively. Why wouldn't he just leave? He had said his peace. There was no reason for him to linger.

  “Hi, guys!” Leonor hopped into view, and a dollop of whipped cream hit the grass near my feet. I instinctively recoiled, even though it wasn't anywhere close to touching me.

  Dustin was unamused by her presence. He grunted and walked away without another word.

  Thank you, Leonor! Warding off assholes with your magic power of peppiness.

  “What was that all about?” The corners of her mouth dipped into a frown as she watched Dustin leave.

  “He wants his shirt back.” I let out a breath that I didn't even know I had been holding.

  “He wants his shirt back?” she parroted, collecting a fingerful of whipped cream from her neck and flicking it onto the grass. For the most part, her face was clean, probably wiped off with a towel earlier, but she'd missed a few spots.

  “Yeah.” I checked the time on my phone. It was 3 PM. The pie-throwing event was officially over. Leonor probably walked over to fetch me to help tear everything down. “He let me borrow one of his shirts when I threw up on mine. I haven't given it back yet.”

  “You should keep it,” she extended her hand to help me up, “as a souvenir of your time in his bedroom.”

  “A souvenir I don't want.” I rolled my eyes. “Besides, I really don't want to piss him off any more than I already have.”

  “I'll take the shirt.”

  “Giving it back is non-negotiable.” I brushed the grass off of my pants before bending to pick up my stuff.

  “Well, at least its an excuse to see him again.” She waggled her eyebrows at me. For some reason, she kept forgetting that I didn't want to ride Dustin's dick.

  “Oh goody.” The sarcasm in my voice couldn't be any thicker if I tried.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I should not have given two shits about the
asshole at that point, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Bobby. Not Dustin. Dustin was very much out of sight, out of mind. Despite my resolve to accept the fact that college had somehow managed to murder my friendship with Bobby, though, I just couldn't let it go. I thought about him every night. Not the daydreaming thoughts of love that I once had when we hung out together in high school, but thoughts of missing my friend, of missing just being around him. I didn't understand why things had to end. I didn't want them to end. It had been a while since we last spoke, but surely our friendship was still salvageable.

  I felt pathetic as I typed out a text message asking him if he was going to the party on Saturday. He responded within minutes, the same as he always had. There was a simple yes and nothing more. He didn't even bother asking if I was going, but I told him that I was anyway and that I'd see him there. My heart ached as I hit the Send button. I waited for a response. Way longer than I should have. There was none. The conversation was over.

  My fingers itched to ignite it again, to ask him if he wanted to go to the party together, but I had already made plans to go with Leonor and her friends. I was sure he wouldn't want to go with me anyway, I thought with a frown.

  ***

  Things were a lot different this time than they had been when I went to the last party. As I walked with the girls, there was an aching in my heart from the memory of taking this same path with Bobby not long ago. At the time, I had been full of so much hope for us. There were butterflies in my stomach, wondering what the night would bring. Now all I could think about was whether or not I'd see him tonight.

  Of course, I would. The frat house wasn't that big.

  If Bobby was at the party with Theresa, I just knew my night would be ruined.

  “Hey. What's wrong with you?” Leonor waved her hand in my direction to get my attention.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head, trying to dispel thoughts of Bobby.

  “You look like you want to cry,” Georgina snorted, seeming to take pleasure in that possibility.

  “I'm just not feeling great, is all.” I sighed, my shoulders slumping forward.

  “You should feel incredible.” Melody looked up to the sky. “We're going to a frat party. There are going to be lots of hot guys there. We're going to have the most amazing time drinking and dancing the night away.”

  I could only hope she was right. All I knew was that I couldn't let my bad mood drag everyone else down.

  The frat house was thrumming with music, just as it had been before. When we walked inside, my eyes instinctively darted around in search of Bobby. Thankfully, he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

  A guy holding a tray of beers stopped to offer us drinks. Leonor passed them out to us. Momentarily, I thought about the date rape testing strips in my purse. The girls didn't seem concerned. They sipped the beer as if they trusted the guy serving it implicitly, and so I decided to trust him too.

  Leonor huddled in with the rest of us. “I love how you don't even have to go out of your way to get a beer around here.”

  Holly held up her Solo cup. “It's great, isn't it.”

  “The best,” I muttered halfheartedly, even though I wholeheartedly agreed with them.

  “We need to get Debbie Downer over here out of her bad mood.” Georgina nodded towards me. “If we don't she's going to kill my buzz.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes but refrained.

  “I think we should chug these beers and get to dancing,” Leonor suggested.

  “Do you think that's such a good idea?” Holly wrinkled her nose.

  “Maybe you should just make her chug her beer.” The corner of Georgina's lips quirked into a smirk.

  “I'm good. I don't need to chug my beer. I'll be fine.” I held back a scowl, a bit miffed that Georgina was talking about me like I wasn't even there.

  To make matters worse, I caught a glimpse of someone familiar out of the corner of my eyes. My head snapped to the side as Bobby entered the party. He was so close that I could almost feel his aura...if there is such a thing. Just knowing that he was close caused a painful yearning within me.

  Despite my better judgment, I broke away from the girls to approach him. There was no one with him, so the thought of facing him wasn't so scary. Besides, the draw to connect with him again was so strong that it felt like a magnet willing me in his direction.

  “Hi.” There was nothing better to start off with.

  “Hi,” he replied pleasantly, though the tension between us was definitely there. Every interaction felt strained, but I was determined to break that cycle tonight. Even if he was dating someone else, there was no reason why we couldn't be friends.

  “Apparently, I don't need those date rape testing strips.” I gazed down at my beer. “I have friends willing to be Guinea pigs for me now.” I glanced over at the girls. They were all staring at me curiously. Except for Georgina. She was blatantly staring at Bobby. I kind of wanted to stab her in her eyes, but that wasn't what was important right now.

  “I'm glad you made friends.” Bobby looked past me as if he was trying to find an out. I could feel him slipping away by the second, and that made me desperate.

  “Have you...been avoiding me?” I shifted my weight, letting the discomfort of the question wind its way through my body.

  His eyes locked onto mine. “No. I've just been really busy lately. Sorry that I haven't been around.”

  He sounded sincere, but I wasn't sure if I could believe him. If he were telling me the truth...He could have at least texted me first. Once. Or made it seem like he still wanted to hang out.

  “Hey, Calhoun. Good to see you here.” A guy walked over and clapped his hand down on Bobby's shoulder.

  Bobby turned to exchange greetings, and then he was lost to me.

  With a frown, I shuffled back over to the girls, feeling like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs.

  “Who is that?” Georgina's gaze never broke away from Bobby.

  “A friend from high school,” I replied weakly, casting a dejected glance at Bobby.

  “Just a friend?”

  “Yeah. Just a friend.” The words hurt my heart as they spilled from my lips. They were the truth, though. Weren't they? Or were we not even friends anymore?

  There was silence for a moment. It felt like awkward stagnation was settling in, made heavier by my deepening depression, but then Leonor waved further into the house. “Let's go dancing.”

  I nodded. While I didn't really want to dance, getting away from Bobby would definitely make me feel better. Out of sight, out of mind. Except, it didn't really work that way with Bobby most of the time.

  We followed Leonor like ducklings. Almost as soon as we got to the dance floor, Holly was swept away from us by one of the guys. The rest of us went off to dance together, which was a lot more fun than I had thought it would be. Between sipping beer, people watching, and sweating out my bad mood on the dance floor, I was actually beginning to have fun. Bobby didn't like dancing, so the probability of him coming into this room was low. It was a safe place for me. Despite not wanting to dance originally, now I wondered if we could stay here all night.

  But then I spotted him.

  Dustin seemed to be just passing through. He didn't even notice me as he stopped to talk to a small group of people and then left the room again. I exhaled the breath I had been holding ever since I had laid eyes on him.

  His presence probably wouldn't have affected me as much if not for the fact that I had forgotten his stupid shirt in my room. I had been so preoccupied with thoughts of running into Bobby that I didn't even realize I'd left the shirt on my bed when we had started walking towards the party.

  I cursed under my breath, my body stiffening.

  “What's wrong?” Leonor shouted to me over the music.

  My shoulders slumped as I realized that the odds of me making it through the entire night without running into Dustin again weren't good. I needed to get his shirt. A whole lot of tension would be lifted from me on
ce I delivered it to him and didn't have to worry about it anymore.

  “I've got to go back to the dorm. I forgot something.” I chugged the rest of my beer.

  “Do you want us to go with you?” Leonor gave me a look of concern. The fact that she was willing to miss out on some of the party to accompany me was endearing, and it only made me like her more. It wasn't necessary, though. I wasn't going to make her suffer for my mistake.

  “Nah. I'll be right back. It shouldn't take long.” I turned from them, dropping my empty cup into one of the many garbage cans set up throughout the house on my way out.

  The walk back to the dorm was oddly relaxing. Though I hadn't drunk much, the alcohol that was in my system had helped to smooth out a lot of the anxiety that I'd been feeling.

  I arrived at my room and retrieved the shirt, then started back to the party. Somehow, up to that point, I had managed to keep from obsessing over seeing Bobby again. Each step towards the party was a reminder that he was there, though. A reminder of the pain that his dismissive actions had caused.

  Maybe it was because I had been leaving the party that it didn't affect me so badly before. Now, I felt like I was heading straight into a firestorm.

  What little reprieve I got from my feelings when I was dancing with the girls was gone. Now my thoughts were all about Bobby, and I hated myself for it. Would every college party be like this? Would I always have to deal with unpleasant emotions every time I saw him? I knew I wouldn't really be able to heal if I kept seeing him everywhere, especially if I didn't know the real reason why he'd pushed me away.

  No. I needed to talk to him. Really talk to him. Find out what the fuck was going on that was making him be such a douche bag towards me. And I needed to find out tonight. No matter how unpleasant it was for either one of us, we needed to have this conversation or else I was going to go out of my mind.

  With new resolve, I stepped into the party with Dustin's shirt clutched in my fist. It was like I was trying to garner strength from it or use it to stabilize myself. I wasn't sure which one. It felt like the only secure thing I had to cling to at that moment. Of course, if I ran into Dustin before I ran into Bobby, I'd give it back. Then I would have to call on whatever strength was within me to get through the night.