What Remains: Wasteland

by Kris Norris

  She landed on her back, banging her head against the tile as she skidded a few feet. Dots flickered across her vision as she pushed to her feet, swaying when she tried to move forward. Kace was on her before her vision cleared, his hands seizing her shoulders and pinning her to the wall. His body slammed hard against hers, and if it wasn’t for the rigid shaft pressing against her hip, she would have been scared she’d pushed him too far.

  His hand cupped her jaw, forcing her to look at him. “Damn it, Em. You’ve already had one concussion this week thanks to me. And now I’ve gone and made you hit your head again. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  She blinked, not sure why his image was still blurry as the anger started to ebb, and she rested her head against the wall, striving just to breathe. “This isn’t over.”

  “That’s the point. It’s just beginning, but you’re so damn stubborn, you’re determined to end it before we even have a chance to see how incredible it can be.”

  “I’m not the one who doesn’t trust my partner to do their job! How would you feel if I took your science away because of the risk you might get infected simply by the nature of your work?”

  Kace opened his mouth then closed it, swearing again as he looked away.

  She struggled enough to gain his attention again. “I’m a soldier. It’s not what I do, Kace. It’s part of who I am. Asking me to separate myself from that is like asking you to stop thinking. I’d never hurt you that way, so why is it okay to do it to me?”

  Tears gathered in her eyes as the truth of the matter hit home. It wasn’t the physical pain of the fight but the fact they simply didn’t love her enough to foresee how much this one action would hurt her. That their selfish insecurities were worth more than her heart. A sob broke from her chest, and she realized it didn’t matter how many times they said the words, this act alone proved they weren’t true.

  “Ah, fuck.” Kace pulled her closer, cradling her against his body as the dam she’d held back broke.

  Rhys leaving, Billy’s death, the friends she’d lost along the way—all the pain she’d suppressed surged forward, and she found herself on Kace’s lap, his hands wrapped around her as he rocked her back and forth. He muttered soothing words until she reined in her emotions and tried to pull away.

  He held her firm, preventing her from moving. “Would you just give me a chance to talk?” He shook his head. “Rhys is right about something. You’re exactly like that Tasmanian devil from the cartoons, whirling dervish and all. But that doesn’t mean we had the right to take this decision from you. I see that now.”

  He sighed, though it sounded as if the simple act had drained him somehow. “I’m going to be honest with you, Em. This goes against every instinct I have. Sexist or not, there’s this part of me that says it’s my job to protect you, and I can assure you Rhys and Hunter have that same part inside them…in spades.”

  He held up his hand when she went to speak. “Just listen. Does it kill me a bit inside every time I think of you going out on a mission? Absolutely. Am I happy you’re not out there right now putting your life on the line for some rusty car and a tank full of gas? Sure. I won’t lie.” He brushed her hair back from her face. “But I can honestly say that despite my fear of losing you, seeing you like this hurts me more.” He bowed his head. “I’m sorry for not trusting you. For not standing up for your right to be what you were born to be. I can only hope you can forgive me.”

  The sincerity in his voice clenched her heart, and she punched him in the shoulder. “Don’t. Don’t you dare make me love you more because I’m angry as hell right now.” She sobbed again, pressing her forehead to his. “Seriously angry.”

  He raised his head, kissing her forehead before pulling her close. “Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” He smiled against her hair. “You pack one hell of a punch for the size of you. Don’t think I want to ever face you like that again, especially if you decide you actually want to hurt me.”

  “Yeah, well you’ve got more moves than Rhys and Hunter put together. Especially that last one. Not many opponents get the better of me that way. Don’t suppose you’ll show it to me?”

  He furrowed his brow. “Do I want to know how you’re going to use it?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Didn’t think so. Fine, just promise me one thing? When you kick those two in the ass, I get to watch.”

  “Deal.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Emersyn sat near the door, watching Kace work. He’d spent a couple of hours with her, showing her different techniques for countering common attack sequences and how to use her smaller size to her advantage. The lesson had both thrilled and humbled her, especially when she saw firsthand how accurate and skilled he was. It’d made her realize how easy he’d gone on her in their fight and that she was lucky he loved her enough to allow her to prove her point.

  Of course, she’d made it up to him once she’d mastered several of the moves and had him successfully pinned to the ground. He’d feigned resistance, but she suspected she wasn’t the only one who enjoyed being restrained—not with the way he’d come so hard he’d left tiny fingertip bruises on her hips as he clenched her skin while she rode him to completion.

  The memory made her smile, and for a moment, she considered taking a different route. That perhaps Hunter and Rhys would listen to reason. Then the creak of the hatch opening echoed through the entire area, and her anger returned stronger than ever. She glanced at her watch. Only half an hour before sunset. What the hell were they thinking?

  Kace’s gaze met hers as she looked his way, wondering if he’d try to stop her. But he merely gave her a nod, turning back to his work. A sly smile curved her lips. There was far more to Kace than she’d ever suspected, and she’d have to remember later to thank him for understanding. Then she moved over to the side of the door, hiding herself in the shadow cast from the adjoining tunnel.

  Disjointed creaks and groans drifted through the air, but she knew the boys would head for the lab when they didn’t find her or Kace anywhere else. Too bad they’d find more than they bargained for. Footsteps sounded outside the door before a voice boomed through the room.

  “Jesus Christ, Kace. What the hell happened to the kitchen?” Rhys appeared in the doorway, his gaze searching the room until it landed on Kace. “It looks like one hell of a battle…”

  His voice keened into a grunt when Emersyn slipped out, catching him by surprise and launching him across the room using one of her arm locks. He landed on his back with a solid thud, the sound fueling the fire burning inside her. Hunter’s hands landed on her shoulders before he must have recognized it was her. He hesitated, and Em capitalized on his momentary lapse, landing a few quick elbows to his ribs before hiking him over her hip and dumping him on the floor beside Rhys. Hunter groaned as he hit the tile, giving his head a shake as he gazed backward at her.

  Rhys rolled onto one knee glaring at her. “For god’s sake, Emersyn, it’s just us.”

  She feigned her best apologetic smile, all the while planning her next move. She stepped over to him, extending her hand. He stared at it then accepted, cursing when she used his hold to twist her body, again obtaining a lock that had him on his back, his arm stretched out behind him. She had just enough time to toss it down before Hunter was on her, grabbing her around the waist in an attempt to control her. She dropped her weight, slipping free of his arms, the move exposing his leg. She grabbed it, effectively sending him backward. She spun once he smacked on the floor, chest heaving, cheeks burning with anger.

  Rhys stared at her, a flash of understanding shaping his face. “Okay, Emersyn. Why don’t you tell us what the hell’s going on?”

  She remained at the ready, knowing this could be a ruse to put her off-guard while they launched their own attack. And unlike Kace, they knew exactly how much punishment she could take.

  Hurt churned in her stomach, but she held on to the anger, knowing she’d need more of it before she was done. “I told you we w
ere far from done and that you’d never see it coming. Get up.”

  Hunter released a weary breath, relaxing on his elbows. “All right. Obviously, you’re angry about our decision, but try to see it from our perspective.”

  “Your perspective! You two broke the code.” She crossed her arms on her chest. “Three to a team. No exceptions. Shit, Hunter, you got stabbed in the damn leg because you insisted on bringing that bloody mercenary along, because god forbid we didn’t have a third guy with us. Yet here we are in the middle of fucking infected, and you two take a stroll into town without so much as a second thought! So forgive me if I don’t see things from your perspective.”

  Rhys growled. “This is different, and you know it.”

  She huffed. “The only thing that’s different is that somewhere over the past few days, I’ve gone from being a partner to you three, to nothing more than a possession you think you can control.”

  Hunter held up his hand. “Emersyn—”

  “Get. Up.”

  Rhys moved first, rolling to his feet and launching an attack she’d seen him use a thousand times before. She dodged the first few strikes, using what Kace had shown her to stay low, making him work harder to reach her. He must have read her intentions and changed his approach, catching her around the waist and bodily taking her to the floor. She allowed him to shift on top just enough she could wrap her legs around his torso, levering them in the same direction and sending him over her shoulders. She thought she heard Kace mumbled a muted ‘yeah’, but Hunter was on her before she had time to do more than scramble onto her knees.

  He picked her up, countering her attempts at slipping free before spinning her in his arms and pinning her to the wall. Rhys popped off the floor and joined Hunter, using his body to keep half of hers still. She raised her knees, aiming for their crotches when Rhys grabbed her chin, his face mere inches from hers.

  Anger had deepened the brown in his eyes to a dark chocolate. “Enough.”

  When she kept struggling he planted his mouth on hers, catching her gasp of surprise before releasing, his hand still cupping her jaw.

  “I said enough, Emersyn.”

  Pain flared in her chest, prickling tears in her eyes. Ragged pants racked her body as she allowed her head to fall against the wall, her muscles spent. “Four years. Four years I bled for you, suffered with you. Did everything but die for you. I’ve had both your backs through more missions than I can count. Now suddenly I’m not good enough? Do have any idea how that feels?”

  She choked back a sob, unable to stop the flow of tears as they faded down her face unchecked. She turned away from Rhys, but he placed a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. Dirt smeared his jaw, and a small line of blood creased his cheek from her last assault.

  Anger still burned in his eyes, but it was tempered by fear. He took a few heavy breaths, visibly regaining his composure before leaning in. “This has nothing to do with whether we think you’re good enough, and you bloody well know it.”

  “Bullshit!”

  “Or maybe we just want to keep you safe. Jesus, Em, didn’t you even stop to consider that? Do you have any idea how we’d feel if anything happened to you?”

  She glared at him. “Probably the same way I’d feel if something happened to one of you, so don’t try to turn this around, Rhys. I’m just as skilled as you or Hunter and just as deadly. Do you think it would mean less to me if one of you died?”

  The expression on Rhys’ face sobered. “There’re three of us. There’s only one of you.”

  Pain ricocheted around her chest, striking everything in its path. “So? What the hell has that got to do with anything?”

  “It means that whether you like it or not, you’re a price we’re not willing to pay. End of story.”

  “So you’re telling me that my life is worth more than any of yours?”

  He clenched his jaw. “In a matter of speaking, yes.”

  Her chin quivered again, the truth of the statement like a physical blow to her body. Nausea swarm through her gut, and she had to bite back the bile that crested her throat. Hunter must have sensed her impending sickness and released her, nodding at Rhys to do the same. She bent forward, holding her stomach as she retched once, threatening to empty the contents on the floor. The men took a step back, as is unsure what move to make next. She let her ass rest against the wall for balance, waiting for the feeling to pass before looking up at them.

  She straightened, sneering at Rhys as she opened her hand and struck at his face. He caught her wrist before she landed her palm, holding it an inch away.

  She didn’t waver, staring him down as she took one small step closer, more than entering his personal space. “How dare you demean what I feel for the three of you? That because there’re more of you that makes you disposable. After everything we’ve shared, I thought I’d shown you that I love all of you. That you each hold a piece of me I could never replace. If this is how you truly feel…if you think you’re nothing more than numbers to me then you’re not the men I thought you were.”

  She pulled her hand free, stumbling past them as she made for the door, still hunched over slightly in an effort to keep the nausea at bay. She stopped in the threshold, looking at them over her shoulder. “I can’t do this. Not like this. I won’t.”

  Rhys watched her leave, tears streaming down her face, her shoulders hunched with shame and regret, and all he could do was stand there, wondering what in the hell had just happened.

  A tumble of emotions hit him, and he turned to Kace, glaring at him. “What the hell, Kace? We leave and all’s fine then we come back and Emersyn’s on the warpath. What the hell did you say to her?”

  Kace marched over, invading his space like Em had done moments before. “All I did was tell her the truth. You saw the kitchen. I can assure you she didn’t take the news well.”

  “So your solution was to teach her some new moves? ‘Cause I know for a fact those last couple of sequences weren’t hers.”

  Kace turned, throwing his hands in the air as he stalked away. “Did you hear a thing she said? This isn’t about a fight or some new goddamn moves. This is about us, disrespecting her. Not giving her the choice as to whether she hung up her rifle or not. It’s not our decision to make. I see that now.”

  Rhys snorted. “Oh, so she gives you the puppy eyes and all of a sudden you don’t care if she gets mauled by some freaking zombie? Is that what you’re telling us, because it sure as shit sounds like it.”

  Kace shook his head. “Are you that naive? She gave me twice the beating she gave you before I could grapple her into submission. But that’s not why I changed my mind. She asked me how I’d feel if I had to give up my research. If I had to deny who I was, not what I did. How can we force her to be anything other than a soldier? You heard her. She’s had your back for years, and that was always good enough.”

  Hunter stepped forward. “She wasn’t our lover before.”

  “No. And you treated her like an equal instead of some second-rate whore.”

  Rhys pounded his fist against the wall. “Wanting to keep her safe isn’t treating her like a fucking whore.”

  Kace sighed. “No. We managed to do that all by ourselves.”

  Rhys slammed his hand against the wall again, embracing the pain that shot up his arm, knowing it was the only thing that might keep him grounded.

  Hunter tapped him on the shoulder, his expression speaking volumes. “He’s right.” He stopped him from interrupting with a wave of his hand. “Look. I love Em as much as you do. So does Kace. But she’s right. It’s not our decision.”

  Rhys shook his head. “She’s all we’ve got.”

  Hunter gave him a guarded smile. “And we’re all she’s got. I know she told you she grew up in foster care. This unit…” He motioned to the three of them. “Us. We’re the only family she’s ever known. The only reason she’s kept going all this time. To lose one of us would be just as traumatic…and we should have recognize
d that.” He kicked at the floor. “After everything that happened with Billy, I should have.”

  Rhys sighed, patting Hunter on the shoulder. “It wasn’t just you. In fact, I was the one pushing you guys to go along. It’s just…”

  Kace nodded. “You love her. And you can’t imagine living without her.”

  “Guess we’re not quite as tough as we think.”

  “Either way, I can tell you Emersyn’s not going to budge on this. It’d be like asking you to cut off your own arm. Either we trust her to make good decisions, or we lose her. It’s that simple.”

  Rhys chuckled. “Simple is any other woman but Emersyn.” He smiled at Kace. “She really take you on?”

  “I’d rather face ten guys in the ring than her when she’s pissed.”

  Rhys frowned. “The ring? I thought you only trained.”

  Kace grinned. “Right. Only trained.”

  Rhys shook his head. “Damn, isn’t anyone straight forward here? Forget I asked. I’m not sure I want to know.” He glanced at the door. “I’ve never seen her cry like that before. Sure she’s been upset, but not like that.”

  Hunter nudged him. “She’s not going to be in a good mood.”

  “Figured as much. But since I got us into this mess…” He started for the tunnel. “Just stay close in case she decides two men are more than enough for her.”

  The other men chuckled as Rhys made his way down the corridor, stopping shy of the next bunker. Soft sobbing sounds echoed into the tunnel, and he knew she was huddled somewhere in the next room, crying. The thought made his stomach heave. The others were right. Stilling his fear wasn’t worth this.

  He looked around the corner, finally spying her on the back mattress. She’d hugged her legs to her chest, laying her head across her knees. She looked broken. He released a weary breath, taking a few steps inside when her head tilted, her eyes gazing in his direction.

  “Not now, Rhys. Just please leave me alone.”