Long Hard Fall
Page 18
Hannah’s squeal of delight reached him. The sound trampled his last nerve. Sure, she could enjoy herself because she didn’t have to deal with the fallout of what she did.
He couldn’t take it. He slipped through the door to the garage, stomped into his boots, and marched out into the snow. He hopped into his truck. As soon as his engine fired, everyone would know he’d left.
Merry fucking Christmas. He drove across the gravel road to his driveway and scowled at Mom’s car in the drive.
She’d done what she’d promised. I’m spending Christmas with my children. Dad had stayed last night and planned to leave town as soon as the shindig at Dillon’s was done. Or hell, stay in town with an old flame of his.
Mom must’ve timed her arrival so they’d all be away. Less confrontation that way.
He parked and went to the door. He stomped the snow off his boots and went inside.
Mom came out of the guest room. “What are you doing home so early?”
Ah, shit. He wasn’t prepared with an answer. “I just didn’t want to be there.”
Concern crossed her face. “Why?”
“Just…didn’t.” He tried to head for the kitchen, but she blocked him.
“I think we need to talk.”
He exhaled and gave her a not now look.
“Please.” She gestured to the couch. “Sit down, Cash.”
Like he was still a little boy, he trudged to sit. Mom settled into the recliner next to him.
“What really happened with Abbi?”
“I told you. I ruined it.”
Her lips flattened. “Why do you think you ruined it?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Because I’m not meant for a relationship.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Isn’t it what you’ve been telling me my whole life?” More bitterness than he intended seeped out. “‘Don’t be like your dad. Don’t get into a relationship if you’re just going to hurt her.’”
She blinked, her mouth hanging open. “I was trying to teach you how to be a good man in a relationship, not that you’d be awful at them.”
His gaze dropped to the floor. “Do you have any idea how what you said affected me?”
She sat forward. “Of course not! Cash, how could you think…?”
“Because of Holly. And Dad.”
She was quiet for a moment. “And you felt like I resented you and made you pay, in a way, for how your father hurt me.”
Cash nodded. He shouldn’t have said anything. Who knows how he’d unsettled Dillon’s gathering, and now he’d ruined the one at his own house.
Her sniffle jerked his head up. “Oh god, Cash. You’re one of the best human beings I know. I’m proud to be your mom.” Tears poured down her cheeks. She searched around for a tissue.
He scrambled up to find one for her. He wanted to believe her, but making his own mother cry on Christmas kinda negated her claim.
As he was coming back, the front door burst open.
“Cash! Where the hell are y—” Dad stopped when his gaze hit Cash. Sissy was right behind him, frowning at their sobbing mother. “Patty, what’s wrong?”
Cash handed Mom the tissue and sat back down. This was going to be fun.
She blew her nose. “Nothing. Everything. I just realized I was a horrible mom.” Her shoulders quaked as sobs overtook her.
“What’d you do, Cash?” Dad marched in, then stopped. He stepped forward like he wanted to comfort his soon-to-be ex-wife, but ultimately hung back.
“What’d you say, Cash?” Sissy shot him a glare and squatted by their mom. “Mom, it’s okay. You’re a great mom.”
He might be to blame, but they’d jumped on him almost immediately. “Easy for you to say, Sissy.” Cash jumped up again and stormed to the window. “Of course life was smooth for you. I was the mediator between your bullshit and Mom and Dad.”
“Ca—”
He cut her off with a wave of his hand. “And I’m still doing it. You’re old enough to drink. Old enough to join the military. Yet you’re constantly asking me to talk to Mom and Dad for you. And you two.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, Mom. You weren’t a shitty mom. But I’m the kid in the relationship. You and Dad need to deal with your own issues. I can’t do it anymore. Yeah, thirty might be on the horizon, but I want to think everything is hunky-dory between you two.”
Mom lifted her head to stare at him with red, puffy eyes. Dad planted his hands on his hips and remained silent. Sissy gaped at him.
“And what went wrong with Abbi? She was pissed and felt betrayed when I treated her the same way I treat you all. I protected her because I thought she couldn’t handle it.” He spun back to the window. “And it wasn’t something insignificant. I was the only one who knew her brother purposely stepped on an IED so she’d get his life insurance money. Was I wrong to keep that information from her?”
How’d he gone from bitching them out to asking for their opinion? But he had to know. Had he been wrong?
“Was I?” He sounded pathetic to his own ears. But that question robbed him of sleep, stole his peace. He’d only wanted to do right by Abbi.
“Oh…Cash…” Mom blew her nose. Sissy hit the floor, sitting cross-legged to watch him with wide eyes.
“You know that for sure. About her brother?” Dad asked.
“As sure as I can be without bringing him back from the dead to ask.” He massaged a temple. “She was so upset…so hurt.”
Dad shuffled across the floor to take a seat. “You kept it secret all this time? How’d she find out?”
Cash scowled. He spilled the story. How they’d met. Her ex. Why he’d never gotten serious with a girl. Abbi’s parents and their accusations. When he was done, his shoulders hung and he felt like twenty years had been piled on him.
He shouldn’t burden them with this, but he couldn’t do it by himself anymore.
Mom spoke first. “I have to agree with Dillon. That’s something only Abbi could decide, and like you found out, she wanted to know. Rather, it wasn’t so much that she wanted to know, it was that she felt it was important to know. Does that make sense?”
He’d managed her just like his family. Even worse, he’d failed to treat her like the capable adult she was, instead joining the ranks of Ellis and everyone else who thought they knew what was best for her.
After years of being smothered by her family and her boyfriend, Abbi had been fed up with others determining what she was fit to handle. She’d trusted him not to do that.
He let his head hang. So now he understood. And he’d still made his mom cry on Christmas.
“Just like you should’ve told us to handle our own problems.” Mom sucked in a deep breath. “You’re easy to talk to. I treasure your support, but I can see now how…” She teared up again.
“Aw, Mom. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
She shook her head, her brown hair flying. “No. You’re right.” She lifted her gaze to Dad’s. “You and I need to keep this between us.”
“I still want to know what’s going on,” Sissy piped up. “You guys have to include me, no matter how far away I am.”
“We’ll keep you updated.” Dad’s expression was troubled. But then he’d just been told his actions had fucked up not only his marriage but his son’s outlook on relationships. “Cash is right. This mess is between your mom and I. I… I know what I was like and why we’re getting divorced. I’ll…” He looked at each one of them. “Let’s just have a nice meal with all of us.” He stopped on his wife. “Patty, can you tolerate me hanging around for a little while?”
Her features were carefully void of emotion. “I think it’s important that we learn to enjoy family functions together. Not just for the kids, but for our own well-being. I don’t want either of us to miss out.”
“Me, either.” Dad cleared his throat, like he might be tearing up, too. The divorce was tearing at all of them. “Cash, think we can find something to grill?”
The first person he wanted to tell about his family’s progress was out of his reach. But if it weren’t for her, this would’ve never happened. At least he had that.
Yeah.
That didn’t make him feel better.
***
Dishes were piled on the table. Only a few slices of roast beef remained. Cash’s family had decimated the vegetables he had left in the fridge. This was the lowest-key Christmas on record. When his family celebrated, they included everyone. And Cash missed his extended family and hanging out with his cousins, especially the ones he didn’t get to see often. But he wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.
There was still a heavy dose of awkwardness between Mom and Dad, but that’d decrease in time. Mom mentioned going to a divorce support group, and while the divorce was hitting Dad hard, at least he seemed to be owning his role and accepting that his life had changed.
They didn’t talk about Mom’s newest…boyfriend? Man-friend? Lover? Cash wanted to shudder. But they didn’t talk about Dad’s conquests, either. Cash, and probably Sissy, was just fine with that arrangement. If either parent’s special friend turned into a significant other, then he’d want details. Until then, ignorance was bliss.
Sissy talked excitedly about the information the recruiter had given her, and Cash was content to listen. Residual sadness lingered, but he supposed he had to get used to missing Abbi.
On the flip side, his house was cleaner than it’d ever been. Since he didn’t go out as much, just to bullshit with the boys, he’d had some extra nights free. He’d even finished painting all the bedrooms and had a list compiled for the lumberyard and hardware store.
A knock on the door cut off all conversation.
His parents were used to not living here anymore and Cash was the only one that rose.
He opened the front door to Dillon, Brock, Aaron, and Travis.
Oh. Yeah. He’d just walked out on Christmas dinner. Hadn’t even congratulated his best friend on his engagement.
“Sorry, guys, I—”
“Back up, we’re coming in,” Dillon said as he stepped forward.
Okay. Cash internally prepped for confrontation number two. He moved out of the way as his cousins filed in. His parents and Sissy stood at the entrance into the living room but hung back as if they sensed the other guys’ intent.
“Look, Dillon, I’m sorry I left. Congratulations, man. I’m happy for you.” The sincerity was easier for Cash to get out than when he’d tried earlier. Abbi had ripped a gaping hole in his heart, but Dillon’s future was important to him.
“Thanks, but we’re here about you.” Dillon crossed his arms. He and the others stood on the welcome mat, boots dripping melted snow into the fabric. None of them had worn coats. Cash glanced outside. Aaron’s black and gray pickup was parked in the driveway.
“What about me?” They hadn’t asked Sissy or his parents for privacy. Whatever it was, everyone was going to hear.
Aaron crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not much better than a ghost. We have to figure out how to get Abbi back.”
So…that’s why they were here. A quick little trip to rally his morale and win the love of his life back.
“Sorry, guys. I tried. She wouldn’t speak to me.”
Brock spoke. “But she never said she wouldn’t take you back, right?”
Cash narrowed his eyes at him and shook his head.
Travis scratched his jaw. “That’s the loophole. And here we thought we were going to start at ground zero.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Dillon answered. “When you left, we had a little brainstorming session. It’s been almost two months and you haven’t rebounded, you haven’t moved on. Hell, I can’t even say whether you’re in stasis or not. You’re like a ranching zombie.”
Aaron’s head bobbed. “You’re sad, dude.”
Hope rustled in his chest, but he brushed it aside. He’d called. He’d texted. Abbi hadn’t answered.
Cash pinched the bridge of his nose. Getting Abbi to listen to him was only the first hurdle. Expecting her to take another chance on him, but risk estranging herself from her parents, wasn’t fair.
Aaron clapped his shoulder. “I’m sure if you show up on her doorstep, she’ll at least listen. She was crazy about you.”
Cash was crazy about her, too, but two months had passed. Was she still? Would it matter? “It’s not just us. It’s her parents. They, uh…they’ve heard about me, and that was after they felt like I insulted them and their son’s memory. They think I as good as killed him.”
Silence.
Anticipation died in their expressions.
“That’s heavy,” Dillon said.
“Yeah.” And that was it. Operation Win Back Abbi was over before it had started.
“May I intervene as a parent?” Mom came forward. “I can’t put myself in Abbi’s parents’ place; I can only imagine how hurt and devastated they are. And to go through it a second time… Well, I don’t think an apology and an explanation is ever the wrong move. They’ve already lost their son. But offering them your sincere feelings about their son and how much he meant to you might help them realize he wasn’t alone in his last days, even if he felt alone.”
Cash waited for the instant horror at the idea of confronting Daniels’s parents with his failure. That emotion had faded also. Three years had passed and Cash had matured. Yeah, he could do that. “There’s still my reputation.” He shrugged helplessly. “I can’t take it back.”
He didn’t even want to. He was who he was. If he were honest, he’d rather have a million one-night stands and a clean slate with respect to relationships than the baggage of several failed relationships that might hinder his openness with Abbi.
Mom spoke. “I’m proud to call you my son, and if they can’t accept you, then they can suck it.” Heads whipped toward her. “Well, after you discuss their son with them. Otherwise, that part of your life is your own. How you treat their daughter is between you and Abbi, but they’ll still be concerned about it. All they want to know is that you’ll do right by her.”
“I can’t imagine a family not being as proud of you as we are,” Dad said.
Cash looked around at everyone. Mom was right. “The least I can do is talk with Mr. and Mrs. Daniels.”
“I’ll go with you for that,” Dillon said. “I should’ve contacted them somehow, but I didn’t even send a damn card.”
“I don’t know what to do about Abbi. I’m sure I can get her to talk to me, but I don’t know if I can convince her to give me another chance.”
Aaron grinned. “Well then…I think you just need to make a big enough show of your intentions to win her back.”
Travis nodded and spoke in his clinical, academic tone. “You said she was trying hard to be a responsible adult, so you’ll need to appeal to her wild side, prove that’s the part of her you accept. Make a big show, but not just any actions will do. You need to find a way to make it about you and her, but not a stupid or empty gesture.”
Cash studied the smartest man he knew. Travis had listened to him moaning over his beer about how he’d fucked it up with Abbi. Cash didn’t have a wingman, he had a wingteam, and he’d be foolish not to let them do their thing.
Chapter Twenty
Well, she’d made it through another week of work—almost.
Abbi leaned into the speaker. “I’ve included an invite card with your deposit slip. Feel free to share with family and friends.” Her smile must be as empty as she felt. The customer drove away and she allowed her pleasantness to fade. New year, new attitude…that idea had lasted until 12:10 a.m. on New Year’s Day. It was still the first week of January, with a long year ahead.
With a sigh, she turned t
o her coworker. The rest of the bank was quiet, the drive-up staying open an hour after the rest of the bank had closed.
“Fifteen minutes left,” Jessica announced.
Abbi flashed another false smile. Yay.
“You’re coming out with us tonight, right?” Jessica clapped her hands together, excited about their plans.
Abbi was less than thrilled. She had committed to a girls’ night, but her heart wasn’t in it—and she hadn’t said when she’d go. Her coworkers had been trying to get her out after they’d found out she was single again.
I know the place you can find a nice guy, or a not so nice guy.
It’s ladies’ night at the Well.
How about…
Abbi wanted to scream like a banshee at them. She’d made the mistake of going out once. She’d snuck out early, feigning a headache when it had really been a heartache. How long could she sit here and wonder if Cash was doing the same thing? Had he sauntered into Barley ‘n’ Hops, like the ovary magnet he was, picked up a random for the night, and gone to back to her place?
Abbi couldn’t fault him. The guy had opened himself up and trusted her to be his first relationship, and while he’d messed up, she’d tossed it all back into his face and walked.
The familiar icy sickness washed through her veins when she thought of him taking another chance on another woman and starting something serious. It’d been almost two and a half months. Hell, he could be engaged by now.
She massaged her temples. Why was that so much worse than one-nighter Cash?
Jessica gasped. “Oh. My. God. There’s a horse in the drive-up! Oh my god, he’s hot.”
The horse was hot? Abbi spun around and her mouth dropped open. Jessica wasn’t exaggerating. There was a horse in the drive-up. Patsy Cline? She sucked in a breath, echoing Jessica. Her gaze drifted to the man astride the horse. One hand held the reins, the other was propped on a leg, and his serious expression was focused on her.
“Cash?” she spoke and realized she hadn’t used the speaker. She depressed the button. “Cash.”
Patsy Cline jerked her head up and Cash murmured soothing words to her. Abbi wanted to be the one on the receiving end of his sweet whispers.