Cowboy 12 Pack
Page 115
She dropped her gaze. “Sorry.” She hated to admit to herself how much the thought of Jamie with another woman burned her through and through.
“Not sorry enough. Get it through your head. You’re the only woman for me.”
She busied herself with the horses, not daring to answer that. When they exited the barn, she caught Rose’s eye. Rose was already mounted on her horse and as her gaze swept Claire and Jamie, she started in surprise, then a smile spread over her face.
Claire raised an eyebrow. What had Rose seen? Remembering their conversation in Autumn’s kitchen, she looked Jamie over, then stared down at herself. Had her energy…changed?
God, she hoped so.
ALL IN ALL, the ride went smoothly enough and there were plenty of hands to make setting up the camp at the end of the day quick work. Rose might not have been the gourmet chef that Autumn was turning out to be, but the evening meal was incredibly tasty after a day out in the fresh air, and as dusk deepened into night the group sat around a campfire telling stories and jokes, even singing a song or two.
Autumn packed plenty of beer, and the evening definitely took on a mellow feel as it progressed. Maddy, who hadn’t made eye contact with Jamie all day, sat close to Ned. Jake and Luke made a point of squiring Liz and Adrienne around. Ethan and Christine were engaged in a conversation about the best time to wean infants. Angel had already gone to bed.
Ethan headed off to his tent. Christine went to hers. Several of the other couples slipped off into the night and Jamie grimaced as he thought the Cruz Guest Ranch might get a reputation it wasn’t entirely after. Still, he couldn’t blame anyone. He sure planned to make the most of his time with Claire.
She was busy helping Rose pack things away for the night. Rob was looking after the horses, checking them one last time before turning in. Jamie wanted to clean up a bit before his night with Claire. He joined her where she was packing the food into a bag near a rope dangling over an overhead tree branch. Once she was done, she’d haul it up high away from marauding animals.
“Want help with that?”
“I’ve got it.”
“Meet you back at the tent?”
“You in a rush?” She smiled.
“I’ve got a thing or two to do before you get there. See you soon.”
He’d set up their tent a little ways apart from the others in a stand of pine trees. Claire was a ranch girl and she wasn’t squeamish, but a day on the trail had him as stinky as a skunk in heat. There wasn’t a lot he could do to fix that, but he’d at least give it a try.
He hadn’t been in the tent for two minutes, however, when footsteps approached and someone cleared her throat outside. “Jamie?”
It wasn’t Claire. He swore softly. He’d been rummaging in a bag by flashlight, trying to find some soap and a wash rag. The tent was hard to move around in, with bedding and bags piled up to one side.
“Yeah.”
“It’s Morgan. Can I come in?”
He relaxed. Not one of his oversexed guests, then. “Sure thing.” He unzipped the door and she stepped in, the flashlight sending odd shadows to her face. She moved stiffly and he wondered if the ride had been more than she was used to.
“I didn’t want to tell Claire, because she’s already so freaked out about putting me in danger,” she began.
“She should be,” Jamie interrupted. “That was a damn fool trick.”
“I went along with it,” she said shortly. “Anyway, I’m really sore.”
“From the ride?”
“No. Those guys…they were pretty rough the other night. They knocked me around a bit. Something really hurts between my shoulder blades.”
Jamie sucked in a breath, a haze of anger surging upwards in him again. He didn’t know how much time would have to pass before he could think of the previous night’s events without being overcome by the desire to pound Ledstrom to a bloody pulp.
“I can’t see it,” Morgan went on. “Like I said, I didn’t want to ask Claire to look. She feels so bad already. I can’t ask Rob, either. I’m having a hard enough time fending him off. If I start undoing my shirt he’ll be all over me.”
Jamie suppressed a smile. “I thought you liked him.”
“I do. Sort of. But my life isn’t here—it’s back in Canada. Why start something I can’t finish? Anyway,” she sighed. “I know this is weird but would you just look at my back. I swear I won’t jump you.”
“Sure. Better do it quick, though, if you don’t want Claire to see, too. She’ll be here in a minute.”
Morgan turned her back to him, undid a few buttons of her shirt and dropped it down over her shoulders so it hung near her waist. “See anything?”
Jamie held up the flashlight. “Shit.” A dark blue-black bruise spread over most of her back. “Morgan, I’ve never seen anything like that.”
CLAIRE FROZE AS she approached the tent where it lay secluded in a stand of wiry pine trees. A flashlight inside lit the canvas structure and highlighted two silhouettes against a backdrop of white.
A man and a woman.
Jamie and Morgan.
Their shadows juddered and dodged, but they stood close together, Morgan’s head turned to Jamie, his hands stretched out to touch her.
“Morgan,” Jamie said, his voice low and husky. “I’ve never seen anything like that.”
Like what? What was she showing him?
Morgan moved and her shadow clarified. Something bunched around her waist—her shirt?—her breasts sharply delineated against the nylon. Half undressed, she moved closer to Jamie.
“Hold still,” he said. “I want a closer look.”
Rage surged inside her. This could not be happening again—not again. First her mother and Mack, then Daniel and Edie. Now Jamie? Her fiance?
He couldn’t even wait until after the wedding to cheat on her?
No.
She couldn’t stand it.
With a cry of pain, she darted forward, unzipped the tent and pushed inside. “You bitch!” She leaped forward to shove her half-sister to the ground. “I knew it! I knew you weren’t what you were pretending to be!”
“Claire!” Jamie caught Morgan before she hit the floor. Claire fell on top of her and all three of them crashed to the ground.
“Ouch!” The pile of bedding beside them moved, jerked, and a blonde head popped out, followed by a naked set of shoulders.
“Angel? What the hell are you doing here?” Claire said. Morgan tried to scramble to her knees, but Claire shoved her down again.
“I was waiting for Jamie,” Angel said in her dreamy voice. “I must have fallen asleep. You took so long,” she whined at him.
Claire’s rage turned to outright fury. “Two women? Two of them? What were you planning, an orgy?”
“Jesus, Claire, calm down.” Jamie lifted Morgan off his lap and slid out from under her. “I was just…”
“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to have anything to do with you. Screw your house and screw you, Jamie Lassiter!” She tugged the engagement ring she’d worn for over a month off and threw it in his face. Fumbling her way out of the tent, the pain of understanding that it was over—absolutely over between them—took her breath away.
“Claire, stop! Where are you going?”
“Back to Billings. I’m done with all of you.”
IT TOOK FOREVER to restore a sobbing Morgan back to Rob and escort Angel to her tent with firm instructions not to leave it again for the duration of the night. By that time, Claire and Storm were gone.
It was madness for her to set off in the dark over open rangeland. There was no path to follow—no way for her to get home without careful attention to landmarks and directions. How the hell she planned to do that in the dark, he didn’t know.
“What’s going on?” Ethan asked, materializing by his side as he saddled his horse.
“Claire caught me with Morgan and Angel. I wasn’t doing anything,” he snapped as Ethan’s eyebrow’s rose. “I want y
our sister, not your…half-sister, for god’s sake.”
“Yeah, I know. Where is Claire?”
“Gone.”
Ethan sighed. “Not again.”
“I can handle this one alone.”
After a moment’s hesitation Ethan nodded. “Go get her.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”
CLAIRE WANTED TO urge Storm on to a canter, or even a full out gallop, but while she might risk it on known territory, she wouldn’t do that to a horse here. She couldn’t believe she’d been tricked again. Couldn’t believe she’d fallen for the one man she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was incapable of fidelity. So much for the difference between flirting and cheating. If one led to the other, who cared about definitions?
Face it, she wasn’t special enough to keep a man’s attention. She wasn’t even good enough to keep her own mother’s attention.
She swiped a tear with the back of her hand and scanned the ground in front of her as best she could. Was she even heading in the right direction? One part of her didn’t care—wanted to get lost in these rolling hills. The other part, the rational part who’d grown up here in the wide-open spaces of Montana, knew that she had little water and no food and wouldn’t last long if she got lost. She’d better slow down and get her bearings.
As she reined Storm in to a halt, however, she heard hoofbeats behind her and Jamie rode up before she could urge her horse forward again.
“For God’s sake, Claire, would you listen to me for once? Really listen?” he said without preamble.
“There’s nothing more for you to say.”
“Yes, there is. There’s plenty. You walked in on me back there in a situation that looked like something it wasn’t. You need to let me explain.”
“I don’t need to let you do anything. There’s one thing I’m perfectly clear about—I’m not going to be the little woman who sits at home while you flirt and sleep with everything in a skirt. I’m not going to do it. I’m worth more than that!”
Her voice hitched and more tears slipped from her eyes. Damn it, she wasn’t going to cry—she was angry, not sad.
“Claire.” Jamie came up beside her and reached out. She slapped his hand away.
“Don’t.” Storm sidestepped beneath her and she patted her flank to try to calm the mare. “I can’t do this. I can’t be afraid every minute about how you’ll betray me next.”
“I’ve never betrayed you,” Jamie said angrily. “I’ve never betrayed anyone. Morgan was hurt and she didn’t want you to know. She said you blamed yourself enough already and she didn’t want to add to your worry. She’s got an awful bruise on her back—she shouldn’t even be on this ride—and she asked me to check it out so that neither you nor Rob would flip your lids.”
“What about Angel?”
“What about her? She’s a lunatic. I didn’t even know she was there.”
“What about the others—I’ve seen the way they look at you.”
“Have you seen me return any of their attention? At all? I’ve kept up my side of the bargain. I haven’t flirted with anyone. I haven’t given them the time of day.”
“You sure gave the time of day to Hannah O’Dell. You couldn’t keep your hands off of her!”
Jamie stared at her as if she’d lost her mind. “Hannah O’Dell? What the heck are you talking about?”
“I saw you with her—two years ago in your cabin. All over her.”
For a minute Jamie couldn’t seem to catch up. Finally, he said, “Let me get this straight—you spied on me and Hannah O’Dell? Why the hell would you do that?”
She swung Storm away from him, clicking her teeth, but Jamie headed her off. “Tell me—why would you be at my cabin in the middle of the night?”
“I came…I wanted…” Damn it, she could barely talk for the ache in her throat.
“Jesus, Claire did you come to see me? Two years ago?” Jamie swung down off his horse, ducked around it and reached up for her. Before she could pull away, he’d tugged her down off of Storm. “I was breaking up with her, did you realize that? I was breaking up with her because I hoped you finally wanted to be with me. Then…you never came back. You fell for Ledstrom instead.”
The anguish was all too clear in his voice.
“Funny way to break up with her,” she finally made herself say, weighed down with the knowledge that she’d been guilty of break-up sex once or twice herself. “It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. We can’t get married because if we do you’ll be sick of me in a matter of days.”
“How can you say that?” Jamie gripped her tighter. “I could look at you all day long, every day, and not get tired of you. I have looked at you, listened to you, worked with you all day long and all it’s ever done is leave me hungry for more. Nothing matters to me except being with you.”
“You say that now, but everyone leaves me—my mother, Daniel…”
She tried to pull back but he wrapped his arms around her and bent closer.
“I will never leave you. Everything I’ve done in my life, I’ve done for you. Every damn last thing. Working like a dog, saving my money, buying into the ranch…all of it.”
This time, the sob that welled up in her throat wouldn’t be pushed down. Tears spilled over her cheeks and she couldn’t stop them. She shook her head.
“How can you not know that I love you?” he growled. “All I do is try to show you.”
“I know you love me. Now. But it won’t last, it never does, and I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me,” she said through her tears. “I can’t bear it, Jamie.”
“It won’t happen. I promise.” He held her even tighter.
Her chest hurt so bad she could barely breathe. “You can’t promise that.” She thought of the day her parents died. Ethan’s phone call. The knowledge sinking into her heart that she’d never see them again.
Somehow Jamie knew where her thoughts had gone. “Your mother didn’t want to leave you. Neither did your father,” he said softly.
His quiet words burst the dam that held all the pain she’d been holding back. “I miss her, I miss both of them,” she cried. “Oh, God, Jamie, I didn’t get to say good-bye!”
“I know, honey.” He brushed his lips over the top of her head.
“She thought I hated her. I was so angry…”
“She knew you loved her. She knows it now.”
“Why didn’t she just tell us what had happened? So we knew why she had to leave all the time? Why didn’t she tell us the truth?” Her words came out in broken phrases.
“She was afraid,” Jamie said softly. “Fear makes us do strange things.”
Claire laughed, a painful, torn sound. “It made me keep buying materials for your house until I had four times as much as I could possibly use.”
“It made me jump the gun and propose before we’d ever gone out on a date.”
She took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “It’s kept me from loving you.”
“I know.” He tightened his embrace. “Please stop being afraid. I want to make a life with you.”
Claire lowered her head onto his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. She could change history right now, she knew. She could stop the cycle of fear and pain if she only had the courage to do it.
“What if I screw this up, too? What if I get scared again and can’t do it?”
“I’ll wait for you,” Jamie said. “You’re worth waiting for, Claire.”
IN THE END they slept out on the open range, making love once more under a crescent moon while the horses stood nearby. This time their lovemaking was slow and sensual, a thorough exploration of each by the other. When Claire fell asleep in his arms, exhausted by the long day and heavy emotions, Jamie watched the moonlight trace shadows over the contours of her face.
This woman he knew so well held enough mysteries to keep his attention riveted for a lifetime, and he had no doubt they would dream up plenty of schemes to
keep themselves busy throughout it, too. It had seemed important to him that Claire give up her interior design work and return to the ranch business when she was his wife, and he saw now that was based on fear, too.
It didn’t matter if they worked together, or if they spent their days apart; he and Claire would last—he would bet on that.
In the morning, when he woke up, she was gazing at him.
“Hey, how’re you feeling?” he asked, coming up on one elbow.
“Good. Peaceful.” She rolled onto her back. The sight of her brought lustful thoughts swirling into his brain, but he kept them in check. He wanted to hear what she had to say.
“The open country helps me sort my thoughts, you know what I mean?”
He nodded. “Yep. Same for me.”
“Mom tried to have it all—she tried to be everything to everyone without admitting she’d made mistakes and she ended up hurting us all. But what she did isn’t who she is. Was.” Jamie braced himself, ready for more tears, but Claire remained dry-eyed. “She loved all of us. Every last one. Me, Ethan, Dad, Morgan. She did her best.”
“She did.”
“I like Morgan.”
Jamie laughed. “As much as you don’t want to?”
She rolled to face him again, nodding ruefully. “I really wanted to hate her, but I can’t. She’s pretty cool.”
“Crazy, too. Going with you after Daniel.”
“You should see her swing a bat.” She sobered. “You said she’s hurt? We should get her to a doctor.”
“It’s just a really big bruise. Really, really big. We’ll get her checked out but she’ll be okay.”
“I should never have gotten her involved.”
“You should have gotten me involved. I’d do anything to help you, you know that, right?”
She was silent a minute. “I guess I do now.”
“Claire,” he sat up and drew her up, too. “Will you marry me?”
“I already said yes.”
“I need to hear you say it again.”