Handle Me (The Heed Me Novellas Book 4)

by Elodie Colt

  “It wasn’t Raphael’s fault.” I keep my gaze on Jesse as I shove the truth down his throat. “You just needed someone to blame because you loved her and couldn’t live with the pain.”

  His face crunches, and to my utter shock, a tear escapes the corner of his eye. I’ve never seen him cry, and the sight tugs at my heart.

  Raphael looks chagrined, torn between watching his brother’s breakdown and comforting him. In the end, he pulls himself together and crushes him in a tight hug. Tears brim my eyes as I watch Jesse clutching Raphael, their brotherly love rekindled yet again.

  I use the moment to sneak off to the bathroom and take a shower, giving them a few minutes to celebrate their reunion. Well, I may not be able to handle my love life, but at least there’s still hope I can become a couples therapist. Baby steps, Ruby. Baby steps.

  When I return, I find them sitting on the couch, laughing over old times and bumping each other’s shoulders as if they’ve never been separated in the first place.

  They grow quiet when I sit down, regarding me with caution. I guess they expect me to say that last night was a mistake, that they should have never let it come this far, but it’s better to keep our dirty adventure in the past.

  Jesse and I are over. Raphael and I are over. It was our way of saying goodbye.

  Picking up my bag, I retrieve their passports and hurl them over the table. Raphael stares at his as if it could bite him.

  “I guess our journey comes to an end.”

  Jesse throws me a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

  “It means that we both love someone else.”

  Frowning, he glances at Raphael who stares at me with unwavering focus, but I can’t meet his gaze. Speaking the truth has never been so hard for me. I wish I could be as straightforward as Leo without shitting my pants, but frankly, I’m not. Because as soon as the next words are out, everything will change, so I deliver my line quickly.

  “You love your ex, and I love your brother.” There, it’s done. “You’re going to be with Lana. And Raphael… well, he’s going on his next adventure, I guess.” Without me.

  There’s a long moment of loaded silence as the truth settles down on us like a cold blanket, my stony face so close to cracking, it hurts to keep my composure.

  To my surprise, Jesse slaps his hands on his knees before he stands up, walking over to me. He offers me his hand, and I take it, letting him pull me up and envelop me in his arms. I try to hold back a sob as he rocks us slowly from side to side. Raphael rises, too, gaze locked on me, and I have to tear my eyes away before my emotions crush me.

  After a moment of mutual solace, Jesse pulls back and places a deep kiss onto my forehead.

  “Raphael is going nowhere,” he declares, and after a long, pointed look at his brother, he picks up his keys and shuffles out, leaving me puzzled.

  Raphael approaches me with tentative steps when the door shuts behind Jesse.

  “What…” I start, trying to understand what their silent exchange was about, and why Raphael would want to stay, but the words die on my tongue when he cups my cheeks.

  “Is it true? You love me?” The desperation is audible in his voice. “After everything I’ve done to you?”

  I huff a shaky laugh. “Yeah, something must be wrong with me. In the end, you showed me nothing but love. It wasn’t your fault I was too blind to see you were not him.”

  “Because I knew how to play the game.” His eyes are piercing as if trying to convey that I fell in love with the wrong guy.

  “A game you lost,” I remind him with a smile. “I was the pawn, and yet, I defeated you.”

  He shakes his head, smirking. “You were always the queen, Ruby. I never stood a chance.” My belly makes funny flips at his confession, but no matter how much we crave each other, I don’t see how the little time we shared could turn into a lifetime.

  Raphael knits his brows when he notices my face fall. “What’s wrong?”

  “How is this supposed to work?” I wiggle a finger between us.

  “What do you mean?”

  “The nerdy, boring girl whose only hobbies are college and books, and the adventurous, spontaneous guy who can’t wait to meet his next challenge?” I give him a pleading look, willing him to understand. “You switch places as often as I switch my text markers. I need solidity. You need the thrill.”

  He vehemently shakes his head, his fingers digging into my chin. “I’m sick of this life. I want to settle down. Build a future. A home. With you by my side.”

  I open my mouth to counter, but he doesn’t let me, stealing a kiss from me that also steals my breath. My head spins with a myriad of questions and doubts, but at that moment, I recall what Leo said that day on the plane.

  ‘When he becomes your other half, a half you can’t live without. You become one entity.’

  And now, it all makes sense.

  I ground him. He frees me. We are two poles of a magnet. Complete opposites but impossible to separate. Maybe this was the reason Mom eloped with her lover. Her marriage worked until she found someone who showed her how much better it could be.

  “What about Jesse?” I prompt when he allows me air to breathe again. “Even if he’s running off to Lana tomorrow, I doubt he’d tolerate for his brother to snag his ex. I won’t stand between you.”

  “We’ve settled our issues,” Raphael retorts. “Jesse gave me his blessing.”

  “His blessing for what?”

  “For taking the gem.”

  So, this was what their weird exchange was about. Jesse gave Raphael the green light.

  I’m running out of arguments, and Raphael knows it if his wicked smile is anything to go by. Grabbing his head, I crush his mouth with mine, breathing him in and bathing in total bliss. There’s still so much we don’t know about each other, and a tiny part in me screams at me not to jump into this blindly, to think this through and make a pro-con list like the old Ruby would have done, but that’s not how love works.

  My hands drop to his belt, and I yank hard, eager to feel his skin, but Raphael stops my attempt to rip his jeans in two. “Not here, but… hold that thought,” he growls.

  “Why?”

  “Jesse could come back any second.”

  I laugh. “He wasn’t an issue yesterday.”

  “He’s an issue now,” Raphael objects, his voice firm. “Nobody will see you naked again other than me. Least of all my brother. Come on, let’s get out of here.” Snatching my hand, he hustles me out the door.

  “Where are we going?”

  Raphael winks at me. “To a place where I can make you mine.”

  I don’t ask if Jesse allowed him to take his car when I see him fishing out the keys and stay silent during the ride, using the moment to get my thoughts in order.

  Things will be weird from now on. It will take some time to remember that I can’t call my boyfriend Jesse anymore. Kendra is going to laugh her ass off when I break the news that I’ve switched brothers overnight. I bet Leo will stick to calling him Jesse just to rag him.

  And what the hell am I going to say to my colleagues? I can do without explaining about the twins, but I can hardly tell them that my boyfriend just happened to get a new name.

  And what is Raphael going to do for a living? Will Jesse move to North Dakota and live with Lana? Will he give Raphael his flat?

  “Don’t overwork that pretty head of yours,” Raphael hums, brushing a knuckle down my jaw when he sees me brooding. “We will figure it out, don’t worry.” I nod, smiling up at him.

  He stops the car somewhere at the end of a steep hill, and it’s only now I notice he’s taken us to the outskirts of the city. I frown when he steps out to open the car door for me.

  “What are we doing here?”

  Ignoring me, Raphael guides me toward an old house, its steep roof crumbling, and the paned windows thick with dust and dirt. Following the rotten picket fence with my eyes, I spot an overgrown backyard with a charming, old willow archin
g over a good portion of the property. The air smells salty, and I can hear the waves crashing on the shore where the backyard drops down into a cliff on the other side.

  I snort when I remember why Raphael brought me here. “You want to have sex in there? That thing is going to collapse.”

  Coming up from behind, he snakes his arms around me and rests his chin on my shoulder. “Let’s just take a tour, then. I was thinking about placing the bedroom here, what do you say?” He points up to the cross gables where most of the siding hangs down in chunks, and I need a moment to catch up.

  “Wait… what?”

  I can hear the smile in his voice when he goes on. “Or this could be your room if you want. We’ll put a big window up there and create a cozy reading corner, huh?”

  Spinning around, I gawk at him. “You… you want to buy that house? And live here? With me?”

  “You said you wanted a cottage-style house at the edge of a cliff, and I found this one,” is his matter-of-fact answer.

  “When?”

  “I did some digging when you were gone.”

  My jaw nearly hits the pavement. “You were looking for a house after I ran off?”

  Raphael shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “It was boring in your garage.”

  “But you didn’t even know if I’d come back. To be with you.”

  “Hope dies last,” he whispers back.

  I spin around again, taking in the scene. “But… but there’s a cliff. You couldn’t possibly want to live here.”

  Raphael exhales. “Remember the times I woke up screaming? I was on the oil rig in Newfoundland when the blowout happened. My best friend died that day.” He lets the sentence hang in the air, and I squeeze his hand in comfort. “There are many nightmares haunting me, Ruby, but none is as torturous as the thought of living without you. I want to start over. Forget the past and live in the present. And you will be my future.”

  I hold a hand over my mouth as a tsunami of emotions hits me square on, pushing its way out of my eyes in the form of fat teardrops. Raphael wipes them away, a warm smile on his face. Taking my hand, we step over the remains of the fence and halt in front of the brittle door.

  “After you,” Raphael says with a little bow, turning the rusty knob, and the door creaks when we sneak in. Debris and sand rains down from above with each step we take, and I laugh when I notice that Raphael’s hair is quickly becoming a nest of dust.

  But I don’t see it. Not really.

  Because the only thing I see is a cozy, pristine-white house with an arched door, lots of little windows, and a bunch of kids running amok and making the panes rattle just like they do the second Raphael smashes me against the wall to devour me, heart and soul.

  ~~~The End~~~

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  Acknowledgments

  This book cost me many sleepless nights. When I started writing The Heed Me Novellas, I had no concept. Thought I could just sit down and start typing. I can, but I had no idea how hard it would be to write about a twin brother that Ruby won’t recognize as someone else. I was FREAKED when I came up with the idea, but it was tough shit to get this story on paper :D Thank God it all went well. When I look at the story now, I think it’s not that bad… right? :)

  Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to write this book without the AMAZING support of my beta readers who made sure there were no stupid mistakes and inconsistencies. Thank you a million times!

  Also huge thanks to my kick-ass Street Team. You guys are incredible!

  As usual, thank you, Nicole Locker, for dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s. No matter how busy you are, you always find the time to help me out. I love you so much!

  Another big shout goes to Yvonne, my cover designer who’s with me for a long time now and created the covers of The Heed Me Novellas. I love seeing them on my shelf :)

  My love also goes out to my editors at Swish Design & Editing. Thanks for your feedback, your attention to details, and your constant help to improve my writing. You’re gorgeous!

  Last, but not least, thanks to everyone who bought my book.

  Love, Elodie

  About the Author

  First things first—I'm not an English native speaker. I live in a boring little town on the outskirts of Vienna, Austria, so probably very far away from you! I'm an avid reader and have been reading English books my entire life. When I write, I can't think in my mother tongue anymore. For a long time, this was the reason I refused to take that leap of faith into publishing, because I feared I could never compete with the others. A year later, I decided it was worth the risk, and now here I am... Crazy!

  I’m a hybrid steamy/erotic romance author. Doesn’t matter if contemporary, paranormal, dystopian, or urban fantasy—I write & read them all!

  Relationship status—living happily with my boyfriend, not married and no kids, yet. I have a fulltime job in marketing and wish to make a living as an author. Let's see how this will turn out in the future...

  I'm too organized. Everything has its place, everything is planned. Also, I’m always busy and looking for work, which is pretty exhausting sometimes.

  I'm a music hoarder. My playlist spreads over every genre and is organized very neatly. I play piano and guitar pretty well, but I’m just playing at home for fun. I love to sing in my car. Dancing is my secret hobby. If I could turn back time, I'd build a street dance crew, but this ship has sailed, lol.

  I have an uncanny talent for remembering faces and names, but I’m shitty when it comes to directions. I'm not kidding you, I can get lost everywhere, especially on ski slopes!

  I don't function without my morning cup of coffee—Café Latte to be precise. I love movies, my Kindle Reader, snowboarding, wakeboarding and sunbathing. I hate The Simpsons (I know, I’m probably the only person in the world, but I just can’t warm up to them), zombie movies, and fish (as in the food—got sick once and can't touch that stuff ever since).

  My biggest idol is Stephanie Hudson, author of the Afterlife Saga. I've never read such mind-blowing books in my entire life. I dream of visiting her someday and just talk with her about how she invented such an epic story. So, Stephanie, if you read this, please let me know, and I'm on the next flight to the UK!

  That's pretty much the short version of it. If you want to know more or have the feeling you need to stalk me, find me on the usual platforms.

  Other Books & Upcoming Releases

  Standalone, In Blood We Trust

  The HEED ME Novellas - Contemporary Steamy Romance

  Book 1, Hire Me

  Book 2, Hit Me

  Book 3, Hunt Me

  Book 4, Handle Me

  Book 5, Heal Me, coming soon

  The JAYLIOR Series - Paranormal Romance / Urban Fantasy

  Book 1, A Flare of Hope

  Book 2, A Flare of Power

  Book 3, A Flare of Sorrow

  Book 4, A Flare of Love

  Books 1-4, The Jaylior Series Box Set