“You need not be scared,” Harrison said in a soft voice.
“You don’t understand. If he thinks I left… Please take me back.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Please.”
Both Mrs. Chapman and the captain stopped. Mrs. Chapman turned them around and headed back to the Connor wagon.
Harrison set her down on the tailgate and Esther was placed in the basket. Eddie glared at him.
Chapter Two
As soon as everyone left, Cora fed Esther and waited in dread for Eddie to come see her. She didn’t dare move from the wagon until he told her what to do. He’d been humiliated and he would not take it quietly.
It seemed like hours before he appeared. She couldn’t help the tears that fell.
“I’m sorry that I was so clumsy. It’s my fault. Then I didn’t know what to do with all those people around. I’m used to it being just you and me and now Esther. I didn’t like the way Mrs. Chapman talked either.”
Some of the fury in his eyes died down. “Everything happened so fast.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t know to use a patch. I deserve your anger.”
“You did the right thing insisting to be brought back here.”
She heard someone clear his voice outside and had the feeling it was Harrison. Eddie didn’t act as though he heard it.
“People will put their noses in our business for the next few days. You’re to stay in the wagon, no excuses. I’m sure one of the women will bring meals over. Then it’ll be back to work.”
“Yes, Eddie.” She kept her gaze down until he left. She couldn’t do this anymore. It was no way to live. She smiled at Esther and sighed. It was the only way for her to have her baby. She’d have to endure it. Men like Harrison thought her to be a weak ninny, but she didn’t have a choice.
She’d had few choices in her life until she was eleven years old. Then she was sold and from then on, they had told her what to do, wear, and think. Her rebellious streak had never died, though. But now she might have to let it die and become the woman Eddie wanted her to be. People from her past might still be looking for her, but hopefully they thought her long gone or dead.
Eddie had seemed like a different man when he’d offered to help her. He’d acted sane, but as soon as he had her hidden at his house he began to tell her what to think, wear, and do. At least she had Esther, though. She’d do what she had to for her daughter.
It had been four days, and Cora hadn’t even poked her head out of the wagon. Her entire body ached from being jostled and bumped while riding in it. If she hadn’t known better, she would have thought Eddie was deliberately hitting each rut on the ground. Her leg still hurt, but the rest of her was fine. She’d be able to do her work.
They stopped for the noon meal, and she called Eddie’s name.
He went right to her. He must think he had cowed her even more than she already had been and was lapping it all up.
“I—as long as you agree that is—I’d like to get back to doing my work. I don’t want you to have to work any harder than you already are.”
He smiled a knowing smile, a triumphant smile, and she wanted to throw up.
“Yes, you may get out of the wagon and work. It has been trying for me.” He walked away.
Trying? Women she didn’t even know brought them meals. He hadn’t lifted a finger. She found that taking deep breaths helped her stay calm. She’d made her choice a year ago, and it was hers to live with.
She was putting her unruly hair up properly when she heard Harrison talking.
“She’s a meek mouse. I’m not sure she has a single thought of her own in her brain. I felt sorry for her at first, but now, I can hardly abide looking at her. She needs no one to help her. She has her husband.”
Cora stilled, and her stomach churned.
She’d thought highly of Harrison but not anymore. It was his right to think what he liked, but to talk about her? She listened for a response but they must have moved away from the side of the wagon.
Why his words could hurt her so, she did not understand. But they cut deeper than they should have. She made sure Esther was fine in her basket before she climbed out of the wagon.
Usually for the nooning most ate what they’d had for breakfast. There wasn’t time to build fires and make a meal. She saw they had biscuits and bacon and felt relieved.
“I’d like hot coffee. You must find some wood.”
She nodded to Eddie and began to walk.
“Don’t forget Esther.”
Her face heated. “Thank you for reminding me.” She climbed back in and found the sling. Gently she put Essie into it. She was a beautiful child. She looked a lot like her father. She got them out of the wagon and walked toward the woods. Eddie always assumed she didn’t know who the father was just as he assumed she was a whore. Granted she’d lived in a whore house—she had since she was eleven, but she was never paid to… she was never paid. They thought her to be ten and too young.
There had been a boy, Rudy, who came by every day to use the piano. It took a year for him to talk to her and another four before he proposed. No one had taught her about what proper women did. No one told her she had to wait until she was married. He had told her being engaged was enough.
It had only been once, and she loved him with all her heart, and she knew he loved her back. It wasn’t until she was sick in the mornings that Madam Grealy took her aside and asked her about it.
How could she have lived in a whore house and be so naïve? Madam Grealy was furious and told the bartender, Bosley to get rid of Rudy and the baby. Someone stabbed Rudy that same day, and the next day Bosley had told Cora they had to go somewhere. The other girls had already told her how her life would be after that.
One girl, Macey, helped her to escape by asking Eddie to get Cora out of town. She’d been with him ever since.
Glancing around, all she saw were trees. She wasn’t supposed to go into the woods. She quickly grabbed some fallen branches as she panicked. As she scurried to the edge of the woods, she ran into Harrison.
“Your husband is looking for you.”
The blood drained from her face, leaving her somewhat lightheaded, and she ran back to the wagon. Her heart pounded. Somehow she knew this would send Eddie over the edge.
Eddie took the wood from her and threw it on the ground. “Get in that wagon. Now!”
She hurried and got into the wagon as fast as she could. He followed her.
“I’d love to take a belt to you, but I don’t want to leave scars. I thought about taking Esther from you, but the others on the train wouldn’t like it. I’ve decided that you are to only get two spoonfuls of corn mush a day. An empty stomach should teach you to obey me.”
“I’m sorry, Eddie. I will do as you say.”
“You’ll walk for the rest of the day and do all your chores tonight, but no dinner.”
“Yes, Eddie.”
“Looks as though we are moving out. Don’t fall behind.”
“What do I do when Esther is hungry?”
“Feed her while you walk. Let everyone see how shameful you really are.”
She swallowed hard and nodded. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Harrison pass her. He was probably laughing at her for being a mouse without a brain.
Cora should have brought her shawl and put on woolen stockings but she didn’t have that chance. The cold wind blew, and she was cold to her bones. The other women didn’t walk with her. And when she fed Esther, it made her all the colder. Eddie was right; it felt shameful to have men watch. Other women always had a way to cover themselves. She covered herself the first feeding with the sling but Eddie told her she wasn’t to do it that way. Too bad she wasn’t a meek mouse; she’d just lie down and die.
The temperature continued to drop. Her feet turned numb, but her main concern was to keep Esther as warm as possible. Eddie used to care what happened to Esther.
Wagon after wagon passed her by as she tried to keep from stumbling. One wa
gon pulled out of line and halted. It was Harrison’s, but she couldn’t stop, didn’t dare even acknowledge him.
“Cora, you must be frozen. Think about the baby.”
“Eddie said it must be this way. I went into the woods, and I’ve caused him a lot of trouble lately. I have to go.”
“Take a blanket! It’s getting colder by the minute.”
She looked longingly at the warm blanket but shook her head. “I’m not allowed.” As she kept walking, she heard him curse.
She stepped as fast as she dared, trying to keep warm. The ruts were deep and slippery, and she fell to her knees too many times to count, but she got back up and kept going. Her leg hadn’t completely healed, but she tried to put the pain out of her mind.
Esther woke and needed to be nursed. Cora wrapped her in the sling and then openly nursed her. It didn’t much matter as long as Esther was fed. She was almost done when she saw that Harrison’s wagon had stopped again.
“Cora, let me at least take the baby. She’ll die out here.”
Snow had begun to fall, and Cora nodded. She held Esther up to Harrison.
“She’s like ice!”
“I know.” Her tears wouldn’t stop falling as she walked away without looking back at her child.
Chapter Three
The sun was setting, and they kept going. It was torture. As far as she could tell, she was the only walker. Snow was coming down heavily now. Her fingers were turning purple, and she hadn’t felt her feet in hours. They’d be stopping soon. What would she make for Eddie to eat? She was glad she had put the wood he’d thrown on the ground in the back of the wagon.
She had salt pork, and she could make corncakes. He’d have many meals out of the one. She needed to walk faster. If they stopped and she took too long to catch up… The pain in her leg disappeared. In fact, she didn’t feel her legs at all. It made for difficult walking, but she continued.
They were circling the wagons when Captain London rode her way. “Come on, Give me your hand.”
“I’m supposed to walk.”
“I’m in charge here. Give me your hand.”
She held out her hand to the big, older man and felt herself lifted onto the horse to sit in front of the captain.
“You’re colder than ice. Where’s you warmer clothes? Where’s the baby?”
“Harrison has Esther. She was getting too cold and he offered.”
“He didn’t offer you a ride too?”
“Eddie said I had to walk. I went into the woods during the nooning, and I wasn’t supposed to.”
“That’s no excuse. He should have pulled off and taken you into the wagon. All you have on is a dress. Another mile and you’d be dead. He knew the baby was out here?” His voice sounded deadly.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He opened his coat and drew her against him. “Hold the ends closed if you can.” He slowed down. “Hold still. Your hands won’t work, will they?” He shifted her closer and buttoned his coat around both of them.
Captain London spurred his palomino on. They were the last to reach the camp. The captain rode right past Eddie and stopped at Harrison’s wagon. He already had a fire blazing warming a blanket and a couple warming irons.
Once the captain unbuttoned his coat, Harrison took her from the horse and set her on a crate near the fire. He put the blanket on her and turned to his wagon, returning a few moments later with wool socks.
Captain London was already kneeling next to her taking her shoes off. “Quick, heat some water so we can soak her feet!”
“No! That makes it worse,” Mrs. Chapman said as she ran toward them. “Apply cold water, then cool water, then warm water. We’ll need cloths. Where is Esther?”
“She’s sleeping in my wagon,” Harrison told her. “She’s all warmed up and asleep.”
“Where is Mr. Connor? Has he no care for his wife and child?”
“He sought to punish her by making her walk all day,” Harrison explained.
“He ought to be horsewhipped,” Captain London said.
What had started as the pricks of hundreds of needles in her feet was quickly turning to searing agony. “It hurts,” Coral cried.
The next thing she knew everyone was surrounding her with homemade cures. Mrs. Chapman had someone make willow bark tea and she took a bottle of brandy another traveler handed her.
The pain was worse than anything she’d felt before. She wanted to lie down in the wagon.
Eddie appeared with a trunk and set it down with a hard thunk next to Cora. “Here are all her things. Someone else can take responsibility for her now. I’m done.”
Cora closed her eyes. She couldn’t take much more.
“You can’t kick your family out!” Captain London yelled.
“We’re not married and that is not my kid. I rescued her from a whore house. I was doing her a favor, and this is what I get? I want nothing to do with her. Harrison if you’re so worried about her, you can keep her.” Eddie stomped off.
Cora opened her eyes. It was suddenly so quiet she could hear the snowflakes hitting the packed snow on the ground. They had all condemned her.
“I’m sorry.”
* * *
Harrison picked her up. “I’ll need warm blankets. If you’re not here to help go back to your wagons and do your gossiping,” he announced. He handed her to the captain and climbed in his wagon. He put one warm blanket down on his mattress tick and then he took her from the captain. As gently as he could, he placed her on it and covered her with another blanket.
Someone handed him the wrapped warming irons, and he placed them between the blankets. He could see the pain on her face as she tried to bite her lip probably to keep from crying out. Perhaps she wasn’t a mouse maybe she was actually brave.
He and Mrs. Chapman spent most of the night tending to Cora. In between he’d leave the wagon so Cora could feed Esther with Mrs. Chapman’s help.
He sat on a crate and stared at the fire. What was he supposed to do with Cora and the baby? Not married? She’d been a whore with child when Eddie helped her? He knew what everyone else thought. He’d heard it all night, but he wasn’t sure what he thought.
Right now, he had but one concern. Which family would take her in?
He hated hearing her cries of pain but laudanum and morphine were bad for a nursing baby. Most people left and went to their own wagons. What if no one offered to take her? Minister Paul and his wife Della promised to bring them all supper. Harrison felt as though he couldn’t breathe and the world was closing in on him. He didn’t mind helping Cora get better, but he couldn’t take her in his wagon. How would it look?
He sighed, for her reputation was beyond that now, but he didn’t want his name besmirched. The minister and his wife would be obligated wouldn’t they? There had to be someone. They wouldn’t leave her behind.
He carried the reheated warming irons and gave them to Mrs. Chapman. “How is she?”
“She’s lucky. There isn’t any permanent damage, but her fingers and toes pain her something awful. I can’t believe what Mr. Connor said about her. She has conducted herself with the greatest of virtue. I’ll wait to hear what she has to say before I decide. She’d had to have been the loneliest person traveling. Not one woman walked with her and her husband — er, I mean Mr. Connor made it impossible to visit their fire. It must be hard with a small baby. It’s a time you want women to give you advice and reassure you you’re doing everything right. But If Mr. Connor hadn’t rescued her; I don’t think Esther would have been born. You don’t hear too many stories about soiled doves with children.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I suppose you’re right. I’m hoping the minister and his wife will take her.”
Mrs. Chapman smiled and took the heating irons to place under the blankets.
A cloud passed over the full moon, and for a moment all was dark. He’d bet Cora’s life had a lot of darkness in it.
“Here, I have bread and salt pork with bea
ns. I’m glad I put extra beans to soak last night. There is plenty so eat up. I’ll make a plate for Mrs. Chapman,” Della said. She put the heavy pot and a loaf of bread on a barrel outside the wagon.
“I appreciate it. Thank you.”
Minister Paul sat down next to Harrison. “You’re not married, are you?”
“No.”
“Promised to anyone?”
Harrison narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“I asked around and no one will take them in. Our wagon is full of Bibles, and there isn’t room. Captain London has it in his head you can marry Cora.” The minister stared at him as though trying to gauge his reaction.
Harrison’s first instinct was to run. He would not be hog-tied to Cora. Now that he knew what she was, he didn’t want to look at her. It might not be her fault but he couldn’t help the way he felt.
“That won’t work for me. The captain can find another fool to marry that… that… Cora.” His face heated. He’d almost called her a whore.
The minister nodded. “You might as well eat.”
* * *
Cora stiffened at Harrison’s words. It hurt, but he was just speaking the truth as he saw it. What would happen to her and Essie? Not one person wanted her. No one offered to take her and Essie in. It wouldn’t matter so much but what about Essie? Maybe she could find someone to take her to raise as their own. If they left just her behind, her mind would be at ease, knowing her daughter was safe.
“Mrs. Chapman. I need to speak with Harrison please.”
Mrs. Chapman stared at her for a moment and then nodded. Mrs. Chapman climbed out of the wagon and Harrison climbed in. The look on his face said it all. He didn’t want to talk to her.
She shifted. Spikes of sheer torture shot up her legs, and she ended up crying out. She waited until it passed before she gazed at Harrison. “I need you to find a family for Essie. A forever family. Good people.”
Cora’s Courage: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book One Page 2
