Karma

by RJ Blain

  “You’re going to bite the shit out of me if I loosen my hold, aren’t you? Pauline? Our son picked a crazy one. I’m pretty sure this is your fault.”

  I recognized the brindled white and gold wolf from my dream, and I tensed at her approach. When I had been a fox, protected by my thick winter coat, her size had frightened me. Trapped and unable to escape, cold terror swept through me and left me shaking.

  Unable to run, my only option was to stay perfectly still, afraid to even breathe.

  “Easy. She’s not going to hurt you. Remember the whole ‘too good of an FBI agent to lose’ discussion we had? It goes against my interests to feed you to my wife—yes, my wife, who happens to be my mate, who also happens to be a beautiful wolf—this specific wolf, if you weren’t certain.”

  I wasn’t at all comforted by the man’s words, not with a huge wolf breathing in my face, her sharp, massive teeth within snapping range. The brindled white and gold female had the foulest breath I’d ever encountered in any species, predator or prey.

  Whimpering, I turned my head to avoid the smell.

  That was when she struck. Pinpricks of teeth digging into my throat froze me in place, and I choked back a cry. With a single bite, the wolf—Jake’s mother—would finish tearing a hole in my neck. I closed my eyes, shuddering at the relentless pressure of fangs pressing into my skin.

  “Or we can skip straight to emotionally scarring our puppy’s mate for life.” Jake’s father sighed. “May as well get it over with, I guess.”

  Rolling off me, Jake’s father made room for the wolf, who pinned me down by flopping across my chest, all without releasing my throat. Jake’s father kept my hands trapped in his.

  Once she was satisfied I couldn’t escape, the wolf tortured me with long, wet strokes of her tongue while Jake’s father watched and laughed.

  Sometime after I was soaked to the skin in wolf slobber, I gave up hope of escaping.

  That was when Jake’s father released my hands. He turned his attention to my shoulders, which had stiffened from my hands being pinned over my head for so long. I whimpered as he dug his fingers into the stiff muscles so I could move my arms without screaming.

  Jake’s mother remained sprawled over me, her cold, wet nose pressed to my throat. The urge to run and scream fluttered through me, but I swallowed it back.

  Laughing, Jake’s father flicked a finger against the side of my neck. While he didn’t hit me hard, a zap of electricity arced down my spine and curled my toes in my shoes. “If you run screaming from Jake when he comes calling as a wolf, you’ll damage his fragile pride and ego.”

  I stared up at my partner’s father in disbelief. “Are we talking the same Jake? Over six foot tall, all nice lean muscle? Does he have a fragile anything?”

  I should have been more alarmed by the man’s claim my partner was coming as a wolf. The pain in my shoulder was enough to convince me I was trapped in a horrible reality filled with people who became wolves. I should have been more skeptical. I should have questioned.

  It was hard to question when I remembered why my ma had beaten the sin out of me. When I had been a child, I had run with foxes, I had dreamed of them, and I had dreamed of being one of them.

  “I’m not sure I want to continue discussing my son’s assets.”

  “Then don’t you insult his ego and pride.”

  “I’m merely providing sufficient warning so you don’t panic when you have to deal with two wolves instead of one.”

  I swallowed. “I won’t scream.”

  “No, you’ll just whimper, shake, and cringe, which is even worse than screaming.”

  I hiccuped. “I’m not a coward.”

  “No, you just recognize a bigger predator. Perfectly reasonable. Have you figured out we’re not going to eat you, yet? If you promise you won’t run, Pauline’ll let you up and you can approach Jake on your own terms. No whimpering, no screaming, and please, no running. It’s tiring chasing you down. You’re quick.”

  Only an idiot agreed to sticking around to give more predators a chance to get closer. “Just make her stop licking me. I’ll do anything. Just make the licking stop.” My voice trembled, and another hiccup slipped out of me.

  “All right. Let the poor girl up, Pauline. I think you’ve licked her into submission.”

  With a heavy sigh, the wolf got off me. I rolled and scrambled for safety, putting Jake’s father between me and the oversized predator. “She was taste testing me for a future meal, wasn’t she? Memorizing my taste to figure out how to best eat me.”

  “You realize I can become a wolf, too, right?”

  “This is a nightmare. I’m really in a coma, aren’t I? No, wait. I died, and this is my hell. My hell is marrying into a family of wolves. Wolves who like licking me.” I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “I knew it. Where did I go wrong in my life to deserve this?”

  “This explains so much. Jake told me we should ease you into this. He said you wouldn’t take it well. I had no idea, however, you would come up with such interesting ways to deny reality.”

  “Reality doesn’t have people who can become wolves, Mr. Thomas.” I pointed at my shoulder. “It is far more feasible for me to be a ghost in denial than it is for my partner’s mother and father to become wolves.”

  “Your partner does, too.” Jake’s father pointed at nearby shadows. “Look at those sad eyes, Karma. How could you think those sad eyes belong in a nightmare? You’re going to break my poor puppy’s fragile heart.”

  The chocolate-colored wolf with gold chest and underbelly sat primly beside a tree, his gold-tipped tail thumping against the ground. Both of his gold-tipped ears were perked forward, and he watched me with big, brown eyes.

  I was so, so weak against those eyes.

  “That’s cheating,” I whispered.

  “I am a wolf, Karma. I’ll do anything to secure my victory.”

  What had I done to deserve my partner being able to transform into a wolf? Why couldn’t I have dreamed of wolves instead of foxes?

  Why did I want to be a wolf instead of a fox? Why couldn’t I just be a fox?

  If I were a real fox, I’d have already been eaten by the wolves. Instead, they were having fun torturing me. I sighed my surrender. “Well, if I’m going to get eaten by a wolf, at least Jake’s pretty. That’s something, right? If I’m going to get eaten by a wolf, at least he’s a pretty one.”

  “I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to be offended or not.”

  “If I offend you, will you go away and never bother me again?”

  “I’m afraid not. Not only are you wonderfully entertaining, but you’re Mrs. James Thomas. That makes you family. Pack. Let me give you your first lesson about pack life: wolves don’t abandon anyone in their pack, even stray vixens. So, you may as well get used to it. You’re going to have a lot of wolf noses poking around in your business soon enough.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  It took me a long time to work up the courage to approach Jake, who remained seated with his ears pricked forward, his rich brown eyes watching my every move. Crawling at a snail’s pace of an inch at a time, I kept one eye on him and the other on his mother, who watched me with the same interest.

  I would never admit it aloud, but I was grateful Jake’s father had decided to shut his mouth and keep it shut. What sort of idiot approached a wolf capable of eating them in a couple of bites?

  When I got within arm’s reach of Jake, I drew a deep breath, held it, and stretched my arm so I could press my finger to his nose. His eyes crossed as he tried to look at my finger.

  I didn’t lose my hand to his teeth. I froze, wondering what to do next. Would he bite me if I touched his ears? Did wolves even like being touched?

  Jake shoved his head against my hand, leaning forward until his breath warmed my throat. Losing my balance, I sat back hard, sucking in a breath. A moment later, he rubbed his entire head against my chest, shoulders, and neck, his long fur tickling my nose unti
l I sneezed. I ended up with a mouthful of coarse fur.

  He shoved me down with a paw and pinned me. For a long moment, he stared at me with his beautiful eyes, his ears pricked forward while he snuffled, a sound I recognized as him breathing in my scent.

  At least he didn’t lick me. I didn’t have a chance to wiggle out from beneath him before he flopped over my chest, rested his muzzle against my shoulder, and sighed as though using me as a bed made him the happiest of wolves.

  Damned wolves. Damned Jake. Damned Jake for being a wolf. How was it even possible? Men couldn’t become wolves.

  I really wanted to believe everything was a really bad dream, one filled with fox-eating wolves. In my psychosis, I had married one on a whim and liked him too much to kill. Then again, when I had married him, I hadn’t known he was a wolf, one who was masquerading as a human.

  Wait, was he a wolf pretending to be a human or a human pretending to be a wolf?

  I should have tried to run away. Instead, I struggled to make sense of the wolf using me as a pillow while nuzzling my neck like an oversized dog who hadn’t yet learned the concept of personal space.

  If I thought of Jake as a very, very large and friendly dog, I could handle his sharp teeth being so close to my throat. It helped he seemed more interested in rubbing his muzzle against me.

  While his fur wasn’t soft, there was something pleasant about its coarse texture, and I liked the cinnamon of his scent. As long as he didn’t bite me, I didn’t mind him keeping me warm, and I could live with his weight pinning me to the ground.

  “You all right, Karma?” Jake’s father crouched just beyond arm’s reach. “Lesson two about us: never come between a mated pair. Lesson three: never threaten a mated pair’s puppy.”

  “You’re starting to freak me out, Mr. Thomas.”

  “I’m just starting?” The man’s eyebrows rose towards his hairline. “And don’t think about calling us werewolves. We’re Fenerec.”

  “Fenerec,” I echoed.

  “Honestly, I have no idea what you are. I’ve never met a woman who could become a fox before.”

  I shook my head, cracked my jaw against Jake’s, and yelped. “No. No, no, no.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “No what?”

  “No, don’t involve me with your craziness. I just dream about foxes sometimes. It doesn’t mean anything.” A shiver ran through me. The dreams weren’t real. They couldn’t be real. “I’m—”

  “Karma.”

  I shut my mouth with a clack of my teeth. I recognized the no-nonsense tone of voice warning me against arguing without listening first.

  “Maybe Dr. Sampson thinks it’s wisest to let sleeping beasts lie, but I know better. We’re cut from the same cloth. I’m a predator. Pauline’s a predator. Jake’s a predator. You’re a predator, too. Unlike us, you’re a predator who has no idea what you are, and your instincts are running wild. You don’t growl like a wolf when you’re posturing or warning someone you’re willing to fight. Your aggression warning is more of a chitter. Like us, you bark when you’re warning others of danger, but unlike us, you scream when you’re calling for your mate or skulk, the fox version of a pack. When you sense another predator, you head straight up a tree.”

  Jake huffed before nuzzling my neck. He shifted his weight on me and rested his paws on my shoulders. I shouldn’t have found his presence or the feeling of being trapped beneath his warm body comforting, but I did.

  With Jake sprawled on top of me, there wasn’t any room for other wolves.

  Maybe no one would get close to me. The thought appealed. If no one came near me, they couldn’t hurt me, and I was tired of hurting.

  I was just tired.

  “Maybe we’re wolves while you’re a fox, but my puppy chose you, and that makes you one of us. You’ll have to get used to it. We’ll be sticking our noses in your business for a long time. Jake hates it, and I’m sure you will, too. Now, little vixen, I’m really hungry. I want to hunt. Jake could use a hunt, too. Why don’t you show us that pretty fur coat of yours? Bring out that black and white fox writhing under your skin. Learn to hunt like a wolf.”

  I sucked in a breath, my eyes widening. The dreams weren’t supposed to be real.

  Ma had beaten them out of me.

  Why would anyone want them to be a reality? Why would anyone want someone who once forgot what it meant to be human, living as a fox while trapped in a fragile, human body?

  The years had dimmed most of the memories, and my fear had suppressed the rest, but I remembered enough. Ma and Pops had feared me, then, and had hated the demon they had brought into their lives. It had been Ma who had made me forget, and Pops who had found an outlet for the wildness in sports and fighting.

  I wanted it, but I remembered, and because I did, I was afraid. Hiding my face in the thick fur of Jake’s neck, I grabbed hold of him and refused to let go.

  Jake’s father sighed. “You can’t hide forever, Karma.”

  When I didn’t move, breathing in Jake’s scent while his fur tickled my nose, Jake’s father sighed again. “It’s a start, I suppose. Guard your mate while we hunt, pup.”

  I didn’t need to see my partner to know he rebuked his father with his glare. Instead of the anger I expected, Jake’s father laughed. Then, in utter silence, he left us alone in the darkening woods.

  There were two other wolves in the woods, but whenever I caught a glimpse of them moving through the trees or smelled them drawing close, I worried. Jake drove them away with warning growls and barks. His snarls and the snaps of his teeth should have worried me far more than they did.

  Maybe wolves ate foxes, but I didn’t feel threatened by Jake despite his unnatural size. His mother and father were far larger wolves, but Jake easily outweighed any natural dog I had ever seen.

  Without so many predators breathing down my neck, I relaxed enough I could think. While I still didn’t understand how it was possible, pieces of the puzzle fell together. In Colorado, the search and rescue dog hadn’t been a dog at all.

  He had been a man who could become a wolf, and he had followed me when I had fled with Annabelle. He had, except for his size, looked like a wolf. Jake’s coloration was nothing like a natural wolf’s.

  What I didn’t understand was how—or why—a Fenerec had been hunting me on the mountain in Colorado. Worry shivered through me.

  If there had been Fenerec in Colorado, had they been in Pennsylvania, too? I didn’t want to think of the bodies I had found, but the one had been torn to pieces, and I couldn’t help but think something other than the fall into the gorge had killed him.

  A wolf Jake’s size could easily tear someone to pieces. I had dreamed of being a fox often enough to understand the relationship of predator, prey, and predator who was also prey. People didn’t handle being a prey species well. Some became predators of their own kind, requiring organizations like the police force and FBI to restore order and protect others.

  Some ran away.

  I was a mix of both, hunting predators while running away from the predators too big for me to chew on alone. Hunting predators on my own had caused me problems enough in the FBI, problems resulting in me becoming prey. I would always carry the scars, even the invisible ones.

  I wasn’t quite sure how I had ended up with Jake curled around me, but he sighed and rested his muzzle on my side, staring up at me. As a wolf, the brown of his eyes was flecked with gold, and the bright bursts of color only made him prettier.

  He made a warm and comfortable pillow. The tension I hadn’t known was plaguing me eased out of my muscles. I wasn’t supposed to feel safe near a wolf.

  What other secrets was Jake hiding? I wasn’t sure what to make of anything, of him, and of his father’s belief I could, by my own choice, decide to become a fox like they became wolves. My dreams of living as a fox were supposed to be dreams, not reality.

  If I accepted my dreams as the truth, I would have to accept everything that had happe
ned after being shot in London. In my search for vengeance, I had hunted the humans who had hunted me, and I had tasted their blood, torn them apart, and left their bodies to rot.

  If my dreams were truth, I had killed. I hadn’t just killed, I had deliberately hunted those who had tried to take Jake away from me.

  In that, at least, I wasn’t any different from a wolf.

  I fell asleep in the forest to wake up in bed with Jake, who was stretched out beside me, his arm draped across my stomach while his breath tickled my ear. I grumbled a complaint at the sun in my eyes, rolled over, and came nose to nose with Jake’s father.

  I smacked the smirk off the man’s face before realizing I had moved, baring my teeth.

  Spluttering something incoherent, Jake tugged me closer to him. I didn’t resist him, although the urge to bite had me clacking my teeth together.

  “You deserved that,” Jake’s mother announced from the end of the bed. “Maybe if you slap him harder, Karma, he’ll learn.”

  Some invitations I simply couldn’t refuse, and it took three more swats before Jake’s father retreated out of reach.

  “What are you doing?” Jake grumbled, shifted beside me, and tightened his hold on me. “Go away.”

  Pauline sat on the edge of the bed, and I contemplated kicking to drive her away. Unfortunately, even if I stretched, I doubted I’d reach her.

  The woman smiled, reached out, and gave Jake’s leg a slap. “We need to get to the airport. Your father’s been called back to the States, and we’re going with him. It’s time for you to get up and get dressed.”

  “I thought you were his boss,” Jake complained, making no move to get out of bed. If anything, he held me tighter, making it clear he liked me exactly where he had me.

  I didn’t mind. The man radiated warmth, and I snuggled closer, moving enough to grab the blanket and pull it over my head.