The Unforgettable Wolf

by Jane Godman

  “Why are you doing this?” She had to tilt her head to look up at him. At least tilting no longer caused dizziness. “I mean, I really appreciate your help. I just wondered why.”

  He paused, looking down at her with those eyes that had seen too much. “Because you need me.”

  The words caused a fluttering sensation that had nothing to do with her injury. She tried to find a suitable response. The words that came out were totally inadequate. “I have no shoes.”

  “We’ll stop on the way.”

  It was intensely frustrating not to know things. Until Nate took her to a place called a mall, she hadn’t known that it was possible to buy sneakers, jeans and a sweater at midnight. Or that a doctor was available at an accident and emergency department at any time of the day or night. I must have known these things once. One bump on the head and they’ve gone? Just like that?

  “My memory will come back, right?” she asked the doctor at the hospital who examined her.

  “It will, but I can’t offer you any guarantees about when.” The woman doctor stepped back, stripping off her gloves. “It could be hours, days or even weeks. In some rare cases, it can take months for the memory to return fully after this sort of post-traumatic amnesia. Some people find things come back to them slowly. For others, their memory comes back in a sudden rush. All I can advise is that you rest, remember that you’ve suffered a trauma and don’t overdo it.”

  “But there is no serious injury?” Nate asked.

  “There is no external injury,” the doctor said. She extended a hand, helping Violet down from the examining table. “Your skull isn’t damaged. If you get any symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness or blurred vision, then seek medical help immediately. Also, I would advise a CT scan, a detailed image of the brain, just to rule out any underlying injury.”

  “Will she be okay to travel?” Violet looked at Nate in surprise. Where was she traveling to?

  The doctor pursed her lips. “As I said, my advice would be to rest. If traveling is essential, do it in easy stages.”

  Violet thought she saw a flash of humor in Nate’s eyes at that comment, although she didn’t understand its source. Having thanked the doctor, they made their way back to the car. Violet felt exhaustion wash over her as she sank into the passenger seat. She studied Nate’s profile as he drove through the deserted streets of the quiet town. I don’t even know the name of this place. This could be my hometown and I don’t recognize it. The thought caused her a moment of panic. It subsided as a flash of certainty came to her. This is not my home. I don’t belong here.

  That thought prompted a question. “Why would I need to travel?”

  For a moment he didn’t answer. Then he took his eyes off the road briefly so he could glance her way. “Violet, how much do you know about rock music?”

  The question was so unexpected it made her laugh. “If I said nothing, it would be a massive exaggeration. Although I might have been the world expert a few hours ago.”

  They had reached the motel, and Nate stretched his long limbs before sliding out of his seat. Coming around to Violet’s side of the car, he held open the door before helping her out. As they walked into the motel room, she glanced up at his face. He looked tired, but there was a frown between his eyes.

  “Just tell me.” She may not have known him for long, but she knew that frown was there because of her.

  He threw himself down in the chair he had been seated in earlier, scrubbing a hand over his face as though attempting to erase the weariness. Violet sat on the edge of one of the beds. “I have to leave here today and fly to England.”

  “Oh.” She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Its glowing figures showed it was close to three in the morning. “Look, it’s been really kind of you to take care of me. I should probably just go now...”

  “Where will you go?” He sounded unexpectedly harsh.

  “I don’t know.” Her voice refused to rise above a whisper.

  “Exactly.” He rose from his seat, coming to sit next to her. Clasping her hands between both of his, he ducked his head low so that he could look at her face. “I can’t leave you alone here like this, Violet.”

  She was confused by the mixed messages he was giving. “My head hurts.” All she wanted to do was lean against Nate’s broad shoulder and let him take away her cares.

  “I’m not surprised. Tonight has been enough to scramble anyone’s brain, with or without a blow to the head.” She didn’t understand why, but his smile warmed her. “Let me explain. I’m in a rock band. We’re just about to start a world tour, which is the reason why I have to go back to England today. If there was any way I could avoid it, I would cancel and stay here with you.”

  “You’ve done enough. I wouldn’t ask you to change your plans for me.” Violet felt something sharp and bright sting the back of her eyelids at the idea that he would even want to. No one had ever put her first. How do I know that when I don’t know anything else about myself?

  His grip on her hands tightened. “Violet, can you remember any details? Anything about your family, your home? Why you were at that party? That wolf called Roko? Why you were in the woods? Why you were naked? I know the doctor said don’t force it, but is there anything there?”

  She closed her eyes. When she tried to probe her memory, all she could feel was a gray mist of nothingness. And a sense of...not belonging. She tried to grasp it. To give it a name. Otherness. That was as close as she could get. Sighing, she opened her eyes and gazed into the dark, soulful depths of Nate’s. He was all she had. The thought of him leaving terrified her.

  “The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t belong here.”

  “Then that settles it.” He nodded decisively. “You’re coming with me.”

  Chapter 4

  Violet’s memory might have deserted her, but she was fairly sure most people did not travel in their own luxury jet. As they mounted the steps of the sleek airplane, a uniformed man bowed low in greeting. That, too, seemed unlikely to be an everyday occurrence.

  “Welcome aboard, Mr. Zilar. My name is Daniel, and I’m here to take care of your comfort during the flight.”

  “Is there any message for me from Mr. Taverner?” Nate kept his hand in the small of Violet’s back, and she was grateful for that light contact. Everything felt strange and overwhelming, but his touch was comforting. Was there a possibility of it already becoming too comforting, of her starting to depend on him too much? She didn’t have time to explore the thought, but like a new and exotic taste, it lingered.

  “Mr. Taverner told me to tell you everything is taken care of.” Daniel turned to Violet. “Your luggage has already been brought aboard, Miss Wolfe.”

  Miss Wolfe? She turned questioning eyes to Nate, and he grinned. Leaning closer, he pressed his lips up against her ear so he could whisper. “It was the only name I could come up with on the spur of the moment.”

  “My luggage?” she whispered back, as they followed Daniel inside the polished interior of the plane.

  “Ged is very thorough.” He seemed to feel it was an answer. Instead it raised more questions. Who was this mysterious Mr. Taverner who seemed to already have such a strong influence over her life?

  The main cabin was an elegant salon with cream furnishings and walnut trim. Every feature had been designed with comfort in mind, including the finishing touches of fresh fruit, champagne and chocolates. Violet gazed around with wide eyes. Daniel held open a door, through which she could see a huge bed.

  “I took the liberty of placing your suitcases in here.” Daniel indicated a neat arrangement of stacked luggage just inside the bedroom door.

  There were three large suitcases and two smaller ones. Although Violet might not know much about these things, she sensed that they, like her surroundings, were expensive and customized. She tried to catch Nate’s eye and give him a w
e have to talk about this look, but he was turning away from her, addressing his next words to Daniel.

  “There was a problem with Miss Wolfe’s passport. Mr. Taverner was going to sort it out.”

  “It’s all taken care of. The new document was delivered just before you arrived. The immigration official will come aboard before we depart to do the necessary checks.”

  Violet slid her hand into Nate’s. Document? Official? Checks? None of those things sounded like things in which she wanted to participate. That sense of not belonging swept over her again. The fear of being discovered in some wrongdoing was overwhelming. Nate returned the pressure of her fingers reassuringly.

  “In that case, can you leave us alone before we set off?”

  Daniel bowed again and closed the bedroom door behind him as he left. When he had gone, Nate leaned against the door, watching Violet’s face. “You are not okay with this.”

  She released a long exhale. “That’s because I have no idea what this is.” She gestured around the small but luxurious bedroom as she spoke. “Do you always travel this way?”

  He laughed. “This is my manager’s over-the-top way of responding to my plea for help. I told him I wasn’t leaving America without you, but that you had no identification. I don’t know how he has managed to get you a passport in such a short time, and I’m not going to ask. I suspect his methods weren’t legal and probably cost a lot of money. All I know is I sent him your picture and he said he’d do the rest. I guess he decided there would be fewer questions asked if we flew privately.”

  “And the luggage?” Violet pointed to the suitcases.

  “I asked him to get someone to pick you up a few things. He tends to do things on a grand scale.” He smiled reassuringly. “Once we are over the passport hurdle, we can relax. I’m meeting my bandmates in London, so we have the plane to ourselves.”

  Daniel tapped on the door at that moment, his face apologetic. “The immigration official is here. He said it will only take a few minutes if he could just see you both with your passports.”

  Violet edged closer to Nate, and he took her hand again, smiling down at her. “Come on. Once this is done, we can get going.”

  She nodded miserably. She had no idea what her life was usually like, but she didn’t recognize this crawling feeling of fear. She sincerely hoped this constant nervousness was werewolf attack–induced and not a feature of her personality. Or maybe it’s simpler. Maybe I’m just tired. She hadn’t slept, and that big, crisp bed looked very inviting.

  The immigration official was more interested in Beast, Nate’s band, than in Violet. He had their latest album and was annoyed that he hadn’t known he would be meeting Nate that day.

  “I’d have brought it along and asked you to sign the cover.”

  “Write down your contact details.” Nate signaled to Daniel, who produced a piece of paper and a pen. “I’ll get a copy to you that’s been signed by all the band members.”

  For a moment Violet thought the immigration official might be about to hug Nate. She knew it would not be a popular move with the intensely private man she had known for only a few hours. Instead, he recalled his position and opted for gripping Nate’s hand gratefully. Turning to the passports, he checked them quickly.

  “Everything is in order here. You’re cleared to leave.” He handed the documents back to them and left, turning back with a cheery wave when he reached the door.

  “That’s it?” Violet looked down at the little booklet in her hand. It had conferred a status on her she didn’t have before. Wolfe. She wondered what her real passport said. She couldn’t recall ever seeing one of these things until now. Memory was a strange thing. Somewhere, locked away in the recesses of her mind, were the clues to her identity. She just had no idea how to get to them.

  “That’s it,” Nate confirmed. “It’s a long journey. Why don’t you make the most of it by getting some sleep?”

  “Do you always know the right thing to say and do?”

  Her words seemed to shake him, and he gazed down at her for a moment before replying. “Not always.”

  * * *

  Do you always know the right thing to say and do? Violet’s question had played on his mind throughout most of the transatlantic flight. He watched her as she slept. Lying next to her, but not touching her. Because that was what she had asked him to do.

  “Will you stay with me?” She only had to raise those incredible violet-blue eyes shyly to his and he was lost.

  “Anytime you need me.” Would he always do what Violet asked him to? Probably.

  His words, together with his presence, had calmed her nerves, and Violet had fallen asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillows. Not Nate. Despite his weariness, he had remained awake, wondering about that question. Debating his motives. Could bringing her with him be considered “the right thing”?

  As soon as he had taken a look at Violet in that cheap motel room, something inside him had lurched out of place. It hadn’t gone back again. He studied her now. The dark fan of her lashes against her pale cheek. The midnight velvet of her hair curling soft on the pillow. The plump, inviting cushion of her lips. She was cream and rose and ebony. And, when she opened those glorious eyes, she was lavender and lilac. A fairy-tale princess. Every man’s fantasy. But Nate wasn’t every man. Six years ago, a werewolf had stripped away his humanity. Yes, his friends had patched him up, but they hadn’t made him whole again. The part that made him human was gone forever. He didn’t know what he was. A man-shaped monster. That about summed up Nate Zilar.

  He had spent too much time between then and now wallowing in self-pity, and he shrugged it off, returning to the mystery of Violet. If she was a werewolf—and he felt strongly that she was—why wasn’t he repulsed by that? He hated werewolves. But that didn’t come close to describing the red-hot bitterness he felt toward them. When Nate had been at his most vulnerable, a werewolf had tried to use him as a murder weapon. That werewolf was now the Wolf Leader. The only thing that had kept Nate alive throughout the last six years was the knowledge that one day he would pay Nevan back for what he had tried to do. No matter what Cal might say, one day Nate would look that bastard in the eye before he took his revenge.

  But the thought that Violet might be a werewolf didn’t repulse him. On the contrary. It excited him. Aroused him. It called to something dark and primeval inside him. Something he thought had gone forever when Cal drove that knife into his heart. Something he didn’t want to explore. Because, if he explored it, he would have to name it.

  Violet had triggered not only his protective instincts, but so much more. A memory, a longing, stirred deep within him. A younger man’s sweet dreams of romantic love coupled with a healthy dose of good old-fashioned lust. Both were things he had never thought to feel again. Yet here he was lying beside Violet with an erection so rock solid his zipper was in danger of leaving a permanent imprint on his penis as a reminder. And for a werewolf? He shook his head. If only he’d known. All these years and all it had needed to restore his manhood was a little wolf porn.

  At that inopportune moment, Violet stirred. A soft sigh murmured against Nate’s cheek, jacking his already iron-hard cock to even more uncomfortable proportions. Her eyes opened slowly. Confusion blurred their depths for a few seconds, then she smiled and Nate’s heart faltered. This is what it would feel like to wake up next to Violet every day. To see her head on the pillow next to his, that smile in her eyes, to be able to kiss those sweet lips, draw her close, relieve the aching demon between his thighs...

  “I’m hungry.”

  She means for food, he told himself sternly, forcing his mind away from his raging erection. “I’ll have Daniel organize breakfast.”

  Daniel must have been anticipating their needs, and before long, they were seated at the table in the salon with a choice of hot and cold dishes spread before them. Nate was conscious
of Violet studying his face as they ate.

  “What’s our story to be?” she asked eventually. “Are we pretending I’m your girlfriend?”

  “I hadn’t thought about it. Does it matter?”

  “Surely your friends and family will wonder what’s going on if you turn up with me at your side and no explanation.”

  Friends and family? He didn’t have any. The other members of the band were about as close as he came to either, and they wouldn’t interrogate him. They had never questioned each other. “Pretend girlfriend. Close friend. Whichever you choose.”

  A slight frown furrowed her smooth brow. “All this—” she waved a hand to indicate the plane “—I can’t just accept your generosity indefinitely, Nate. You have to let me do something in return.”

  He quirked a brow at her. “What did you have in mind?”

  A soft pink blush stained her cheeks as his meaning hit her, and she gave a little gasp before plowing on. “I don’t know because I don’t know what I can do.” Her brow wrinkled. “It’s hard to explain. I don’t know what my qualifications are. I could be an artist or an attorney. Maybe I could clean your apartment or cook for you?” Her eyes clouded. “If I know how to cook.”

  Nate caught hold of her hand. “Violet—” he waved his other hand, just as she had done “—all this means nothing. I have enough money to care for you until your memory comes back or we find your family. In the meantime, relax and enjoy it. I’m going to. Being on the road is lonely and boring as hell.” An image of his bandmates came into his mind. Boring as hell? Maybe not the first words that sprang to mind when describing the phenomenon that was Beast. “I’m glad to have your company.”

  Violet’s expression remained doubtful, but she ate the rest of her meal in silence. It was a huge meal, Nate observed, consisting mostly of meat, eggs and berries. She shuddered at his offer of coffee, drinking water instead. Her choice of food and the quantity she ate seemed to support Nate’s suspicion that she could be a werewolf. Or maybe she adhered to some diet he was unaware of. Or she had allergies. Perhaps he should stop second-guessing and do what he had said...just enjoy her company.