The Unforgettable Wolf

by Jane Godman

  The palace was in an idyllic setting. Having waved a farewell to the others, they set off across the lawn toward the lush formal gardens, where the scent of lemon and orange trees vied with the sharp tang of pine forests that covered the steeply sloping hillsides. In the distance was a vast shimmering lake and soaring cliffs that resembled the jagged teeth of an ancient slumbering dragon.

  “I take it you want to head for the forest rather than the lake?” Nate quirked a brow at her, and Violet was jolted all over again by his good looks. How did he manage to make her heart somersault that way with just a smile? If only they had the luxury of growing old together, so she could find out if he could do that when he was gray-haired and that handsome face was lined.

  “How did you know?”

  “Lucky guess.”

  She laughed, catching hold of his hand and twining her fingers with his. Don’t take this from me.

  The forest was a cool, woody paradise, and Violet’s first instinct was to slip off her lightweight sandals so she could feel the leafy carpet beneath her feet. Without knowing how she knew, she was conscious that forests had always been her favorite places. But there was something special about this one. It was an Otherworld forest. Everything about it was more. More sylvan. More pine-scented. More fern-veiled. More secretive.

  Or is it just me? Am I growing more aware?

  Excitement surged deep inside her, and she turned to look at Nate. “I think...” She was so overwhelmed, the rest of the words wouldn’t come.

  He caught hold of her other hand, turning her so she was facing him at arm’s length. “Is this it? You feel ready to shift?”

  His eyes were so full of joy for her that her own excitement almost reached stratospheric levels. Because, unlike in the mortal realm, she knew what to do. There was no hesitation. No thinking was needed. No mantra required. This was what she had wanted and needed for so long. A craving so intense it hurt.

  Quickly stripping off her clothes, she closed her eyes and saw herself becoming a werewolf. Pictured the transformation of her body. It wasn’t unfamiliar to her this time. She wasn’t viewing it as an outsider. It was part of her. As natural as breathing. Shifting was just that. It needed only a minor change. It was altering her consciousness from her human to her animal. It was varying her view of the world so that she saw it through the eyes of a werewolf. So she was ready to experience the urges and instincts of her inner animal.

  When the changes came, they were swift and subtle. A lengthening of her features. A relaxing of her muscles. A sense of relief as her body eased into the shape of her wolf.

  Violet opened her eyes, blinking at Nate before dropping onto all fours. She prowled around him, nudging his thigh with her snout, before throwing back her head and giving a single, victorious howl.

  * * *

  Nate stared at the werewolf in amazement. Even though he had been expecting this, part of him had wondered how he would feel. He had tried to prepare himself for this moment. The moment when he first saw the woman he loved in her werewolf form. Would he be able to accept this change in her? Or would he find the difference too startling? Even, possibly, be repulsed?

  Because I hate werewolves.

  But Violet was a stunningly beautiful one. Her pelt was as thick and black as her human hair, and those intense blue eyes hadn’t changed. Her body was lithe, hinting at a strength that must have been impressive prior to her illness. When she came to him and nudged him, he knew it was a message. She was asking for his approval. And there was no hardship about his actions as he tangled his hands in the thick, glossy pelt at her neck. When he crouched so he was on her level, she rubbed her face against his, and Nate wrapped his arms around her neck.

  Not this werewolf. I don’t hate this one. She was still Violet. Still his.

  When he released her, the werewolf broke into a run, her long strides soon taking her out of his sight. Nate sat on a fallen tree stump and waited for her to return. Would she return? He sensed she would. They had a lot to talk about. Then would probably be the time to tell her the whole story.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. If the time had come for the truth, then the time for parting was close. He clasped his hands between his knees and bent his head over them. He had faced some tough challenges in his life, but this? When he thought she was dying, he had made a pact with himself. Let her live and I’ll be able to walk away from her with no regrets. He had truly believed that knowing she was alive somewhere would make him happy. And on one level it did. This was better than a world with no Violet. When he was old and gray, the knowledge that his beautiful wolf was here in Otherworld, running through her beloved forests, would afford him some comfort.

  But I want more. I want it all. I want my beautiful wolf at my side for all the days of my life. I don’t want to be noble. I want to be selfish. I want Violet.

  He had spent the last week desperately trying to think of a way to make it happen. Maybe if her memory returned, if she remembered how to shift, they could try again in the mortal realm? But when he recalled how ill she had been, he knew he would never ask her to risk that. And besides, she was werewolf nobility. Otherworld was her home. This was where she belonged.

  And Nate had a life in the mortal realm. He was a celebrity. The thought still struck him as humorous. From feral werewolf to rock star. His life certainly wasn’t boring. If he was offered the chance of a life with Violet here in Otherworld, he would miss some aspects of the mortal realm. Life on tour with Beast, the thrill of performing, his relationship with his bandmates and Ged. But would he exchange those things for a life with Violet? In a heartbeat.

  Maybe he could go to Cal, make a case for this arrangement to be a permanent one? Ask his friend to work his magic so that Nate could stay in Otherworld forever? He dismissed that idea immediately. Asking the leader of the Otherworld Alliance to bend the rules for a friend wouldn’t be fair. He knew Cal had already stretched his principles on Nate’s behalf by letting him come here in the first place. Mortals were not allowed in Otherworld for a reason. The main one being that, for several of the races here, they were considered a snack.

  All his soul searching had brought him to one conclusion. It was what he already knew. There was no alternative. Once Violet learned the truth—that she was the daughter of Nevan, the Wolf Leader—and Nate had returned her to her family, he would have to walk away from her. ’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. When Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote that famous line, he clearly had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

  For the longest time, Nate had believed he had no heart. He hadn’t had any practice at getting it damaged and dented because he hadn’t believed it was there. He had truly believed that, when Cal drove that silver dagger into his chest, the sorcerer had shriveled that part of him that was capable of love. How could he have known how wrong he was? His heart wasn’t the wilted, dried-up piece of garbage he had believed it to be.

  It had been frozen in time. His heart was just as big and strong as it had ever been; it had as much capacity for love as ever before. It was just as easily hurt. He had trained himself to believe he couldn’t feel the joy of loving the way he loved Violet. Then she had burst upon him, searing her radiance and charm into his heart, soul and body. He had been as wrong as he could be about his ability to feel love. Now he had to accept he could also feel the awful, grinding pain of loss.

  Cal’s knife had left scars on Nate’s heart. Walking away from Violet would smash it into tiny pieces. The scar tissue that remained would be a permanent, never-to-be-healed memory of their time together, like cracks in a china vase. Even though he now knew his heart could do its job, he also knew no one would ever fill the space that Violet had occupied. Love came in all shapes, sizes and color, but so did loss. The day would come when he would never again laugh as he watched her devour an enormous meal. He would never kiss her darling lips good-night.
He would never see her mischievous smile or hear her laughter. And he knew that nobody else in either world could ever reproduce those precious moments or that one magical laugh.

  For the sake of his heart, it was time for Nate to start practicing how to say goodbye.

  Chapter 16

  The sweet delight of running free through the forest refreshed her body as nothing else could. The trees enclosed her, sheathing her in their familiar, pine-scented fragrance. Her werewolf memory stirred. Swirling mists of thought came back to her. She recalled the first time she had shifted. She was a member of a pack. She had siblings. They had taken the place of the mother who had died just after Violet was born. These were less like coherent memories and more thoughts that flowed back to her along with the pounding of her paws.

  From an early age, she had learned to cope as a human. More than cope. Her family had been destined for greatness. But, for a werewolf in human form, there was always a sense of being trapped. Of suppressing the most important part of herself. Violet was half wolf, half human. Both parts were equally important, and sometimes her wolf rebelled against the rules imposed by society. Over time she had learned to walk in skin, but she needed regular opportunities to run in fur. For her, it was a fundamental need, like eating or sleeping. Her wolf couldn’t remain dormant, and that had been the problem in the mortal realm. Because of her memory loss, she hadn’t remembered how to shift. Trap the wolf, and the human couldn’t survive, either. That was what she assumed had happened, but maybe it was something more. An allergy to something in the mortal realm, or a virus. Whatever it was, returning to the mortal realm wasn’t an option, in case it caused a relapse.

  This was what her wolf self had craved. This freedom. The dank smell of the earth mingling with the aromatic scent of sap and mud. The faint sounds of movement in the undergrowth. The feel of the moss and dried leaves underfoot. The pinpricks of golden light drifting through the canopy of branches overhead. She grew stronger with each step as the woodland air rejuvenated her. Violet covered the miles swiftly, pausing only occasionally to drink from the clear waters of a stream. Eventually, flanks heaving and tongue lolling, she turned and retraced her tracks.

  When she returned to where she had parted from Nate, he was seated on the stump of a fallen tree. Nate didn’t hear her approach as she shifted back. He looked so lost and alone that she knew he must be thinking of her...and torturing himself. How had they come to this? From love and laughter to hurt and fear? She would give anything to wipe that frown from his brow. Violet watched him for a moment, her heart aching with so much love it felt like it was overflowing, as if all her feelings were streaming from her body and seeking his.

  She might not have all of her memory, but she knew she had never known what real happiness was until Nate came into her life. Had never known it was possible to feel this way, to wake up each day with a smile simply because there was another person in the world she loved so completely. Because knowing Nate had brought her a contentment so great that, if it hadn’t happened to her, she never would have believed it could exist.

  Acting on impulse, she crossed the distance between them and dropped to her knees before him, grasping his clasped hands. “I’m here now. Let’s not waste what time we have.”

  His eyes darkened as, with a groan of longing, he pulled her to him. As their lips met, Violet pushed his T-shirt up his chest and over his shoulders. His tongue parted her lips, invading her mouth with slow, deliberate strokes. Need ignited instantly between them. Nate’s hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs tracing a pattern around her diamond-hard nipples as Violet pressed closer, her nails raking his shoulders.

  Getting to his feet, he shrugged out of his clothing before pulling her down next to him on the carpet of leaves. His eyes devoured her, drinking in every detail of her body, before he lowered his head to cover the tip of her breast with his lips. Arching her back, Violet released a cry that trembled the canopy of leaves high above her. Nate suckled her deeply, as if he couldn’t get enough of her, lashing her nipple ferociously before he moved on and gave its twin the same treatment. Then his lips were moving lower, his hands pulling her thighs apart, lifting her, spreading her wide open for him as his mouth covered the swollen flesh of her sex.

  Fireworks went off inside Violet’s head as his tongue rasped over the sensitized little pearl of her clitoris. She was already so close. So tightly wound that one more stroke would tip her over the edge. She gave a soft cry of frustration as Nate moved lower, licking along her slit before darting his tongue deep inside her. Violet lost herself in the rhythm he established, licking, circling and plunging. Over and over.

  She locked her fingers in his hair, holding him to her, lifting her hips in time with the desperate riot of heat and sensation that Nate was blasting through her.

  “Please, Nate,” she moaned, twisting her head from side to side among the leaves. “I can’t take much more.”

  Using his thumbs, he spread her outer lips farther apart, pressing his mouth closer against her. At the same time, his tongue increased in speed and pressure. Fire began to coil through her, starting deep in her core and flaring outward. When it came, her orgasm was pure, molten heat exploding through her. It sucked the air from her lungs and swept every trace of reality from her world, replacing it with intense, unthinking sensation. She convulsed beneath him, her whole body rippling and shattering with quakes as Nate continued lashing her with his tongue.

  “You are mine.” As the last violent shudders stilled, he moved into position over her. The look in his eyes was one of ownership as well as love as he took his weight on his elbows. Violet gasped as the head of his cock nudged against her still-clenching core.

  “Always,” she whispered in reply. “No matter what happens in the future, I will always belong to you.”

  She threw her head back, gazing at the dappled sky as he drove into her. Dear God, nothing had ever felt so good. She caught her breath at the tight, tingling sensation as he began to part her still-tender flesh. Nate raised her legs, hooking her knees over his arms as he lifted her to him. She opened to him, stretching tightly around his cock, gripping him as he worked inside her inch by throbbing inch.

  “You’re so perfect. So hot and tight.” Nate’s gaze moved to the point where he penetrated her.

  “Please... I want... I need all of you.”

  He retreated marginally before working the tip back inside her. His neck was corded and taut as he watched his shaft sink inside her. Violet’s internal muscles were clenched so tight around him that she could feel every vein and ridge, every detail of the velvety rod inside her.

  Her hands were clawing at his shoulder as he began to pump, filling her further as she relaxed, allowing him to slide all the way in. She could tell Nate was fighting for control, his dark brown eyes blazing fiery need down at her, his hair flopping forward over his brow. As always, he called to something deep within her. Something primal and animal. Something that went beyond the physical sensations she felt and imprinted itself on her soul.

  She barely had time to draw a deep breath before he began to slam into her. Violet’s hips jerked in time with his thrusts. This was what she needed. Not to be treated with caution. She didn’t want safe and gentle lovemaking. She wanted fast and furious. He was so hot, so deeply and firmly buried within her yielding flesh, that she would remember the feel of him forever.

  Sensations built and layered so she couldn’t tell where one feeling ended and another began. Pressure swelled from the point where their bodies connected, and she ground against him, desperate to increase it. Her breasts were cushioned against his rock-hard muscles, the friction of her nipples rubbing against his coarse chest hair causing a frenzy of sensory overload.

  Nate slid smoothly into her tight entrance, retreating, then driving all the way back until he was buried to the hilt each time. Each stroke stirred her sensitive nerve endings to higher pleasure until
she couldn’t think of anything but the searing, agonizing ecstasy of him thrusting into her.

  He was growling against her neck, his teeth nipping at her shoulder. This is how it would feel if we were both werewolves. The thought slipped away as she writhed wildly beneath him. From nowhere the urge to sink her teeth into the juncture between his shoulder and neck—at the point that would mark him permanently as her mate—became overpowering. Even in her frenzy, Violet forced herself to fight it. He is not a werewolf. He has not asked for my bite.

  Nate powered into her with a hunger like nothing she had ever dreamed of, branding her, scorching her, driving her to the outer limit of her endurance. Violet was gasping beneath him, her nails piercing his back as she tightened around him, the first spasms of her climax tipping her over the edge. Color and light filled her mind as she exploded. Everything inside her let go, spun out of control, triggered contraction after echoing contraction until she was spent and whimpering.

  Distantly, she heard Nate’s hoarse growl as he let go and surrendered to his own release. He pumped inside her harder, swelling again, surging above her one final time before shuddering and dropping his head to her shoulder.

  Long, silent minutes later, Nate drew away from her and flopped onto his side. His breathing was still harsh when he finally spoke. “Violet, I wasn’t thinking straight. I can’t believe I didn’t use a condom.”

  Violet’s voice was almost regretful as she answered him. “Now I know for sure I’m a werewolf, it doesn’t matter. My cycle is the same as a wolf’s. I’m only fertile during the mating season.”

  Nate seemed to understand her feelings. This would be a disastrous time for her to get pregnant, but the reminder that it would never happen for them still hurt. These conversations and plans weren’t theirs to have. He drew her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Then I guess we should see what we can do about getting the leaves out of our hair before we find our clothes, get dressed and head back for lunch.”