Fear You

by B. B. Reid

  I reluctantly turned back. It was a mistake I would regret for the rest of my life. When I looked into her eyes, I saw something I hoped never to see—even when I hated her.

  “That’s all I’m willing to give you.”

  I felt her indrawn breath even from a few feet away. She hardened her jaw but still, the tears glistened, ready to spill over and mark me forever.

  “You torment me for ten years, fuck me silly for the past two months, and make me fall in love with you. Then, if that’s not enough, you almost get me killed because of your asshat dad, and you think you can just walk away because you think it’s the right thing to do?”

  “I don’t give a fuck about what’s right.” At least that was true. If I cared about what was right, I wouldn’t be having thoughts of running away with her and stealing her future forever. “It’s safer this way.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says my brother who is lying in the hospital fighting for his life because of me!”

  Fuck. I didn’t mean to yell at her. I didn’t care that I had just revealed my real relation to Keenan.

  I wanted the blow to be as soft as possible. I did enough damage to her.

  A part of me knew it wouldn’t be easy, but my mind told me she would only be happy if I were out of her life permanently.

  “So you’re going to walk away from him, too?”

  No, just you, baby.

  Keenan’s blood tied him to me and to the danger that followed me. There was no reversing it.

  “If that’s what it takes,” I lied. “He’s still out there.”

  “Because you chose to save your brother’s life!”

  How did she know?

  It was dark. Dust was everywhere. Those moments when I couldn’t find her in the dark were the scariest of my life.

  No, she couldn’t know.

  “You love your brother, Keiran…” She moved closer, making me feel like cornered prey. “…and you love me or else you wouldn’t care.”

  Love? Did I love Lake Monroe?

  Oh, fuck no.

  I couldn’t.

  It wasn’t possible.

  I shook my head in denial and turned to go.

  My back erupted in pain as something hard and round hit and bounced off it. Before I could determine the source, she was on me, pushing with desperate hands. Tears clouded her vision before trailing down her face. I wanted to kiss every single one away. I wanted them gone. I wished I’d never made her cry.

  “You don’t just get to walk away.”

  She beat on my chest, and though her hits weren’t strong enough to do physical damage, I felt every single one and fuck if it didn’t hurt.

  “You don’t get to leave.” All I could do was move back from the onslaught of Lake at her weakest and most vulnerable.

  “You can’t,” she whispered out of breath. Her body trembled uncontrollably. I needed to stop her before she hurt herself.

  I lowered my lips until they were centered right above hers. I would miss kissing those lips.

  “I… don’t… want… you.”

  I went too far.

  I pushed her away.

  Literally.

  I had to watch her fall and know I couldn’t do anything to break her fall. The laughter that sounded around us brought forth a murderous rage. I had to leave before I made things worse.

  As I turned to go, I spotted Quentin standing nearby, watching silently. I locked eyes with him and silently sent him an order.

  Help her.

  Chapter Two

  Keiran

  November

  I’m going to wring her fucking neck.

  Of course, it probably wasn’t the poor fuck’s fault whose neck I currently had my hands wrapped around. He just happened to be in my line of fire when I grew sick of smelling her, feeling her, and seeing her stupid fucking eyes taunting me in my head when I couldn’t have her.

  Fuck.

  I squeezed harder.

  “Inmate 960, let go of the other inmate, now!” I heard the command loud and clear behind me, but couldn’t care less. They were all scared to come in here so they talked shit behind the safety of the bars. Pussies.

  “Come on, young blood, you don’t want to give them a reason to keep you in here. Keep it together,” the gruff voice of a well-respected, older inmate said.

  Right, I was locked up again.

  Only this time, I wasn’t in juvie.

  I was heading to the real deal if this shit stuck.

  Prison.

  I wouldn’t see the light of day for a very long time, and she could escape me forever.

  Funny how that last one made me want to let go. Only I was a second too late as I felt the electric volts pass through my body just as I let go of my cellmate’s neck. My muscles locked up, and all I could do was grunt as I hit the floor, counting the seconds until it was over. It lasted ten seconds but felt more like ten lifetimes. I guess I deserved that. I looked over at the form of my still gasping cellmate as he tried to catch his breath.

  My calves where they hit me burned, and I felt a little weak in the knees when I tried to stand. I let out a laugh when I remembered a promise a certain someone made me when I entered here for the first time.

  I guess she kept her promise in a roundabout way, and I wondered what made me hard more—thinking about the feeling of her pussy or the fact that she finally fought back.

  Dash said my obsession with her was unhealthy. He might be right, but it didn’t mean I had to give a shit. She was mine. But when I saw her face again, I wondered who really owned who. I willed my erection away by thinking of any and everything other than her.

  “Somebody get him out of there,” one of the guards ordered. I prepared myself for a fight because the one thing I hated was someone thinking I could be handled. When the guard cautiously bypassed me and grabbed onto Billy, my unfortunate cellmate, I relaxed.

  I probably shouldn’t have attacked him for simply admiring a picture but three minutes ago, you couldn’t have told me it wasn’t justified. It was who he was admiring in the picture that set me off. It was the picture of her I swiped the morning after our date.

  I don’t know what made me take the picture of her. I just knew I had to have it. I carried it everywhere, always, and didn’t even realize when I’d stopped clinging to Lily’s necklace. She looked happy in the photo, and my gut told me it was taken while I was gone. My throat burned, and my fingers dug into my fists thinking about her being happy. I don’t want her happy… I want her to pay.

  Truth is, as much as I really wanted her to pay for making me feel, when the time had come, I couldn’t bring myself to be as ruthless as I was taught. I know some people would think what I’d done was more than evil, but I could and should have done much worse. It was a mistake I made, and I won’t be making it again. This time I wasn’t going to hold back.

  Monroe was going to feel me—all the pain, hatred, and anger I was going to give to her, one way or another.

  Fuck, I’m hard again.

  ***

  “What’s happening to you, young blood? I thought you had better sense than these knuckleheads in here,” Rufus, the older inmate from this morning, gruffly scolded as he sat down with his tray next to me.

  It had been a few hours since the incident this morning, and surprisingly, I escaped it unscathed minus the tazing. Now I was enduring lunch chow, which was food I wouldn’t even insult my dog with if I had a dog.

  “Your faith in me is misplaced and unwanted,” I responded. No matter how much I was a dick to the guy, he always came back for more. It reminded me a lot of how Dash and I became friends. I didn’t want friends, but he was intent on showing me he wasn’t afraid of me, which was kind of fucking funny.

  The older inmate chuckled, forcing my attention back to him. He rubbed his fingers across his lips, and I took in the markings above his knuckles. I couldn’t really make out whatever the hell it was supposed to mean, but I knew instantly he was a member of a ga
ng. I had run across plenty of them and was even made to kill a few in training. It seemed like a whole lifetime ago. I also knew this guy wasn’t from around here so he must have gotten caught up.

  “I’m not your enemy, and I’m not trying to be, but I imagine you had someone on the outside who kept you levelheaded.”

  “Yeah, he had a problem getting lost, too.”

  “Well, consider me your guardian angel.”

  “Why?” I asked. My suspicion and ire rose simultaneously.

  “Because you need one, and I hate to see kids fall because they’re too stupid to know when they need to stand down.”

  “Is that why you’re in here?” I asked sarcastically.

  “You can say that. But I’m not a kid anymore either. It’s too late for me, but not for you.” I turned back to my tray of untouched food and dug in. “Why are you in here,” he asked after a few moments of silent eating.

  “Suspicion of murder.”

  “So if you made it past the holding cell, I imagine they have some kind of evidence on you.”

  “A witness,” I answered, and immediately wondered why I was confiding in him.

  “That can be eradicated.” He shrugged.

  “Not this one,” I said, hearing the dangerous tone of my own voice. The thought of someone hurting Monroe brought out a protective instinct in me that I hadn’t been able to feel since Lily. The irony of it did not escape me.

  “Family?” he asked with raised brows.

  “No, she’s—” I hesitated because it wasn’t easy describing Monroe and what she was to me. “I go to school with her,” I finished.

  “Girl, huh? She important to you?”

  “No.” I reached for my water and chugged it down. I knew what a lie tasted like. I washed the bitter taste down and then shoved a fork full of… I don’t even know what it is.

  “Son, you mean to tell me you’re willing to go to prison for a girl you don’t care for?”

  “It’s complicated,” I barked, taking a bite of my food to keep from saying more.

  “Love always is, young blood.” Reflex, or whatever the fuck you call it, made me swallow down my food a little too quickly, causing me to choke. Rufus’s heavy hand slammed down on my back repeatedly until I was no longer being assaulted by my own fucking food. “So I guess that means it is serious?” he laughed outrageously.

  I clutched my tray and considered hitting him across the face with it. I let go after a few deep breaths because it wasn’t exactly wise to insult what could be my only ally until I got out of here. If I get out here.

  It wasn’t that I wasn’t able to trust people—I wasn’t willing. Why let anyone in when the majority of the people I met I would be likely to kill just because it suited me?

  Maybe Monroe was right and I was sick. I could tell she wanted to fix me. I could see it in her eyes. She looked at me with hope and… something else. I didn’t bother to tell her my sickness couldn’t be fixed. There wasn’t a cure other than death, and I don’t plan to die anytime soon.

  One thing was certain though—I do not love Lake Monroe.

  “So what’s your story, kid?”

  “Why do you want to know?”

  “Because you never know what can come of telling someone your story. Could be good. It could be bad. It all comes around anyway.”

  “I’m not interested.”

  “Try me, anyway.”

  ***

  Twelve Years Ago

  “You,” the burly man with an enormous amount of facial hair pointed at me with a chubby finger, “get dressed. Your training starts today.”

  “Training?” I asked while trying to hide the fear I felt. I saw what happened to the others who showed fear. They were beaten, starved, or just disappeared.

  “It’s your lucky day. You get to start earning your keep and maybe we’ll even feed you more.” He laughed hard causing his belly to shake.

  “Wha—what do I have to do?” The man’s eyes narrowed as he peered down at me cowering on my hard, stained cot. It wouldn’t be so bad if they let us have sheets or a blanket, but they said we didn’t deserve it yet.

  “Are you scared, little boy?” he snarled.

  “No, sir,” I quickly answered and jumped to my feet.

  “Good.” He grinned. “Because today you get to learn how precious life is and how fun it is to take it.”

  * * *

  Present Day

  I jerked awake, covered in sweat and filled with anger. The blanket and sheets were balled up at the foot of the bed as usual. I rarely felt the need to cover myself when I slept. I snatched the corner of the cover up to my face and wiped off the perspiration, fighting to relax my aching jaw muscles. I must have clenched them in my sleep again.

  I shook off the remnants of sleep and what was left of my memories of Frank. He was an evil son-of-a-bitch, and now he was a dead son-of-a-bitch. He was the only person I’d ever killed willingly. As usual, I waited for the feeling of guilt or remorse I should have felt but never did.

  I felt the onslaught of the familiar yet intense need for Monroe, and when I get her, I will do one of two things—kill her or fuck her.

  Chapter Three

  Lake

  “I don’t think this is such a good idea.” My gaze passed over everything in sight in frantic repetition, looking for the source of my anxiety even though I knew he wouldn’t be there.

  “Come on, Lake,” Willow huffed. “I thought you said you weren’t afraid of him anymore, starting today.”

  “When did I say that?” I shot my best friend of ten years an accusing look.

  “Five minutes ago,” Sheldon teased.

  That’s three words.

  Keenan’s condition had only worsened, and he was quickly becoming critical. Two weeks ago, when Sheldon called me in near hysterics, she told me Keenan’s only working lung was beginning to fail. To make matters worse, after the doctor’s questioned the probability of both John and Sophia being Keenan’s parents due to their blood combination, a paternity test was advised.

  Just who is Sophia Blackwood anyway?

  She is the only mystery remaining in this tangled web I’ve been repeatedly fucked in.

  With Keiran arrested, I wasn’t able to breathe as easily as I thought. In fact, I was more worried than ever. When Keiran came back into my life a few months ago, he came with a vengeance. As it turns out, his vengeance was misplaced, but this time I earned it.

  I turned Keiran in.

  I fought back.

  And somehow, I knew it wasn’t over. He would be back.

  “Yeah, so come on. It will be fine because we’ll make it fine,” Willow ordered. Willow wasn’t taking any prisoners. She and Sheldon spent the last two weeks campaigning for me to stay. I think there was even a threat or two thrown in there.

  In the end, I relented because what else could I do? I loved them too damn much. Now here I was, about to walk the halls of Bainbridge for the first time in three weeks. Thank God I was caught up on my work or else I wouldn’t be graduating this year, and that just wouldn’t do.

  “Besides,” Sheldon added, “he can’t get to you now. You’re safe.”

  “But what about tomorrow? What happens when he gets out?”

  “He burned two people alive. He won’t get off.”

  But did he really do it? The question burned my throat, and I almost blurted it out but resisted. It didn’t occur to me until it was too late that I had no real proof of Keiran’s guilt. Sure, he was the last person to see them alive but—

  The shrill of Sheldon’s phone broke through my thoughts and she immediately answered. The look of relief mixed with pain on her face held my attention as she spoke into the phone. Her side of the conversation consisted of terse, clipped answers as she looked down at her feet, sometimes only nodding. If the sunlight hadn’t picked that moment to break through the clouds, I might not have ever caught the lone tear that trailed down her throat.

  “I can’t, Dash. I just can’t
. I’m sorry. No. Yes. Oh, God,” she sobbed and hung up the phone. Willow and I were on her instantly as her knees buckled.

  “What? What is it?” I asked fearfully. We fought to hold her up but eventually, let her crumble to the ground as we followed her.

  “The doctors were able to patch the part of his lung that was failing, but it’s only a temporary fix. He’ll need a lung transplant or he won’t live a full life.”

  “Oh, no,” Willow whispered with a sheen of tears in her own eyes.

  “Oh God. He’s—” She brought her knees to her chest and began rocking back and forth. We were oblivious to the fact we were in the parking lot of the school. Most of the other students were inside, but there were a few who watched us while talking behind their hands.

  “He what?” I urged.

  “He’s awake,” she forced out through trembling lips.

  “Well, that’s good news… isn’t it?” Willow asked

  “Yes but—” She shook her head furiously. “Dash said he’s barely able to talk, but he did ask for one thing.”

  “What did he ask for?” I asked while fighting back my own tears. Her eyes were filled with sorrow and complete desolation as she looked at me.

  “Me.”

  * * *

  “How was your first day back at school?” Aunt Carissa asked as soon as I was through the door after school.

  “Uneventful.”

  If you don’t count Sheldon’s emotional breakdown in the school parking lot. I attempted to make a clean getaway to my room, but my aunt’s next words stopped me in my tracks.

  “A Detective Daniels came by here today.”

  A lie immediately spilled from my lips. “Oh, really? I wonder what he could have—”

  “So help me, if you are seriously thinking to lie to me…” she growled and stood up from her seat on the couch, planting her fists on her hips.

  “No more than you lied to me, you mean?” I swallowed down the sting of bitterness

  “Lake…”

  “No, Aunt Carissa. I can’t hear this right now.”