Fear You

by B. B. Reid

  Remember it was your choice.

  Just as I read the last word, a hard noise sounded from outside my window. I was out of bed and down the stairs in no time, all the while praying my aunt didn’t wake up. A feeling akin to rage bubbled up inside me and took over my train of thought.

  He was trying to get in.

  What if he changed his mind and wanted to retaliate?

  To hurt my aunt.

  I foolishly believed in the justice system, thinking that finally Keiran would finally be the one caught in a corner with no way out.

  The door opened wide under the force of my anger, and I was met with the smug face of Keiran on the doorstep before I could step outside.

  “I—you were—”

  “I told you I would get you to let me in.”

  “Keiran, you have to leave. My aunt is asleep upstairs and if you think I will let you anywhere near her after what you tried to do…”

  “Do you really believe if I actually wanted to kill your aunt that she wouldn’t be dead?” He forced his way past me without waiting for an answer and shut the door.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I whispered loudly, trying not to wake my aunt. He ignored me and snuck upstairs, leaving me with no choice but to follow after him. My heart was pounding a hard staccato as I prayed my aunt wouldn’t wake. I was more nervous about her catching me with Keiran than the danger to her safety. A part of me honestly believed when he said he was no longer interested in using my aunt to hurt me, though I would never admit it out loud. I needed to hold on to that part of him as a safety net. If I became too comfortable… if I gave into him again… if I trusted him, I would lose much more than he threatened.

  When we reached my room, I hurried past him and grabbed my phone from the bed where I had tossed it after reading his text. The screen lit up under my command, and I immediately began dialing Detective Daniels. I had his number committed to memory, though I’d hoped I would never have to use it.

  Just as the phone began to ring, a deep laugh erupted from Keiran’s chest before he snatched the phone and pocketed without taking his eyes from me.

  “Who were you calling?” he questioned. Amusement teased his lips. “No. Let me guess… Detective Daniels?”

  “No one ever accused you of being stupid.”

  “If you’re going to try to scare me, you’re going to have to do better than that.”

  “Well, I tried to kill you, but it seems only one of us can kill innocent people.” I immediately regretted my words when he flinched and look of pain crossed his features.

  “I—I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” he looked at me curiously. “You meant it, didn’t you? Besides… I’m not innocent.”

  No, you never were.

  “Regardless, it’s not as easy for me to kill someone as it is for you.”

  “I never said it was easy.”

  “But you’re willing to do it,” I countered.

  He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “If it means never losing control, then yes… I am willing to do it. I’m even willing to kill you.”

  I sucked in a breath and narrowed my eyes. “Then why don’t I believe you?”

  “Because sometimes, I really do wish I could kill you,” he whispered.

  Sometimes, I wish you could love me.

  Somehow, it was an unspoken rule that my breakdown in the hallway a month ago when I had admitted I had fallen in love with him wasn’t to be mentioned. It didn’t matter in the end because admitting I loved him didn’t make him stay, and it didn’t keep him from killing Trevor and Anya.

  “Why do you think death is always the answer?”

  “Because it’s the only answer you can’t change—no matter how much you wish you could.” His voice trailed off at the last, and when his gaze became clouded, I wondered if he was thinking about Lily and if he regretted killing her.

  “Has she said anything yet?” His gaze was now trained on me, and I stared back in confusion.

  “Who?”

  “Your aunt. I saw the paper today. Everyone did.”

  “Is that why you’re here?”

  “Did she tell you to stay away from me?” he asked, ignoring my question.

  “And if she had? What would you do?”

  A half smile curled his lips as he said, “I would be tempted to steal you away.”

  “First blackmail and now kidnapping. If you keep this up, you could become boy scout of the year.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “No, Keiran. My aunt has no idea that the same boy who showed up on our doorstep for Monday morning pancakes—”

  “Wednesday.”

  “What?”

  “It was Wednesday morning pancakes.”

  “Fine. Whatever. Wednesday. Why does that matter?”

  “Because the next day I tasted you for the first time, Monroe.” His eyes darkened and drew me into the memory of his lips between my thighs, owning me. “And I’ll never forget how good it was.”

  My mouth dried, and I found it difficult to speak, but somehow, I managed. “Good. I suggest you hold on to the memory because it will never happen again.”

  “Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. It will just make your fall from grace much more difficult than it has to be.”

  We were treading into dangerous territory, and I needed to change the subject. Fast. “You had my aunt followed for six weeks…”

  He shot me a knowing look before asking, “And?”

  “Did you know she wasn’t on her book tour the entire time?”

  “Yes,” he answered without hesitation.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” He raised an eyebrow, and I realized my mistake. It was hard to remember sometimes that just a few weeks ago, he had blackmailed me for sex by threatening to kill my aunt. Giving me information on her whereabouts was the last thing he would have cared to do.

  “I was curious,” he answered anyway.

  “You were curious?”

  “I wanted to know why the aunt of someone who was willing to endure so much for her would lie to her, so I continued to have her followed.”

  “Where did she go?”

  “Ten years ago, where were your parents vacationing?” I frowned when I realized Keiran knew more about my parents disappearance than I thought. I wasn’t from here so no one knew my parents, and I didn’t exactly make it public information.

  “They said they wanted to see the world but always talked about seeing Niagara Falls. It was the last known place they went when we had contact.”

  “Your aunt never left Canada, Monroe. For the first week, she went to a few events I imagine had to do with her books, and then after that, she met up with some guy.”

  “She met a guy?”

  “A private investigator. An excellent one, too.”

  “She was looking for my parents.”

  “I know.” He watched me carefully, but his eyes held no warmth or sympathy in them for someone who had just found out about their dead parents. “Why don’t you want to know?”

  “Because my parents have been dead in my mind for a long time now, but I always thought maybe I was wrong. Hearing it will just make it irreversible.”

  “We’ll just have to help you forget.”

  I didn’t miss the sexual shift that took place. If having sex with my enemy meant forgetting about my parents for a little while, then I would give in... just this once.

  His hands removed my sparse clothing and dropped them carelessly to the floor. I wanted to undress him too, but there was no way in hell I would give him the satisfaction of appearing overly eager.

  I was naked and feeling even more vulnerable in no time. He started to undress, first removing his shirt, and I nearly salivated at the sight of his chest once it was bare. Did all eighteen year old’s look like that? His body was unreal. It also made me embarrassingly self-conscious of my own.

  Was I too thin? Was my chest too flat? Was my ass too fla
bby? Oh, God… What if my ankles were ashy?

  I discreetly did a quick check of my ankles. All seems to be properly moisturized.

  Frustrated, I ran my hand through hair and stared down at the floor. I was acting like a complete nitwit. This wasn’t our first time together. Not even close.

  With a light push of his hand, I was flat on my back, looking up at his smirking face. The sound of his belt unbuckling and his zipper lowering made my core clench with need. His gray eyes were glowing with a possession, and from the predatory look on his face, I knew he was going to eat me alive… and I wouldn’t have the good sense to stop him.

  “Wait.”

  His eyebrow rose at my hesitation. “Do you think you’re really able to tell me no?” he asked as he crawled over my body that had already gone lax in submission.

  “I thought you didn’t ask questions you already know the answer to?” His hands ran up my thighs while he sat on his haunches above me causing me to lose the rest of my words, but I still managed to hold his gaze.

  “You’ve become a hard person to read these days,” he admitted and looked none too pleased about it.

  “I don’t want to want you. Is that clear enough for you?” We glared at each other in our typical fashion of foreplay, and I would be damned if it didn’t get me hotter than the dirtiest words or the softest touches.

  “Spread your legs for me,” he ordered, breaking the silence. “You can still hate me now and pretend again in the morning.”

  “What would I be pretending?”

  “That you aren’t mine.” He lifted my leg around his waist and slid inside me in a single, smooth motion that drew out a gasp of pleasure and pain. I’d forgotten how big he was…

  “Quiet now,” he mocked to cover up his low groan. “You wouldn’t want your dear aunt to hear.”

  I pressed my hand against his chest to stop him, and even though I wasn’t strong enough to actually stop him, he paused and waited anyway. “Before this goes any further, I want you to agree to two things.”

  “My cock is already inside you, Monroe,” he rolled his eyes, appearing annoyed. “This is hardly the time to make demands.”

  “You either hear them and agree or get off me, get out, and never speak to me again. I will only agree to one night. Take it or leave it.”

  “Is that one of your demands?”

  “Call it a prelude.”

  “Go on,” he answered warily.

  “First, I want you to stay away from my aunt and stay away from Willow. You don’t use them against me, at all.”

  “What—”

  “It’s non-negotiable.”

  “Fine. Agreed. You drive a hard bargain.” His voice oozed sarcasm.

  “I’m not finished.”

  “What is your heart’s desire?” he sneered.

  I lifted my upper body enough to bite into his chin and whispered as seductively as I could manage, “I want you to make love to me.”

  That was a mistake.

  He reared back as if I’d slapped him and stared down at me with an unreadable expression. “Come again?”

  A little of my confidence dissolved at the sudden chilly vibe I was getting from him. His body had gone rigid, and his jaw clenched and unclenched as the silence stretched between us.

  “For once, I want to have sex and not be treated as an object.”

  Some unnamed emotion changed his features, and then he was gone. My body mourned the loss of his, as I suddenly felt cold and just a little foolish. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that this is what I wanted.

  “An object? You think I treat you like an object?”

  “I don’t think, Keiran. When this all began, you used me as some sick pawn for your misplaced anger and need for revenge. Where do we stand now?”

  “It’s sex, Monroe,” he answered as he pulled on his jeans. “We fuck. That’s what we do. Don’t romanticize it.”

  “You don’t mean it,” I said even as tears welled up in my eyes.

  “You don’t know me well enough to tell me what I mean. I may not hate you anymore, but nothing has changed.”

  “Everything has changed. Why can’t you see that?” He ignored me as he pulled on his shirt. Suddenly, I was very aware of the fact that I was naked and quickly used as much of the bed sheets that were accessible to cover up.

  “I see everything. It’s why I’m telling you this,” he motioned between the two of us, “is a mistake. What you’re trying to create will never happen.”

  “What gives you the right to choose the boundaries of our relationship? You think you can control what happens between us by being a dick, but I know you care about me. Sooner or later, your feelings are going to catch you.”

  “There’s nothing to catch. I’m only trying to right a wrong.”

  “Screw right or wrong. You don’t give a damn about doing the right thing. You never did.”

  “Well, I like to think I’m an advocate of new beginnings,” he replied sarcastically.

  “I agree. I think maybe it’s time I start dating.” When his eyes cut to me, and a look darker than I’ve ever seen clouded his features, I knew I had him. A small smile tugged at my lips, but I concealed it with a frown. I didn’t stop to think of the consequences of baiting him. “You know… the more I think about it, the better the idea sounds… I’m sure there are plenty of guys who wouldn’t mind fucking me… nice and slow… over and over. Oh, the possibilities! We could—”

  I was face down and nearly suffocated by the bed sheets. I barely noticed my hips being yanked into the air. However, the slap to my bum made me painfully conscious of that very fact. The sound of his belt loosening, and then first one and then the other of my hands were yanked behind me. The familiar leather of the belt was smooth on my skin as he wrapped it around my wrists. I was bound and bare before I could gather my wits or catch my breath. “Keiran, what are you doing?” I gasped.

  “I want you to repeat what you just said to me.”

  Shit. “Huh?”

  Another hard slap to my ass was my answer. “Repeat.”

  “This is ridiculous,” I spat while trying to control the trembles of my body. “Untie me and get out.”

  “You don’t want me to leave, Monroe.”

  “And how do you know that? Believe it or not, your company isn’t all that pleasant.”

  “Because you would have kept your mouth shut. Now repeat what you said to me.”

  “I can’t remember,” I pouted petulantly even though he couldn’t see.

  “You can’t remember, huh?” His hands ran up the length of my back slowly until he came to grip my ponytail. “Should I remind you then?”

  I peeked over my shoulder in time to see his hand lower his zipper. I lost my breath to the anticipation. I felt him inside me already tonight, but I needed to feel him own me. I wouldn’t deny myself a second time.

  I waited with barely concealed excitement for him to bare himself to me, but he moved his hand away to strip off his shirt, leaving his jeans open. “Wait here,” he ordered unnecessarily. Where would I go?

  His footsteps retreated the short distance to my dresser and pulled open the third drawer. Oh, no… he couldn’t know, could he? I watched him lift my clothing to unveil the shiny black and yellow vibrator neatly lying at the bottom. I bought it on a whim a week after he was sent back to jail, but never used it. How did he know it was there?

  “Imagine my surprise when I found you have a kinky side. How many times have you used this to touch yourself?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

  “Did you think of me when you pleasured yourself?”

  “I didn’t think of you at all because I didn’t use it. It was a stupid impulse buy.”

  A wicked smile spread across his lips as he picked up the small bottle of lube Sheldon and Willow insisted I get. “Not anymore.”

  “What?” Without answering, he moved toward the bed and grabbed my hair, pulling my head back. His sudden assault on my li
ps was hard and combustible as he devoured me.

  “I’m going to make you come so hard,” he whispered harshly against my lips after he finally came up for air. “Is that what you want?”

  “Yes,” I panted softly.

  He tugged on my hair, deepening the arch in my back and forcing me to look into his eyes. “Louder.”

  Did he expect me to beg and scream my need knowing my aunt was only a couple of doors away?

  “Yes.” My voice was louder that time and filled with desperation, but it didn’t satisfy his urge to humiliate.

  “Yes, what?” he taunted. “Let me hear you say it.”

  “Please make me come… hard.”

  He nodded his head, and the buzz of the vibrator sounded throughout the room immediately. He moved out of sight but kept his hand on my hips as he knelt behind me still dressed in his jeans.

  I thought he would touch me, but I should have known better. The instant the vibrator touched my lower back I jerked in surprise and let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t think that’s where it goes.” With my hands tied behind my back, I was more vulnerable and out of sorts. I guess I should have been thankful I wasn’t blindfolded.

  “And where should it go?” he asked quietly, but there was a hard edge, too. The vibrator slipped around my side to my lower stomach, making butterflies erupt. I turned my head to see his face. “Eyes forward…” The sharp command had me snapping back obediently to my annoyance. “…or I’ll have to blindfold you.”

  “Yes, sir,” I mocked. I would have saluted if my hands weren’t bound.

  The vibrator left my skin when his hand lifted. I stared down at in shock when it appeared leveled with my lips.

  “Natural lubrication to the artificial kind? No contest. Suck it.”

  When he pressed the vibrating length against my lips, I obeyed without a second thought. I felt the vibration against my tongue as I licked and sucked around the head of it.

  “All of it,” he ordered.

  My mouth opened wider to slide lower and closed my eyes pretending it was him.

  Just as I had the vision of him bare for me as I pleasured him with my mouth, he pulled away.

  “Monroe, I’m waiting.”

  “I, uh…”