Fear You

by B. B. Reid

  “Oh, for fuck sake. It’s Anya reincarnated.”

  Our heads snapped simultaneously to Sheldon and Dash standing in my driveway with astonished expressions… well… Sheldon looked more pissed as she glared at Diana.

  “Trust me, sweetheart—that’s one line you don’t want to cross for numerous reasons. And those reasons are way too fucked up to talk about even over a bottle of whiskey.” She switched her glare to me and bared her teeth. “Isn’t that right, Keiran?”

  I didn’t bother to answer her question or acknowledge Dash’s inquisitive stare. What is he doing bringing her over here anyway? I didn’t give a shit about being caught in a compromising position. I had no intention of ever touching Diana and even less intention of explaining myself. I unlocked the door and entered, leaving the door open because what else would they all do but follow?

  Ever since Sheldon became friends with Monroe, she had watched me like a hawk, critical of every move I made. It made my previous tolerance of her almost unbearable. She didn’t think I was good enough for Monroe… well, that was one thing we agree on at least.

  “Who is she?” Sheldon demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. I didn’t miss the eye roll she directed her gaze toward Diana.

  “Why is that your business?” I asked casually. Truth is, I was really curious to know why she cared so much.

  Sheldon’s eyes narrowed and her lips set to deliver a scathing reply, but Dash interjected before she could. “Actually, I would like to know myself.”

  His hard gaze met mine, and he silently communicated that he wasn’t about to let it go. I sighed and relented because I trusted Dash and much more than that, I respected him. “She’s Mario’s—”

  He eyed Diana with a look of disgust while Diana checked him out with a lascivious look. “She’s a little young…”

  “Eww. I’m his daughter.”

  “Oh, she speaks,” Sheldon griped. “I thought you only talked when you wanted to get a cock in your mouth.”

  “What’s wrong, princess? You afraid of a little competition?”

  “You’re barking up the wrong tree. I’m actually doing his brother,” she snapped.

  Teeth were bared and claws unsheathed as they squared off against each other. I felt the beginnings of a headache stir, so I signaled Dash to take care of them and headed upstairs for my gear. I needed to play a game to unwind because if I had to listen to any more of that, I would be tempted to shoot both of them between the eyes.

  I came back downstairs after changing into only basketball shorts and sneakers. As soon as my foot connected with the carpet of the living room and all eyes shifted to me, I immediately regretted not wearing a shirt. Diana’s eyes shamelessly trailed my body, and the way she licked her lips told me she was thinking of only one thing. Sheldon’s snort and the sound of disgust interrupted her eye fucking when she turned her gaze to glare at Sheldon.

  “I called Q,” I directed to Dash, dismissing them.

  “Dude, we can’t play with only three players,” he reminded me.

  “Damn.” I rubbed my forehead and hid my frown by aiming it at my feet. Right. How could I forget? My brother was lying in the hospital with his only remaining lung failing, and here I was ready to play basketball.

  “I can call Buddy,” Dash offered. I could hear the sympathy in his voice and could feel my anger grow, but rather than taking it out on my best friend, I turned on my heel for the door. “Fine. Whatever.”

  * * *

  Buddy fell on his ass for the third time in the ten minutes we had been playing. He sent me an uncharacteristic dirty look and swiftly jumped back on his feet and continued the play without missing a beat.

  I knew they were all thinking the same. It was written all over their faces. I knew it too, so I guess it’s why no one bothered to say anything.

  I was falling apart.

  For the last ten years, basketball had been my escape and punishing Monroe had been my drug. With Monroe gone, I felt as if there was nothing to keep be balanced, and I was too preoccupied for even the simplest of distractions.

  I dribbled the ball, and as it bounced from hitting the pavement and made its way back into my hand, I was reminded of everything that waited to destroy me—and everyone I could hurt in the process.

  Monroe.

  John.

  Keenan.

  I took the shot… I made the basket.

  The play resumed, and the ball was in my opponent's hand and like always, I waited for an opening to get the ball back into my hands and steal another victory.

  I watched my opponents, I studied their reactions, and I looked for a weakness and then took an opening. The ball was in my hands, and I was back in control.

  Arthur.

  Mitch.

  My control of the ball faltered on my third dribble, but I quickly regained control, and just as I braced my feet to take the shot, I was blindsided.

  My palms scraped the pavement as I slid across the concrete and gritted from the pain of the abrasions I knew I would find. The ball bounced away, and when I looked up, Buddy was standing over me with an apologetic expression.

  “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to foul you like that.” He held out his hand and waited for me to take it. I ignored it and jumped to my feet, much like he had except I felt my knees turn to jelly. His hand was still out, and a look of uncertainty was plastered on his face, so I took it in mine and shook it to show no hard feelings.

  “It’s not your fault. I should have been watching my back.”

  We each toweled off before making our way to the house. “Do you think they killed each other by now?” Dash joked. “It’s been mighty quiet.”

  “Who are you talking about?” Quentin questioned as we entered the house.

  “Some chick he’s babysitting as a favor.”

  I made my way into the living room with Quentin and Dash following. Buddy had to go home and get ready for a date with a senior. I shook my head at the kid’s charm and ability to pull girls in any age group.

  “Where is she?” I asked Sheldon when I looked around and didn’t see Diana. I was already fisting my car keys thinking she ran.

  “She said something about using the shower to take a hoe bath.”

  “Isn’t that a bird bath?”

  “Not for her kind,” she sneered.

  I blew out a breath and then wondered again why Dash had brought her here. From the look in her eyes, I could tell she wanted to stir shit up. She was pissed, and I couldn’t bring myself to care. I cared about Sheldon, but she was the least of my problems. For some reason, she thought she could get away with bossing everyone around. Including me.

  “Stop being a royal dick, Dash spat”

  “You’re one to talk. Why do you think Willow avoids you?”

  The twins began to bicker and hurling insults between them while Quentin and I looked on. It wasn’t uncommon for them to fight. They rarely ever didn’t argue. I assumed it was a twin thing.

  Just as I was about to intervene, I heard Di’s shriek of disbelief sound from behind me.

  “Quentin?”

  The twins stopped arguing immediately while Q and I whipped around to see her standing in the doorway. Her skin was as pale as a ghost. Not even when she told me about nearly being killed an hour ago had she looked so shaken.

  My gaze bounced from Quentin to Diana before settling on Quentin’s confused expression. He didn’t seem to know her, but she knew him. She took in his confusion and curled her lip slowly. “What’s the matter? Don’t you recognize your childhood lover?”

  “Diana?” Q took a step toward her, but Di quickly retreated. The tension in the room was stifling. My gaze shifted between the two as they stared at each other in anger, confusion, and wonder.

  “I take it you two know each other?” Dash asked, stating the obvious while I mentally slapped myself for not making the connection sooner considering who Di’s father was.

  “Yeah, we know each other,” Quentin nodded slo
wly. Anger was brewing in his eyes as they remained fixed on her.

  “Mind sharing how?” Sheldon asked and crossed her arms. She shot me an accusatory glance as if I had planned this.

  “Keiran, what is she doing here?” Quentin asked without looking away from Di.

  “Oh, he didn’t tell you?” She grinned before I could respond. “He’s my new babysitter. You know how Daddy can get into trouble sometimes because of his business.”

  “Jeez, is he still—”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend you care about what happens to me.”

  “Diana—”

  “You left. You found happily ever after and left me to pick up the pieces you left behind. Don’t worry. It’s kept me warm at night in all the places it cut me the deepest.”

  The silence descending did nothing to help the tension in the room.

  “I’ll kill him,” Quentin growled. That declaration was the first time he’d ever acknowledge his past. He’d gotten out before I did, but now I wasn’t so sure his salvation was what it seemed.

  Could Mario be dirtier than he seemed? His story of being kicked out of the bureau because of corrupt practices always had a few holes, but I was willing to overlook them until now. I told myself his business wasn’t my concern, but that was before it jumped out at me in my living room and left me feeling like I’d just been caught with my pants around my ankles and my dick in my hand.

  “No, you won’t and don’t pretend you care.”

  “And why the fuck not?”

  “Because he’s still Daddy.”

  “Are the Burkin bags and shiny, diamond bracelets worth it?”

  Her eyes narrowed to angry slits. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  “Enlighten me, Diana. Because the last I checked, your father used you to make money. What am I missing?”

  “Try the last ten years!” she growled and stormed out of the living room. Quentin started after her, but the hand I placed on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. I ignored the hostile look he gave me, but after a moment, thought twice about it and took my hand down to rest at my side. Thankfully, he didn’t make for the door again.

  “We need to talk.”

  “Later.”

  “No,” I snapped letting my anger show for the first time since she called his name in shock. “We talk now.”

  * * *

  Dash left with his sister, and I wasted no time with interrogating Q. We were sitting at the table in the kitchen with shot glasses filled with the hardest liquor I could find.

  “What just happened in my living room?”

  He took a shot and immediately poured another. “You know most of it.”

  “Then start with the part I don’t know.”

  “First, tell me why you are still dealing with him, and why you didn’t tell me?”

  “Because he is the only way I can find Arthur, and I needed to keep everything as low key as possible.”

  Q released a hard breath and took another shot. I pulled the bottle away while giving him a pointed look. I wanted him relaxed, but I didn’t want him drunk before I could get any answers.

  “I thought you would have given up on that now that you’re out.”

  “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m in too deep. He’s going to be looking to collect on his payment.”

  “Do you really believe he pulled those kinds of strings to get you out on bail just to gain a worker? He can find someone like you on any street.”

  He spit the words out harshly, but I knew he didn’t mean it as an insult. The fact of the matter was he was right. “I told him I would hand deliver his mole.”

  “You’re double-crossing Mario?” His eyebrows raised in surprise as he studied me with doubt evident in his eyes.

  “He was in on it. He wants to draw him out just as much as I do.”

  “Why didn’t you stop all contact with him when he returned you to your uncle?”

  “I didn’t hear from or see him again for years. It wasn’t until I went to juvie that I saw him again.”

  “You saw him?”

  “Yeah. He came to visit me.”

  Q sat up straighter and ground his jaw. “He’s been keeping an eye on you the whole time, hasn’t he?”

  “He’s been watching the both of us,” I clarified.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Do you really think you would have wanted to know? You’ve spent the last ten years avoiding your past.”

  His fist slammed down on the table before he ground out, “That doesn’t give you the right to keep this from me.”

  “And Diana? What’s the story between you two? You never told me you knew his daughter.”

  “You didn’t even know she existed before.”

  “Exactly my point. You hid things, too.” We could have spent all night hurling accusations but we both knew it wouldn’t get us anywhere. “What did you mean he used her to make money?”

  “Your golden boy isn’t clean. He’s as dirty as they come,” he spat.

  “I know. He’s greedy, but he isn’t Arthur.”

  “Then obviously you don’t know half of what you think you do.”

  “Enlighten me, Quentin,” I snapped, using his words from earlier.

  “Did Mario ever tell you why he broke his partnership with Arthur?”

  “He said Arthur was becoming too suspicious, and his cover was in jeopardy when he started pressing the issue against child pornography.”

  Quentin’s grim expression deepened as he shook his head and leaned forward. “That motherfucker wasn’t against child porn. He broke it off because he wanted a bigger cut.”

  My mind raced from all the implications and before he could say more, I was already piecing together the rest.

  I’d been played.

  “Arthur was cashing in on the majority of the share because he was supplying the fresh talent. How do you think Arthur was so successful keeping his business undetected by the Feds? Mario was his eyes and ears, and for that, he believed it should have been a fifty-fifty partnership. When Arthur refused, Mario decided to break it off and start his own line of business while stealing from Arthur’s supply.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “Because I was his first recruit.”

  Son of a bitch. “And Diana?”

  “She was a convenience he made useful to get his business up and running.”

  “He used his own daughter?”

  “To him, he didn’t believe he was selling her. That motherfucker made us do sick shit to each other every day in front of a camera. We were just kids, man. We had no clue what we were doing. He coached us through it. Showed us what to do. When we complained too much, he beat us.”

  “And then what happened?” I asked though I already knew.

  “You showed up.”

  “How did my appearance change things? I wasn’t there long before he brought me to the States.”

  “Mario is sloppy as hell and isn’t as nearly as careful as he thinks. I overheard a lot of his business dealings. I didn’t understand much of it then, but I remember all of it. The bureau got word of him spending too much of his time outside of the United States jurisdiction. Arthur had business dealings in Canada, as you know, and within the States. They pulled him from the case because he had apparently failed to bring the bureau evidence that would allow them to convict or at least bring him in with a good chance of the charges sticking.”

  “He was found out.”

  “Big time. The bureau began investigating Mario. He lost his job, but the only reason they weren’t able to convict was because he was never caught with anything illegal.”

  “Meaning us.”

  “Bingo. He brought us here to save his own ass. Being caught with us meant a conviction and time behind bars and becoming the bitch of a beefy inmate named MacDaddy.”

  “Where was Diana being kept? I never met her.”

  “With her mother, I assume. We wer
e never left together long before and after sessions. He brought her in when he wanted to film and she always left after.”

  “Why would he bring Diana here knowing you lived in the same city? He had to know I would find out.”

  “He wouldn’t think you’d care.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You impressed a lot of people back then, Keiran. You were able to channel your emotions and throw away childhood possibilities and become what they needed of you.”

  “Are you trying to say they broke me?”

  “Didn’t they?”

  “I wasn’t afraid. I didn’t show fear.”

  “But how much did you let them take from you?”

  Quentin was actually older than I was by two years. Without medical records, we were able to lie about his age. Somehow, even then, we knew the significance of staying together. Q spent months in foster care while the agencies and local law enforcement attempted to track down his parents, but after nearly a year, no one stepped forward to claim him. He was eventually taken into the care of a couple. We’d never spoken about it before, but I knew he had possessed a small ounce of hope that he would find his parents. The parents who likely sold him to buy a hit or a beach house in Malibu. It just all depended on how much they thought he was worth.

  “You were there, man. You did the same as I did. You made the same sacrifices.”

  “And when I was finally free, I was able to let go. Can you say the same?”

  Letting go… I kept hearing that phrase. It’s like everyone got together to figure out how the hell they could get me to let go.

  The last person to tell me to let go was Dash. I knew what to say to get him off my back, but this was Q. He knew what it was like and based on the story he had just revealed, he knew a hell of a lot more than I did. Mario had turned him and his daughter into child prostitutes. I swallowed down the bile and whatever feelings I had about the past. I dealt with it how it suited me, and all the Dr. Phil’s of the world could go fuck themselves.