The Widow and the Rock Star

by J. Thomas-Like

  “I think we’ll get a cab.” I crooked my finger and the girls followed me to the cabstand. “No sense taking a chance.”

  “I agree,” Vivienne said quietly, giving me a reassuring look.

  “Meh.” Pepper shrugged noncommittally. “Not one of us is drunk, you know.”

  Vivienne scowled and I laughed.

  “Maybe not, but I’m not in the mood for another tabloid run.” I turned to Vivienne. “How about you?”

  “No thanks, I’ll pass.” Her snort of derision made me laugh a little harder.

  When the cab arrived, I opened the door for the girls and Pepper shoved Vivienne in first. Then she hopped inside and grabbed the door closed. It was my turn to scowl at her, but she grinned back in triumph. I walked around to the other side and opened the door. I eased myself in trying not rub up against Vivienne, who looked flustered. I gave the driver my address, then leaned back against the worn seat.

  Vivienne fidgeted nervously next to me while Pepper talked on and on about nothing important. I was glad I had decided not to drive, even though the unexpected turn of events sobered me up pretty fast. I had gone to The Relic under totally different pretenses. Instead I reunited with an old pal and her pal, inviting them back to my place. After Pepper’s ludicrous idea, I should have chatted Vivienne up and been on my way. But the rest of the guys I left at home had decided to ease their way back into life by throwing a fairly raucous party. If I’d known they were going to do that, I could have stayed there and none of this would be happening. I didn’t think about what I was doing, I just went back to Pepper and Vivienne and asked them over like it was nothing, just like I would have when I was twenty-five. I probably should have thought about it first. I was pretty shocked at how easily I was slipping back into my old ways.

  I stole glances at Vivienne from time to time. She looked on edge. She cracked her knuckles and her right knee bounced up and down faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

  “Why so nervous?” I asked, trying to sound calm and assuring, hoping she didn’t catch me ogling.

  “I’m not nervous.” Her voice cracked with the fast answer. Pepper elbowed her and I turned to look out the window so they wouldn’t see me grin. She just wasn’t going to give up, that Pepper. When she dropped the idea of a hookup on me at the bar, it was shocking and I probably acted more offended than I had a right to. I was no saint, but now I was pretty amused by the thought. I had overheard the two of them talking about reliving their youth, acting young again, so I chalked the whole thing up to a couple of women playing a modern day version of Truth or Dare. But the truth was, I wasn’t up for the dare.

  In spite of what I told Pepper, I was still stinging over the whole Lucy thing. That girl took advantage of me in the worst way for a long time. I was still as angry with myself, as with her, for not facing it sooner. Deep down, I had known things were wrong with Lucy, but my ego didn’t listen. How would I ever know if a woman liked me for me and not the money and fame? With my completely recognizable mug, how the hell was I supposed to meet nice, normal women? Lucy did a number on me and I didn’t know when I would ever trust again.

  I knew at some point I would, though. History dictated that I always did. But once I’d finally gotten rid of Lucy, I made a concerted effort to stay away from women. Even one-night stands. I couldn’t admit that to Pepper, or else I’d have gotten the standard lecture from her, the one where she would badger me not to let one bad apple ruin the bunch and how I should get right back out there until I found “the one.” So I told her that her friend was just cute, hoping she would back off.

  The truth was I thought Vivienne was hot as hell. I usually went for the tall, anorexic blond because that’s what guys in bands did. It was easy. There was no pressure. Vivienne was the polar opposite. Short and curvy with red hair, and the most incredible rack I’d ever seen. I noticed her at the bar because of it, and the chauvinist in me credited it for why I agreed to go talk to her. But there was so much more to her than her body. Vivienne was whip-smart, with a grace and sophistication I wasn’t used to. She didn’t stare at me with google eyes like most women did. She was more interested in me as a person than Will Foster of Static Neverland. As unwilling as I was to admit it, Vivienne intrigued me.

  I mentally cursed myself again for even inviting them back to the house. I knew Pepper had gotten the wrong impression. But it was too late now. I couldn’t exactly toss them out of the car by the side of the road.

  I told myself, over and over, I was just going to be a good host and the perfect gentleman.

  Chapter 10

  Pepper tried to make me slam my almost untouched drink before leaving the bar. When she wasn’t looking, I “accidentally” spilled it all over the table. She gave me the stink eye and I gave her my best innocent doe eyes. Shaking her head, Pepper pulled me from the bar as we followed Will outside.

  He took us to a huge house in the Hollywood Hills, glowing with light from every window. Loud music was thumping from inside. I didn’t recognize it, but it had a jazzy, bluesy feel and, somehow, it relaxed me. I even started to get a little excited.

  “So this is the new place!” Pepper gazed out the window at the sprawling, ranch-style house in appreciation.

  “Yep.” Will paid for the cab in spite of my protests, and we eased out onto the sidewalk. The driveway was filled with cars and every spot was filled up along the street and down the block for as far as I could see. I was a little overwhelmed and very much impressed. It was well landscaped on the outside and reminded me of the homes along Lakeshore Drive back in Michigan, but not ostentatious and overdone like the mansion on Mulholland Drive earlier that night.

  “It’s huge!” I was unable to hide my awe. “All this for just one person?”

  “Not exactly.” Will led us up the front pathway paved with bluish-gray slate. “The whole band lives here. We bought it together because we’re together all the time, anyway.”

  Before Will could open the wide, oak double doors for us, both doors swung inward and crashed against the walls of the entryway.

  “Welcome! Welcome!” shouted the man who greeted us. A bottle of whiskey sloshed in his right hand as he gesticulated. He wore a pair of ratty cutoff jeans and nothing else. He had long, blond hair that was mussed up in all the right places to give him the look of a teenage boy throwing a house party while his parents were out of town.

  “Easy, bud.” Will chuckled. “I brought a couple of friends.”

  “I see this!” His words were slurred. “All beautiful ladies are welcome! Come on in and find yourself a drink!”

  I grew uncomfortable and tried not to squirm when he stared at me for too long. Then his gaze was drawn to Pepper like a moth to flame.

  “Hey, Billy,” Pepper purred. “Don’t you remember me?”

  “Of course, baby!” His voice lowered to a sexy growl. His eyes brightened at the tall, sun-kissed blond. He reached to grab her around the waist, pulling her close. “Pepper, my love!” Planting a loud kiss on his cheek, Pepper laughed and put her arm around his waist. They led the way inside, perfectly in step.

  “That was Billy Stern, the bass player.” Will touched my elbow lightly and invited me in.

  The first thing he did was introduce me to ten or fifteen people lining the entry way of the house. I nodded and smiled, saying my hellos. I don’t think I caught a single name or heard anything more than “Hi,” “How’s it goin’,” or “Hey,” but the vibe I got back was friendly and warm. When we got past the vestibule, the house opened up into a huge living area with vaulted ceilings. There were five leather couches strategically placed around a giant glass and stone coffee table. At least thirty people were standing around and seated, drinking wine and beer, and comfortably enjoying their conversations, even if they had to speak over the music coming from the back of the house. What I noticed above all else was that the people in the room were of varying ages. It wasn’t filled with only thirty-somethings. There were some guys who looked to be bar
ely legal to drink, talking about guitars as they passed one back and forth amongst themselves. I noticed two couples in front of the fireplace who looked like they might have been in their fifties or sixties. The only evidence I had to go on was the lack of apparent plastic surgery and graying hair. Their conversation was animated and I think about politics, because one of the men made a disparaging remark about the current president and the other man smacked his forehead with his hand. The perfect mixture of laughter and easy dialogue was a kind of music of its own, competing with the sound coming from the other side of the house.

  The song from the other room ended abruptly, giving Will the perfect opportunity to shout out to the crowd. The response was raised glasses and shouts of “Will!” I snickered inwardly, instantly reminded of the old TV show Cheers. He smirked down at me, and then the band revved up again. Once again, the house was filled with music.

  “This is Vivienne!” he called out. “Vivienne, this is everyone!”

  I grinned, then waived my hand in a sweeping motion. Glasses and bottles were raised, along with nods of recognition, from most. Will guided me toward the back of the room and into the kitchen. Billy may have been drunker than a skunk, but the rest of the partygoers I encountered seemed to be holding their liquor much better. This did wonders for my own mood of nervous excitement as I relaxed and let myself feel comfortable. Will excused Billy’s behavior as decompression from getting off the road from the long tour. I accepted that without question, trying to imagine what a year away from home would be like. I couldn’t. The couple of simple jaunts I’d made for book appearances wiped me out. Being on a bus or a plane for a year would have killed me. I wasn’t the type to leave my own bed and pillow for any length of time.

  “Sorry I had to introduce you like that.” Will leaned down to speak into my right ear. “It’s the only way into the kitchen and I didn’t want to get stopped.”

  “No worries.”

  “Good. Come on!”

  As we stepped into the obviously brand new, gourmet kitchen, with all its high-end appliances and finishes, I counted another dozen people. A couple of pretty, blond girls were perched on the counters. A few guys were surrounding them, hanging on their every word. Some people were leaning against the large island, peering into the family room, watching the band play.

  Will led me to the stainless steel refrigerator, ignoring the people in the room. I wondered if he even knew any of them. They looked very young and nervous, as if they were wondering when they would be discovered as party crashers and asked to leave. I had a bit of sympathy for them, because Pepper and I had crashed our own fair share of parties. I’m sure we’d had the same expressions on our faces.

  “Drink or beer?” Will half shouted. I mouthed the word beer and nodded for him to select one even though I had no intention of drinking it. It would make a good prop. I was astounded to notice the fridge not only contained a large stock of many brands of beer, but real food as well. It surprised me to think of a band of musicians living in a house and having actual food instead of all alcohol. I rolled my eyes mentally at the dowdy thought, but couldn’t keep the real frown off my face. Pepper was right. When had I become such an old lady?

  “You okay?” Will asked, peering at my face.

  “Yes! I’m fine.” Instantly, I replaced the sour look with a smile. I touched his elbow reassuringly.

  Off the kitchen was a huge family room covering more square footage than my entire house in Michigan. In front of the marble-tiled fireplace, there were microphones, amplifiers, and a drum set and people were playing and singing. Comfy looking furniture in various shades of earth tones normally filled the room, I imagined, but now it was all pushed up against the walls. A massive modern glass chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting the whole room in warm light. It had a polished, chrome-plated steel rod and the arms extended out in wide swirls and curls. The bowls cradling the light bulbs were of the same chrome-plated steel. The floors were dark hardwood with an expansive area rug in the center of the room. It accented things perfectly with its color-blocked squares in red, brown, blue and green. At least fifty people filled the room, as though it were a small concert hall. Most had drinks in their hands and stood clumped together in small groups of three or four in front of the makeshift stage.

  Will checked his watch, then waited for the song to end. When it did, he left me leaning against the island to weave in and out of the people in the room to the guys who had been having the impromptu jam session. I don’t know what he said, but the volume of the music decreased dramatically. The general tone in the room relaxed and quieted down. He returned to my side and offered his beer bottle in a mock toast. Grinning, I clinked his with mine.

  “We just moved in a few weeks ago. The guys and I try to make sure the music and partying doesn’t go past midnight so we don’t piss off the neighbors.”

  “Wise move. It didn’t look like you have a lot of neighbors close by, though.”

  “No, but you have no idea how loud musicians can get when they’re beered up.”

  I laughed, but disagreed.

  “Oh, I think I do. Pepper and I hung out with all the bands when we were teenagers. I guess I thought that as musicians aged, they matured a little.”

  “Uh, no. Not always,” Will admitted, shuffling his feet back and forth and turning his head. Just then, a man approached us and slung an arm around Will’s shoulders.

  “Who’s your friend?” he drawled, the bangs of his long brown hair falling across his blue eyes. He was tall like Will, skinnier than Pepper, and eyed me like I was a tasty snack. I was flattered and discomfited at the same time.

  “Tim, this is Vivienne Stark. Vivienne, this is Tim Walters, my oldest friend.”

  “How do you do,” I whispered. He grasped my hand firmly, stepping closer. I tried to move backward, but the island held me prisoner. He was as handsome as the devil, but came on much too strong for me. Will put a hand on his chest and pushed him away so he could put out his fist for a bump. Tim’s gaze left me and he stared at Will’s fist for a half second before returning the bump.

  “Nice to meetcha, Vivienne.” Tim’s eyes were fixed on mine again.

  Will shuffled the slightest bit nearer to me. Tim cocked his head to the side, shaking his shaggy hair.

  “Come sing with us, Will.” He tried to pull Will toward a microphone across the room.

  “Nah.” Will shook his head in protest.

  “Come on, man, just one song.” Tim tugged a little harder.

  Will looked at me for help, but I was none.

  “Go ahead. It’ll be like my own private concert.” I nodded encouragement and Will exhaled, allowing Tim to lead him away. Waiting a moment or two, I zigzagged through the room and found the arm of a large chair vacant. The girl sitting in the chair encouraged me to share, so I did.

  Will grabbed a guitar and his band mates launched into one of their radio hits I actually recognized. I started singing along and moving my shoulders to the beat. It was fun to see Will perform and watch all the people at the party enjoying themselves. I had to believe he put just as much effort into the performance in his home as he would have if on a big stage in front of thousands of people.

  Pepper arrived beside me and she hugged me into her hip. Leaning down to speak, I turned my face to hers.

  “Didn’t I tell you this would be great?” I smelled pot and almost fell off the arm of the chair when laughter overtook me. Having no control, she joined me and we tried to hide our snickers behind our hands so that no one would notice. It didn’t work. Will kept looking at us like we’d grown third eyes in our foreheads. When the first song ended and the next began, Pepper pulled me up toward a set of large French doors I hadn’t noticed. They were half blocked off by one of the couches. The doors opened up to a spacious deck running along the entire backside of the house. The sound of crickets chirping and cicadas singing was peaceful and soothing. Their song seemed in tandem with the beat from the music inside, which was
greatly muted by the closed doors.

  “Isn’t this gorgeous?” she said in wonderment, deeply breathing in the night air.

  “Oh yeah.” I was thinking maybe I was wrong to live so frugally. Maybe it would be nice to get a big fancy place with a view like this. Or of the ocean. Then I remembered the foundation and how much money I owed it. Fantasies of where I could live disappeared, replaced by a blanket of guilt. And the smell of pot again. Pepper bumped my arm holding out a lit joint to me.

  I put my hands up.

  “Uh-uh. You got me here, and you got two extra drinks in me. I can’t.”

  “One drink, and a measly half a beer that you won’t even finish. Come on, Viv. Just a couple of hits. It’ll relax you,” she coaxed.

  I was suddenly assaulted by memories of all the parties we went to in high school and all the bands we’d been friends with. I recalled how free we were. How our lives seemed to stretch out before us. How we hadn’t stopped to think of consequences, but lived for the moment. Now I was almost forty and my life was half over. I cringed with how old I felt inside.

  Pepper grinned as I thrust my hand out to take the joint. Closing my lips around the tip, I sucked and inhaled deeply. Holding it for as long as I could, I finally exhaled in small bursts, shocked that I didn’t cough up a lung.

  “Ha! Old habits die hard, I see!” Pepper accused. “You haven’t lost the touch. Have you been practicing on the sly?”

  “It’s a gift.”

  “Of which you have many,” Pepper giggled.

  After a little while, we noticed the live music had stopped, replaced by an iPod mix floating out of the speakers mounted on the side of the house. It was just loud enough to notice, but it didn’t overwhelm the natural sounds outside. When Will sidled up beside Pepper, the smile I gave him was as warm as the sun had been on my face at the pool.

  Good grief, was that really earlier today?