The Widow and the Rock Star

by J. Thomas-Like

  She was up and out of that chair like someone had stuck her with a pin. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen and glared at me.

  “Now why on Earth would I go back when you still have so much to do?”

  “Because I can handle it myself now. You’ve done everything you’re supposed to. You need to be with Gabriel.” I chugged some more water and avoided looking her in the eye. I knew she didn’t trust me just yet, but she couldn’t hang around forever watching over me. I loved her with all my heart, but I couldn’t ask her to stay any longer now that the worst, I hoped, was over.

  “I call bullshit.” Pepper slammed her hands on her hips and flounced over to me. “There are still tough times ahead, and I don’t plan on leaving until it’s all done.” She poked me in the chest with her index finger and I looked up into her crystal blue eyes. She wasn’t done with me yet. I could sense she was going to say something else. I had a sinking feeling I knew what it was.

  *****

  “Besides,” Pepper continued, “I fully expect you to come with me.” She watched with a combination of excitement and fear as realization spread over Vivienne’s face.

  “I knew you were going to say that.” Vivienne raised her water for another sip, but stopped at the last minute and put the bottle on the counter. “You know I can’t do that.”

  “I don’t know anything of the kind,” Pepper huffed, angry that her friend’s response was immediate, and therefore reeked of forethought. Dammit, she’s been thinking about this already. I’m in for a fight.

  Pepper didn’t care how much of an argument Vivienne intended to put up. Come hell or high water, she wasn’t leaving her best friend alone in Michigan without family and no true friends.

  “You made a promise to me. You swore you were going to give California a try. And now that you don’t have anything tying you down, you have no valid excuse to break that promise.” Pepper felt triumphant that she got her point across first before Vivienne could.

  “I have plenty tying me down. I have to go through Mom’s things. I need to sell the house, her car. I have to find someone to get the foundation back up and running. All of that is going to take months.”

  “And after that?” Pepper waited only a moment for an answer before plunging ahead. “When all that’s finished, what excuse will you have?”

  Vivienne floundered, opening and closing her mouth, trying to form some words. Pepper kept her from doing it.

  “You won’t have one. But by then, you’ll be back to your hermit ways and I won’t be able to blow your ass out of here with a stick of dynamite. Is that it?”

  Vivienne’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

  “This is my home,” she whispered. “I belong here.”

  “Why? If your parents are gone, what’s to keep you?” Pepper demanded, her heart jumping around in her chest like a jackrabbit. “You don’t even have to stay for all that other bullshit. You get an estate sale company to empty the house. You get a real estate agent to sell the house. And you sure as hell can find someone out in California to run your damn foundation!”

  Vivienne shrunk away from Pepper, but Pepper didn’t feel bad about it.

  “I think you don’t want to go because then you wouldn’t have to face Will.”

  “That’s not true!” Vivienne objected, but not as strongly as Pepper expected.

  “I think it is. If you wait long enough, he’ll move on and then you can say, ‘Oh well, he dumped me, just like I knew he would.’ And then you’ll mourn the loss of the only other man you’ve ever loved and spend the rest of your life hiding again! Well I’m not going to let you do that. If I have to stay here for the next five years hounding your ass, I will do it!”

  Pepper stormed out of the kitchen before she said anything more she would regret. She knew she was taking a huge risk pushing Vivienne so hard so soon after her breakthrough. But, instinctively, she felt time growing short. Will wasn’t responding to her texts as quickly anymore, and he’d stopped asking to come to Michigan for a visit. Pepper naturally assumed Will was getting over Vivienne and if she didn’t act quickly to bring them back together, he would go back to his blonde Barbie bimbos. Why else would he be pulling away?

  Pacing in the spare bedroom, Pepper gnawed on her thumb, trying to decide what to do. Finally, she grabbed her cell phone off the nightstand and shot a text to Will.

  Hey… u there?

  She set the phone back down so she wouldn’t stare at it, trying to will a response. Heh, no pun intended, she thought.

  “Maybe I could have Gabriel lure her out there under some pretense for the movie,” Pepper muttered under her breath. “Jake might be able to badger her out there.”

  Pepper continued to pace and talk to herself, avoiding what was really bothering her the most. The fact that she, Vivienne’s best friend, wasn’t the one who could talk the redhead into going back to California. It hurt inside to think Vivienne didn’t want to be with her. Well, so be it. If she had to resort to using trickery and underhandedness, she would do it. In the end, Pepper knew that Vivienne would forgive her anything, especially if Vivienne ended up happy.

  As she was striding in the opposite direction of her phone, it vibrated on the table and she dashed back to it. Will had texted her back.

  Whats up

  Pepper’s thumbs were a blur.

  Havent heard back from u in a bit. Everything okay?

  She waited patiently as she could, staring at the phone.

  Yep. Hows V

  “Yes!” Pepper pumped her fist in the air joyfully.

  A lot better.

  Excellent!

  Pepper bounced up and down on the bed, giddy with hope.

  I think she misses you.

  Pepper held her breath, praying she was doing the right thing. She stared at the screen, hoping he would respond quickly.

  Yeah?

  Pepper’s stomach clenched with anxiety. That’s not good. She was hoping he would have said he missed her too, or asked if he could come for a visit. She felt herself getting more and more pissed off and worried by his lack of enthusiasm, when her phone vibrated in her hand. Reading the message, her whole body relaxed and a wave of happiness washed over her.

  Miss her 2

  Pepper jumped up and did a little dance around the room.

  Working on getting her back to LA. Keep you posted

  Do that, came back within seconds.

  She needed to think about how next to proceed. This wasn’t a situation where she could just come up with a plan on the fly, like the night she introduced Will and Vivienne at The Relic. Pepper knew she needed a clear-cut strategy with no room for error. Her thumb automatically found its way to her mouth and she chewed on the edges while she contemplated how she could convince Vivienne to go back to California. Now that she knew Will was still waiting for her, Pepper’s mind was racing with the possibilities.

  The knock on her door completely derailed her train of thought.

  Chapter 57

  I stood outside the bedroom door for a good three minutes before I finally knocked. Part of me was furious with Pepper for pushing me so hard, but my logical brain knew it was the right thing for her to do. She was totally right in all of her assumptions. I was using mom’s death as an excuse to stay in Michigan and avoid Will. I had been on the verge of making some huge changes in my life before I had to rush back home. Now, I was back in my safe zone and struggling to decide whether to stay there or jump back out. I was disappointed with myself for finding it so easy to resort to old habits. But I also knew I was stronger and feeling more capable of breaking them.

  I threw my shoulders back and rapped on the door.

  “Come in.”

  I opened the door and stepped into the room. Pepper was sitting on the bed, her cell phone in hand.

  “Can we talk?” I gave her a hopeful smile. When she smiled back, I knew it was all going to be okay, no matter what we said.

  “Of course.” Pepper tossed her phone onto
the table. “I’m sorry I was so harsh, Vivvy.”

  I walked over to the bed and sat down beside her.

  “It’s okay. I’m not mad. You had every right to say the things you said. They’re all true. I’m the one who owes you an apology. I should know better than to even try to lie to you.”

  Pepper chuckled and threw her arm around my shoulders and I completed the hug.

  “Yes. You should know better,” she said into my ear. Pulling away, she gave me the stink eye. “But I get it. Old habits die hard.”

  “Yes. They do.” I nodded my head. “So I had an idea on how we might be able to kill them off.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Let’s start with Mom’s ashes.”

  Pepper’s look of shock made me laugh out loud.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I want to take Mom’s ashes to the park and scatter them in the lake, like we did with Dad.” I could remember, clearly, the nasty cold day Mom and I had walked to the park near our houses with Dad’s ashes in the black plastic box. Fighting the wind coming off Lake St. Clair, we’d trudged along the walking path to the edge of the lake. We’d said a few words, wiped our eyes and noses, and then dumped the box into the lake. Dad had loved fishing and boating, and it was what we thought he would want. Now, I wanted to do the same thing with Mom. Maybe she might have wanted to be sprinkled in London (one of her favorite spots) or maybe she might have wanted to be with her parents in Minnesota, but I wasn’t sure. We’d never talked about it. But in my heart, I felt she belonged with Dad.

  “Are you sure you’re ready to do that?” Pepper asked gently.

  I nodded.

  “Yes. I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday.”

  Pepper reached for my hand and held it tight.

  “If you’re sure, then I’d like to be there with you.”

  “Of course!” I wanted to cry, but I laughed instead. “Mom always called you her second daughter. You should be there.”

  “I’d be honored.” Pepper brought her free hand up to dab at her eyes. “When?”

  “How about now?” I know that shocked her. I was making decisions quickly these days, and I was finding that it felt good. Instead of obsessing over things and looking at every angle of every situation, I was going with my gut for the first time in years. I liked it. I planned to keep doing it.

  “Okay!”

  “I’ll meet you on the porch in a couple of minutes.” I got up and left her room for mine. I took the box with Mom’s ashes off the table and held it to my chest for a moment.

  “I hope this is the right thing, Mom. Don’t haunt me if it’s not, okay?” I grinned and then went to meet Pepper on the porch.

  Chapter 58

  Vivienne wanted to walk to the park instead of drive, and that suited Pepper just fine. Except for the light gardening, she hadn’t had any exercise since leaving California. She wanted the workout and knew it would do her pal some good as well. Pepper was feeling hopeful that Viv was going to change her mind about going to California. She put aside her coup planning thoughts to wait and see how things would shake out.

  “I’d forgotten how pretty this park is,” Pepper sighed as they reached the entrance. Vivienne flashed her pass and they walked through. The park wasn’t overly large, only a few acres, but Pepper gawped at the perfectly manicured grass and expanse of large, tall trees offering plenty of shade. It was fairly packed with families having barbeques; the smell of grilling food was thick in the air. Groups of old men were playing shuffleboard, horseshoes and bocce ball. The playground area was jammed with kids running, yelling and playing on the swings and climbing equipment. Pepper noticed the heavily populated splash pad and lamented the fact it hadn’t existed when she was a kid growing up in St. Clair Shores. The walking path was filled with people strolling along at a leisurely pace, as well as the more serious exercise hounds with quick steps and arms pumping.

  “Yeah, I like it. Sometimes I would bring my laptop and sit and write by the water.” Vivienne side-stepped a couple of old ladies standing in the middle of the walking path. She kept the box she carried tucked under her arm and close to her body.

  “Isn’t this illegal?” Pepper whispered. Vivienne turned her head to look at her. “Throwing ashes into the lake, I mean.”

  “You bet,” Vivienne said. “But I dare anyone to stop me.”

  Pepper snorted and grinned.

  “I’d like to see that fight.”

  “If I get caught, I’ll deal with it. I don’t care. My mom belongs with my dad.” Vivienne held her head high and Pepper linked arms with her.

  “I agree. Let’s do this thing.”

  The walking path wended its way around the perimeter of the park and, within a few minutes, they stood at the edge overlooking Lake St. Clair. Pepper glanced around, wondering if the crowd was too heavy for them to scatter the ashes discreetly. Every bench facing the lake was occupied and the foot traffic was steady.

  “Come on,” Vivienne said. She pointed a few yards away to a dirt path leading down toward the rocks at the lake’s edge. Pepper followed her, hoping no one would catch on to what they were doing.

  Vivienne stepped lightly down the path and then directly onto the rocks. They looked wet and slippery to Pepper, who had worn only flip-flops for their trek.

  “Be careful, Viv.”

  “I will. You don’t have to come down here if you don’t want to.”

  “I’ll be right there.” Pepper stepped out of her flip-flops and followed Vivienne, picking her way among the flat, gray rocks carefully, her arms flung out for balance. When they both got as close to the water as they could, without pitching in headfirst, they crouched down and Vivienne placed the box in front of her. She pried open the top, and inside was a plastic bag with Olivia Forest’s cremains. Vivienne pulled the bag out and opened the twisty tie that sealed the bag.

  Holding it carefully, Pepper heard her friend sniff. That got her eyes to watering, too, as she watched Vivienne struggle for the right words.

  “I know you’re already with Dad,” Vivienne said, after a few silent moments, “but now you can be fish food, too.”

  Pepper clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle the bark of laughter trying to burst out.

  “Vivienne!”

  “Well? That’s what Mom always said after we turned Dad loose.” Vivienne’s face was slick with tears, but she was grinning and there was a gleam in her eye. “Come on, help me.”

  Pepper reached over and, together, they upended the bag and let the ashes dump out into the waves lapping against the rocks. Vivienne crumpled the empty plastic back into the box and replaced the top. They stayed where they were for a long time, watching the water carry the remnants of Olivia’s body out into the lake.

  Chapter 59

  The day after I scattered Mom’s ashes, Pepper and I went to her house to begin the process of clearing things out. I’d decided to take Pepper’s advice and hire an estate sale company to handle selling anything I didn’t want to keep and when that was done, I would find a real estate agent who could manage the sale of the house itself.

  “So how do we do this?” Pepper asked, standing in the foyer of Mom’s home. “How much are you keeping?”

  I chewed on my bottom lip and looked around. “I don’t know, really. It’s kind of hard because I feel guilty letting stuff go, but we had totally different tastes. I’m not sure I want to keep much of it.”

  “Where will you put anything? Your house is pretty small. Maybe you should think about keeping this place and selling your house?” Pepper suggested.

  I shook my head.

  “No. This house is too big for just me.” I took a few steps into the living room to glance around. A knot of sadness twisted around my heart, knowing Mom wasn’t going to be sitting in her favorite chair again.

  “Besides,” I called back to Pepper and turned around to look her in the eye. “I don’t know how big of a place I’ll be able to afford in California, after all.�
��

  Pepper screeched with delight and barreled into me like a freight train, hugging me tight and lifting me in the air a couple of inches.

  “You’re going to do it? Really?”

  Grinning like a buffoon, I nodded. “Eventually. I might divide my time between states until this place sells. Then, I’ll come back and deal with my own house.”

  I couldn’t have been more stunned by anything else when Pepper burst into tears.

  “Hey! I’m the crier, here, what’s wrong?” I grabbed her hands and pulled her close. She leaned down to press her forehead against mine for a second.

  “I’m just so damn happy, Viv. Not only for you, but for me. I’ll finally have a real friend in California!”

  We hugged again and then she danced me around in circles.

  “Just think of all the shopping we’ll do and the places I’ll show you. You’re going to love it. I can help you house hunt and help you decorate.” On and on she blathered, and it was the perfect balm to the grief still singeing my soul.

  Chapter 60

  Three weeks later, a six-pack of beer weighted down my right hand and a bag of munchies hung from the wrist on my left arm. Reaching up to knock, I took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. I rapped my knuckles on the oak surface with force and confidence, hoping the sweat forming under my arms wouldn’t turn into a river. I had not been this nervous in a long time.

  When Will opened the door, I’ll never forget the look on his face as long as I live. The mixture of elation, relief, shock and lust in his green eyes was more precious to me than any material thing I could have been given. He looked tremendously handsome in a pair of jeans and nothing else, the familiar five o’clock shadow stark on his cheeks, and his dark brown hair a rumpled mess. I wanted to rush him because, until I saw his face, I hadn’t realized how much I missed him. But I held back and tried to start the conversation off right.