Never A Choice (The Choices Trilogy (Book 1))

by Palmer, Dee

  “Oh Daniel darling that’s so sweet, but I have my driver.” She looks over to a Range Rover with a hulk of an ape standing by the front door. Hair cropped so short, he looks bald, no neck to speak of and scary huge muscles fighting to escape his pale, ill fitted grey suit. She walks over with an exaggerated sway in her hips and grabs Daniels’ arms, squeezing them in a slow massage of his muscle. “I am just so happy to remember.” A small tear trickles down her cheek for effect. She turns to me, my teeth are so clenched I think the enamel may crack. “Bethany . . . Boo.” I swallow my cry as she infects my nick name with her vile voice. “I forgive you, I forgive you for giving up ever finding me.” My fists curls and my nails bite my skin. She leans in but must notice my eyes because she hovers mid-air for a cheek kiss. She leans closer and with more success kisses Daniel’s cheek, before she turns to leave. Daniel opens my door and I slide in, I’m looking down on myself because that was definitely an out of body experience. I don’t know how to react, because I don’t know what she wants but as I look at my reflection in the windscreen and then across at the handsome, kind and brilliant man beside me I start to laugh. Not so much that I need sedating but enough to cause a look of concern on his beautiful face.

  “Hey baby.” He squeezes my leg and sends a rush of shivers over my skin. “Why didn’t you speak at the ceremony, I thought you wanted to say a few words?” His deep voice is laced with worry.

  “I did, but then it didn’t feel right sharing. I think what I wanted to say I had said already.” I don’t want him to think I will have regrets about today. I am sure I will have regrets about today but I am yet to know what they will be.

  “You have a sister then? When did she go missing?” He sounds hesitant and I know it’s because he is waiting for me to share.

  “When I was seventeen.” I don’t want to share, not until I know what she wants.

  “Was it easier to pretend you didn’t have a sister than accept what might’ve happened. I just don’t understand why you would say you didn’t have one; why you would stop looking for her?” He can’t hide how disturbed he is. How did I know I would end up the bad guy in this scenario? I can’t bear the thought of him looking at me like I would be capable of walking away like that and I can’t bear the look of pity he would have if I told him the truth. I sniff and shudder a little, I can feel her effects working in me and the distance in the car that wasn’t there on the journey here. “I’m sorry baby, you know what, it doesn’t matter, nothing in the past matters. All that matters is she’s found you and you’re not alone, I won’t like sharing you but it’s important to have family.”

  “I have a family.” I whisper to myself, a sadness overwhelming me once more.

  “She didn’t ask for your number, how is she going to contact you?” He muses but I know why.

  “She has yours I take it?” His face impassive at my query.

  “Yes, and I will give her yours.” He reassures me with a sweet smile.

  I leave it at that. I have a library full of snide comments which will do nothing other than paint me as a bitter bitch and further widen this unstoppable distance.

  The day room is bright and I have been hugged and squeezed by the people I love and I am thankful Kit didn’t follow us here. Sofia takes me to one side. “What the fuck does she want now? A little late to be claiming the dutiful sister and doting daughter role. God I’m so mad. I wanted to punch the botox right out of her wrinkles.” I can’t quite manage to snicker. “Dad was really mad too. You know I had to hold him back, told him you’d be devastated if he caused a scene.” I can feel her rage because it almost mirrors mine, almost.

  “Thank you honey, I would’ve been mortified. I am pissed she’s made today about her. Her and her happy reunion.” I put my fingers to my temples and try to massage the pressure away.

  “Do you know what she wants?” Her brow furrows but I quickly ease her contemplation.

  “I wish I didn’t.” I look across the room to the most amazing man on the planet, smile at the reaction he incites in my body with his presence. “But I’ve got a pretty good idea.” I raise my eyebrows in Daniels direction. “She won him in the Batchelor Charity Auction. I saw her that night, he was her date. She must have seen me that night or more importantly seen me with Daniel.”

  “But she can’t have him, he’s with you!” Sofia is righteously indignant.

  “Not his type either, but that won’t stop her. Besides Daniel thinks she’s tragically sad and that I’m a bitch for giving up looking for her and pretending she didn’t exist.” I raise my own brow at the irony.

  “He did not just say that!” She gasps in shock.

  “Not in so many words, but it was there in his eyes. I’m not going to humiliate myself clinging to a sinking ship Sofs. But I need to know what she has to support her story before I can say anything. The only person that could verify my life just died. I know what she wants but I need to know what she is prepared to do to get it. I am still dealing with the ‘Krazy-Kit’ I know; not the sad widow Kassandra that has Daniel in her well-manicured claw.”

  I sink back into the deep jasmine scented bubble bath, the hot water engulfing me to my neck. I hold my breath and sink below the surface, allowing my body to float and bob. I slowly release my breath in tiny flowing bubbles which escape the tiniest gap in my lips, trying to remain under the surface as long as my lungs will allow. It’s strangely relaxing hovering on the brink of desperation for air. I start to feel the burn and I try to find my footing on the slippery bath bed when I am yanked with brutal force, lifting me clear of the water and hard against Daniels chest.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” He shouts as I squeeze the bath water from my eyes and take in some deeper breaths. His clothes are drenched by me and he is still holding me naked in his arms. My covering of soapy bubbles sliding gracefully down my slippery wet body.

  “Having a bath?” He has a look of utter relief and I have no idea why. “Sorry I didn’t realise I needed permission. Wait! What did you think I was doing?” He places me on my feet and sweeps my wet hair from my face. His lips cover mine with a desperate hunger, his tongue frantic to taste me, he moans into my open mouth as I willing accept his demanding possession of my mouth. He pulls back and sighs heavily. I shiver from my rapid removal from my lovely bath and he holds me again but his clothes are soaked and cold so my body continues to shake. “Can I get back in? I’m shivering if you hadn’t noticed?”

  “I thought it was me that made you tremble?” His voice is soft.

  “Oh you do Mr Stone.” I reach up on my tip toe and slowly lick the tip of my tongue along his lips. “You make me tremble, you make me moan and you make me scream but best of all you make me come.” My voice is breathy with desire but I pull back, “and in this instance you make me shiver?” I turn to step back in the bath and he slaps my butt, the sound and sting louder because my skin is wet. “Ow! Planning on joining me or are you just going to taunt me with that all night?” I am staring unashamedly at the large bulge in his now damp trousers. My smile a wicked invitation.

  “I thought we should talk.” He begins to remove his wet clothes and my grin widens, God I hope he means talk, after. His skin shimmers from the moisture soaked through from his clothes and it only enhances the definition of the curve of his muscled arms. The flex of his chest as he strips each garment from his body and his lean frame every inch a perfect male. He may want to talk but his cock is most definitely on my side, hard, bobbing under its own weight, thick and heavy. He cups himself and I whimper, he narrows his gaze; looking at me as I’m looking at his tight grip. “Dammit!” He steps forward and abruptly pushes behind me sending the suddenly risen water spilling over the edge and flooding the floor. I push back into him and arch my back as he roughly grabs my breasts, pumping and rolling my hard nipples between his wet finger and thumbs, pulling and pinching. He sinks his teeth into my exposed neck and sucks wildly, biting and bruising the soft tissue. He wraps his arm around my waist a
nd slides his fingers through my slick hot folds and I instantly shiver from toe to tip. My breath rapid and my core on fire, he sinks two fingers inside and curls around inside, rubbing and stroking sweet sensitive spots. My body responds, contracting, twitching and I gasp for more air.

  “Fuck baby, I can’t say no to you. I want you all the time, you’re mine. Understand?” His rhetorical question more a guttural plea.

  “Yes.” I’m panting and I’ll say anything but like being drunk, I’m still aware I’m saying the words I mean. I just have no reservations about saying them when I’m seconds from a screaming orgasm.

  “Mine, you aren’t going anywhere understand? You are mine, say it Bethany!” He growls in my ear and pushes deeper and I fall. My hips are jerking, my head falls against his chest, my skin flushed with prickles. He stills before he slides his fingers out of me and brings them to his lips and sucks and hums his pleasure. I slip around to lie flat on his front, his hard erection sandwiched between our warm wet bodies. I push myself up on to my knees and hover as I take his thick smooth shaft in my tight fist and rub the wide head along my cleft, sinking slightly as he reaches my entrance, I hover again. I need to see his eyes, see his need, his desire.

  “Fuck, Bethany you’re killing me!” He grabs my hips and applies enough pressure to move me further on to him. “Ahh yes baby, it’s been too long, I can’t wait any longer.” He tilts his hips and thrusts while pushing hard on my shoulders and I sink further, deeper. ”You’re so tight baby, I don’t want to hurt you.” He eases on the pressure on my shoulders and it drives me insane, I want him, all of him, pain and all and I lift and sink hard, tilting my hips to take all of his massive length. I stifle a scream. “Fuck! Fuck!” He sits up and wraps his arms around me securing his hands on my shoulders to prevent the same move again. I look into his eyes, deep with desire, deep with love and I can’t fight the tears that escape the corners of my eyes. He is buried so deep, his cock twitches and I contract in appreciation, our breathing is synchronised.

  “I love you, Daniel.” I am not in the throes of passion I’m in the arms of the man I love. “Don’t hold back on me, I want all of you.” I breathe these words out slowly because I feel the incredible sweet pain of the tip of him against the end of me.

  “Wrap your legs around me baby, I’m going to need a hard surface to give you what you need.” His eyes are alight with lust. He lifts both our bodies from the bath and I grip, impaled and tight against him. He swings me against the cold tiled wall and I let out a cry as he surges forward, deeper. “Deep enough?” He grinds into me and takes my breath away.

  “Deeper, all of you Daniel, ahh!” I cry out and struggle to give him the words between my ragged breaths. He hooks my leg over the crook of his arms and lifts it pressing my thigh closer to the wall, stepping into each thrust, plunging into my core. My orgasm started as he lifted my leg and I scream at the first wave of body wracking convulsions that start in my core and spread, tingling and pulsing through every nerve like I’m on fire from within. He lunges as I tilt and scream and sink my teeth hard into his pectoral at the pain as he comes deep, hard with long plunging strokes of his delicious cock. I am trembling uncontrollably, flushed and quaking.

  “Fuck!” His hot breath gushes out into my hair and he kisses the top of my head, all the while still slowly pumping the very last of him into me. He holds my face and his tender smile is tinged with a sadness I don’t understand but I get a flash chill that has nothing to do with our recent intimate exchange. “I love you, but I won’t tell you when we’re fucking, just in case you think I don’t mean it, understand?”

  “Yes.” I am curious why he keeps needing me to confirm I understand, maybe it’s just we are both new to relationships and he doesn’t want any misunderstandings but it feels a lot like being treated like a child. “So what did you want to talk about?”

  “Put your robe on, we’ve got company.” He withdraws from me and I feel more than the physical loss.

  “What? Fuck Daniel, now I’m really embarrassed. There is no way whoever it is doesn’t know exactly what we’ve been doing!” My hands slap my blushing cheeks in horror.

  “So?”

  “God! Arghhhh!” I wrap the silk robe tightly around my waist and walk out to the living room. I plan on getting changed but should at least say hello first. I skid in my bare feet because Kit is sitting in the lounge with a glass of champagne in her hand; she has a tight smile when she spots me. Her face changes and I guess that is the result of the footsteps behind me. Daniel squeezes my shoulder and tenderly kisses my neck.

  “It’s alright baby, come on.” He takes my hand walks toward the sofa and pulls me onto his lap; an extremely intimate position given my state of undress but he is entirely comfortable and my discomfort has nothing to do with what I’m wearing. “You know it’s been over a week since the funeral baby, and I thought; I hoped you would have contacted your sister, you know, I’m worried about you. We’re worried about you.” I stiffen at this. “Kassandra came to me and asked for my help.”

  “It takes two to communicate Daniel?” I don’t point out the obvious that she could contact me any fucking time she wanted to.

  “Baby, she’s hurt, she doesn’t understand why you stopped looking for her, I don’t understand but that’s not important. She’s frightened you’re going to reject her.”

  “Sorry, sorry,” I stutter “Kit, Kassandra, you’re afraid of me?”

  “Bethany, I forgive you but, I just feel so lost. In the space of a week I’ve lost my mother and found a sister who didn’t want to find me. I’m feeling a little vulnerable and I know you don’t handle grief well I just didn’t want to let you slip through my fingers now that I’ve found you.” She sobs into her pristine handkerchief. Wow! She is outstanding.

  “We’re not going to let that happen.” Daniels’ soft kiss on my cheek makes me start,

  “What do you mean, I don’t handle grief well? How would you know if you don’t remember?” My voice is tetchy and the volume is steadily rising, not helping my position if I want to maintain control of this wildly spiralling reality.

  “Daniel and I had lunch today at The Ivy.” I feel Daniel shift a little, “and I told him some things I remember now. When you were younger, you were in a very dark place one time, and we were worried that you might, well . . .” She leaves the sentence hanging, its understanding implicit. My head is spinning. “It was the time your little friend had his accident.” I stand and scowl pure hatred. I hope my feelings aren’t left ‘hanging’ subject to interpretation.

  “You don’t get to speak about him.” I lean in with a menace I’ve have never felt before surging through my veins. “Ever!” I pull back and swing at Daniel who looks like he is about to stand, maybe intervene. “Is that why you pulled me from the bath? You thought I’d top myself. Ha!” I spin back around to face Kit “Well don’t flatter yourself.” I hug my robe a little tighter. “Was it everything you hoped it would be sister our little reunion?” I sneer and I can see the look of mock horror on her face. Daniel, however, my heart breaks at his face, because I can’t make out if its disappointment or disgust. I leave the room to sound of her light pretty sobs telling Daniel that she had to tell him, she couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to me; after all, I’m all she’s got.

  He is sitting on the bed when I leave the en suite. My chest hurts at the slump of his shoulders. I can’t bear to see this, to see us erode before my eyes, but if she is hell bent on playing the saintly injured party I can’t see how this is going to go any way but hers.

  “Can you tell me about him.”

  Well, my reaction was crazy enough to spark some questions maybe if I can shed some light, I might not look so unhinged. “Yes, yes I can.” I take my seat opposite to him. He is leaning against the head board in his jeans and nothing else, even his bare feet look edible. “John.” Oh my, I feel a surge and lump like a rock hit my throat and instant tears prick my eyes and I fight a sob breaking
to free itself from my chest. He is on me in an instant, pulling me in to his lap curling his warm strong body around mine. Protecting me from my pain, but my pain is inside and he asked. He wants to know, he wants to see, he wants me to bleed. “Ok” I try to laugh “This might not be pretty.”

  “I’ve got you baby.” His soothing deep voice helps me tell him stories I’d not told a soul. I told him of a pure love and a friendship, I told him of our adventures. It wasn’t enough to tell him the facts, facts are cold and although true they never reveal the truth and I wanted Daniel to know the truth, I needed him to see the truth. “He told me the day he fought his brother, that it did matter what people said about me, that I shouldn’t let them lie like I was nothing.” My cheeks are so wet I can’t feel the tears anymore. “He told me I was everything and he died defending me, he died in my arms telling me the same thing.” I close my sore eyes and Daniel waits until my breathing is calm.

  “You didn’t have a reputation, I don’t understand?” His soft words filled with confusion.

  “No I didn’t have a reputation and he still died defending me. I know his last fight was defending me.” When I’m not sad about this complete waste I’m incredibly angry.

  “Well no wonder.” He sighs and kisses my hair but I stiffen and the hairs on my neck prickle.

  “No wonder what?” I calmly ask, I don’t want him backtracking. I want to know how deep Kit’s infection is after everything I’ve just told him.

  “Well no wonder baby, you were in such a state. No wonder you were in a dark place, it’s understandable, completely understandable.” He is rushing his words he must feel my tension but I’m not fighting this, my instinct here is flight.

  “That’s what you took from that? You know I’ve never told anyone what I’ve just told you but why would you believe me, I’m just an unstable sister hating bitch who should be on suicide watch. Didn’t stop you fucking the life out of me though did it?” He flinches at my harsh words and I know it was a low blow, but he needs to be hurt enough to let me go. His face is again a mixture of shock and disgust; two for two, I’m on fire and I’m going to burn for him. I hope I burn for the look of loss and pain his face is showing. This look now mirrors mine as I crawl from his lap, put my clothes on and leave.