by Jade West
I’m smiling at the thought and I savour this moment. I want to remember it forever.
I walk on the grass to save my toes, and it’s easy to pick up pace as I cross the grounds toward the river path. I flinch as grass turns back to tarmac, then flinch again as my toe scuffs a stone.
Ow.
Tonight could be really fucking painful.
In more ways than one.
I realise now that he could appear at any moment. I scan the shadows, my heart suddenly racing. Will he throw something, like last time?
Or will he just jump me and throw me to the ground.
I’m petrified and excited all at once, to the point that my heartbeat is in overdrive. Everything about this screams crazy. But I couldn’t talk my body down from this if I tried. Every single muscle is wound tight and ready to go.
I’m ready to go.
But he said to walk slowly, so I do. I walk as slowly as my jittery nerves can bear, the harsh ground underfoot not helping.
I breathe as steadily as I can. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I clutch my handbag tight just to keep hold of something.
The drop to the river path is dark. Really dark.
I hesitate at the top, my eyes blinking and searching. Waiting.
Waiting for the monster to jump out of the shadows. Waiting for him to hoist me from my feet and drag me away.
Tiny steps, so tiny. Edging closer. I’m so expectant. So alert.
But he isn’t there.
Fuck.
I was so sure. So fucking sure.
But no. I descend without incident. My feet hit the grit and soil of the river path and all I hear is water down below.
My senses run riot down here, imagining horrors all around me. Hands in the undergrowth reaching out. Hot breath on my neck.
It’s the crunch of a stick behind me that sets me running. A squeal and I’m away, racing along the riverside without even so much as a glance back over my shoulder.
My hands swing at my sides, handbag long forgotten. It bounces against my ass, making a strange slapping sound as I go. My breath is wild in my ears. My heart is on fire.
My feet don’t feel a single thing.
I know this way well, but at this pace it feels laced with peril. I’m dipping under imaginary branches, veering away from imaginary demons. In danger of going tumbling just to escape the one behind me.
It’s a while before I know for sure there are footsteps pounding after mine. He’s at a distance, but he’s closing. I feel it.
My body screams with it.
I’m sprinting on wild instinct and nothing else.
My lungs are burning. My breath rasping in my throat. My heart thumps loud.
But not as loud as the boots of the beast behind me.
I fly like the wind, as fast as I’ve ever run in my life. My belly lurches with the thrill of being captured, but my flight instinct doesn’t agree. All I can do is keep on going, adrenaline so high, it’s fucking incredible.
I don’t know how long I’ve been running when the undergrowth gets deeper to my right. I don’t know how long it’s taken to reach the part of the path where there are barely any lights left at all.
I have to slow down here, so I do. I curse under my breath as my foot squelches in wet mud, and I know I’m too close to the river.
Shit.
I head further up the bank, but when I do his footsteps are nearer. Louder.
Faster.
He’s right on top of me.
My heart booms and so does my clit. My thighs are slick even though it’s fucking insane.
I’m desperate for him, even as my body finds its reserves to keep on running.
I’m making desperate noises as I breathe and I can’t stop.
I can’t stop because I fucking love it.
I’m a tumble of emotions with no structure. No backbone.
It’s all I want to do to fall on the ground and beg that he doesn’t hurt me. Beg that he does. Fall at his feet and beg him for anything; beg him for everything. Everything.
But then I see a light up ahead.
I know this place. I’ve been here before.
My heart soars as I recognise the pub from my crappy date with pink-shirted Jack.
The car park there is dim, but it’s lit. I’ll see the monster coming.
Oh fuck, how I want to see him coming.
I want to see every inch of his brutality as it comes my way.
Every inch of his beautiful face.
I make a final sprint for it, even as I feel him at my back.
The world stops spinning.
It slows to nothing as I feel the heat of him.
A thump of his boots and I hear his breath.
And then he grabs me.
Hard.
He steals the last of my breath from my lungs as he slams into my back. My bare feet are still running in the air as he lifts me clean off the ground.
I’ve no air to cry out, but he clamps his hand over my mouth anyway.
I’ve nowhere left to run, but still he crushes me until it hurts.
“Quiet,” he growls, and I try to nod.
He doesn’t take his hand away. Part of me hopes he never does.
The monster carries me easily up the track to the car park. I wonder if he’s going to fuck me over the railings, but he passes them by.
And then I see the hulk of his metallic black truck in the shadows.
“Don’t make a fucking sound,” he growls again as he pins me to its side. My cheek presses to window glass. I see my own misty breath. My wild eye looks at itself in the dark reflection, and behind me I see him.
And he’s beautiful.
He looks wild. Even wilder than me.
Dark and angry and coiled tight.
Dangerous.
He opens the passenger door and I wonder if I’m supposed to get in.
I’m not.
That’s obvious enough when the rope comes out.
I’ve never been tied up before. I protest before I can stop myself.
I’m a whimpering mess, begging please, no, but he doesn’t even look at me.
My handbag comes off over my head in a flash and he tosses it into the footwell. I try to pull my wrists from his grip, but he tugs them up behind my back and binds them tight.
He wraps the rope around my waist, around my thighs too. My pussy clenches as he threads the rope between my legs.
My clit throbs as he pulls it tight and I swear I almost come.
He pulls it again on purpose, I know he does, and I moan for him. I fucking moan for him.
I wish he’d touch me. Wish he’d use me right here, with my cheek pressed to the window.
I wish he’d fuck me so hard I’d scream for more, for less, for hurt.
He shunts me aside unceremoniously and opens the rear door. I’d stumble if he didn’t have such a solid grip on my arm.
He’s going to leave bruises.
And I’m going to love them.
He wrestles me roughly into the rear footwell. I squeak as I realise where this is going – just me, trussed up in rope, wedged behind the front seats.
It’s tight. Claustrophobic enough to make me beg.
“Please…” I whimper. “Please, not like this… I’ll get sick…”
“Shut the fuck up,” he says and the door slams at my feet, and the driver’s door opens soon after. The seat moves against my back as he climbs up. I hear the groan of the leather as he settles into position.
I curse as the ignition comes on. Beg some more as he reverses out of there.
I don’t stop begging for miles – lost in this crazy footwell hell. Scared and battered with feet sure to be bleeding. They feel like they’re bleeding.
My imagination runs riot, wondering if he really is some kind of psychopath.
I have no idea how he found me. I have no clue how he knew exactly where I’d be.
Still, my clit keeps on throbbing. My thighs are slick even though
I’m freaking out so hard I could vomit.
I know we’re out of town, even without windows. I feel every cattle grid. Every winding turn in the road.
And then we stop.
The quiet is ominous once he kills the engine.
My breath whistles in my ears. My heart pounding crazy all over again.
He clambers out of the front seat, and I’m whimpering to myself before he’s even on me.
Cold air grazes my thighs as he opens the rear door.
I kick out on instinct as he grabs at my feet, but he’s stronger. He drags me out easily.
And then he lets me go.
He unwinds the rope from my wrists before I’ve even got my bearings. He tugs it from between my thighs so quickly it burns.
My eyes blink and focus.
Darkness.
So much darkness.
Just the moonlight overhead.
And fields. So many fields. Fields upon fields.
I twist my head as he tugs the last of the rope from me.
Fields and soil and trees in every direction.
We’re in the middle of nowhere.
“Run.”
One word. That’s all he says.
He shunts my shoulders and says it again.
“Run.”
And I do.
I run through soil and grass and heather. I scrabble up a hill on my hands and knees and take off again at the top.
My rational mind is too fucked up to keep a grip. I’m lost to endorphins and adrenaline and terror. This isn’t a quick sharp shock like being slammed into the shutter doors. This is drawn-out. Exhausting.
More terrifying than anything I’ve ever known. And that’s because I’m doubting him.
He’s going to kill me.
He’s going to fuck me so hard and leave me to die.
I can’t hear him behind me but I keep on running, images of my dying self, sprawled naked on a hilltop, flashing through my mind, my pussy an unrecognisable mess. I run and run until I stumble and fall. I drag myself up and curse myself through tears, knowing full well I’m losing any grip on my own crazy reality.
I’m crying, sobbing as I run.
I’m crying at how bad my lungs are aching. At how pointless this is.
How scared he’s made me.
How fucked up I am.
I don’t want to run anymore.
I’ve barely made it a couple of fields when I’m a whimpering mess on the ground. I’m barely crawling when I hear his boots thump the ground behind me.
Strong.
Steady.
Menacing.
“You done?” he asks, and I shake my head.
I keep on crawling, scrabbling for grip enough to get to my feet.
But they hurt.
My toes are freezing cold and raw.
It hurts too much to keep on going. I have no breath left in my lungs.
I sink to my knees and I feel so degraded as his boot comes to rest on my back. Humiliated as he presses me to the dirt.
And I love him for it.
“Are you done?” he asks again, and I nod.
I’m done.
I’m a mess.
A fucked up mess with jangling nerves and clammy thighs.
Who hates how much she wants this.
Who loves how much she wants this. Him.
I can’t believe how hard I’ve run. How far I’ve come.
How fucking crazy I am.
How my thighs are opening in invitation, even though I know I could die tonight.
And I can’t believe how terrified I am when he drops to his knees behind me.
Seventeen
Every man has a wild beast within him.
Frederick the Great
Phoenix
She’s even more of a wreck than I thought she’d be.
She ran much harder than I ever expected.
And now she’s broken.
Part of me wants to scoop her up and make it all better. The other part…
The other part wants to make it so much worse.
I teeter between two torn sides. I’m in no man’s land as I drop to my knees in the dirt.
And then she decides for me. Even as she whimpers, she reaches down and tugs her skirt up her thighs.
It’s an invitation.
The most desperately fucked up invitation I’ve ever had.
I almost hate myself for wanting it.
Almost hate myself for the way she makes me feel. The way she summons all the broken parts of me and makes them sing.
She’s shivering as I run my fingers up her bare leg. She rolls back against the heat of me as I lay down in the dirt behind her.
I barely need to coax her leg up and over mine. She tips her head back willingly as I snake my hand around her throat.
She’s terrified but wanting. Broken but seeking.
“You’re gonna give me whatever I want,” I whisper, and the words keep coming. “Whatever I want, whenever I want. I’ll be around every fucking corner. In every fucking shadow.”
My fingers slip around her waist and down. I hitch her ass back against my throbbing dick and she grinds like a wanton little bitch.
“I’ll be your monster,” I whisper. “I’ll be every dirty fucking nightmare you ever had.”
She’s offering her pussy to my fingers even as they slip inside her knickers. She’s wet. Wet enough to take three straight in with a groan.
“You came looking for me,” I hiss. “Remember that.”
Her voice comes out choked. Her whisper just a breath on the breeze. “I found you.”
“And I found you. I found you at the train station. I followed you to the petrol station. I was at your front fucking door.”
I sound like a crazy stalker. Feel like a crazy stalker.
I feel like a beast without boundaries. She’s trampled them all.
I finger her sopping cunt and close my eyes and all I see is her. The blue of her dress trailing behind her in the darkness. The whites of her eyes in the window reflection as I bound her wrists.
“Be the monster…” she breathes, and I slam my fingers all the way inside.
I take my hand from her throat and take her hair instead. I hold her tight. Hard. Her head against my shoulder, the scent of her so close.
And then I push a fourth finger all the way in.
She groans. It sounds pained, even though her ass bucks back at me.
My mouth finds her neck and tastes her skin. She tastes of dirt and sweat and dreams. She flinches as my teeth pinch. Her hand reaches back for my ass, coaxing me tighter against her.
I can’t get any fucking tighter against her.
I fuck her deep and fast, fingers buried to the knuckles in that sweet tight pussy. I breathe into her ear as she moans for me.
I need this.
I need her.
She tips her face as far as I allow, almost enough that I could kiss her.
Her eyes are dark in the moonlight. Her hair is like black ink on the ground.
“Be my monster…” she breathes again, but I’m the one calling the shots.
My fingers squelch as I pull them free. My thumb is wet on her clit as I press hard. Brutal circles, her thighs spread wide.
I let go of her hair and wrap my arm around her neck. It’s the most delicious headlock, her fingers gripping my forearm and squeezing tight.
She’s trapped. Restrained. In the grip of a beast who won’t give her an inch.
And she fucking likes it.
I’m as brutal with her clit as the rest of her, but she fucking likes that too.
She’s on the edge in a heartbeat. It barely takes a fucking minute.
My black swan makes such pretty noises as she comes. The most desperate little gasps, so choked. She shivers and squirms and bucks that tight little ass against me, and it’s enough to send the beast in me fucking wild.
She’s barely even done when I force her onto her back. I pin her wrists above her head with enoug
h weight that she squeals, and then I tear that sweet blue dress from her tits and rip the lace of her bra down with it.
The white catches the moonlight, just like her skin. Her nipples are dark little bullets, screaming for touch.
She should be begging me to stop when I feast on her tit. She should be screaming as I pinch one of those sweet little nubs tight between my teeth.
Her legs shouldn’t part this easily as I grind my crotch against her puffy little slit. I tear her knickers off at the seams and wrestle my dick free from my jeans with clumsy fingers.
The head goes in in one, and it’s heaven. Crazy fucking heaven.
I press my forehead to hers as I force the first barbell inside. Her eyes are on mine. Her hitching breaths on my lips.
I could kiss her, but I don’t.
I can’t.
Kissing her demons would free my own. Every single one of them.
She wraps her legs around my waist and urges me on, even though her face is pained and her eyes are wide.
I give it to her.
Deep, hard thrusts send me deeper.
My hips slam forward to claim it all.
Our eyes stay open. Hers flash with pain just as mine do.
Her pussy clenches hard enough to fucking hurt.
I grunt as I pull out of her.
She groans as I push straight back in.
“More,” she whispers. “Give me everything.”
She’s crazier than I fucking thought, and so am I.
I shunt in hard and she cries out.
I do it again and she screams.
But she takes it. And I take her.
Her forehead is clammy against mine. Her breath playing against my lips.
She relaxes underneath me as we fall into rhythm. Her thighs loll open and her pussy welcomes me home.
I’m as close to bottoming out as I’ve ever been, my balls slapping loud against cold skin.
I want so much to land my mouth on hers, but fear it would end us both.
She takes it hard. So fucking hard.
I close my eyes against hers just to enjoy the sensation.
And she kisses me.
Gently.
Tenderly.
Her lips a ghost against mine.
