The Darkest Star

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  I should really wake him up.

  I should probably also run from the house with my arms flailing.

  I didn’t.

  Luc moved, his hand sliding back across my stomach to curve around my waist. He squeezed, and then—oh my—he was pressing into me, pulling my shoulder to his chest, his leg to—

  Oh gosh.

  This sound came from him: a sleepy growl that sent shivers pounding down my spine. I kept my eyes closed, swallowing a sound that would have embarrassed me as his long, tapered fingers brushed the band of my leggings. His breath and then his lips coasted over my temple.

  I knew the exact moment Luc woke up.

  He stiffened against me. I didn’t even think he breathed for a good half a minute. I didn’t move, keeping my breath as deep and even as possible. I didn’t want him to know I was awake—awake this whole time.

  Which was probably pointless, since he could read my thoughts and could be doing that right at this very moment.

  God, I hoped he wasn’t.

  Luc lifted his hand first, seemingly one finger at a time, and then he moved his leg. He stayed close though, for just a couple of moments. I waited, the tips of my fingers tingling. His breath drifted over my cheek. He seemed to hesitate, and then I felt his lips press against my forehead.

  I stopped breathing, and my heart, well, my heart sort of imploded.

  The mattress bounced slightly as Luc left the bed. I stayed completely still, my ears prickling until I heard the window slide open. Cold air seeped into the room, cut off as the window came back down. I heard the lock latch into place, and I didn’t move for a good minute or two after that.

  Luc had kissed my forehead.

  That was … so sweet, and it made my heart feel all gooey, and that was dumb, because he was still in love with some dead girl, and I didn’t even really like him. I mean, I did like him. He was kind of growing on me. Like mold—if mold was ripped and hard and hot and—

  “Ugh,” I groaned.

  Okay. I needed to be real with myself. I did like him.

  I rolled over and planted my face into the pillow and inhaled. Oh God. The pillow smelled like him. I flopped onto my back once more, letting out an aggravated curse.

  I needed help.

  Seriously.

  * * *

  I was running late for school—so late.

  Having finally fallen back to sleep sometime close to dawn, I’d dozed right through my alarm. I ended up barely having time to shower, leaving only time enough to twist my hair up in a wet bun and to grab the cleanest pair of jeans I could find.

  I saw that it was rainy and overcast, so I pulled a thin black thermal on over my head and then grabbed my backpack. On the way down the steps, I shoved up my sleeve to check my left arm.

  The bruise was almost completely gone, having faded overnight into a pale blue mark. Still, my stomach dipped. The Origin had—

  Wait. Dammit. I’d forgotten the stun gun.

  Cursing under my breath, I ran back to the bedroom, snatched my new best friend off the nightstand, and shoved it into my bag. Once again, I was stomping down the steps. I was going to grab a granola bar and then break several speeding laws.

  Mom was in the kitchen, sitting at the island. She held a mug in her hand, but she didn’t look up as I zoomed past her, heading for the pantry. “Hey,” I called out. “I’m running super-late. I just need to—”

  “Slow down,” she said. “There’s no need to rush.”

  “Oh yes, there is.” I threw open the pantry door. “I’m going to be so late, and that means I’ll have to park all the way in the back of the school parking lot. I’m way too lazy to make that walk twice.”

  “Honey, we need to talk.”

  With the conversation with Luc so fresh, talking to her was the last thing I wanted to do at the moment. Hold up. Did she know about Luc being here last night? I slowly turned around, feeling like the fact that Luc had been in my bed—had kissed my forehead—was tattooed all over my face. “About what?”

  She lowered her mug. “Why don’t you put your bag down and have a seat?”

  Unease blossomed in my stomach as the bag slipped from my shoulder to my elbow. “Why?”

  “Evie, come have a seat.”

  I opened my mouth, but I finally noticed her—really looked at her. Mom hadn’t showered yet. Her shoulder-length hair was secured with a barrette, and several strands had fallen free. Based on the wrinkled blouse and dark trousers, I wondered if she’d slept in her clothes from yesterday—or slept at all.

  My mouth suddenly dried. “What’s going on, Mom?”

  Her brown eyes met mine and she seemed to pale before my eyes. “Come sit down.”

  For some reason I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what she had to say. Maybe it was instinct. “I have to get to school.”

  “Evelyn, we need to talk now.”

  I hitched up my bag, walking away from the pantry without grabbing a granola bar. I made my way to the island.

  “Luc paid me a visit yesterday, while I was at work.”

  The bag slipped off my arm and hit the kitchen floor this time.

  “How he got as close as he did unnoticed is beyond me.” She took a sip of coffee. Her hand trembled, but her hands never shook. “I know what happened yesterday.”

  I stared at her from the other side of the kitchen island.

  “He told me that you were attacked by an Origin and that he healed you,” she added.

  I felt dizzy. Well, now that confirmed my mom knew about the Origins, but I already knew that, didn’t I? But why hadn’t Luc mentioned this little meeting to me last night? He’d had ample time. Tons of time. I placed my hands on the island, but I felt like I was still moving.

  The mug shook as she placed it back on the gray tile coaster. The coasters belonged to a set I’d gotten her for Mother’s Day last year. “I really think you need to sit down.”

  My heart was pounding so fast, I thought I’d be sick. “I don’t want to sit down.”

  Her face pinched as she briefly closed her eyes. “I’d hoped I would never have to have this conversation with you. I see now that was foolish. I should’ve known the moment Luc walked through that door that I was … that I was on borrowed time. I should’ve told you the truth then.”

  Pressure clamped down on my chest. “About what the Daedalus was really doing?”

  The breath she took rattled her body. “I can see that you’ve been talking to Luc. It was bound to happen. After all, I expected as much. He told me the deal was off the day he brought your ID to me. I’m just shocked that he hasn’t told you himself … but I knew. I could tell by the tiny changes in you. The Coke. The horror movies. That wasn’t something we expected. Then again, we’d never done what—”

  “What does this have to do with a soda or a movie?” Tension seeped into every muscle. “What do you need to tell me? And are you going to be a hundred percent honest now?”

  She flinched then, as if I’d cursed at her. “I need to tell you who you really are.”

  25

  There was a buzzing in my ears, and the only thing grounding me was the cool granite under my palms. “What does that even mean?”

  Mom tucked a thin strand of her hair back. “I want you to know that no matter what, I love you. I need you to remember that.”

  “What?” I stepped back from the island as my earlier anger seeped away, replaced by concern. “Why are you saying that? Are you sick?”

  “I’m not sick,” she said, drawing in a shaky breath. “Evie, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I’ve only been your mother for the last four years. From what I know, the mother who bore you died when you were just a small child. A drug overdose.”

  My brows lifted. What in the hell? Something was really wrong with Mom.

  “And before you came to me, you had a different name, a whole different life,” she continued, her gaze slowly tracking over my face. “Your real name is not Evelyn
Dasher.”

  “Okay.” I bent down, picking up my bag as concern exploded in my gut. I reached into the front pocket for my phone. “We need to call someone. I don’t know who, but there has to be—”

  “We do not need to call anyone,” she interrupted. “There is nothing wrong with me. I’m telling you the truth, honey.”

  “Mom—”

  “Your real name is Nadine Holliday.”

  Every muscle in my body froze as the phone slipped from my fingers, falling back into the pocket. I lifted my gaze to hers.

  “That was your name—is your name.” Her upper lip thinned. “But you were called Nadia for short.”

  “No,” I whispered. My brain sort of emptied of all thought. For several precious moments there was nothing in my head. Nothing but the buzzing, which was now louder and more incessant.

  “That’s what Luc called you. Nadia.”

  A jolt traveled through my system. “No.”

  “You were a very sick girl when I first met you. A blood cancer. And while some of the treatments we’d developed had been successful with less-invasive cancers, yours was very aggressive. You were dying, and Luc had tried many different things,” she continued, even as I began to shake my head. “He knew that we—the Daedalus—had different serums, but nothing he’d been able to get his hands on had worked.”

  I backed up, bumping into the sink. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming. I had to be. That made more sense, because nothing she was saying was possible.

  “Luc came after Jason. He was going to kill him for the things he’d done to … all those innocent people, but Jason … he knew about you. Jason knew you were dying, and he was ever the opportunist. He bartered his life for yours. There was a new serum that the Daedalus had just designed, right before the invasion. We … we called it the Andromeda serum, and the Daedalus had amazing success with it. Jason offered the treatment in return for his life, and Luc…”

  Her shoulders tensed as she exhaled roughly. “Luc was desperate. He had to be to let Jason live, because Jason had—” She cut herself off with a quick shake of her head. “Luc brought you here, just after the war with the invading Luxen ended. I met him in this room for the first time, in this kitchen. I met you for the first time that day. Jason had already told me what to bring.”

  Nothing she was saying made sense. We’d lived in Hagerstown before the invasion—

  Hagerstown.

  Luc had said Nadia had been from Hagerstown.

  A shudder worked its way through me.

  “You were so sick. Just this small thing struggling for every breath and heartbeat, and Luc was near rabid when it came to you. He would’ve sacrificed everyone around him if that meant you’d live, and he did. In a way, he sacrificed you. He knew there was a good chance what it meant if the Andromeda serum was successful—”

  “Stop.” I held up my hand as if I could ward off what she was saying. “Just stop. This is insane and impossible.” I started around the island, having no idea where I needed to go, but knowing I just needed to get out of there.

  I couldn’t listen to this.

  Mom rose from the stool, moving faster than I’d ever seen her do before. So fast, I jerked back with a gasp. She cradled my cheeks in her cool palms. “Listen to me, honey. You were given your Andromeda serum. That serum acted like a virus once inside your body. It attacked the cancer cells as it reshaped your genetic material, the very core of who you were. Like any virus, it causes a fever, an extremely high one. Most of our subjects we tested didn’t even survive the fever, but I cared for you myself. I stayed by your side, day and night—”

  “Stop it!” I shouted, trying to break free. “Why are you saying this stuff? Why are you doing this?”

  Mom dropped her hands to my shoulders and gripped them, holding me in place with surprising strength. “You lost your memories, just like we told Luc would happen. It was the fever, but you survived it and you … became Evelyn.”

  Wrenching free of her grasp, I darted to the side. “Do you know how insane all of this sounds?”

  “The Andromeda serum had alien DNA and now so do you,” she continued. “Not enough to trigger a retinal scan or simple blood work unless extensive typing is done. That was why there was no trace when Luc healed you. That was why he came to me last night. He wanted to know what we—what I had done to you when I healed you.”

  “I have alien DNA in me?” I laughed.

  Mom wasn’t laughing. “You do.”

  “Oh my God.” Another laugh burst out of me, sounding brittle. “This is absolutely nutty, and I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “No. It’s some kind of joke I’m missing the punch line to.” I started around the island again.

  You’re still so incredibly stubborn.

  My throat threatened to seal up. I pushed Luc’s words from my mind. “And I just need you to stop—”

  “I need you to listen to me.” Mom turned. “The moment you walked into that club, everything changed. Luc saw you and he’s back in your life now. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth, and things are about to—” She took a deep breath. “You needed to hear this from me. Not him.”

  I spun around, facing her as my heart kicked against my ribs. “This is not real. You’re telling me that I’m not Evie. That I’m this dead girl.”

  “Nadia never died.”

  “Yes, she did. Luc told me she did.”

  “Did he say those words exactly?” she asked. “Did Luc ever say that Nadia died?”

  “He—” I snapped my mouth shut and then dragged my hands over my hips. Luc had never said that Nadia was dead. He only said that she was … that she was gone. Throat dry and stomach cramping, I kept backing up. “It doesn’t matter what he said. It’s not possible. I remember me. I—I know who I am. How do you explain that?”

  “You don’t remember, Evelyn. You just remember what I wanted you to,” she replied quietly. “We can’t implant memories, not yet, but the mind is an amazing thing. It’s so susceptible to impressions, and that’s what we did—what I did. When you woke up and after—after Jason was gone, it was just you and me, and I gave you the impression of Evelyn’s life.”

  “Jesus.” I smoothed a hand down my face. There was a good chance I was going to be sick. “I don’t have impressions. I remember Dad and—”

  “Tell me what Jason’s voice sounded like,” she demanded, coming around the island.

  I opened my mouth, but I … I couldn’t. I hadn’t been able to in … I hadn’t been able to. “He sounds like a guy,” I said, blinking rapidly.

  “Tell me what our old house looked like in Hagerstown?”

  I knew what it looked like. The memories were there, but I was too overwhelmed to see the house in my mind. I had those memories; I knew I did. I just needed to concentrate.

  Tears filled her eyes. “Tell me what I said to you the morning of the invasion and where did we go?”

  “You—You told me that everything—” I squeezed my eyes shut. What had she said? Everything was a blur. “I was too panicked. I don’t remember, but that means nothing.”

  “Honey, it means what it means. You weren’t with me when the Luxen invaded. You were wherever Luc had you.” She pressed her lips together. “There is not a single thing you can tell me about elementary school or your tenth birthday. What you have to pull from, the well you’ve drunk from these last four years, are stories I told you while you had the fever, while we cured you.”

  Panic started to dig in with razor-sharp claws. “How is that possible? How can you stand there and tell me that I have no memories, or that the ones I do have are fake? That’s impossible. You’re my mom and I’m Evie. That’s who I’ve always been!”

  Mom shook her head.

  As I stared at her, a horrible, terrifying thought occurred to me. What if … what if she was telling the truth? There had been that weird sense of déjà vu when I first saw
Luc in the club. There were all those times when Luc spoke as if he knew me. And the deal—he’d kept mentioning this deal.

  Mom stopped in front of the island, placing her fist against her chest. “I’m still your mother. I am—”

  “Stop,” I demanded. “I just need you to stop. Please. Because this can’t be real.”

  “It is.” Her chest rose, and then she lifted her other hand to her eyes, making a pinching motion. When she lowered her hand, she dropped something on the island—two brown contacts.

  My gaze flew to hers, and I gasped.

  Mom’s eyes weren’t brown anymore. They were the color of the summer sky, before a storm. A vibrant, unnatural shade of blue.

  “No,” I whispered, shaking my head.

  She smiled as tears tracked down her cheeks, and those tears disappeared as the veins under her skin filled with beautiful, luminous light. The glow spread, seeping into her skin and replacing the tissue. Within moments, she was fully encased in light.

  Suddenly I remembered when Luc had come into the house and Mom had lifted her hand as if she was about to do something. Luc had dared her to do it. I hadn’t understood then what was happening, but I did now.

  Luc had known.…

  He had known that Mom was a Luxen.

  But she wasn’t my mom—not my biological one. I knew that now. No matter how much I wanted to deny what she was telling me. I knew enough about the Luxen to know they couldn’t have children that weren’t Luxen.

  “God.” The room tilted. I felt faint, dizzy, and I couldn’t deal with this. I couldn’t process the truth that was glowing back at me. My feet were moving into the living room before I realized what I was doing or where I was going. Then I ran back into the kitchen and grabbed my bag off the island. I spun and went for the garage door.

  “Honey!” she called out.

  I stopped and looked. She was back to normal. Well, except for her eyes. They were still the eyes of the Luxen.