Stalking the Phoenix

by Karen Woods

  I gently wiped the tears from her eyes. “Fear can come out in dreams.”

  “I know.”

  “What can I do to help?”

  “Go back to bed, Phil. There’s no reason for both of us to suffer with this.”

  “Al?”

  “Go back to bed, Phil, please?”

  “Are you afraid of me?”

  “Afraid? No. I’m not afraid of you. But, I’ve got no business feeling for you the things that you made me feel earlier. It’s wrong, Phil. I’m committed to Geoff . . .” she said with her innate honesty. “I’m having his baby.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t want to feel this way towards you, either. But, I think that I’m falling in love with you, Al.”

  She closed her eyes against the pain. “No, Phil. Please, no. We can’t do this. It’s so wrong.”

  “Al . . .”

  “No, Philip. Don’t let me hurt you that way. I won’t encourage you. Geoff and I are getting married at the end of the month. There is no room in my life for anything else. I don’t want to see you hurt. Please, don’t let me hurt you.”

  “I won’t mention it again.”

  “Thank you. Good night.”

  “Sleep well, Al.”

  “You, too.”

  I looked into the darkness of my room. I had left my door open so that I could hear her, if she needed me. I had heard her move around restlessly. I looked at the alarm clock. Four-fifteen. Since I wasn’t getting any rest, I might as well get up. Maybe an hour’s workout would help, I hoped.

  Chapter 24

  ALICIA

  I heard the footsteps in the hall. I held my breath as Phil hesitated just outside the door before he went downstairs. In the silence of the house, I heard every step until he reached the bottom landing of the staircase.

  “Oh, Alicia Marie, how in the world did you get yourself into this mess?”

  And there was no other word to describe it other than ‘mess.’

  Geoff loved me. But, Geoff had never made me feel the way that Phil had in those few seconds that he had kissed me. Geoff had never made me want him. And I would be going into a marriage that lacked that sexual tension. How could it work without that element? Did I want to spend the rest of my life like this?

  Years ago, I had decided that I could easily live without sex. And I knew that I still could. The problem was that those few seconds last night had touched a part of me that I hadn’t known existed.

  So, why hadn’t I been able to want Geoff? Why had I always frozen in his arms? Was it simply that I had always had time to think with Geoff? Phil certainly hadn’t given me any time to think about anything other than how good his lips felt on my mouth, and how much more I wanted from him. Or was it that the last few hours had been so emotionally charged that my normal resistance had simply evaporated? Life and death situations could do that to people, could make a person reach out for life. That could well be it. I both hoped that it was all there was to it and hoped that there was more to it.

  I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was that I was so confused that I could hardly think straight.

  Well, that wasn’t all I knew. My fingers lightly traced over my stomach. It would be a matter of months before the baby was big enough to be noticeable to other people. But, the child was a factor in my life I couldn’t ignore.

  Unfortunately, Hernandez had made his presence in my life also a factor.

  Deciding that I wasn’t going to get any more sleep, I got out of bed. Gathering my clothing for the day, I went to the bathroom to get a shower.

  Chapter 25

  ALICIA

  I stood with my back to the class, writing on the board. “Okay, people, you know your assignments. If there are no questions, you are dismissed.”

  Carrie McKinley, one of my brighter students, raised her hand. “How is Mr. Samson, Doc?”

  “He’ll be fine, Carrie. Thank you for asking.”

  “I think that I’m speaking for all of us, Doc, when I say if there is anything that you need, we want you to call on us,” Carrie said strongly. “We all wanted to offer you support after your house was destroyed, but none of us had the guts. But, you’ve got to know that any of us would be glad, honored, to help in any way that we can.”

  I smiled at the collection of senior students. “Thanks, guys. But, it would be far better for you if you all stay clear. You really don’t want to be involved in this.”

  “I don’t know, Doc,” Hank Freedman, the captain of the college football team said, “I think that I would rather enjoy throttling the man who hurt you the way that he did.”

  I sat down on the well worn wooden stool which sat at the end of the blackboard. I didn’t feel particularly well. Feeling faint was not my usual mode of operation, but I definitely felt faint for more than a passing moment, then.

  “Doc?” Carrie asked in concern. “Are you all right?”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

  “Doc?” Carrie demanded.

  “I’m fine, Carrie.”

  “You don’t look fine,” Hank said. “You look like you were about to pass out.”

  I looked at the students. “Suppose that you tell me what you meant by that remark, Hank.”

  Hank looked as uncomfortable as I felt. “Well, Doc . . . you haven’t read the newspaper this morning, have you?”

  I looked at him. “No. Should I have?”

  “It told all about LA and your-your attack,” Hank replied as if he were frightened of saying the wrong thing. “About your having killed those men who—”

  “I see. Well, I suppose that it was only a matter of time until that came out. Did you happen to see under whose byline the story was run?”

  “No,” Hank said quietly.

  Carrie smiled, but the expression was clearly forced. “I think that I speak for all of us in telling you that we all are behind you.”

  “Just make sure that you stay far behind me. No one else needs to be hurt,” I warned them. “There’s been too many people hurt here as it is. Being around me tends to be dangerous, just now. While you may not care about the risk, I assure you that your parents will. So, do us all a favor, don’t stand too close to me. Please.”

  The silence in the classroom was nearly deafening.

  “Now, are there any questions about the assignment?”

  When none were forthcoming, I told them, “Then I’ll let you go a few minutes early.”

  The class filed out of the room in silence.

  I stretched out on the long sofa that lined one wall in my office. It wasn’t particularly comfortable. But, I was asleep almost immediately. Unfortunately, it was a rest that didn’t last very long. I was awake the moment that Mae Thompson stuck her head into the office.

  “What is it, Mae?”

  “Why don’t you go home, Alicia?” the departmental secretary asked in concern. “You look wasted.”

  “I’d love to. Unfortunately, I have a meeting with Harry in about twenty minutes to discuss the departmental budget for next year.”

  “You work too hard, Alicia,” Mae charged.

  “Nonsense. Work is the only thing keeping me sane, just now.”

  Mae smiled softly.

  “I had better walk over to the Administration building.”

  “I can walk over with you, if you want,” Mae offered with clear hesitation.

  I smiled at the department secretary. “Thanks, Mae. But, I’m a big girl these days. I think that I can walk a half block without incident.”

  I didn’t think that was an inaccurate statement. However, that simply shows how false my impressions can be.

  The exploding sound of a car backfiring was all that it took to send me hurtling to the ground. Several students who were walking along the sidewalks heard the noise and saw me drop. They also saw the very deadly Walther come into my hand with the ease of long practice.

  The old Chrysler backfired again as it drove down the street. I, realizing what
the sound had been, and more importantly what it had not been, colored as I replaced the weapon into the holster at the small of my back.

  Hank Freedman came over to me. “Doc?”

  “Excuse me while I regain my dignity,” I replied as I rose from the pavement.

  “Are you all right?” Carrie, who had been walking with Hank, asked.

  “I’ve been better,” I said. “Jumping at shadows and loud noises. I guess that it is obvious that my nerves are nearly shot.”

  “You’ve got every reason to be nervous,” Carrie said. “I’d be nervous, too.”

  I smiled at my prize student. “Thanks. Excuse me. I’m due for a meeting.”

  “We’ll walk you the rest of the way,” Carrie offered. “No. You just let us do this small thing.”

  President Harry Henderson’s office was a large suite on the third floor of Aquinas Hall.

  “Alicia?” Harry asked in concern as I was shown into his office. “How are you?”

  “My health seems to be a primary concern for people today.”

  Harry smiled at me as he ran a hand over his balding pate. He laughed lightly. “That’s the Alicia whom we all know and love.”

  I took a seat in the chair opposite the desk. “I won’t be able to teach during the entire second semester next year.”

  Harry smiled at me. “I see. Am I to assume that motherhood is eminent?”

  “That’s not for public discussion at this point.”

  Harry laughed. “You young people,” he said with a smile. “Congratulations, this is wonderful news. Babies are very special. Of course, it’s been twenty years since my youngest was a toddler.”

  “I will, of course, make the arrangements for someone to come in to teach my sections. I’ve compiled a short list of candidates.”

  “It will be a temporary position?” Harry asked. “You are coming back to us?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t give up teaching.”

  Harry smiled. “Hand pick whoever you want to teach your courses. The faculty personnel committee will have to rubber stamp that. But, I am confident that there will be no problem with anyone whom you find acceptable.”

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t suppose that you could find someone who is willing to teach for what we pay you?” he asked.

  I laughed. “Maybe. Most of my friends wouldn’t serve in a volunteer capacity. But, I’ve a couple of friends who might be lured away from their labs for a few weeks in order to fill in for me, as a personal favor. But I would owe them, big time, for the favor. I was thinking about Rusty Davis of Davis Engineering.”

  Harry raised an eyebrow. He whistled softly between his teeth. “You think that you could lure her here?”

  “It’s within the realm of possibility, at least for a few weeks. Rusty’s been trying to lure me into working on a detailed project with her. She might be willing to take the teaching duties as a trade-off for what she wants from me.”

  Harry laughed. Then he asked, “Why didn’t you take the position at MIT?”

  I looked at him with narrowed eyes. “How did you find out about that?”

  “I have my sources,” Harry said. “And the offer from the NEC was almost too good to pass up. As were the offers from CalTech, UM at Rolla, et al.”

  I shook my head negatively. “MIT and CalTech contract with the Department of Defense. NEC is Japanese. Besides, I like it here. I’m free to do my own research, without being having to have it approved by some committee, and I’m not forced into working on something that I have no interest in. And if I decide that there are military applications to something that I am working on, then whether I pursue it or not is my call. I prefer to make my own decisions about my work.”

  “How is Geoff?” Harry asked, changing the subject.

  “He’ll mend. I shudder to think about how much pain he’s going to be in for a few weeks. Thankfully, the injuries weren’t as serious as they could have been.”

  “Is he home?”

  “I’ve got to get him in about an hour. The repairs should just about be done to the house and the security people are due to be there today.”

  Harry nodded. “For your sake, I was sorry to see the story about Hernandez come out. I know that you would have rather left all that in the past.”

  “Sometimes, there is no help for it, Harry. The past lurks in the dark waiting to spring.”

  “That is a cynical attitude.”

  “I’m in a more than slightly cynical mindset at the moment.”

  “Just know that your friends are here for you, whatever you need, whenever you need it,” Harry said.

  “Thanks, Harry. Geoff and I both appreciate it.”

  “This is far from over, isn’t it?”

  “I’m afraid so. I’m almost to the point of wishing that he would show himself. I’ll deny ever saying it if the topic ever comes up, but these guerrilla acts are having their desired effect, unfortunately.”

  Harry sighed. Then his phone rang.

  “Go ahead, answer that. I’m leaving.”

  I walked the ten blocks to Geoff’s house. I let myself in the front door. The workmen had been there earlier in the day, obviously, because the front door had been repaired. Sounds were coming from the kitchen.

  Drawing the Walther for the second time in one day, I made my way to the kitchen. I peered around the corner. Geoff’s secretary, twenty-two-year-old Connie Banks, was there making sandwiches for herself and her two-year-old daughter, Bobbie. I holstered the gun before either of them saw me.

  I walked into the kitchen. Connie startled and dropped the knife she was using to spread peanut butter onto the slices of whole wheat bread.

  “I didn’t mean to give you a fright,” I told her.

  Connie smiled broadly. “My fault, entirely. I should have heard you come in, but I didn’t. Do you want some lunch?”

  “You let the workmen in?”

  “Geoff asked me to. The alarm people are supposed to be here, shortly.”

  I smiled at the younger woman. “We appreciate everything that you’ve done.”

  “No problem. No problem at all. Are you going to bring Geoff home?”

  “In a while, Ed Roby said that he should be able to leave there about three. There were some tests that they wanted to run which they wouldn’t have the results of until about two.”

  “You look tired.”

  “It’s been a long few weeks.”

  “Yeah . . . I can understand that.”

  “I’m going upstairs to take a short nap before I go to the hospital to pick up Geoff. Wake me in thirty minutes?”

  “Sure thing. By the way, you got a couple of big boxes UPS from Monsignor in Chicago. They are in the dining room.”

  “Thanks, Connie. I’ll tend to them later. Right now, I’m so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open. I’m going up to take a short nap.”

  There was a message written on my dresser mirror in lipstick, bright red lipstick. “Now you lay you down to die, hope the Lord up in the sky, exists and takes you home on high.”

  I screamed.

  Twenty minutes later, sitting in the living room, I was still shaking. The tremors were not particularly noticeable until a person looked at my hands.

  “Al?” Phil asked as he walked into the room.

  “He’s been here again, Phil. In the house.”

  “I heard. You are coming home with me, until the alarms get installed. You and Geoff both.”

  “That’s probably for the best.”

  “We’ll pick Geoff up on the way.”

  “He hates being kept waiting.”

  “He never was a patient man,” Phil replied in a half-amused tone.

  “He’s more patient than you know,” I added, falsely thinking that I was using a voice Phil couldn’t hear. The expression on his face told me only too clearly that he had heard.

  We settled Geoff into the bedroom on the first floor that in previous years had been the housekeeper’s room.
The pain medication Geoff had been prescribed made him quite drowsy. Letting him sleep, Phil and I left the back bedroom and made our way to the kitchen.

  “Herb tea?” Phil asked.

  “Only if you promise not to spike it.”

  Phil smiled sheepishly. “When did you figure that one out?”

  “It wasn’t hard. There’s a reason that I don’t drink much. I don’t have any head for the stuff. Thinking back on last night, your lacing the tea with alcohol is the only logical reason why I behaved as I did.”

  “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of, Al.”

  “Don’t I?”

  “Are you angry with me?”

  “I should be. Somehow, I just can’t summon that emotion. Right now, I am having a difficult time feeling anything. I’m just numb. And I think that’s very dangerous. I ought to be feeling something, anything. I don’t like feeling this numb.”

  “Numbness is nature’s way of blunting pain when it is too intense to deal with,” Phil said as he touched my face. “Just relax a little and try not to worry about it.”

  “That’s just it, Phil. I’m not worried. That concerns me. A little tension can be a lifesaver. I think that I’ve passed beyond fear into acceptance, almost complacency. That could be fatal.”

  Phil looked at me for a moment. Then, wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly.

  I should have pulled away from him. But, instead, I merely relaxed in his arms, burying my face in his chest, and leaning on him for comfort.