Wedding Belles

by Beth Albright

  I bent toward her and began working on the zipper. It really wouldn’t budge. I had my head under her armpit so I could see what the problem was when suddenly the zipper gave a quick jolt and moved just enough to catch my bangs.

  I let out a holler as I felt my scalp being yanked.

  “Oh, honey, are you okay?”

  “My bangs are caught!” I screeched. “Don’t move an inch. You’re gonna snatch me bald-headed.”

  But Vivi turned before she heard my answer and my hair pulled even tighter into the zipper. Good and stuck now, I was bent over with my head trapped in Vivi’s armpit. One thing was for sure, we could not go down the aisle this way.

  “Help, Sweetie-Pie!” I yelled until she came running in.

  “Oh, my Lord, what in hell have y’all gone and done now?” Sweetie ran over to us and pulled my hair back to reveal my bangs trapped in the dress. “We gonna have to cut you right on outta there, baby girl.”

  “No! My beautiful dress!” Vivi screamed.

  “Not you,” Sweetie-Pie said. “I ain’t ’bout to go and ruin my masterpiece. I mean you, Blake, baby. We gonna have to cut your hair outta this here zipper. Now stay right here, don’t y’all move. I’m gonna reach over here and grab my scissors.”

  “No! That’s my hair we’re talking about,” I cried, feeling slightly wild. “I cut my bangs just for the wedding. You can’t chop them now!”

  The way I saw it, it was between my ruined hair or Vivi’s...slightly damaged wedding dress. From my point of view, the creator of the dress was right there to fix any dress emergencies, but it would take several weeks to grow my bangs back. No question, the dress was the loser. But Sweetie didn’t see it quite my way.

  “Please, Miss Sweetie, can’t we do anything else?” I begged.

  “Let’s see.” She thought for a second. “Nope!” And she snipped my bangs right off, Vivi bouncing over a few steps and me falling backward.

  Standing straight again, I couldn’t help but laugh. Vivi looked like she had forgotten to shave her pits for about a year with my bangs hanging out from under her arm. Miss Sweetie worked the zipper feverishly, shredding my leftover bangs into sawdust until Vivi was freed.

  “Oh, thank you, Miss Sweetie, you’re a lifesaver,” Vivi said.

  “Yes, and quite a hairstylist, might I add,” I offered sarcastically.

  “Oh, Blake, I am so sorry. And you had already done your hair. We need to even you up now,” Vivi said, giggling.

  Yes, we would be a sight at the wedding—if we made it there in one piece. We hugged Miss Sweetie-Pie goodbye, and then she put the dress in a garment bag and said she would see us around four-thirty or so to make sure Vivi was in the dress and didn’t need anything else.

  “Now, y’all take good care of this here dress now, okay? I can’t make us up another in an hour.” She laughed and patted Vivi’s behind. “Go on now and have a happy weddin’ day. I’ll see y’all directly. I gotta go get beautiful myself.”

  Lord, help us, I prayed, let there be no more mishaps. My maid of honor tiara was already barely hanging by the last hairs on my head.

  45

  The drive back to Vivi’s was a flurry of excited conversation. Now that we knew her dress was perfect, it felt like a heavy weight had lifted from our shoulders. I mean, really—once you’ve got the right dress, everything else just falls into place.

  We put the top down, since my hair was a goner now anyway. Vivi, meanwhile, put a gorgeous Calvin Klein scarf over her hair, looking like a 1950s movie star, riding in her little powder-blue Thunderbird convertible.

  Meridee would arrive at the plantation soon to do our makeup, and we had to check in with Arthur and the Fru Fru boys—then salvage my hair and Vivi’s anemic eyebrow.

  Lewis was broadcasting the kickoff, so the guests would all be listening to a radio or watching a TV until it was over. We turned into the gravel drive at the plantation’s front gates under the shade oaks and magnolias. Little white whisps were floating above our heads and catching in the branches. It looked like hundreds of dandelions.

  “Lord have mercy, are those...feathers?” Vivi asked as we drove in.

  “I do believe they are.” My heart sank.

  “What in the name of God are feathers doing floating all over my wedding yard?”

  As we drove past the fountain, I swore I heard the sound of a rooster. Just then, Arthur dodged in front of the car with a huge net and we came to a skidding stop amid spitting gravel. He didn’t even notice us, since he was too busy chasing a cluster of chickens running wild across the lawn. Vivi jumped out and ran over to Arthur as he lunged at the chickens with his net, leaping over the rooster as he went.

  “What the hell is Arthur doin’ chasin’ all those chickens? They’re not on today’s menu! And why, in the name of sweet baby Jesus, do I have a rooster runnin’ around, crowin’ all over the place?” She was growing more livid by the second.

  “Miss Vivi! Miss Vivi!” Jean-Pierre came running, his iPad under his arm. “Oh, my God, I am sooooo sorry. We asked the petting zoo for ten swans, but I guess our order was mixed up with another and instead they delivered a dozen chickens and a rooster!”

  “Don’t worry, Miss Vivi,” Arthur said, as he and his hired waiters chased down more chickens. “We’re gettin’ ’em all.”

  “Well, there better not be a damn llama on the way. Tell them to unmix us. Right now,” I ordered, getting into matron of honor mode.

  “I can’t have chickens here today! They’ll leave little poop piles from here to campus by the time I walk down the aisle. Where are my swans?” She was upset, hot and pregnant. And a bride. This was not a combination to be messin’ with.

  “Swans? Where is your eyebrow? That is the real question,” Coco said as he ran up to all the chicken commotion. He never was one for tact.

  “Not now, Coco,” I warned. I looked at Vivi and she covered her face with her hands.

  Then Coco turned to me, his eyes wide. “Look at your hair. We could almost be twins! We may start ourselves a whole new trend of uneven cuts.” He smiled as if pleased to think I was copying him.

  I didn’t scream at him, but it was tough. I pointed to my hair. “This was a mistake. I’m getting extension hair in an hour.”

  “I don’t know if I’d bother,” Coco said, tilting his head. “I kinda like it.”

  “Just get rid of the chickens,” Vivi snapped, and we turned to walk inside.

  Vivi took a deep breath. “How much time before Meridee and Kitty get here?”

  “Any minute,” I reassured her. “Now, don’t worry. You will be ready in plenty of time for the big walk down the aisle, so just relax.”

  “You know me. I don’t feel quite right if my nerves aren’t on fire about somethin’.”

  We both laughed.

  I glanced at the clock as we passed it. Three-thirty. Three more interminable hours and counting. Surely, nothing else could go wrong....

  * * *

  Vivi called Lewis. “Hey, handsome, how’s the game goin’?...Our time still lookin’ good?” Her face suddenly changed. “You’re kiddin’ me, right? The score is that close?...No damn way!” Even on her wedding day, a Tuscaloosa bride would still be worried about football.

  She plunked down on her bed. “Lewis, please make sure you are here by five-thirty...I know. I know you’ll do everything in your power. I just sorta can’t wait to get married to you.” She laughed. “At least history is on our side. In my whole life the kickoff game has never been forced into overtime with Alabama. So I’m not too worried.”

  She listened again then smiled. “I love you, too, baby. Now get on over here and make me an honest woman...Okay. Bye.”

  “What’s going on in the press box?” I asked.

  “The score is within a field go
al, Blake! Good God, what the hell, Bama? Don’t those boys know I got a weddin’ to get to?”

  “Everything will work out,” I soothed. “Lewis will be on his way before we know it. Bryant-Denny Stadium is only fifteen minutes from here. After the game ends, he’ll have an hour and a half to drive it. That’s plenty of leeway—even if it does go into overtime.”

  “Why did Myra Jean say the wedding had to switch to today?” Vivi wailed. “This is crazy. Missing eyebrow, your bangs all chopped up, missing swans and chickens runnin’ wild through my yard... If this is the good day, what the hell would have happened on the bad one?”

  “Well, honey, she said today’s date had a glow around it.”

  “Yeah, probably ’cause the house will catch on fire, the way things are goin’.”

  “Look,” I said. “Lewis is gonna get here and you are gonna be stunning. Now, let’s go wash your face and get your hair set. Twyla Jamison’s coming to do our hair.”

  “Twyla? That’s great!” Vivi exclaimed, perking up. “Twyla is wonderful, and she’s worked on all those beauty pageants. She’ll be able to do something with this mop.” Vivi gestured to her red, wiry mess.

  “Well, I hope she’s bringing hair extensions cause there is no way she’s gonna cut my hair to even up this butcher job,” I said, fluffing my short, stubby bangs.

  “I don’t remember your wedding being this crazy and desperate,” Vivi said.

  “Not till long after the ceremony, sugar. C’mon, let’s get ready.”

  Just then, Kitty, Meridee and Twyla came in through the kitchen, talking and laughing.

  “Hellooooo,” Kitty trilled. “Where is everybody?”

  “Up here, Mother,” I called down the stairs. I heard the trampling of high heels shuffling up the curved wooden staircase.

  “In here.” I directed them to Vivi’s enormous retreat.

  “Hey, honey, how are you two doin’?” Kitty came in first and distributed hugs. Meridee followed with her huge case of magic tricks. Twyla was right behind.

  “We’re good, Mother, but we had a couple of little accidents today,” I said.

  “Good God Almighty, Vivi, did you run into a lawn mower? Where the hell is your eyebrow?” Meridee was nothing if not blunt.

  Kitty looked at my shorn hair. “You two weren’t playin’ beauty shop like y’all used to, were y’all? Not today?”

  I sighed. “No, Mother, it’s a long story that we don’t have time for now.”

  “Kitty, we got more to do than I thought. We’d best get a move on,” Meridee said, looking concerned. “We may need more miracles than I got in this case of mine. You shoulda told me to bring my magic hat!”

  Miss Sweetie made her way up the stairs. “Where’s the party?”

  “In here, Sweetie-Pie.” Meridee looked excited to see her old friend and partner. After another round of hugs and hellos, we focused on business. The whole beauty team shifted into high gear, and it was good for them to all come together again, especially for Vivi.

  “Okay, ladies, let’s get gorgeous,” Meridee announced.

  Vivi and I sat on matching tapestry vanity stools in her spalike powder room. The peach-colored walls, heated floor, marble counters and sconce amber lighting on the walls on either side of the deep jetted tub created a soft, romantic feeling. The big lights around the mirror looked like something out of a Broadway dressing room. Vivi would finally be getting ready for her spotlight. Moisturizers and foundation applied, blush, eye shadow, black eyeliner applied ’50s style, with little cat corners, false eyelashes out to there, and then came the eyebrow.

  “Okay. Sugar, I’m gonna build you some eyebrows to match and no one will ever know,” Meridee assured her.

  “Thank goodness, Miss Meridee. I knew I could count on you.”

  “I’ve seen worse than this. Take Blake’s hair, for instance. That’s gonna be a challenge.”

  “Thanks, Nanny. I wasn’t quite nervous enough,” I said with a smirk.

  “Love you, baby.” Meridee winked. “Twyla’s gonna get to you in a jiffy.”

  This was an official girl-fest. It reminded me of our pageant days. Hot rollers plugged in, lipstick expertly applied. Twyla took over with the big paddle brushes, jacking our hair straight up to Jesus. We were enveloped in a fog of Aqua Net, the official hairspray of the pageant world. All that was left was the perfume and the jewelry. Twyla clipped in a series of long brunette hair extensions and slipped a rhinestone headband on me to hide the chopped pieces and the clips. Not that comfy, but I could take some Motrin if it started hurting too much. Beauty trumped pain in my world any day.

  As Meridee was finishing up, she stopped and pulled a black velvet bag from her case. “Vivi, I want you to have this with you when you marry Lewis.” She pulled out an unusual brooch. “All the women in the family have worn this on their wedding day, and you are my family, as much as anybody.”

  I immediately recognized the jeweled brooch given to Meridee’s great-grandmother over a hundred years ago that I had worn at my wedding. It was the family heirloom, handed down to all the women on their wedding day. The jewelry always went back to Meridee, and would until her passing, at which time it would go to Kitty, then me. Meridee was loaning it to Vivi and officially extending our family.

  “It will work as something old and something borrowed,” Meridee said, taking it from Vivi and helping her pin it to her bra. “It’s worn for luck and longevity, although in recent years, the longevity factor seems to be wearin’ off a bit.” Meridee scowled at Kitty, then me.

  “Touché, Mother,” Kitty remarked.

  “Oh, Meridee, the brooch is stunning. I am honored.”

  “Pretty laaadieees,” Coco sang, appearing in the doorway of the bathroom beauty shop. “How y’all doin’ in here? We are about an hour or so out from the big event.”

  After Coco oohed and aahed over our transformations, he said to Vivi, “We have a place downstairs set up for the bridesmaids as they arrive. Your cousins Abigail and Annabelle just called to say they’re almost here. Your two sorority sisters, Mary Elizabeth and Patricia Catherine, are already downstairs and getting dressed in a room off the front parlor.”

  He went over to the window and pulled the drape back with a flourish. “And there is not a chicken, rooster or feather in sight, unless I put them there. The swans are swimming peacefully in their fountain pond, and Jean-Pierre is finishing up the cake tables now. This wedding is gonna be stunning.”

  We all rushed to the window. I’d never been so thankful to have hired the Fru Fru boys.

  Vivi sighed in relief. “It all looks so wonderful.”

  “Okay, my job here is done. Y’all are up to date. Ta-ta.” He left and sashayed down the stairs.

  Vivi began to fiddle with the brooch again. “This means a lot to me, Meridee.”

  “It’s been passed down from our ancestors, but I have never found out who or which ones. Maybe the luck of the Irish is blessed into it. Take good care of it and give it back to me later,” Meridee said. “Okay, sugar, apply your perfume, and then where are your pearls?”

  Vivi spritzed on her signature Chloé scent, then touched the small, navy blue velvet pouch. She gently untied the black silk drawstring and pulled the baby pearls from the bag. “Daddy gave me these when I was just a child. He told me I would wear them on my wedding day.” She smiled with tears in her eyes. “I wish he could be here.”

  “I’m sure he is with you right now,” I said. “He is so proud of you.” I placed the pearls around Vivi’s neck and fixed the clasp.

  We all were looking into the big, lighted mirror at Vivi. Twyla put Vivi’s hair loosely up in a chignon at the nape of her neck, with tendrils hanging down and tiny pearl pins stuck throughout her auburn locks. Her lips were a simple blush pink to match the tulle in her dress. It actually l
ooked like we were going to pull this wedding off without another hitch.

  Then the screen door slammed downstairs and we heard Sonny yell out, “Where is everybody?”

  “Up here!” I called.

  Sonny arrived at the bathroom door, breathless. “Didn’t know if y’all have heard, but Bama just went into overtime.”

  Well, shit.

  46

  Vivi was on the phone with Lewis and she was about to go to pieces. “But you have to get here, baby, and the traffic’s gonna be a nightmare. What are you gonna do?” She listened, but still revved higher. “Please just come as fast as you can. I’ll be waiting at the altar.” Vivi hung up. “What the hell? We got a hundred and fifty people on their way and the game’s in overtime,” Vivi said, her eyes filled with worry. “I was such a fool to plan this wedding for today.”

  “Now listen to me, Vivi.” Kitty broke up the panic. “Your Lewis will get here, and we’re all gonna be ready. There’s plenty of good food, drink and company to keep folks occupied if we have to wait. No more tears. Meridee’s gonna run outta makeup if you keep this up. Now, who needs a margarita? I know I do.” She locked arms with Sonny. “Take me to the open bar, dear. Momma needs some sauce, and my man Charlie ought to be here any minute.”

  Sonny leaned over to kiss my cheek on his way out, and nobody said a thing. I could hear Kitty’s jangling bracelets and chatting all the way down the stairs.

  Meridee and Sweetie were heading downstairs, too. Twyla packed up her things while talking on her cell phone, then headed down after them. They’d all be close at hand should a hair, dress or makeup emergency arrive, but for now, Vivi and I were the only ones left in the bathroom.

  She looked over to me. “Kitty’s right. I need to just go with the flow. Everyone will find something to do in case he’s late.”

  I got up and walked over to the large window that looked down over the grove. More people were starting to arrive. “No one looks stir-crazy yet.”

  Sonny had hooked up the radio through the speakers in the trees and the game was on for everybody to hear. We had about an hour till showtime.