by Laura Wylde
“Fucking…wow…” I gushed into Garret’s mouth, as Jakar’s magic fingers slipped around the front of my hips and he instantly found my clit. It seemed like he was just as much of an expert with his hands as his mouth. His teeth sunk into my shoulder as he bucked and flicked his fingers, giving me an indication of how much he was enjoying my body. It really did feel like this was exactly where I was meant to be, like my life needed to be here.
With Garret’s incredible body in front of me, my hands all over him, and Jakar fucking me phenomenally from behind, with Trevor’s excited eyes all over us, the scent of pleasure still wafting from him, it was perfect.
“Reese, I…” Garret whispered, his voice shaking as the pleasure crept up through him. “I… lo…”
He didn’t get to finish that sentence because the pleasure exploded from him, soaking all over my body. His seed hit me all over, claiming me in his own special way. I loved it, the way it felt as my naked flesh was covered in him, it was Garret’s own special way of claiming me. Playful, a bit like his personality…
“Shit, Jakar!” My toes curled as his thrusts tilted me once more. My veins fizzed with space dust, the pleasure buzzed and screamed. He was dragging me deep under the ocean of pleasure once more, and I loved it. Garret and Trevor circled me as my body stiffened and shattered, and I lost myself. Their hands were all over me, their lips kissing me, as I experienced an even more powerful orgasm than the first time around. “Fuck, all of you are…”
I glanced at each man in turn, smiling proudly and happily as they all looked at me with intense loving emotions. I had no idea what was going to happen next, which way my life would turn, but I didn’t want to focus on the future. Just the incredible present which had turned out to be the best night of my life so far…
The sun rose up slowly over the city of Panthera, warming up my bones as it did, but it didn’t do anything to settle the strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. The butterfly wings that were almost anxiety. I wasn’t sure why I felt that way, why I wasn’t happy and sated after that amazing night last night, but something didn’t sit right.
It was incredible, I reminded myself. I loved every damn moment of it.
It wasn’t like I thought I’d been used either, that I was going to be ignored and discarded now. The panthers weren’t like that, they didn’t see women as objects like a lot of human men, but still…something was off.
I sighed sadly, wishing desperately that I could put my finger on it. If I could just know why I felt all weird then I could sort it out. The last thing I wanted to do was upset the guys by acting moody and distant the night after we finally caved to temptation and sated our cravings. I didn’t want them to believe they’d done something wrong. That would leave Garret subdued and quiet, Trevor would cut himself off, and Jakar would get silently mad. It would be an unnecessarily unpleasant scene. I wanted to avoid that at all costs.
“Is it because they’re panthers?” I muttered quietly so no one could over hear me, not that there was anyone around to listen in. For the first time ever, I had gotten up before everyone else. “Is there some kind of internal prejudice about this that I don’t even know about? Some kind of subconscious thing?”
But that didn’t feel right. I was fine with who they were. Sure, when I really thought about it, there were moments it was still strange to think about animal shifters in the world, because it was so unlike anything that I assumed was possible, but I had more than accepted it. I didn’t think that would make me feel weird…
“Kayla,” I suddenly announced, the answer obvious. “She will know. I need to speak to her.”
I jumped to my feet and placed my cup down beside me, forgoing the water as I decided what to do. Sure, it was early, but she was my friend and my only true confidant in this place. The only person who could fully understand what I was going through anyway. She had been where I was and overcome it, so I needed to speak to her now. She had told me that I could talk to her whenever I needed to anyway, which applied to this moment for sure.
I raced towards Kayla’s house, my heart pounding and my brain racing as I did. I knocked on the door probably harder than I should have done because I was so desperate to see her.
“Come on, come on, come on…” I muttered needily. “Kayla, help me, I need you to help me…”
The door swung open, but it wasn’t Kayla looking back at me. Damien’s eyes were staring back at me.
“Uh oh.” He narrowed his eyes at me, immediately spotting my emotional state. “You want Kayla?”
I nodded, unable to form words to him, and followed where he led me. Once he’d called Kayla into speak to me, he headed into the kitchen and I could hear him making us drinks. It was almost funny that the panthers still had the human tradition for immediately making drinks for guests, particularly emotional ones.
“Reese, what’s going on?” Kayla demanded while hastily tying her robe up. “Are you okay? It isn’t like you to burst in here so early. Are you having some kind of an emergency? Has something happened?”
I paused, waiting for Damien to bring in our drinks and to go before I spoke out. The last thing I wanted for any of the panthers to over hear the awkward conversation that I was about to have. They were bound to tell them.
“Okay, Reese, I’m worried now,” Kayla warned. “You’re freaking me out.”
“I… yes, something did happen,” I murmured back. “Something good… but it feels all wrong.”
She leaned closer to me and took my hand, giving me a seriously sympathetic look. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on, Reese. If there is someone that needs their ass kicking, I will do it.”
“Even that heavily pregnant?” I couldn’t resist asking. “You’d probably still win. But no, I don’t need anyone’s ass kicking. I just need some advice from you about the…mating rituals of this place.”
Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Ooh, why, are you thinking about taking things to the next level?”
A heat raced through my body, I wasn’t sure if was the memory or the embarrassment. “Actually, things already happened. Last night actually. And it was…well, it was amazing at the time. The best that I have ever had. It was off the scale. Utterly phenomenal. I didn’t know it was possible for it to be that good.”
“Oh, I know. Tell me about it!” Kayla grinned, the memories of her own sexual encounters tearing through her and crossing her expression. “The panthers are just amazing in bed. They know female bodies so well. I bet you feel utterly incredible today, don’t you? Are you just buzzing and all like…on fire?”
God, I wanted to be. I yearned for that. I so needed that feeling. Why the hell wasn’t I all happy?
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know how I feel. I’m a little bit…empty.” Guilt flooded me as I admitted this, but it was really important to get it out if I wanted some advice. “This morning I feel like something was missing. I didn’t notice it at the time, I was completely consumed by them all, but now, I don’t know…”
“Hmm, that is strange. I never felt that way. I was really happy afterwards.” As she narrowed her eyes at me, I wondered if she was thinking the same way as me, that I didn’t actually belong here after all. If I wasn’t going to live here though, I didn’t know if I belonged back in New York City either. I wasn’t sure what there was for me. “What happened? Maybe if you tell me a bit about it, then I will be able to see.”
“What, like talk about it?” I gasped. “Won’t that be a bit… eird?”
I hadn’t ever been that girl, the one who could share sexual stories with girlfriends like it was normal.
“I don’t know.” Kayla shrugged. “I don’t know how else we can work it out.”
Damn it, she was right. I was going to have to swallow my pride and get over it. I nodded and began.
“Well, I was kissing Trevor and Garret, something that has happened before, but this time it was different…it was clearly going somewhere. I could feel
it all over me. I was scared, but excited as well. I was willing to see how it would go…but then Jakar walked in and interrupted us. I thought he was going to yell for some reason, but he didn’t. He actually walked over to me and joined in, taking things to the next level very quickly in his commanding way.” A small smile played on my lips. “It just got hot and heavy from there…”
“Wait, it was just the three of them?” Kayla asked. “Where was Dean in all of this?”
“I…I don’t know where Dean was. At his place, I presume.”
“Ah, well I can tell you what your issue was right away. The pack mentality was missing, there needs to be all four of them for it to feel the best it can ever be.”
“Oh.” Four wasn’t quite so intimidating now that I’d been with three. “That’s how it is, huh? The only problem is Dean still isn’t that keen on me, and I don’t think that’s going to change.”
Kayla smiled and glanced away from me, a knowing look in her eyes. “I don’t think that Dean dislikes you at all. I think you have it all wrong. I think he might like you more than you think. He’s just afraid.”
Hmm, that idea was a new one…and one that helped me a lot because I really wanted to belong here more than ever. “So, what do you think that I should do, Kayla? How can I make this right?”
“Go find Dean! Go and speak to him. Make this right. You can!”
She was right. I could do this. I just needed to try.
Dean
I tossed and turned, unable to relax for even a moment. I had been that way all night long. There was a disturbance in the atmosphere, and I couldn’t shake it off. Lying here was a waste of time. I needed to get up, go out, and have a run. If only I could have gone into the jungle and shifted to burn off this excess…whatever it was, but my punishment meant I needed to remain in the city. At least until the meeting with the jaguars was over.
“They will see,” I muttered darkly as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “They will all see.”
I was sticking to what Jakar told me to do because I knew that his mind would change the moment he actually spoke to the jaguars. He’d dismissed them without even giving them a chance. It wasn’t right. Old prejudice didn’t need to exist in this world. We could work with the jaguars to make it a better place for future generations…the generations that would come to be a part of both of us. I wasn’t sure what would happen to Kayla, but that wasn’t my issue. I had a feeling that mixing with the humans would quickly become a thing of the past. A mistake.
I ignored the way my breath got stuck in my throat as that idea fluttered through my brain. Kayla going would mean Reese leaving too. She might not have been here long, but our time together was hard on me. It shifted something in me that I didn’t want to be moved. She dragged my focus from my research, which I didn’t think I’d ever do. She was complicated, what she did to me was complex, and it was a journey.
Even if it was hard, having her go would be good for me. For all of us. Humans here wasn’t the natural way of things, it wasn’t right. It was dangerous, it risked everything. We needed to stop it before it got out of hand. I could see the future if we traveled down that path, and it wouldn’t be good. Eventually, we’d be destroyed. Human men wouldn’t want us interacting with their women, history had shown how they reacted to change, and it was always with violence. We didn’t have enough of us left to survive another war.
I dragged a pair of trousers on and a tee shirt before heading outside. The early morning sun washed over me, but it didn’t do anything to dull my mood. This was the closest to an emotional wreck that I’d ever been.
I ran. Running in human form wasn’t as satisfying as when I was an animal, but it was the best I had right now. I pumped my feet hard on the ground, trying to shed off the anger like it was a second skin. I thought of the snake and how he just took his scales off to remove everything dead and no longer needed. If only feelings worked the same way.
I ended up outside the secluded office which was once used all the time but had since become my unofficial research room. This was where I kept all the stuff, I didn’t mind other people seeing. Where I sat when I didn’t mind people talking to me. I wasn’t in that mood right now, but no one would be awake at this time.
Or so I thought…but as I stepped inside and I noticed a figure sitting in my office chair, my heart stopped beating.
“Reese?” I gasped out, shocked. “What are you doing awake? What are you doing here?”
Was I supposed to be with her already? I was her guardian at the moment, had I forgotten something? That wasn’t like me, I was usually incredibly meticulous, but Reese had shattered my brain a little.
“Dean.” Her eyes flickered up to look at me. “I wanted to talk to you about some things, if you don’t mind.”
I remained silent for a few moments though, studying her carefully. There was something different in her today, something had changed dramatically since the last time I saw her…which was only yesterday.
“You…you want to talk to me?” I stammered. “What do you want to talk about?”
I took a step closer to her, and instantly inhaled a brand new scent circling her. A scent that I recognized well. It belonged to Jakar…I sniffed again. And Garret....Something had happened with them. Another step allowed me to smell Trevor as well, and it quickly became clear what had happened. She mated with them.
Jealousy twisted in my gut, an angry green sensation that transformed into bile and nearly made me puke. I clutched on to my belly hard, almost dizzy with it all. I didn’t like it one bit. Was it because I’d been left out of something with my pack, or because it was Reese and despite myself, I wanted to be with her? Even though it defied everything I believed in, everything I wanted for myself and the pack. She was human, the enemy…it was wrong.
“I wanted to speak about me and you,” Reese continued as if she couldn’t sense my intense inner turmoil. “If that’s okay? I know that it’s been a bit problematic, and the last thing I want is to make it all awkward, but...well, I don’t know. I don’t think that we can just continue as we were anymore. What do you think, Dean?”
After what had happened, and very recently, she was right. Everything had shifted now, nothing would ever be the same again. Not only was it going to make it an issue when the jaguars arrived because both packs had a human mate…well, it made me confront the feelings that I was trying my best to push right down.
“Yes,” I rasped back while averting my eyes. If I just didn’t look at her then it would be okay. “I think so.”
“Right. I see, so my presence is the first issue for you, isn’t it? You don’t like me being here.”
“I don’t think that’s the case. It isn’t anything personal against you as such…”
“But you don’t mind Kayla?” she asked, demanding more from me than she had ever asked before. “So, it has to be to do with me. I don’t mind if it is personal, but I would just like to know that.”
I took a seat on the other chair in the room and stared at my feet. How the hell was I going to have this discussion? I didn’t have emotions, never mind discussing them, least of all with the one person who knocked me off kilter.
“It isn’t you,” I breathed out. “I can assure you of that. I l…like you. You’re a nice person. What you did for me when Jakar was going to banish me was the nicest thing that’s ever been done. And I know that I didn’t deserve it.”
“You didn’t deserve to be sent away. That’s why I stood up for you. It was the right thing to do…but that isn’t the only reason I did it,” she admitted, with far more honesty and ease than I felt. “I did it because I think you and I could have a connection. I don’t know in what way, but I’m sure there could be something between us if your walls came down just a little bit. You’re blocking me out, and it’s fine, but it means you aren’t giving me a chance to get to know you, to show you who I am, to see if there could even be a friendship. Even during this time where we have spent a lot of time
just me and you, we haven’t gotten to know each other one bit. And we do have a lot in common. I am very interested in your scientific mind and your research. I would love to see it all.”
I hated how her words cut me to the core. No wonder I was an outsider. No wonder the pack didn’t include me in things and Reese didn’t see me as a nice person. Because I hadn’t acted that way. I was horrible.
“I’m sorry, Reese, I don’t mean to be…that way. This is just…confusing for me.”
“Why?” She leaned forward in her chair to examine me. It was uncomfortable, almost like she could see right into my soul, but I couldn’t run. I just needed to let her see me if this was going to work. “Why is it confusing?”
“Because I have done all that I can to prove that our best genetic chance is with the jaguars if we want to continue on. I have fought that, as you have seen. I have tried to fight against the idea of human mates. Humans to me prove to be a risk. If the human race finds out about our existence, then it could be trouble…”
“But there are humans who know about you, and nothing bad has happened yet.”
“A few choice humans.” I nodded slowly. “But the more we let in, the higher the risk becomes.”
A thick silence swam around us. I had to force my eyes off the floor to try and see how she was feeling. She was good at keeping a lot inside, her facial expression was stoic, but she couldn’t hide what was in her eyes. She didn’t yet know what I meant by this and how to digest it. To be fair, I didn’t either.
“So, you still want to pursue things with the jaguars then? You haven’t changed your mind about that?”
