Make Me Crave
Page 11
He couldn’t say it. Even talking about the gym in more abstract forms had caused her to shut him out. Trying to talk more explicitly was a recipe for disaster. He had to play the game within the terms they’d set out. It was the only way.
“You’re not even listening.” She didn’t say it like she was mad—just stating a fact.
“I am.” Roman managed a smile. “That boss you had at the campus gym sounds like a real piece of work—though he should have been reported for forcing you to be in those conditions.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Okay, that’s a neat trick. You were a million miles away, but you still retained everything I said. That’s nuts.”
“Necessary evil.” Though he’d never once been called on it before now. “I learned early in my career that it’s best to have several options for plans by the end of a meeting with a new client—that means listening to what they’re saying while still thinking strategically to create a game plan. They fill out preliminary information, of course, but until I meet them face-to-face, I rarely know exactly what they’re looking for.” He shrugged. “Some things sound better on paper than they are in reality.”
Allie bit her bottom lip, and he could see the conflict clear on her face. “Okay, I’ll bite—tell me about your job. Broad strokes, please.”
Easy enough, though he couldn’t help feeling it was a test. “I am a glorified numbers monkey. I research various businesses that look like good investments and then line up investors that will fit well with them. The ultimate outcome varies. Sometimes they take it to the ground level and build it up again. Sometimes they expand. Sometimes they franchise. Usually it’s successful for both business and investor and I get a nice fat bonus.”
“Depends on your definition of successful, doesn’t it?”
He knew where she was going with this, and as much as he didn’t want to fight, maybe it was better to get it out there now and expose the elephant in the room. “I won’t pretend that every business owner is thrilled with the process, but most of the time the alternative is rock bottom and losing everything they worked their ass off to accomplish. Sometimes compromise is necessary.”
She looked directly at him with those big blue eyes. “And do you ever compromise, Roman?”
* * *
Allie should have...well, she should have done a lot of things. She regretted the question as soon as she put it to voice—like she regretted much of what she’d said around Roman since they’d met. She pushed to her feet. “Never mind. We just got through saying we shouldn’t talk about this—should keep it light—and we keep doing the exact opposite of that.”
There was one thing they were good at—better than good at.
She slid her thumbs into the band of her skirt and pushed it down in a smooth move. The top took a little more effort, but she managed to unhook it and drop it without looking like a total fool. Roman hadn’t moved once, but his knuckles were white where he held on to the table. He managed to tear his gaze from her breasts to her face. “What are you doing?”
“We’re going to ruin this by talking too much. I don’t want to ruin it.”
Still, he didn’t move. “It’s okay for us to disagree on things. It’s unrealistic to think that we’d match up on every subject the way we match up physically.”
She knew that. Of course she knew that. Only a child or an idiot thought there was such a thing as a perfect relationship. Everyone had problems, though most of the time they weren’t as catastrophic as her parents’ had been.
But this wasn’t a relationship. She had to keep reminding herself of that, and that was as much a problem as anything.
She shook her head. “That’s the thing—this is fantasy. There is no room for disagreements in fantasy. I want you. You want me. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Allie—”
She turned and strode into the darkness. He’d follow. He’d be unable to help himself. And then they’d get their hands on each other and all her conflicting feelings would disappear for a while. That was what she wanted. She already had a complicated life. She didn’t have room for more complications—even if they arrived in a package that made her body ache and her heart beat too hard.
Sex was easier. Sex was safe.
Even if it didn’t feel particularly safe as she hit the sand and kept going. The wildness of the island was closer to the surface here, with the villa lights seeming at a distance and the stars a blanket overhead. The soft shushing sound of the water sliding over the sand let her draw her first full breath since she and Roman had started talking about things better left unsaid.
She tilted her head back and inhaled deeply, taking the salty air into her lungs and letting it chase away her worries. She was still on vacation, no matter how stubbornly real life kept trying to intrude. Relaxation was the name of the game and Allie would be damned if she was drawn back into all the crap before she was good and ready.
Footsteps padded behind her, and she didn’t turn to watch Roman approach. She wouldn’t be able to see more than the outline of him, and it was better to soak up what little peace she could as she waited to see if he’d let the conversation go.
He stopped next to her, close enough that his shoulder brushed against hers. “You can’t run from this forever.”
“I’m not running from anything.” Liar. “I’m holding to the arrangement we made. Everything can wait until we leave West Island.” What happened then... No, she wasn’t going to talk about it. She wasn’t even going to think about it.
“Allie...” His exhale was lost in the sound of the small waves hitting their feet. “This is what you really want? For me to fuck you until neither of us is capable of words and we just ignore everything unspoken between us?”
This was the moment of truth. If she said she’d changed her mind about their bargain, she had a feeling Roman wouldn’t judge her for it. He seemed to want to talk—actually talk. Maybe he was starting to feel the same thing she was—that this thing between them wasn’t just about mutual orgasms.
That maybe it could be more.
All she had to do was tell him that she was willing to talk.
But when she opened her mouth, it was cowardice that won. “We can talk when we’re in New York.”
He turned to face her, his expression lost in the darkness. “Promise me that we will.”
“What?”
“Promise me that you won’t run when we get back. You’ll have dinner with me and we’ll talk.”
It’ll never happen. It sounded good in theory right now, beneath the stars and with their bodies gravitating toward one another, but once they got back to the city and were grounded in their real lives, it wouldn’t hold up. He’d get busy. She’d have to cancel a few times. They’d both lose interest and move on with their lives.
The thought made her chest ache, but she set it aside just like everything else she’d set aside since she came here. “I promise.”
Roman shifted closer, sliding his hands over her hips and up her back, fitting her body against his. He’d stripped before following her out here, and all his skin against all of hers sent a delicious thrill through her. He kept calling her beautiful, but he was a work of art. “Adonis.”
“Aphrodite.” He lifted her easily so she could wrap her legs around his waist. “Let’s go swimming.”
She didn’t protest as he walked them into the ocean. Roman didn’t go far, stopping as the water lapped the bottom of her breasts. It felt absolutely wicked to be out here in the dark with him. Even if it’d been broad daylight, no one would have seen them, but the thrill of the risk still heightened every sensation.
The water teasing her breasts. The slick slide of his skin against hers. The feel of his breath ghosting across her lips.
She arched against him, trying to take his mouth, but Roman dodged her kiss. “Do you know the legend of Aphrodite?�
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She blinked. “Yes, of course. She came from the sea.” The words were barely past her lips when Roman launched her away from him. She was airborne for a single breathless second and then she hit the water and went under.
Allie surfaced with a curse that turned into a laugh. “You’re crazy.”
“Come on. You can’t skinny-dip in the Caribbean without horsing around a bit.” He splashed her and then disappeared beneath the surface.
Allie skittered back, searching the inky water for a sign of him, but the only warning she got was a hand around her ankle and then he pulled her under. They twisted beneath the surface and tangled together. She used his shoulders to shove him farther down and push herself up for a breath.
And then his arms were around her waist and he was hauling them closer to shore. His cock pressed against the small of her back and her breath hitched in her throat. “Playtime’s over.”
She laughed at the cheesy line, but the sound came out strained. “You just wanted to get me all wet.”
“Mmm.” He cupped her breasts and rolled her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. “Come on. As much as I need you right here, right now, the condoms are back in the villa.”
She almost threw caution to the wind and said it didn’t matter. Allie clamped her mouth shut to keep the words inside and nodded sharply. Unprotected sex with Roman, no matter how much she wanted him in that moment, was the worst possible idea. “Yes. Villa. Now.”
Before she did something they’d both regret.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ROMAN CARRIED ALLIE across the sand. He ignored the tension bleeding into her body the farther they got from the waves. Too much time to think. They were being so damn careful not to edge too close to subjects that would put them at odds with each other, but he craved that part of her as much as he wanted the rest. Allie wasn’t just the beautiful siren who looked so at home in the sun and sand, with the turquoise water creating the perfect backdrop.
She was a strong woman who hadn’t let circumstances beyond her control beat her. She’d fought tooth and nail to accomplish so much in such a short time, and it was a fucking tragedy that it hadn’t gone according to plan. He didn’t want her to lose Transcend any more than she wanted to lose it, if only because he now recognized the pain it would cause.
Roman would go to extraordinary lengths to save Allie from whatever pain he could.
He padded up the porch steps and headed straight for the bedroom. She wouldn’t thank him for ruining their good mood with serious talking, and she might go so far as to leave if he tried to broach the forbidden topic. There wasn’t a damn thing Roman could do to change that, and he wasn’t used to being so effectively painted into a corner.
He couldn’t use words to reassure Allie.
But he could use his body.
“Roman?” The hesitance in her tone killed him.
He set her on her feet but didn’t release her. Naked and wet from the ocean, she really did look like a siren who’d been sent to tempt him. Allie blinked those big blue eyes. “Are we okay?”
“Yeah.” Not as okay as I want us to be. He liked Allie. He admired her strength. He wanted to bolster it, to be the immovable object she could lean on when she needed it. If there was one thing he was sure about when it came to the woman in his arms, it was that she didn’t allow herself to rest, to pass the burden on to another.
He wanted to bear all her burdens, at least for a little while.
Roman framed her face with his hands and stroked his thumbs over her cheekbones. “I want it to be just us while we’re here. No past, no worrying about the future. Just you, Allie, and me, Roman. Two people enjoying their time together.”
“That sounds good.” She bit her bottom lip. “But I don’t know if it’s possible to just put all that aside and pretend it’s not there.”
“Aphrodite.” He kissed the spot on her lip where there was still an indent from her teeth. “Nothing exists but us. The goddess of love and her Adonis.”
She laughed a little. “You know that myth didn’t end happily, right?”
“It’s Greek mythology. There are no happy endings.” He shifted to kiss her stubborn chin. “Fuck them. This is our story.”
Her hesitation was so brief, it might not have existed. “Yes. Tonight. The next three days. You and me. I’m in.”
As much as Roman didn’t want any kind of limit, he knew when not to push his luck. Allie had given him more than he’d hoped, and he’d have to be happy with it. “I’m taking you to bed now.”
“Finally.” She gave a dramatic sigh. “I thought we’d never get to the good part.”
“All of it is the good part.” He walked her back to the bed and laid her down, leaning over her. “Tell me what you want. Your wish is my command tonight.”
“Just tonight?” There it was again, the slightest hint of vulnerability.
Not just tonight. Always. Promises he had no business making rose, pressing against the inside of his lips like live things. He’d known he wanted Allie, but the realization that he had only three days left with her pulsed up inside him, desperation building with each heartbeat. He looked down at her, her open expression of need cleaving into his chest as if she’d actually struck him. I don’t want to lose you. He swallowed hard. “We’ll start with tonight and see how it goes.”
Her grin brought out an answering one from him. “Kiss me, Adonis.” She arched up, pressing all of her body against all of his. “Touch me. Hold me. Fuck me.”
There was no room in this night for fucking. They’d passed that point days ago, though he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when Allie went from a gorgeous woman who drove him out of his mind to a woman whose inside was just as compelling as how she felt when she rode his cock. It wasn’t just sex between them, no matter what lies she told herself.
Maybe it never had been that uncomplicated.
Roman joined her on the bed and kissed the long line of her neck. “Here.” He shifted to the side so he had full access to her body, and moved to the curve of her shoulder. “Perhaps here.”
She shivered. “I could think of a few places I’d like.”
“I bet you could.” He urged her onto her side so he could fit himself against her back. The position gave him free reign, and he wasted no time cupping her full breasts, weighing them in his hands. “Open your eyes.”
She obeyed and froze when she met his gaze in the reflection of the windows across from the bed. The deep darkness outside and the single lamp he’d left on inside created a mirror of the glass.
Roman pressed an openmouthed kiss to the back of her neck and retreated just enough for his breath to ghost over the damp skin. She shivered and arched her back against him, pressing her breasts more firmly into his hands. “That feels good.”
“I’m just getting started.” He lightly pinched her nipples, rolling the tight buds between his fingers. “I love how rosy your skin gets when you like what I’m doing to you.”
She lifted her head and frowned. “The reflection isn’t that damn good.”
“No. It’s not.” He skated a hand down her stomach and hooked her thigh, lifting her leg up and setting her foot behind his legs. It left her open for him and he delighted in her shiver. “Cold?”
Allie reached back to run her fingers through his hair. “I’m burning up. Touch me, Adonis.”
He loved it when she called him that. It was something they alone shared. Something special and meaningful. Roman dragged a single fingertip over the inside of her thigh, teasing her. “Where do you want me to touch you?”
“You know where.”
“Mmm. I might.” He palmed her pussy, and cursed when he found her warm and wet and wanting. “This is where you want me.” He traced her opening. “Where you’re aching with need.”
“Yes.” She shifted her hips to guide hi
m, but he nipped her shoulder. Allie hissed out a breath. “Bossy.”
“Always.” He spread her wetness up and over her clit and circled the little bud of nerves with the pad of his finger. “You love it.”
“Maybe.”
“Definitely.” Roman pushed two fingers into her, stroking her leisurely while he watched her face. Her sinful lips parted and her blue eyes went hazy. “My Aphrodite.” He released her long enough to reach over and snag a condom.
“Let me.” Allie turned in his arms and plucked it out of his hand. She ripped it open and then gripped his cock. A stroke. Two. The desire in her eyes a match to the furnace inside him. “You shouldn’t be this perfect, you know? It’s got to be a mathematical improbability.”
He barked out a laugh. “Not perfect. Never that.” He had more than his share of faults. He always had. Too selfish. Too driven, often at the expense of his relationships. Too stubborn by half.
“Well, obviously.” She rolled the condom over him, taking her time. “I was talking about your cock, Adonis.”
That surprised another laugh out of him despite the fact she started stroking him again. “Quite the backhanded compliment.”
“Only if you want to look at it that way.” She nudged his shoulder, pushing him onto his back. Allie climbed on top of him and ran her hands up his chest. “Seriously, though. You don’t have a single physical imperfection. I’ve never had a man take my breath away just by looking at him, and you do.”
He looked at her, this woman that he’d never planned on. She was trying so fucking hard to keep as many barriers up between them as she could. Easier to focus on the physical than to admit that he might not be as evil as she’d assumed. To admit that she liked him for more than his ability to make her come hard enough to see stars.
Allie positioned his cock at her entrance and sank onto him in a slow movement. Her eyes fluttered closed and her pink lips parted. “Oh, God.” She rolled her hips a little, adjusting. “I always think I can anticipate how good it will feel, and I’m always wrong.”
“Because it’s me.”