Flicker (Defying Death Book 1)

by Courtney Houston

  My day dragged on, and on, and fucking on. Every movement I caught from the corner of my eye, every small noise in the house, had me jumping. Hopeful. Willing it to be Telor. It was weird, I could almost close my eyes and imagine what he was doing. Finally, around nine thirty, after exhausting any and all other activities I could find to keep my mind occupied, I took the stairs two at a time to my room.

  No Telor. It was not like I expected him to be waiting in my room, but his absence still made my stomach drop a little. Grabbing one of the books I rarely got to read, I settled on the bed and dove in. It was one of my favorites, about angels, soul mates, and the impossible but real.

  I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, warm arms encircled my waist and a hard chest replaced my pillow.

  “I missed you today,” I mumbled into his chest. I felt the gentle shaking of silent laughter as it rumbled below me.

  “I missed you, too.” He kissed my hair. “Sorry I came so late. I got hung up with Guide stuff. Keeping the boss off my back. Cheyenne can only do so much.”

  “Sounds awful.” I tried to will my eyes open, but they didn’t seem to want to cooperate. His presence, as always, was a balm that my beaten soul needed badly.

  “Sweet dreams,” he whispered in my ear as he started humming the song that he’d sung to me, what felt like forever ago, and pressed a flutter of a kiss to my lips. I lost my battle to stay awake, wrapped in the bliss of his arms.

  Lina 28

  So, we settled into a routine. For the next couple of weeks, Telor waited for me at the corner every morning, and we walked to work together. After, we would go our separate ways, and when the rest of Saebo was sleeping, he would sneak into my room, where we would talk about anything and everything, as he held me against him until we fell asleep. In the morning, we would start all over.

  We rarely touched in front of people, even Seline, but that didn’t mean we never stole a kiss in the dark at work or trailed our hands over each other as we passed. As much as I knew I did the right thing in breaking up with Gavin, and even though he was being sort of a jerk, he didn’t deserve this smack in the face. Lucky for me, Telor understood and agreed. We would have time for that later, I hoped.

  “What are you doing?” Telor asked, voice strained, upon entering my office.

  Of all the times for him to come in, it had to be when I was on my hands and knees with my ass in the air, hanging halfway out from under my desk. I’m sure he wasn’t complaining about the view.

  “Looking for an extension cord,” I said and wiggled out from under the table.

  I rushed to his side. The magnetic sensation Telor elicited was working overtime. It almost physically hurt not to reach out and touch him. He also seemed to be fighting some internal battle with himself, his jaw tightening and hands fisting at his sides.

  “I’ll help you look for one,” he said, moving out of the doorway.

  His arm brushed mine as he walked by, sending a shock through my body. Nearly panting, I struggled with the urge to pull him to my desk and kiss him like I wanted to.

  To hell with self-control.

  Tugging on his hand, I pulled him to a stop. He turned to me, his questioning gaze meeting mine. Using the front of his shirt, I yanked him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms automatically went around my waist and my legs around his middle. The internal ache penetrating my body from the distance between us all but vanished the moment my lips touched his.

  Moving my mouth hungrily against his, I fought to tame the fire burning inside me. It was as if Telor was water and the only way to douse my flames was to get as close to him as possible. The pounding of my heart in my ears and the sting of Telor’s hands gripping my hips completely drowned out the world around me.

  Since the first time his lips touched mine, I knew I was a goner. There was no going back from Telor. Rightness I had never felt before settled deep into my soul with every second we touched. I wanted to run to the street and scream to everyone how he made me feel.

  Roughly, my ass made contact with the edge of my desk, and I used the momentum of his aggressiveness to pull him down so he was flush against my chest, while my back separated and flattened stacks of papers. I was rewarded with a low moan as he forcefully pulled my hips against his and deepened his kiss, stealing what little breath I had. His fingers dug into my sides, grasping to keep me against him.

  When my hands untangled themselves from his messy black hair and slid into the front of his shirt, he stiffened and pulled away. Much to my disappointment.

  “Extension cord?” he asked, his tone husky with need. I was playing with fire, and I knew it. Someone could see us; that was for sure. I didn’t care, though. With every day he was with me, I cared less and less about what anyone else might think.

  “Right,” I said, though I made no attempt to move, and neither did he.

  Seconds, minutes, hell, maybe even hours passed as our chests rose and fell together. There was a lot being said between us in those heavy breaths. Finally, he released me.

  “Do you have plans tonight?” he asked abruptly.

  “I assumed we would be doing our usual,” I answered. “Why?”

  “Care for a little change?” A small smile threatened the corners of his mouth as he tried to remain serious.

  “What did you have in mind?” I asked, curiosity piquing.

  “We have a date with Destiny.”

  It was already lunch. Like I blinked and boom, half the day had passed me by. Telor left right before noon, saying he needed to run some errands before tonight. So the remainder of my day didn’t go by nearly as quickly as the first half.

  Hovering in my office, I decided on whether to go home or just hang out here until it was time to meet up with Telor. But he had said he wouldn’t be back for a few hours, probably not until around seven or eight.

  I hated going home lately. It used to be my safe haven, one of the only places I felt wanted. The only two people in the world who loved me lived there. Now? Now, I wasn’t sure where I stood. With either of them, really. I had only seen Gavin once since I found all the things I’d given him in the garbage. We were in the kitchen, and he barely even acknowledged me. When I’d asked if he could pass me a bowl, he’d handed it to me without a word and left. Not uttering a single word or deigning to look in my direction.

  He had gotten good at spending his time away from the house. I was not sure which I preferred, though: him at home ignoring me, or him feeling like he couldn’t come home because I was there.

  I couldn’t worry about it right now. I wouldn’t worry about it right now. In a couple of hours, I was going to meet an...entity. I was going to meet Destiny. And hopefully, he would have some answers for us about what happened, about why it happened.

  Spreading three outfit choices on my bed, I deliberated over which one was the best. Telor said to wear something that was appropriate for a club, but not something that would call a lot of attention to myself. I returned the black sparkly dress to my closet, and I was left with a pair of skinny jeans paired with a black, backless silk shirt, or a white lacey halter-top, which was actually just a dress that was way too short, and a pair of black leggings.

  Being the indecisive person that I was, I snapped a picture of each and sent them both to Telor.

  Which one? What club are we going to? I texted him.

  The white thing. It’s called Serendipity

  Oh, the irony. How much longer?

  About an hour

  Okay, I could deal with an hour. Anticipation was the worst. Dressing quickly, I decided to do my makeup light. My hair, on the other hand, was a completely different story. Up? Down? I didn’t have time to straighten it.

  My phone chirped.

  Hey, beautiful, are you ready?

  Almost, front door is unlocked. Upstairs, third door on your left. I know you’re not used to coming in this way.

  I shook my head, putting my phone back on my dresser and checking the heat
on my curling iron. It was hot enough. I hastily added a few defined curls to my already wavy hair, setting them with a light spritz of hairspray just as Telor opened my bedroom door.

  He looked good. He had exchanged his dress pants for a pair of dark wash jeans and a tighter fitting gray button up with a black sports coat. His black hair curled slightly around his face, and his beautiful eyes gleamed with undiluted want behind his glasses. I wanted to take them off so I could see him fully. His mouth was slightly open and turned up on one side.

  “Wow,” he said, prowling into my room. “You look amazing.”

  “So do you,” I whispered as he came up to me, sliding his arms around my waist. The heat of his hands, even through my shirt, sent a small tremor through my body. My mouth went a little dry, and those flames I’d reduced to embers earlier were quickly becoming a full-fledged bonfire. He broke our embrace and moved to the other side of my room as I fastened my shoes.

  Telor surveyed the surroundings with a resigned smile, stopping to look at my pictures, running his hand over one of the many porcelain dolls on a shelf next to my dresser. He’d been in my room before, none of this was new to him. I wondered what he was thinking, or if he would tell me the truth if I asked. The urge to comfort him was almost unbearable. Walking quietly over to him, I wrapped my arms around his middle and pulled him to me, resting my head on his back. He placed his hands over mine, lacing our fingers together.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” he answered, though his voice was far away. He might have heard the question, but he wasn’t listening.

  “Liar,” I whispered. “Tell me.”

  “Are you and your brother close?”

  “We were. He’s dead.” I haven’t actually said that out loud for a long time. People were liars—it didn’t get easier. As much as it hurt to talk about Ollie, it hurt to watch Telor yearn for his lost ones more. Ones he never really got to mourn. “He and my dad died in a car accident when I was eight. Oliver was only seventeen; he was nine years older than me.”

  “Your mum?” he asked, his voice had gotten thicker. “She’s still around?”

  I let out a short bark of humorless laughter. “She’s still alive. But my mother has been gone for a long time. When they died, she drowned her sorrow at the bottom of any bottle she could find. I remind her of the family she lost, so she could barely stand to look at me. We don’t speak or see each other. Even though she lives barely ten miles away.”

  “I’m sorry, Cariad.”

  “Don’t be sad for me. It happened a long time ago,” I told him, sounding a lot stronger than I felt. Thinking of Dad and Ollie, or even my mom, always put a major chink in my armor. “Dad left me a five-hundred-thousand-dollar life insurance policy to make sure I was taken care of. That’s how I was able to go to school and move out of my mother’s house.”

  “Maybe your dad and brother left a long time ago. But you obviously still mourn the loss of the mother who is still here,” he said gently. “That, perhaps, is the worst kind of grief to bear.”

  Facing me, he wiped a lone tear off my cheek. When had I started crying?

  “What’s sad, Catalina?” His concern made me want to hold onto him tighter. As if hugs were the magical cure for everything.

  “Do you miss them?” I would imagine his void was deeper than mine, since he didn’t just lose two people he loved, but all of them.

  “Here and there. I don’t think about them.” His voice held a finality, and I was certain this conversation was over. Though, I had one more question, one that had been weighing on me for a while.

  “Do you know where they are?” The question was soft and fragile sounding.

  “Where who are?”

  “My dad and brother?”

  “No, sweetheart, I don’t.”

  Right. Of course he didn’t. There were probably millions of souls, why would he know the two that I cared about?

  “If…if I told you about them, how they looked, do you think you’d be able to find them?” The hopeful begging in my voice was painful for even me to hear.

  His smile sad, Telor pulled me to the bed and onto his lap. With a softness that frightened me, he cupped my face with his hands.

  “Cariad, listen to me: your father and brother are gone. They died a long time ago, and you’ve said goodbye. Their souls are still out there, and when it’s time, they will be reborn. You don’t want to reopen that wound.” He kissed me gently on the forehead. “Take comfort in the fact that they loved you very much. But please, I’m begging you, do not ask me to look for them.”

  I heard him. I did. I even saw his logic. But it didn’t stop the surge of loss that flowed through me. For a flicker of time, I had hoped to see them—just one last time—to tell them I loved them and give them one last hug. That hope was gone.

  “Not even just five minutes?” I tried for the last time.

  “I would very much advise against it.”

  I nodded numbly and buried myself into his neck. He held me a minute longer before speaking.

  “Ready to go?” he asked directly in my ear, doing exactly what he knew was going to drive me crazy, exactly what would distract me. And I couldn’t have been more thankful at the moment.

  “Yes,” I whispered back, letting him lead me from my room.

  We stopped outside the door to an old warehouse. There was apparently a club inside, though I didn’t hear a sound or see any cars. If this was actually a club, it was the best kept secret in Saebo.

  “Stay close to me, okay?” he said, his paranoia kicking in. If we were really in that much danger, why didn’t he just hole us up somewhere? “Denny isn’t exactly expecting us. I have a source who says he’ll be here tonight, though.” I nodded and took a shaky breath. I was a lot of talk earlier, pepping myself up for this. Now that we were here, I was scared to death. “You’re frightened.” It wasn’t a question. He could probably feel it in the air around me, just as I could feel the fierce protectiveness around him. I honestly didn’t think the devil himself could tear me away from Telor.

  “Well, we are sort of gate crashing,” I said. It wasn’t fear in the sense that I was afraid; it was the fear of not knowing what was coming. Fear of the unknown terrified me. “So, yeah, I’m a little nervous.”

  “Denny is relatively harmless.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his chest. He held me, absorbing some of my fear. “Our crashing of his party will mostly just amuse him. Hopefully.”

  “Hopefully?” I breathed, my heart thrumming wildly against my chest. “You’re not instilling a whole lot of confidence.”

  His fingers grazed the exposed skin of my shoulders. My heart was still beating a mile a minute, but from a different type of nerves. His touch combined with my already sketchy self-control reignited that desire from earlier. He released me and ran his fingers through my hair, stopping at the back of my head, where he wrapped my hair around his hand like a rope and tilted my head up so that our eyes met. His mouth brushed faintly against mine, and his teeth grazed my lower lip, causing a sharp intake of breath to mingle with the moan in my throat.

  “Let’s go take a chance.” He gave me a Cheshire grin, then released me and led me to the door, where he knocked three slow knocks.

  It opened easily and music spilled from the open door. No wonder no one knew this place was here, it was practically invisible, unless you knew what you were looking for. Smoke and hot air laced with sweat and lust followed the music into the doorway. This place was unreal. Several colorful strobe lights flashed in every direction possible, and the air was heavy with dry-ice smoke. Telor laced his fingers through mine and led me around the perimeter of the dance floor, maneuvering us between the thrashing bodies of dancers who didn’t even notice we were there.

  It was hard to see Telor clearly with the mixture of smoke and strobe lights. His body flickered in and out of view as the lights danced their dance. The only thing that assured me he was there was t
he feel of his hand in mine.

  Telor brought us to a stop in a corner with a platform that held what I think was a stripper pole. I was so out of place here, while Telor moved effortlessly as if he had been to this bar with these people dozens of times before. Everyone moved and swayed with the beat of the music, while we were standing against the wall, not doing anything. Telor still held my hand, and he pulled me closer to him so that my back was against his front and his arm was across my stomach. My head rested against his chest, his heart beating in a rapid rhythm against my ear. I smiled; despite his cool demeanor, he was also nervous.

  “Relax,” he said, his breath tickling my ear, and my knees weakened just a little. His arm still wrapped around me was one of the few things keeping me upright.

  “Trying,” I said. “It’s hard.” The other arm was now around my waist, and he started to move us with the beat of the music. Gently moving my hips in time with his own body. I had no rhythm so, luckily, Telor made up for what I lacked. His hips dipped and swayed, moving my body against his with the beat of the music. “This is the exact opposite of helping me relax.”

  “I know, but at least now you look like you’re having fun,” he said playfully. He let his lips brush up and down my ear, never slowing our dancing.

  “That’s true,” I said, roughly. I wanted nothing more than to press myself as close to him as possible, to wrap those muscled arms around my waist, run my fingers through his hair, and roll his bottom lip between my teeth. Maybe even finish what we started in my office earlier.

  “How exactly is this helping us find Destiny?” I asked in an effort to stall my rapidly building urge to take this somewhere more private.

  “We show up in his club, make a spectacle, pique his interest,” he said. “Denny wont be able to resist.”

  “He’s Destiny, not Lust,” I said, between panting breaths.