Flicker (Defying Death Book 1)

by Courtney Houston

  His lips touched mine and moved to my jaw, my neck, my ear, and back to my neck. His teeth gently nipped at the sensitive skin stretched over the hollow of my collarbone. A small whimper escaped my mouth, and I felt him smile against my flesh.

  “Something wrong?” Telor asked, all faux innocence, sucking my earlobe into his mouth.

  “Hmm,” I managed, my breathing picking up speed.

  He tightened his grip on my hips and pulled me off the couch, his lips connected with mine as he walked us down the dark hallway.

  He kicked the door open and bypassed the light switch as he headed straight for the large king-size bed in the center of the room. Telor sat on the edge of the bed and leaned back so I was straddling his hips. The moonlight cast a silver light over us. His eyes were even brighter now than they had ever been in the daylight.

  I trailed my hand over his cheekbone, then his jaw, and finally his mouth. They were smooth and warm, and I ran my tongue over his fuller bottom lip and was rewarded with his feral moan. A split second later, I was flat on my back with Telor hovering over me, his hands braced on the bed beside my face and his body so close but too far away from mine.

  I could barely stand it—barely stand all of this almost. My body knew he was mine and wanted him so badly.

  He stroked my hair with one hand, looking at me like I was the salt of the earth. “Every time I think you’ve never been more beautiful, I prove myself wrong. And every time, I’m glad for it.”

  “You have a way with words, Mr. Conway,” I whispered past my thick throat.

  Allowing my hands to move under his tight-fitting dark gray shirt, I lingered on the contours of his chest. Seeing where I was heading, he leaned back, removed his glasses, and whipped his shirt over his head with one hand. A victorious smile broke over his face as he took my hands and pulled me so I was on my knees, flush against his chest.

  “I believe it’s your turn to lose something,” he said. Torturously slow, he slid my dress up my body with his thumbs hooked inside it and his other fingers sent waves of shivers through my body as they trailed upward behind my dress.

  My body didn’t bother me, usually anyhow. The idea of Telor undressing me, knowing his eyes were taking in every inch of my skin, made me a little self-conscious. My thighs were a little thicker than most women’s, my stomach, while not large, was also not firm or toned. Anxiety started to creep into my blood, mixing with anticipation.

  “Wrong again,” he murmured against my lips as he laid us back once more. Telor’s obvious adoration of my body set some of my insecurities at ease. His pants followed soon after, and were topped with my bra and underwear.

  After all the times I’d attempted to take things further with Telor, I thought I would be more prepared for this. I was wrong. Those butterflies were alive and going strong. I swore I could hear his heart beating, too. It was a symphony of us—hearts beating, breathing heavy, and the rustle of the sheets under us.

  His mouth moved down my body, over my collarbone, lingering on my breast. Nipping and teasing me before he glided his tongue down my body and up again.

  “I want you,” he said in a throaty voice, barely restraining the raw passion he was trying so hard to keep hidden.

  “Then take me,” I told him, not at all embarrassed to give voice to what we both wanted. He already had my soul and my heart; I wanted him to have my body, too.

  He didn’t need to be told twice. He moved, and something between a moan and a gasp sounded from my throat as he entered me. My fingers dug into his shoulders as my back arched against the bed. Telor stopped when he was buried completely inside of me, giving me a moment to adjust. Pulling his face down to mine, I gave him a deep kiss and moved my hips against his. It was my turn to elicit a moan from him.

  Rational thought and coherent words gave way to whimpers, moans, and his name over and over again. My eyes opened as he slowed his strokes. It was a truly intimate thing to look into someone’s eyes while making love—an intimacy that went beyond physicality. Telor’s lips cocked into a smirk as I tangled my fingers in his mass of black hair, using it as leverage to move my body with his.

  The tightness built faster with every rock of his hips. Telor wrapped my legs around his waist and pinned my arms above my head, moving faster and harder now that he had all the control.

  “Oh God,” I gritted through rasping breaths.

  “You’re it for me, Cariad,” Telor said in a jagged whisper. “Forever.”

  “Forever,” I managed to say before my body clenched around him.

  We lay there for what felt like forever afterward. Skin against skin, my head on his bare chest, and his hand drawing lazy lines up and down my naked back. The moment was perfect. The perfect start to some us time. Against my will, thoughts of our dilemma crept into my mind. Pulling Telor tighter to me, I placed several small kisses on his chest.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice thick with fatigue.

  “Just thinking,” I said, being vague on purpose to not ruin our night.

  “That’s dangerous on the best days.” He laughed a little before returning to his serious tone. “Tell me.”

  “I love you,” I said. I knew it was implied with our relationship, but I still wanted him to hear the words. “More than I can tell you.”

  “You don’t need to tell me,” he said, and brushed a small kiss to the top of my head.

  A small part of me was disappointed that he hadn’t said it back. Not that he had to say it for me to know it was true. Still, it stung.

  “Do you actually need the glasses?” I asked to lighten the mood from my dark thoughts.

  “No, I don’t.” He laughed. “I needed them before but not now. I wear them out of familiarity.”

  “I can’t decide if I like them or not,” I mused, propping myself up on his chest. “They dim your eyes, but they are pretty hot.”

  “So, you have a thing for men with glasses?” he asked, huskily, stirring a tight feeling in my stomach. “What else strikes your fancy?” He was laying the accent on thick. Maybe round two would happen a little sooner than planned.

  “Hmm, let’s see.” Tapping my finger on my lips, I pretended to ponder his question and his assets. “Men in bands, men who can sing, men with English accents.”

  Telor made a hurt sound. “You wound me, Cariad. I’m Welsh.”

  “I apologize.” I’d never seen a man who was so touchy about his nationality. The things Gavin said came rushing back—how I’d only known Telor for a few weeks, how I barely knew him. I didn’t really know anything about Telor—at least not about before.

  My nerves were getting the best of me, and I had trouble making the words come out of my mouth. “Can you do me a favor?”

  “Anything,” he said immediately, and I felt a little bad about what I was about to ask, when I knew it would be something he didn’t want to answer.

  “Tell me about you. About before.” I nervously fidgeted with my necklace, keeping my face turned to his chest.

  “What exactly do you want to know?” His carefree demeanor vanished quickly, his face hardened, and my heart picked up double time at his change. His past was something that he didn’t like to talk about. The few times I subtly attempted to ask him a question about it, he had dodged it.

  “You don’t like to talk about it,” I stated. “Why?”

  “I wasn’t a very good person.” He attempted to turn his head, but I stopped him by gently placing my hand on his face.

  “Tell me.” I kissed his cheek, ignoring the nerves in the pit of my stomach. “Please. For me. Nothing will change my opinion of you.”

  “Let’s not go there tonight. I’ll tell you,” he said, sliding further down into bed and pulling me with him. “But it’s late, let’s get some sleep. We have plans tomorrow.”

  “That’s not fair,” I said, pulling away from him, aching at the loss of his touch. I let the aggravation seep into my voice. “You wanted to know me; it’s not fair for you get to kn
ow me and not the other way around.”

  “What do you want me to say, Catalina?” he asked, scrubbing his face hard with his hand, his five o’clock shadow dusting his jaw. A frustrated sigh escaped him as he looked into my eyes. “Do you want me to tell you about how I was a drunk who slept around? Want me to tell you how I knocked up a frequent fling, and she didn’t even tell me, because I was such loser? Is that what you want to hear? Or how about how I got shot by a couple of guys who thought I rigged a poker game?” I wanted him to stop this, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. He was on a roll, letting his past spill from his lips. “Is that what you want? You want to hear that your soul mate is a royal fuck up of a man who the world is better off without?”

  “Stop,” I whispered, finally. I hated that I did that to him. I couldn’t believe he thought so little of himself. I wanted to forget everything that he’d just told me. Not because I didn’t want to know him, but because I did know him. One thing that he said I did want a little more elaboration on, though. “You…I mean…you have a…” I stumbled over my words. I didn’t want to say baby, because obviously it wasn’t a baby anymore. “Child, you have a child?”

  “No. I had a child.” He might have been lying right next to me, but he wasn’t here. The past had caught him, and he was being sucked away a little at a time. “Adam died before he even took his first breath. He was too little and had a bad heart. Guess which lucky Guide got to watch him die and then hand his soul over to Tori?” he asked rhetorically. “Yours truly. Tori’s little way of keeping me in line.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I said over a sob, though another came right after and was followed by several more. “I-I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have asked.”

  My tears seemed to snap him out of whatever personal hell he was swimming in. As if my lips held the key to his salvation, he pulled me roughly to him and pressed his mouth to mine, moving them with a deep-seated need. I returned his kiss and allowed him to find himself again in me.

  “I love you. I still love you,” I said and held his face in my hands. His chest rose and fell in an uneven rhythm against mine. “You ‘were’ that man. You’re not anymore. Now you are a better man, and you are mine.”

  “I’m trying to be a better man.” His breathing was shallower as he laid his head against my chest and wrapped his arms around me. “You tame my soul, Cariad.”

  Telor 40

  I awoke in a tangle of sheets and Catalina, my head resting on her chest. I let myself take comfort in her before opening my eyes. She was already awake and stroking my hair gently. She didn’t notice I was awake right away, and I took the time to study her. Her peaches and cream skin still held a faint flush from last night, marred only by the dried tears on her face. I smiled at the small hickey on her collarbone. Juvenile as it was, I liked that something showed the world she was mine.

  “Good morning,” I said and was rewarded with a beautiful smile.

  “Good morning, yourself,” she said, still running her fingers through my hair.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I kissed my mark on her neck.

  Her face scrunched in confusion as she configured the date in her head. “Dammit, it is. I mean, I knew it was the fourteenth, but it totally slipped my mind that it was Valentine’s Day,” she groaned. “I can’t believe I forgot. I didn’t get you anything.”

  “I made you something, but you don’t get it until later,” I said, and finally untangled myself from her. “Get up, I’ll make breakfast.”

  “You’re even more bossy than usual after sex,” she grumbled, wrapping the sheet around her body and heading for the bathroom. She paused and took in my stark nakedness as I leaned back on my elbows on the bed.

  “Breakfast can wait.” I pulled her by the sheet back to me, loving the shy smile that she wore.

  We finally did get out of bed and eat. We also made our way back to the bedroom, the shower, and the island in the kitchen. As the sun set over the river, we lounged in the living room in front of the fire. Pulling a rolled-up piece of paper from my pocket, I handed it to her.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day,” I said, nervous as she unrolled it. Rather than buying her something, I’d written her a song, knowing that sharing that little piece of me would mean more than anything. Her face lit up as she read it.

  “Are you going to sing it to me?” she asked, poking her bottom lip out in a pout.

  “I’d do anything for you,” I said.

  I tugged her to her feet and led her out the back door to the dock over the river.

  Lina 41

  “Can I have this dance?” Telor asked. He didn’t wait for my answer; instead, he tugged me into his arms and began to sway us back and forth. I turned my head and looked up at his face. He looked so happy: his lips curled gently in the corners, his smile reflecting in his eyes, his breaths deep and even. He must have felt my stare because he gave me a sidelong glance.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked softly, as if to not disturb the sky and moon above us.

  “Us. I was wondering what it would have been like if we met under different circumstances. If I was twenty years older or you were twenty years younger. I wonder what our lives would be like if we could just simply be together and be happy. Would we have ever found each other on our own?”

  “We wouldn’t have to,” he said. “If we had another set of circumstances, Denny would still be there, guiding us together.”

  “What of Luck?” Denny had mentioned that she existed. “She could have other things planned for us.”

  “Sera is a mystery to me,” Telor admitted. “I don’t know exactly what she does or how her influence affects destiny.”

  “I hope we get the chance to see what this life has in store for us,” I whispered, not able to voice my fears any louder less they get carried away by the wind.

  “God, I hope so too,” he said more to himself than to me. “I don’t think I can ever go back to before you. I don’t regret any decision that has brought me to this moment right now. This makes getting shot worth it.”

  Tears welled in my eyes and I felt his lips on my forehead. They stayed pressed there for a moment before he started softly humming. I leaned closer and listened to his deep voice, content to stay in his arms forever.

  When he started to sing my song, I melted into him. His honey-like voice roamed over my heart and soul.

  He finished his song, whispering the final line in my ear. The tremble that ran up my body had nothing to do with the cold evening air and everything to do with Telor. Just like when he kissed me for the first time, I was hit with the awareness that he was now an essential part of me. Telor was right; I could never go back to before him. Now that my soul had seen his, it was all or nothing for us.

  “I could listen to you sing all day,” I murmured. “You sound like an angel.”

  The sound of applause broke through the night. Telor tensed at something over my shoulder and quickly moved me behind him.

  “So, this is what you’ve been up to,” a male voice said.

  My breathing grew heavy as I buried my face into Telor’s back.

  “It’s not your concern. Leave now.” Telor’s tone rang with authority.

  “Boss knows something’s going on,” the man sneered.

  He stepped into the light so I could see him clearly. Tall and assuming, with dark hair and dark eyes, his attractive features were fixed at menacing angles that made me want to shrink behind Telor and stay as invisible as possible. A small cut on his lip still oozed blood.

  “What happened to your lip?” Telor asked, moving step for step with him, keeping me behind him with his protective stance.

  “Cheyenne, the little bitch,” he growled. “I figured she would be a good starting point. However, I forgot how defensive she gets over you.”

  Rage rolled off Telor like heat off asphalt in the summer. “If you hurt her, I will end you.”

  “Relax, she’s fine. However, we do have some business to take c
are of here.”

  Three more figures stepped out of the darkness and started toward us.

  “Catalina is going to have to come with us.”

  “The hell she is,” Telor snarled. Panic bloomed in my chest. This wasn’t going to end well.

  “Don’t make us hurt you,” one of the nameless figures said.

  Telor bent his head low, while still keeping his eyes on the men advancing toward us. “When I tell you to run, you run.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” I whispered frantically. “I can’t.”

  “You can and you will,” he answered, slowly shifting us off the dock and onto the surrounding ground.

  “Don’t be stupid, Telor,” the first guy yelled. He was so close that if he wanted to, he could grab me.

  The other three spread out into a wide semi-circle, coming at us and trapping us between them and the water. Telor tightened his hand on mine and attempted to turn us so our backs were toward the tree line rather than the water.

  A hand came up and grabbed me from behind, and I let out a blood-curdling scream. The hand clasped over my mouth, and Telor spun, terror showing in his eyes.

  “Make another move and I’ll snap her neck,” the woman said. “Three of you, stay here and detain this little puppy. One of you, come with me.”

  “Marla, don’t do this. You don’t even work for Tori, you don’t have to do this,” Telor pleaded, his hands in the air in surrender, and his eyes glued to mine. I could feel his panic welling along with my own.

  “We work for whoever we want to now.” Marla laughed manically. “We chose the winning team. You think Denny is going to save you guys? The tides are changing, Telor.”

  “What are you talking about?” Telor asked her, taking a small step forward, toward Marla and me.

  Marla curled her hands into my hair and yanked back hard, eliciting a small scream from me. “Did I tell you to move? Don’t take another step or I’ll leave a piece of her behind for you to remember her by. Tori only needs her alive, she didn’t mention anything about keeping her whole,” Marla said.