Flicker (Defying Death Book 1)

by Courtney Houston

  “I’m afraid,” I whispered to him. “I don’t like the mystery of the unknown. It’s why I study history. It’s a story that’s all laid out for you. You know the beginning, the middle, and the end. There aren’t any unknown variables. I’m afraid our end will be a tragedy that no one will even get the chance to read about.”

  “Regardless of where our future takes us, I’m in,” Telor promised weakly.

  Lina 45

  “How long have you been awake?” I asked, kneeling next to him, running my hands over every inch of him to make sure he was really okay and real and mine. He pushed himself up on his elbows into a half-sitting, half-lying position against the headboard.

  “Since you got into bed with me. I was going to say something when you started talking, but figured I would just let you keep going,” he said, pulling me back down to him. “I love you,” he said and kissed me.

  I kissed him back, feeling all the anxiety of the day leave the longer his lips were pressed against mine.

  “I love you, too. Don’t you ever do anything like that again,” I scolded, breaking the kiss momentarily, before resuming it.

  “You ate my cereal,” he said with an amused smile.

  “Cheyenne said I could. So, be angry with her, not me,” I pouted. “Do you want me to go get Denny and Cheyenne? They’re in the living room. They’ve been here waiting for you to wake up.” I moved to get off the bed, and he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

  “I know they are,” he said, “but I need you right now.”

  “Let me just go get Denny, and we’ll explain things to you.”

  “Lina. Please, just get back in bed so I can hold you, and tell me what happened,” he said. Well ‘said’ was a light term, because he practically begged.

  I grimaced a little about being the one to explain something that I barely knew anything about. But I was going to do it, because I loved him, and he deserved to hear it.

  “When I left wherever it was that they had us, I started running. I don’t even really know how I got to Paradise Coffee, but that’s where I ended up. I called Denny and Cheyenne, and they met me there. I explained what happened,” I told him. I made it as short and sweet as possible. I didn’t want to relive it again. “Once you called, Denny had Cheyenne go find Robin and Sera and then he brought me here. You looked so pale; I thought you were already dead.”

  “Me, too,” he whispered. “I was trying so hard to hold on until I could see you again. When I saw your face, I couldn’t do it anymore.”

  “How did you even get all the way here?” I asked. He had to draw some eyes walking down the street in that condition.

  “Finish your story,” he said, sidestepping my question. “I’ll tell you later.”

  I cleared the thickness in my throat and tried to continue. He was so close, so close to dying. I really did almost lose him.

  “After I got you as stable as I could, Robin showed up. She and Denny went back and forth for a moment, then she agreed to help.”

  He rolled to his back, taking me with him. I tried to keep as much weight on my arms as possible to not disturb his injuries. “You keep saying ‘help,’ what help did you ask her for exactly?”

  “Well, promise me you won’t be angry,” I said, taking his hand and straddling his body.

  “Now I’m afraid to know. But I promise I won’t get angry.” He rested his hands on my hips.

  “Denny asked her to save you. She wasn’t going to do it at first, but then she changed her mind. She asked Denny about something that they discussed before and he said it was already done as ‘a token of our appreciation.’ Then she fixed the hole in your stomach and the broken ribs. She left everything else so maybe you wouldn’t do anything else stupid for a while. But she said that she could make you human again, but it might… change you.”

  “She…made me alive again,” he said, slowly running his hands up my torso and back down to my hips and again.

  “Yes.” I hesitated a little before continuing. “But she said that it could change you. That becoming a Guide had taken certain…urges…away and being a human again could cause them to return.”

  He was silent for a while; I could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. I wished he would say something—anything. Tell me how horrible I was for letting Robin turn him back into something he obviously hated, just so I could have him here with me.

  “Come here,” he whispered, pulling my head down to meet his lips. “You did the right thing. Don’t feel so guilty. We’re halfway there.”

  “You’re not mad?” I asked, trying to push myself up on my elbows to keep pressure off his various bruises.

  “No, not mad,” he whispered, kissing me again and crushing my body to his. “I’m curious about whatever Denny promised her, but I’m not mad.”

  I would think that he would have said…something about this. He was alive again, for Christ’s sake. That was sort of a big deal in my book.

  “What were you thinking?” I whispered, angry, happy tears falling from my eyes. “What did you expect to accomplish from this?”

  For a while, he was so quiet I almost thought he wasn’t going to answer me.

  “Time,” he said. “I was going to buy us time. I didn’t have to end her, I just had to knock her down, give us time to get away.”

  “You said it yourself,” I reminded him. “There is nowhere we can go. She’ll find us.”

  He hung his head, burying it in my chest, taking deep breaths, and holding me to him. I ran my hands through his hair, as much for myself as it was for him.

  “Sera?” Telor asked, changing the subject. “Is she here?”

  I shook my head. “Denny sent Cheyenne to get her, but she didn’t come. He had doubts that she would in the first place. Asking her to come was sort of a Hail Mary.”

  “I’m not surprised,” he said. “She and Denny aren’t exactly friends.”

  “So I’ve gathered.” I laughed a little and Telor tugged me closer.

  “Sweetheart, be careful, you have more than a couple bruises and cuts,” I chided him.

  “I feel fine, Lina,” he said, shimmying under me. “The bruises don’t even hurt.”

  As if to prove how great he was feeling, he spun us so I was flat on my back with him hovering over me, and he kissed me with the same unrestrained passion he had before he went to see Tori. It was a fiery-hot earth-shattering kiss that made every nerve in my body scream for more, for it to stop, for it to never stop. My body tingled everywhere he touched. I trailed my hands over his shoulders, down his arms, and across his chest. I let my hand linger over his heart, feeling the thump, thump, thump beating against his chest.

  He pulled me up so I was resting on my elbows; his hands ran along the hem of my tank top, a silent question in his eyes. I nodded, and he pulled it over my head, tossing it behind him on the floor. He kissed me again and pushed me back against the bed. My hands moved to his briefs, and he quickly slipped them off, kicking them to the floor with the rest of our clothes.

  The chest that had been perfect this morning was now marred with angry red marks and a large pink one that looked faintly like an old burn.

  “Lina, slow down a little,” he said, moving my hand away from where he was between my thighs. Telor reached across me to the nightstand drawer and grabbed a condom before returning to me. My eyes widened as I realized we didn’t use one last time. Shit, how stupid could we have been. Telor seemed to catch on to my train of thought.

  “I was a Guide then, Cariad. We don’t work quite the same way,” he said and laughed at me.

  “Thank God,” I murmured in relief as I took his lips back. “You sure you feel okay?”

  “Do you usually talk this much during sex?” He smirked down at me. He had definitely improved.

  “I ramble when I’m nervous, or I laugh. Which would you prefer?” I replied and rolled his bottom lip gently between my teeth, satisfied when his breath caught.

  “Sleeping with me makes you ne
rvous?” Telor’s husky drawl made it hard not to be nervous. This man was as close to a god as they came.

  “So much,” I moaned into his mouth as his hands explored me. “I need you.”

  That was all it took. There was no more discussion about anything. There was only me and him and our love. I think our bodies knew we were soul mates as much as our hearts did. We moved against one another perfectly.

  Sex this time was different. While he took his time to luxuriate himself in my body last time, he possessed me this time. Not roughly, but firmly. His kisses were harder, and his movements showed that he was more sure of himself.

  When my body started to tighten around his, he grasped my chin in his hand and pressed his lips to mine quickly. “Open your eyes,” he commanded. I did as he said and stared directly into his eyes. “Now say my name.”

  “Telor,” I groaned. The mental capacity to do much of anything almost completely eluded me.

  “Again.” He increased his pace each time his name fell from my lips. His mouth brushed mine as his warm breath tickled my neck. “Again, Cariad…”

  Afterward, we lay in bed, my head on his chest, him running his hands through my hair. I snuggled my face deeper into him, loving the way my skin felt against his. I could lay like this forever. Forget work, forget everything.

  My mind reeled from…everything and I completely forgot that Denny and Cheyenne were still in the other room. All the blood in my body rushed to my face.

  “Oh, God, Telor. Denny and Cheyenne are in the living room. They had to have heard everything. We weren’t exactly, well, quiet.”

  “Cariad, calm down, Denny and Cheyenne left hours ago. I heard the door shut,” he said, rubbing my back. “Why don’t you come into the kitchen, and I’ll make you some dinner.”

  “Maybe I should just bring you something in bed,” I insisted, propping my head onto my hand.

  “You’re still worried about my level of physical activity?” he asked sardonically, raising an eyebrow. “Trust me, I think the walk to the kitchen will be fine.”

  He rolled out of bed, wincing slightly when he went to put his pants back on. Instead, he took a pair of plaid pajama bottoms from the drawer and put those on, tossing me one of his shirts.

  “I have a dresser full of my own clothes here, you know?” I said as I slid on the offered clothes and followed him to the kitchen. Denny and Cheyenne were nowhere to be found, thankfully.

  “I’m aware. I like you in my clothes, though.” He winked. I was glad to see him up and not obviously injured. “They look way better on you.”

  “I think they look better on the floor,” I said, smiling at the way his shoulders heaved a sigh.

  “You’re gonna kill me,” he muttered.

  “Don’t joke,” I scolded.

  It turned out Telor’s idea of dinner was a bowl filled with a mixture of Trix and Cocoa Puffs that we shared. It was weird and romantic and totally us. After dinner, we cuddled up on the coach with a fluffy afghan. My mind was wandering to the gutter when it swerved back onto more important topics.

  “I love you,” I said and tightened my grip on him.

  “I love you, too. I can never say that enough,” he said, as his forehead creased with worry at my sudden need to cling to him.

  “Not to ruin this mood but…” I said, almost stopping myself, not wanting to hear it, but knowing I needed to. “What happened when you went to meet with Tori?”

  “Ugh, Lina. Do we have to do this? Can’t you just be happy that I’m here?” he asked.

  “I’m very happy that you’re here, but I’ll be even happier if you tell me what happened,” I said, full on pouting, bottom lip sticking out, and everything.

  “Fine. But only because I love you. And because I’m not sure I’m going to be able to keep my hands off of you if you keep pouting like that.” He rubbed his thumb along my bottom lip. “After you left, I attempted to make the Guide who attacked us a little chattier. When he did finally agree to help, Tori killed him. He was about to tell me something important and never got the chance. Then she showed up. At first, it was mostly superficial wounds.” He gestured to his chest. “Then she started asking questions.”

  “What kinds of questions?”

  “How I found you, why she couldn’t kill you.” He shuddered at the last part, and his jaw clenched so tightly I thought his teeth might shatter. “When I told her you were my soul mate things got really bad,” he said, and his hand grazed on the spot that was a gaping hole earlier. “After this, she brought me back here, told me to say good-bye to my soul mate while I still had time.”

  “Why would she send you back?” Was it just that she thought he was as good as gone?

  “Death is vindictive and sadistic,” Telor told me. “She put me within an inch of death and sent me back to die in the arms of my lover. How would you have handled that?”

  “I’d have followed you in a heartbeat,” I admitted. Regardless of the fact that he knew what was coming with that question, his shoulders tensed.

  “Never do anything like that. Never ever put your life ahead of mine, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

  “Right back at you,” I said, pointing out that he had done that very thing.

  “Well, now that I can actually ‘live’ for something, I will do better to keep that in mind,” he said. He smiled against my neck. “The possibility of a happy life with you is more than enough incentive for me. Maybe this time I can be a man worth loving.”

  My heart hurt at the pain in his voice. Even with his faults, he was still worth loving. He brushed a tear I hadn’t noticed away with his thumb and kissed me softly. I refused to release his mouth, though, and turned the kiss into something promising. Someone cleared their throat in the doorway.

  “Ahem,” Denny said with a bemused expression on his face. “Do you need us to leave again?”

  “Um, no,” I said, fighting the blush blazing on my face.

  “No need to be embarrassed.” He waved away my concern. He moved into the kitchen and pulled a huge hoagie from the fridge. I guess even Fate had to eat. “We heard what happened with Tori.”

  “Yeah, she’s such a beotch,” Cheyenne said. Telor looked to her and frowned. “Don’t be sad. You should be happy. I’m happy for you. I get your job.”

  “I feel like I abandoned you. I know how upset you were with the whole situation,” he said. “Tori is going to take out her anger with me on you.”

  “I don’t think so. I think she will try to get me to turn on you guys. But that’s not happening. We’ll take it one day at a time. If she does start to get all psycho on me, Denny will trade me and make me a Weaver,” she said, hopping onto the counter and shuddering. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

  Lina 46

  Denny was eyeing us over his sandwich. He still had a bemused and wondering expression in his eyes. For some reason, the way he was looking at me made me nervous. At first, I thought it was because Telor and I were still curled around each other on the couch. But that wasn’t it. This was an ‘I know something you don’t know’ look. It was slightly mocking.

  “Catalina, sweetheart?” Telor said, shaking my shoulder a little.

  “What was that?” I asked, jerking myself back to the present. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

  “I said we should go to your place so Jilsey and Gavin don’t worry. It’s almost eight. You texted them last night and told them we would be back because of my accident,” he said.

  Oh, God, it was almost eight p.m. This day just seemed to pass me by. We dressed quickly—and separately because Telor didn’t trust us to keep our hands to ourselves—then headed for my place. The walk was short enough that I didn’t panic over Telor walking, and Tori coming back to finish what she’d started. My house smelled like apple pie awesomeness. Jilsey and Gavin were in the kitchen laughing up a storm. Jilsey saw us, well more like she saw Telor, and rushed over to fix his boo-boos.

  “
Telor! What did the doctor say?” she screamed. Jerking him into the light and looking at his face. “The cuts don’t look too bad, but the bruises are pretty nasty looking.”

  “The bruises are the worst of it. I took a curb too fast and my bike slid out from under me. My bike is fine, I’ll be fine,” Telor told Jilsey as she continued to inspect his marked face.

  “I’ll feel better if you let me take a look at them. Come on,” she said, pulling him up the stairs to our bathroom. He sent me a help me look that I ignored. Laughing, I sat down next to Gavin and took a big bite of his pie before I remembered that we still weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

  “There is a whole pie, and you had to eat my piece?” he asked, pushing his plate toward me.

  “I had a busy day. I think I’m entitled to pie. And yours was already cut, so lay off,” I said, waving my fork at him to drive home my point and to cover the shock that not only was he speaking to me, but he was talking to me like nothing was wrong.

  “You’re really happy, aren’t you?” he asked, a sad smile playing on his lips that he tried hard to make look genuine. “I can tell. You are like Lina two point-oh; you’re still you, just a better version of you.”

  “Yeah, I’m really happy. Telor makes me really happy.” I finished off his pie and cut another piece and offered it to him. Our version of a white flag.

  “I want to hate this guy. I want to dislike him for ruining any chance that we would have had together,” Gavin said. “But seeing the way you are with him makes it almost impossible,” he said. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “You know you can always ask me anything, Gavin. You don’t need my permission.” I rolled my eyes and smiled.

  “Did I have a chance? If there was no Telor, did I have a chance with you?” he asked softly.

  It surprised me. Gavin was rarely one to ask questions like that. He was more of a what’s done is done person. Not a what if person. I thought back to before I met Telor. It felt like lifetimes ago.