Then I’m going to watch them burn.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I say to no one in particular. The tiny modicum of patience I normally have dissolves with my lingering feelings of self-doubt, and I’m fighting the urge to throw the tablet against the wall. I have no clue what any of the numbers scrolling across the screen represent, and they get us no closer to finding where Braxick is hiding.
My eyes feel like sandpaper, and the urge to sleep hits me hard as I leave them closed in hopes of relieving the pain.
Get up, Jay. This is no time for sleep.
Frustrated at what a huge waste of time my current task has been, I toss the tablet to the side, eliciting a cringe from Sol, and open the box holding a stack of memory cubes Ren found. Gray and non-descript, the fist-sized data boxes splay out in front of me. Too bad I have no clue how to open them. This is the first time I’ve even held one in my hands. They’re extremely costly, and I’ve only ever seen them used by UCom officials.
I mash on the sides. When that doesn’t work, I search for buttons and tap it against the ground. Nothing. The reflective surface gleams in the overhead lights when I lift the cube to search for any obvious latches or opening points, but there’s nothing.
Right before I give up and crush it in a fit of rage, Ren squats down in front of me and takes it from my hands. The cube opens, and a tiny hologram begins to play as he presses on two tiny little indentions on the corner.
Seriously? That was it?
I narrow my eyes. “Give it here, show off.” A smile curls the corner of my lips as he hands it over and lets his gaze linger on mine. Despite the heavy lines around his eyes, they’re still perfection.
Ren chuckles and stands. “All the cubes open a similar way. No need to beat them to death.”
I fight to hide my smile but am unable. “Shut it.”
Leaning down once more, Ren runs a thumb across my lips, and damn if it doesn’t ease the ache in my chest a bit. “I am glad to see you smile. You have not done it nearly enough.”
“Last night was…” A lump forms in my throat and I swallow hard. There’s something about him that sends my walls tumbling down.
“You do not need to speak of it. Your pain and anguish are in the forefront of my mind.”
My vision blurs as tears well in my eyes, but the anger that slides down our bond centers me. Yes, I’m sad. But I’m also pissed. So pissed, I want to hit something. A lot of somethings, actually. Swiping at my tears, I throw my hair up and shoo Ren away. I need to concentrate.
Since the cube is already well into playing whatever video data was recorded, I restart the stream.
Great. Another video cataloging the twisted experiments completed by the scientist I saw from Ren’s memories. A knot of dread forms in the pit of my stomach, and I suck in a deep breath, tamping it down.
Get over yourself, Jayla. Your people need you.
Ren takes the cube from my hands. “No more. I can feel your distress, smell your misery. I will not have you suffering right in front of me. Sol will watch this contraption.”
“I can help—”
“In another way, perhaps. Not like this.”
My breath comes out in one frustrated huff, and Ren scrubs his hands down his face. “Check on the other females. I have yet to receive today’s update on the Mageran’s condition since Naya is tending to the human mechanic.”
The battle between my stubborn need to help and my teetering sanity eases as Ren pulls me to my feet.
“I can handle it, you know.”
His hand lingers on mine a moment before letting go. “I do not doubt your perseverance. Your mind is weary and heavily burdened by atrocities that are not yours to bear. There is no need to trigger your emotions with a menial task one of the other males can complete. Go speak to the Mageran, ensure she is feeling well. Sol is compiling the newly received coordinates now. They will be ready for examination when you return.”
Slipping through the door as Ren is called away, I pad through the kitchen toward the stairs. Last I checked, Hana was in good spirits, and as of right now, I could use a little of her sass.
Illaria is stationed up against the door of Xen’s makeshift cell, just as she has been since he first arrived, but rather than looking wild and half-crazed, she actually looks like her normal, snotty self. Despite having voiced his claim on Illaria, Xen is forbidden from coming out of the room without explicit permission from Ren. He may have his memories back, but he’s still considered a traitor.
I keep left at the top of the stairs, and rather than go straight for Hana’s room, stop by Urina’s. From what Naya has told Ren, I know she’s fairing a bit better than we initially expected. She’s even started coming downstairs during mealtimes to interact with the other females on a regular basis. She was visibly upset when Ren revealed that humans were experimenting on a female Inokine. I worried at first that she’d hate me, but our interactions haven’t taken on any such tone.
Her door is open a fraction, a habit she picked up since she returned from her time in captivity so she can call for Injari if she wakes up frightened. Unsure if she’s awake or asleep, I peek in and immediately burst through the door.
Ropes. Tied around her bare ankles and knees. Startled by the door slamming into the wall, she jerks out of bed and tumbles to the floor.
She slaps a hand over her heart just as Amina barrels into the room.
“Urina! Aciana! Is everyone okay?” Amina asks, looking from me to the bound female.
My voice trembles with outrage and disbelief. “Who did this to you?” I rush toward her, pulse pounding in my ears. Tugging at the ropes like they’re burning her skin, I rush to get them off as fast as I can. This poor girl. Violated beyond belief, and now subjected to whatever this is? In the one place she’s supposed to feel safe?
“It was my idea,” Urina says, placing a clammy hand over mine.
My throat tightens, and tears well in the corners of my eyes. “What do you mean?”
Almost as if it were a normal part of her day, Amina helps Urina untie herself. “She has had me do it for every sleep for the past Earth week, Aciana.” Amina looks to Urina, almost as if to ask permission to continue on. Urina nods. “In her dreams, they still hurt her. So she has me tie her legs together so they cannot force them apart while she sleeps.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
Urina squeezes my hand once more. “It is all right, Aciana.”
I shake my head, rage building so quickly, it takes effort not to scream. “No. It’s not. But it’s going to be. Let’s get you up and out of these. Then we’re going downstairs.”
Urina’s brow furrows, and she tenses slightly. “Am I to be punished?”
“No, Urina. We’re going to learn how to fight. So the next male that tries to accost any of us will get his dick ripped off and shoved down his throat.”
Her eyes lighten, and she looks to Amina, almost as if to make sure she heard the same words. “You are sure? It is expressly forbidden…”
“So? I’ll change the law. Do whatever I need to. How you feel…what you have to do just to sleep at night and not wake up screaming, it’s not okay. You deserve to feel safe, and I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to make that happen.”
After a quick glance at Amina, I exit the room with plans to stop by and check on Hana before telling Naya and Ren what I did. He’ll be mad at first, but once he sees the motivation behind my choice, he’ll understand.
Two steps away from Hana’s room, I hear the click of Leandra’s door and jerk my head toward it. Naya.
I veer toward her, wanting to pop in and vent to my friend. “How is she? Better?”
Naya’s shoulders sag slightly as she straightens the blade hanging from her thigh, and I realize I’ve never seen her without her weapons. “She has improved and finally agreed to rest. The babe appears healthy.”
The tight band of anxiety wrapped around my chest lightens. “Whew, thank tits. She’s so stubb
orn you know?”
Naya gives me the side eye. “Must be a human trait.”
“Funny. My stubbornness at least has its uses.”
Now that I know Leandra’s finally resting, there’s no way I’m going to interrupt her. I guess there’s no time like the present to tell Naya what I’ve decided. But how do you even start off that conversation?
Hi, don’t mind me. Just switching up your gender roles. No big deal.
There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence between us, and Naya narrows her eyes. “You wish to speak to me?”
“I need you to teach us how to fight.”
“You know it is forbidden. To declare the need for our females to learn to defend themselves speaks to a weakness no Illusian male will accept. It is in their nature to protect, and to train the females implies they are incapable of their greatest task.”
A new wave of frustration has me clenching my fists. Not because of Naya’s reaction, but because the Illusians’ whole way of doing things feels so backwards. Just because you empower a female, elevate her to a station above her current circumstances, doesn’t make a male less powerful. It’s not a balancing act. Both can be powerful. Both can be fierce.
“Bullshit! Have you seen Urina? How she binds her legs before she sleeps to remind herself that the violent assaults she relives every night are only in her dreams. That there isn’t really some nasty prick on top of her? It’s not right! She’s withering away in a nightmare she can’t control, and she deserves to feel safe. I can’t take away what’s been done to her, but fuck all if I let her be terrified in her own skin and do nothing to help her.”
Naya eyes widen. And almost as if drawn to her, she meets Urina’s gaze as she steps out of her room to venture downstairs. Naya zeroes in on the faint impressions of the rope still stamped on her legs.
“You have discussed this with the Acia?”
“No. But I can’t imagine he would deny Urina the right after what I just saw.”
Naya remains quiet for a moment, but the sight of her barbs sliding out of her fingers says enough. She’s just as pissed and disturbed as I am. “I will do as you ask. Only after the Acia has given his permission. I am unable to overstep the bounds of my assigned duties, but if you can speak with him, I will begin training them at once.”
“Okay. Let me check on Hana, then I’ll go down to the nav bay and talk to him. I’m sure he’s already mostly aware.”
Watching Naya’s back as she makes her way toward the stairs, I wave a hand over the release to open Hana’s door. My heart lurches in my chest, and I slam the door shut, completely mortified.
Injari and Hana. Locked in the most passionate kiss I’ve ever seen.
“Oh, holy shit, I’m so sorry!” I yell. My cheeks heat, no doubt blazing cherry red, and I’m so embarrassed. “Seriously, why can’t I just remember to knock?” A whoosh of air blows my hair back as the door slides open.
“Aciana, I can explain—” Injari says, concern tightening her features.
I cock my head. “Explain? What do you mean? I’m so sorry. I should have knocked. I just came to check on… Damn. Err, I can come back later. Continue on.”
Injari’s brows shoot up. Knowing I’m only making things worse, I turn to leave.
A wild mess of orange hair pops up behind Injari, and the Illusian female turns to glare at Hana before pointing behind her. “Bed. Now.”
I guess her Meta is coming along.
Hana rolls her eyes and shoves her way past Injari, using the door for support. “It was my fault. I kissed her.”
Wait, what? Why is she apologizing?
Injari boxes out Hana, trying to close the door behind her, but the feisty Mageran isn’t having it. “Ignore whatever she just said, Aciana. It is my fault. Do not punish her.”
I jerk my head toward her, confused.
“Why would I punish her? Or you for that matter? And why is Hana out of bed?”
Injari turns to glare at Hana, but she can’t keep her eyes off the Mageran’s lips long enough to pull off being angry.
“Females cannot breed. So, their pairings are not recognized. It is forbidden, Aciana. I accept full responsibility and am prepared to be punished as such.”
This day is just full of what the hell moments.
“Okay, stop,” I say to Injari in Illusian. “Ren’s dick is mine, and I’ve got a pretty strong opinion on what he gets to do with it. But I’m sure as hell not going to dictate what you do with your lady bits. And to be quite frank, after what you’ve been through. I wouldn’t give a shit if you told me you wanted to mate with a table. Get dressed. We’re all meeting downstairs.”
Ren
My veins swell and twist as anger blots out all rational thought. Not mine. But my mate’s. Jayla has lost control of her emotions, shoving them toward me and filling my mind. Like a decaying corpse left to rot underneath a blaring star, her overabundance of outrage is ready to burst.
Abandoning my current task, prepared to snuff out whatever has caused such a violent reaction, I stop as the image of bound legs flows through my mind. My rage flares, matching Jayla’s ire as the unmated female explains the ways in which she binds herself.
Tradition called for a restorative ceremony. A Cuelling to provide a blood tribute to cleanse her of all lingering pain, and yet, she still suffers. She is still held captive by the image of a beast long dead. One whose gored body remains a highlight of my kills.
I am a fool to have expected the complexity of her emotions to be settled by such an act. The longer I observe and interact with my mate, the more confusing I find the female mind, and once again, I have failed Urina.
Pulling myself from Jayla’s thoughts, I allow her to speak to Urina privately. I do not wish to violate the sanctity of the trust built between them.
Redirecting my attention, I return to the supply logs Sol managed to procure. There are hundreds of millions of entries. Despite being split between all available males, the task is taking a significant amount of time, and my frustration is building.
Ingenuity is not a replacement for basic needs, and every station that is to sustain life requires supplies. If there are clues as to the Universal Community’s hidden sites, it will be here. Anger and anticipation fuel me. Wherever the colonel and Jayla’s great-grandfather are conducting these experiments, they will require deliveries.
Sol sends a holographic image to the screen above me. “Acia, I have narrowed the data down to four possible locations. The highest probability is the one dead center in the black hole causing destruction in the Kurxick star system.” The screen zooms into the suspected location.
“Stop what you are doing.” I survey the room. “Divert your attention to those four locations. I want to see what supplies are coming and going from that area. Anything out of place, report it to me immediately. And Sol, find the current whereabouts of the rest of our kind. We will be unable to investigate all of the locations properly on our own. Now is not the time for shouldering this responsibility single handedly. Our other leaders need to make themselves useful.”
The scent of my mate floats steadily toward me, and I abandon my task, anxious to speak with her. Her heartbeat slowed shortly after I withdrew from her mind, and damn if I do not still desire to go to her. The feel of her anxiety is like a metal spike plunged in my rib. It pains me, cutting into me with every breath. Ridding her of the cumbersome emotion is as much a balm to her misery as it is to my own. She deserves to feel the warmth of an Illusian sunrise on her face, and she will fucking have it.
Rather than invade her memories, potentially causing her discomfort, I follow her scent to the common room. My jaw tightens. The females have gathered, and Naya has removed the sparring bags from the anteroom. The hard lines of determination on my mate’s face transform into surprise as she registers my presence. “Ren. I can explain.”
A growl builds in my throat, but dissipates as my mate sends images of what was spoken earlier between her and Urina through the bon
d. My nostrils flare, picking up on the scent lingering in Urina’s pores. Her fearing for her life, despite our promise of protection, is unacceptable. Our females deserve to be lifted up, praised for the life that they give us, not torn to pieces and humiliated.
Naya steps forward. “I was under the impression you had been informed. The Aciana has requested—”
“Her memories are clear, Keeper. I do not desire your input. My mate and I will discuss this in private.”
Amina slides in front of my mate, then Dreya, prepared to defend her should I hold her accountable for speaking against our law.
Jayla squeezes the unmated’s shoulder. “It’s fine. Rule change still stands.” She juts out her chin and steels her spine like a warrior ready for battle. “Naya will teach you. I’ll be right back.”
Squaring her shoulders, Jayla strides toward me. There is a punch of color to her cheeks, almost as if she has reclaimed her purpose, and perhaps, she has found it in this. My dick hardens at the light sheen of sweat forming on the swell of her breasts. The peaks of her nipples harden under the heat of my stare, and fuck if I do not want to take her right where she stands. Her blatant disregard for tradition should anger me. And yet, her refusal to submit to my demands only makes me desire her more.
My ire is snuffed out by a sense of immense respect. No male would dare to stand against my word. None would challenge my rule or dispute thousands of birth cycles worth of law. Yet, here she is. Tiny and fierce and so determined she would take responsibility with no hesitance. A warrior in her own right.
“Come, Skara. It seems we have much to discuss.”
Jayla
Shit. Shit. Shit.
So, he’s mad—pissed, even. Or maybe, he’s not? Now I know why Naya got so annoyed when we first met and he closed off his emotions to the group. He’s absolutely impossible to gauge. My mind flies through all the possibilities as I follow Ren to our room. I’m worried and anxious and gearing up for a fight. No way I’m backing down from this. It’s the right thing to do. I love him and I’d never want to disrespect him, but what about empowering and respecting the females? The problem is, I have no idea what it’s going to cost me. Or worse, what it will cost Ren.
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