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Woman Reading to the Sea

Page 3

by Lisa Williams


  of it all) is the smell of ice and brine,

  rough sea in the purist wind

  that blows from far-off coasts

  and stays here, freshening.

  You would taste a tinge of time

  on your tongue, its encrystalled distances

  jagged in the strong stark absence of lament—

  that chunk of knowledge always inaccessible

  but always defended by the physical

  world, without judgment or pretense,

  simply floating.

  Death and Transfiguration of a Star

  Ambitious beam,

  what’s physical in your case “strains

  all concepts of the conditions

  of matter.” Trillions of times

  strict as steel, thousands the pull

  of the earth’s magnetic field,

  spinning and spinning

  on mercurial impulse

  as if in a race to defeat

  only your past increase, earlier

  your inner center became your cloak

  in a brash refashioning,

  your deepest matter worn now on the sleeve,

  old metals polished,

  a world of sword blades clashed

  a millisecond. What’s physical

  in you swells beyond mere image. Numbers pale.

  Surface “smooth as a billiard ball”

  won’t cut it. Pre-intellectual,

  dependent on the mind

  to be imagined but not to exist,

  after the ultimate solipsist-

  ic meltdown—all guns in the arsenal

  for despair, all hooves in the stable

  of soldering force,

  all shards of the heavenly mirror

  held in your fists—you stabilize

  instead of disappear,

  your silver arms stretch light light-years

  ahead of dying.

  Some hole awaits

  as blackness must

  the most boggling volts. You will be

  zero volume, endless density,

  when words don’t leave a trace.

  The Fish

  How they appear: tunneled vision

  in a brackish world. But they weave through it,

  ambient, loose as the drops that brush their skin,

  slick colony of mists. Or do not weave.

  These snaking vines, these luminous passersby

  who quiver and blink in strange upstagings

  don’t form obstructions to a path, but mark details

  in an intimate landscape, one that, though vast,

  in practice is always narrowed…

  Minutiae abound, things small as the tip

  of an eyelash, which the fish might gulp,

  for inside lies the way to another world

  of blood, fanned bones, cold pearly spears

  around which scales furl armor. Slits

  for breath, sleek passageways, flutter life

  in beats, the rhythm of their keeping.

  Where they exist: this pulse they are hinged on,

  this harsh gill music. In colorless fog,

  or where a billion hues confound,

  they can settle on the island of that

  breathing, hold fast to the stone of it

  as the great mouth churns, each wave

  one ring of truth the sea itself extends.

  Jellyfish

  Movement means closure,

  a thrust from where you are,

  that gelid other plane,

  your bell-like head

  with wordless aperture

  emptying, emptying,

  the pleats of your innards,

  a shallow accordion.

  Your tendrils trail neon

  lit cities of cells

  —you, pellucid ferry,

  invisibly carried

  spun dome like the ghost

  of some merry-go-round.

  And we who don’t float

  with such unconscious ease

  think it terror to rise

  from our notions of land,

  rock, and ownership, can’t

  ride a bottomless plain,

  colored trust in our sails,

  in the lax, placid matter

  that holds, not from falls

  (for you too fill your head

  so your gossamer motors

  move onward) but holds

  your shape firm. Even you,

  if you never once moved,

  if you didn’t take in

  the first place where you are,

  fold around that cold present

  then push out, with liquid

  momentum (like knowledge)

  from flushed, chambered cells,

  would ascend nowhere new.

  In the planktonic dark,

  a touch is the world,

  the devouring of touch

  motion’s guidance. Your emptied

  bell head tolls the thrust,

  the sole luminous effort—clear

  life thinking’s lost!

  Anatomy of a Skylark

  Inside a bird there are

  chambers and chambers,

  tunnels through scapular

  bones, tarsus flues.

  Tongue under mandible

  thin, flat, and tapered.

  Feathers in mantle top

  down-folded wing.

  Oxygen circulates

  pale pair of lungs,

  paths to esophagus,

  gizzard and heart

  (thumbnail-sized). Breast, of course,

  puffed up with plumage,

  quills the original

  pinpointed art.

  Words follow from this.

  Do they say anything

  mythic as music

  while lizard feet cling?

  Instruments grew in

  the hollow where noises

  —genus of throat—

  found a painstaking form.

  The Glass Sponge

  Pheronema carpenteri

  Your body housed inside a nest of glass,

  its lucid needles woven

  in radiant networks like a dozen

  webs of spiders sewn into a dome

  and coated with a layer of liquid quartz

  so that they are fixed as crystal

  around that softness which the sea flows through,

  that softness full of holes.

  Cascades of glass twist down

  to rope you to the sand. Or

  one potent spike of glass stabs the sea floor

  to lock you in that dim frontier

  where you will shine in the eye of a traveler,

  sucking in food and releasing wastes

  through your spiked and greedy osculum.

  Human divers may loose your root,

  unhook it carefully (for your edges cut)

  and lift you to the land-locked world where sun

  shrivels your body to dust

  and dries the needles of your shell

  to be sold, a dazzling valuable

  tourists misapprehend

  as the work of a minor craftsman.

  A Waterfall

  Starting at the pinnacle,

  ice-held and wind-whipped,

  threading through the solid planes of years,

  caught now in pits, now caves, now eddies

  of froth like lace or quiet muddied pools,

  making its way from ordered lines to whorls,

  down gutters other, older flows have wrought

  in fossiled rock, inscribing them with grit

  and vestiges, to finishes unknown

  at bottom, long lax lake or stifling dam,

  fishless or filled with tadpoles, algae, trout

  —whatever stops the overarching flow’s

  mysterious course is not for me

  to guess; each slip of tongue and shining length

  and glassy skein that swings from bank
to bank,

  slaps into dark obstructions, crashes, breaks,

  and hurtles, faster waters at its back

  turns into sounds: a low, insistent drawl

  of water rippling slow to cross a wake,

  the high cries when it hits the hardest rocks

  or bursts into a fan of foam in air,

  the minor murmurs, major fluted leaps

  in choral pairs, the wavering water strings

  looped over crannies, tightened on thin stones

  while underneath, a range of lower notes

  now integral, now hidden, harbored, drawn,

  withdrawn, or pulled to fuller pools below

  before it mingles, rises, circles, falls

  continually; and of the lofty height

  where it began, that iced and thin-aired peak

  I started from, I can’t hear anything:

  the wellspring’s real, just as the finish is

  but from right here, those seem like vision, silence.

  The Kingfisher

  I wanted to see a kingfisher

  with its throat bound up in whiteness

  and its black crest aimed at clouds.

  I didn’t know what it looked like,

  not really. In poems and stories

  it would flicker, a subtle omen.

  But a kingfisher appeared

  one February Sunday.

  First, a high, rattling call

  like a constant shake of maracas.

  Then the bird itself touched down

  on an aged tree, on a pond’s island,

  in a circle of melting ice.

  From that one place, it called

  and called and its call tapped a contradiction

  to the cold, a noise that loosened

  the ice’s thin sheets.

  The kingfisher lifted its tail

  up and down, moved close to the water,

  moved closer. Its eyes skimmed the pond.

  I clumsily focused binoculars:

  the white throat, the angular crest!

  —perceptible, barely, by color

  and form, a lot like a painting

  viewed so close up it’s blurred.

  Step away. Step away. I didn’t

  from my life’s one mention of kingfisher

  until some noise

  (a rifle, or muffler, or tree fall

  in the distance) triggered its flight

  and then I watched it lift

  —it’s heavy, a bird more burdened

  than some, and not all grace—

  trailing calls like the beads of a rosary:

  a string of clicks in air,

  a shadow leaving the ice.

  Evening at the Dix

  Looking into the river at dusk, I noticed

  nothing but the silver waffling common

  to the water’s face if there were wind. But then

  I heard strange slapping sounds. Was there a tide

  that rose and lapped the limestone banks?

  Of course there wasn’t; this was just a river.

  I leaned over the bridge to look more closely.

  Because of the lean, late rays of sun

  that poured into the river like a flashlight

  I could see straight through the water’s haze:

  In the dull shallows under the bridge

  a school of minnows turned to hang one

  slant direction from another, their bodies

  flickering greenish bronze. I raised

  my eyes and saw the river’s face

  disturbed with rings right on the surface

  that burst and disappeared. These made the sounds

  I had heard: The long, lithe bodies of the bass

  writhed up so their back fins just broke

  the water, then slipped back into the murk.

  One place and then another would be touched

  so the effect—in that gold, nostalgic light—

  was of a syncopation, like the notes

  played on a piano, how one finger strikes

  and sinks into a silent drift just as

  another note is played. It happened quickly,

  my noticing, the river dabbed with circles,

  the circles met and pierced by curving fish,

  slick, scaled, with dull-gazed eyes

  and torsos long, in the muddy veils, as eels.

  The river seemed to reveal itself, all fins,

  tails, mouthparts, pushing themselves through

  the fibrous threshold of its currents, a world

  drawn open to this watery vein

  in which things flailed. Three great blue herons

  floated across the river, angling wings.

  A motor boat skirred up the water.

  The herons arced away. The bass fell quiet.

  The waterline diminished with the light.

  Another Sea Scene

  Yes, the sunlight glitters on the water

  as it has before, as it will again.

  Your seeing it this way can hardly matter.

  You are one of millions, like those azure threads

  warping and weaving the surface of the water,

  drawing themselves in ripples over matter,

  unraveled by the wind. The gulls mock

  you. They squawk, Her seeing does not matter.

  Squawk! As they swoop through air again.

  They’ve seen one person here after another.

  The sun still glimmers and it has no aim

  besides this sluggish crawl on land and water,

  the water clearly azure near the shore

  where cliffs hang, where the coves are sheer.

  Above the waves’ azure shifts, gulls’ wings aim

  only to catch wind drifts. The water

  under them glitters, glitters again,

  transparent stuff somebody else has seen.

  Field

  Is it a thing we build inside ourselves

  that gives us so much purpose? Maybe.

  But sometimes, when I look out on a field

  as others did, have done—at chicory’s

  angular slants of blue, bull thistle’s

  bursts of purple fervor, Queen Anne’s lace,

  and all the other pigments of expanse

  —tall, weedy flourishes

  that nudged into black atmospheres

  their leaf, or sprout, or semaphore,

  stemmed inch by green stemmed inch, and wove

  a length of knots and stoppages that filled

  the land’s flat vacancy—my thought

  seeps back into itself, under a grid

  of soil and pale curved roots, as if

  the mind were just another naked field,

  the darkened mind.

  Grackles

  They were not one body. Yet they seemed

  held together by some order, their thick necks

  flickering with a blue-black iridescence,

  their yellow-circled pupils bright and cold.

  In a wave of differences that passed

  low over the surface of my yard,

  they picked it clean of morning’s fritillaries

  and other summer gestures fall discards

  then settled on the hill behind the fence

  for several teeming minutes to remark

  its tapestry, each razored beak, each tail

  parting Sunday’s gray air like a spear.

  I could tell you that they gathered up

  the darkness of my winter thought that day

  in mid-September, bundled it, black-ribboned,

  into sleek coats and lifted it from me

  just as you have imagined. But this

  would be a lie. I watched them comb the fields

  with interest, and, when their beak’s clicks had died,

  turned back to what I was.

  Chimes

  Leaves flutter wild in wind.

  Now, as day descends,

&
nbsp; he hears the old wind chimes.

  Moon like a portal shines

  through nearby trees again.

  Wind plays on the chimes.

  His neighbors’ lights go on

  —gold from the windowpanes.

  A fence and garden dims.

  All matter must succumb,

  he thinks, as darkness climbs.

  Houses lose their lines.

  Still, the old wind chimes

  play in the air again,

  a tune without a mind.

  shell

  There is almost no wind.

  The river’s surface shines but is barely moving.

  Two mink slip into the blue-green

  dusky water from a limestone shelf.

  It took me a long time to arrive here

  with an emptiness like a hollow snail shell

  which this river water perfectly fills,

  though the shell was crafted for a certain body

  as our brains seem crannied for belief.

  Since I have no belief, I must look

  very carefully. I must be devoted and scraped clean

  of my lavish concepts. I must prepare

  a baptism for the absence of faith.

  The water’s shallows will swallow its breath

  like a dying animal’s, until it is drubbed and quiet.

  Nothing now but the runnels

  on the river’s surface, the mink’s slide

  in siltish depths, an orange fish flexing in air

  for a second so the eye sees one emergence

  vivid and detached out there

  after I have made Him disappear.

  3

  Restoration

  The great mouths of the god’s house, thunderstruck,

  Will never open till you pray.

  —Virgil, The Aeneid (translated by Robert Fitzgerald)

  Thou stranger, which for Rome in Rome here seekest,

  And nought of Rome in Rome perceiv’st at all…

  —Joachim du Bellay (translated by Edmund Spenser)

  Leaving Saint Peter’s Basilica

  It isn’t only the marble, the tombs of bronze,

  the rigid brilliance of the angled stones,

  the columns lined with purpose, glossed with time.

  It’s the shadow across the palm of someone’s hand,

  the action stopped: the folds of angels’ robes

  forever folded, the outstretched arms of popes

  who supplicate or bless or mouth a prayer

  with static, gesturing limbs. It’s all the layers

  hidden from us, the dust that’s flesh entombed,

 

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