Never Knew Until You

by L E Royal

  “Professor.”

  She snapped back to attention. A smile still lingered on the dean’s face, and of course Kristina had charmed him too.

  “I just wanted to make sure you’d be attending the benefit next month for the new library wing. I think it’s important the staff, especially in the Culture and Languages departments, show their support, if possible.”

  She nodded politely.

  “Of course, sir. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  Kristina was watching her. The skin on the side of her neck prickled at the feeling.

  “Excellent, well, it was lovely to meet you, Miss Diaz. Tell Mario I said hello, and you ladies enjoy your weekend.”

  Parker smiled politely as he shook Kristina’s hand again.

  The minute the door swung closed, Kristina stepped into her space, picking up her purse and bookbag, leaning so close Parker could feel the heat of her body against her side.

  “May I carry these for you, Professor?”

  Parker took a shuddering breath.

  “That depends. May I go to the bathroom and remove these…things, before we walk to the car?”

  Kristina laughed against her ear, soft and breathy. It sent goose bumps across her arms.

  “No, sweetheart, absolutely not.”

  Chapter Ten

  PARKER BREATHED A sigh of relief when they pulled up in front of Kristina’s house, though the feeling didn’t last long. Her car was older, bigger than Kristina’s little speed machine, and she honestly had no idea it could move so fast until she made the mistake of letting Kristina drive it.

  “You seem tense?”

  The question was lazy as they headed through the door into the house.

  “Did you take an Uber just so you could talk me into letting you drive my car?”

  The balls rolled inside her, and Parker grit her teeth. She was caught somewhere between turned on and annoyed, the adrenaline of the car ride still filtering its way out of her blood.

  “No, I took an Uber because I thought driving two cars back here was pointless. Are you mad at me?”

  Kristina had produced a bottle of wine. She paused with the corkscrew halfway to its top. She looked concerned.

  “No, I’m not. I’m just…”

  Frustrated, turned on, riled up.

  The bottle was set on the counter with a thud.

  “What’s the issue?”

  Kristina crossed the distance between them, and Parker licked her lips. The shift in the mood was palpable. Of course Kristina already knew. She had planned this, all of it.

  Forcing her face to relax into an expression somewhere close to contrite, Parker tried being sweet.

  “May I please take out the balls now, Mistress?”

  Kristina cocked her head.

  “No. What else?”

  Parker tightened her jaw. She was tired of being teased without anything really happening. Being uncomfortable, well, it sucked.

  “Stop scowling and tell me what the problem is, Parker. Now.”

  Kristina’s voice rung with an authority she had never heard. Something dark flashed in her eyes, and Parker’s heart raced in response.

  “I want you to fuck me.”

  The words poured out of her and her cheeks burned, but she held Kristina’s gaze, defiant.

  “Really?”

  Kristina shrugged out of her jacket, and Parker’s body stirred at the action.

  “And do you think that’s the best way to get what you want? Being grouchy, and asking me in that way?”

  Crap.

  She shook her head.

  “Words.” It was a hiss.

  “No, Mistress.”

  “No.”

  Kristina repeated her answer. She took her hand and led her through to the living room.

  “Do you remember what I said we were going to do the next time we met?”

  I do. Parker licked her lips.

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  “The safe word is ‘red.’ Do you understand?”

  She repeated her agreement.

  Kristina sat back on the sofa, expression unreadable. The energy in the room set Parker’s teeth on edge; it was dark, darker than anything she had ever experienced with Kristina. Was this what punishment would be like?

  “Come here.”

  Her heart jumped. Suddenly she missed playful Kristina, gentle Kristina, Kristina who called her “sweetheart” and opened the door for her. The thought of getting spanked had been so hot to her, but now it was apparently happening, she wasn’t so sure.

  She crossed the room and sat beside her. Vaguely aware her hands were shaking, she clasped them in her lap.

  “I’m not mad at you. Do you understand?”

  Kristina liked this; she could see it on her face. Parker nodded.

  “You’re in control, Parker.” Kristina leaned forward, and kissed her softly. When she pulled away, Parker chased her lips, rewarded with another kiss, longer, deeper, a tongue running slick over her lips before it pulled away. “Say the word and we stop.”

  “Yes, Mistress.” Her mouth was suddenly dry.

  Kristina unbuttoned her pants, and slid down the zipper. Anticipation already had her breathing hard.

  “Relax, baby.”

  Fingers closed tight around her wrist, and then she was tugged forward and sideways until she landed across Kristina’s lap, her hair falling around her face like a golden curtain. A leg settled over her thighs, a hand between her shoulder blades keeping her in place, and she was absolutely humiliated. It only got worse when her pants and underwear were tugged down, leaving her backside and the tops of her thighs exposed.

  The word “red” was on the tip of her tongue. The room was silent, and she was mortified, everything inside her screaming that this was horrible, embarrassing, degrading. She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to listen to Kristina’s already-short breaths. Never had she experienced anything like this.

  She jumped when fingers touched her, rubbing over her uncomfortably wet flesh, moving the balls inside her. It feels…good?

  “I’m going to spank you, Parker, because you talked back to me, and gave me attitude on multiple occasions. Do you understand me?”

  Parker sucked in a breath, lost between the pleasure of the balls rolling and clacking, humming inside her, and the shame of this whole thing.

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  Fingers brushed her clit and her body jumped.

  “You don’t have to count, but I’m going to spank you seven times, and I expect you to lie still for me. Understand?”

  She agreed again, everything in her tense, waiting for the first blow to land. Instead, those fingers just continued to tease her, touching her and rubbing her, pressing against her entrance from behind in a way that made her want to roll her hips back and take them inside. She forced herself to hold still.

  Kristina’s fingers were moving over her easily, growing slick with her desire. Parker was just starting to relax when the hand was pulled away and the first blow landed, stinging across her left butt cheek. She cried out, the sound distorted when Kristina cupped her hard, and the burn across her skin mixed with the pleasure of the pressure of the balls inside.

  She wished Kristina would say something, anything to pull her back from the strange place she was hurtling toward, so many emotions crashing over her, her body so sensitive, overstimulated but wanting.

  Another slap landed, this time lower, the edge of fingers catching her between the legs wetly, jolting the balls inside.

  They came in quick succession from there, three more, across her left cheek, her right, and then almost between her legs completely. Kristina rubbed her, touched her, and she was embarrassed and confused. Somehow, she was close to coming from this.

  The sixth one was hard. She grit her teeth, but a soft sound of surprise still spilled from between them. Damp fingers soothed the burn for a second before they were back between her legs, rubbing her clit, teasing her entrance. Parker was torn between
wanting to get away from her and just wanting to get fucked by her.

  The last blow landed right against her sensitive flesh. Her body quivered in response, and she jerked on reflex when a finger pushed into her. A growl from above made her still, the muscles in her stomach jumping as the balls were fished out. A tear fell onto the hardwood below, and she watched it, surprised, a tiny puddle on the dark oak.

  “Good girl… My good girl.”

  Relief washed over her at the sound of Kristina’s voice. It was familiar, my Kristina, it was rich and warm, and she heard Kristina’s arousal inside it.

  “You did so well.”

  Two fingers were pushed into her, and she hissed at the burn. Somehow she felt tighter after the balls, everything in her overstimulated, almost sore in her need. Kristina’s thumb brushed her clit, and Parker jumped as teeth nipped her stinging bottom gently.

  “Do you want to come?”

  I don’t know. Fingers twisted in her and it became clearer. She needed some sort of release. Tears were collecting on the floor below. She was ashamed and she was somehow freed.

  “Yes, Mistress, make me come, please…”

  She had a strange urge to tell Kristina she was hers. The headspace she was slipping into scared her, and she pressed her lips together tight.

  She focused instead on the fingers fucking her, the thumb on her clit, the heavy breathing that was growing faster above her, and then she was coming. Her orgasm arrived out of nowhere, touching every part of her, winding her horribly, uncomfortably tight, and then leaving her completely slack, spent, and crying.

  She was somehow pulled up and turned over. Sitting in Kristina’s lap, held to her chest. Parker let her face get lost in the dark hair at the crook of her neck, confused and embarrassed by her reaction. Her body was still shuddering with the aftershocks.

  “You did so good, sweetheart…” That voice washed over her, arms were holding her tight, stroking her back, her hair, and she felt horribly vulnerable and scarily safe. Why is this splitting me open?

  Kristina held her for a long time, their quiet breaths the only sound in the otherwise silent house. The sun had almost disappeared totally behind the horizon when finally Kristina jostled her. Parker felt stupid. She was forty years old and clinging to this woman half her age like a lifeline.

  “Are you okay? The first time can be intense.”

  Right… She was just another on a long conveyor belt of subs for Kristina. Everything that was so profound and new to her was probably just another check mark on the Dominants-R-Us standard issue bucket list.

  Parker pushed up to a shaky stand and stepped away, struggling to tug her pants back up over her burning behind.

  “Parker…” Kristina’s voice was careful, guarded.

  “It was fine, Kristina. I know this is all routine for you, and you’ve probably done this a hundred times before. I just need a minute to catch up.”

  Her voice was taut, bitter, but it was too late to hide it. Kristina caught her arm when she tried to walk away.

  “If you think you aren’t special to me…” She paused, a disbelieving little laugh kissing her lips. “Then you’re crazy.”

  Parker turned to look at Kristina, and dark eyes held her own. Swallowing down her fears, Parker leaned down and kissed her. It was careful, gentle, passionate in a way that made the inside of her chest feel warm.

  When they pulled apart, Kristina looked shaken.

  “How am I special?” The question was quiet, and she asked it even though everything inside her was screaming for her to shut the hell up and just continue the moment between them. For the first time, she felt she was experiencing whatever Kristina was underneath all of her dominant walls.

  Kristina’s tongue darted out to lick full lips, and Parker brushed a strand of dark hair back over her shoulder, a little guilty that she was making her uncomfortable.

  “If you were anyone else I’d either give you some cream for your behind, or apply it myself, then send you home.”

  The thought of leaving her now hurt in a way Parker didn’t understand.

  “Do you want me to go?”

  Kristina shook her head. She swallowed hard, and when she spoke again, her words were a whisper.

  “No… I… I want to take you to my room and undress you, take a shower with you, and then rub arnica on your backside.” A sliver of her usual confidence emerged with the comment, and Parker blushed.

  “Then you can please me if you like, or I can pleasure you some more. Either way, I’d like to take care of you for a little while longer before I let you go.”

  As messed up as it was, Parker’s heart soared at the words.

  “Okay.”

  THE SENSATION OF being watched woke her. Amber light was just beginning to break the darkness, and she guessed it was a little before dawn. They must have fallen asleep in bed after their shower. Her butt still smarted where it met the covers.

  “Hey.”

  The dark eyes that had been watching her turned wide, caught.

  Still half-asleep, too tired to process or second-guess, Parker rolled into her. The length of Kristina’s naked body pressed against her own was bliss, and she luxuriated in it.

  “Why are you awake?”

  Kristina stumbled over the answer, and it was adorable and Parker was too sleepy to think much of it. She leaned down and kissed the words off Kristina’s lips, threading her fingers through thick dark hair, holding her close.

  Even after the erotic confusion of the spanking, her body sparked, though the reaction was slower, gentler, deeper than usual.

  Soft hands held her hips, trailing up her sides, running lightly down her back. She wanted Kristina to touch her everywhere, just as much as she wanted to feel her fall apart in her hands. Their tongues danced soft, and she slipped her thigh between tan ones, pleased when it was met with the slide of hot, wet flesh. Kristina felt so good, so warm and smooth against her. Somehow they just fit together like this, in a way that pleased Parker’s sleep-addled brain tremendously.

  She hummed her contentment, pressing one last soft kiss to the corner of her lips before she trailed kisses lower. She was working down the side of her neck when Kristina tensed beneath her and pulled away. Parker groaned.

  “I…actually, I have yoga!” Kristina seemed awfully surprised by her own appointment. Unpleasantly awake now, Parker squinted through the dark, confused, as she watched Kristina hurry around the room, grabbing clothes and bumping into the dresser, which sounded painful, before she scurried out of the door.

  What just happened?

  WEARING YESTERDAY’S SLACKS, and a clean T-shirt she had found on the dresser in Kristina’s room, she stepped tentatively out onto the beach.

  Parker had watched Kristina through the big glass window in the bedroom for longer than she would admit. She enjoyed the way her body twisted easily into the various poses, found her fascinating as she flexed deeper into them as the sun rose behind her.

  She was just as beautiful now, knees tugged up to her chest, sitting on her yoga mat in a hoodie and sweatpants, watching the sun rise over the sea.

  “I brought you coffee.”

  Parker held out the mug, hoping it would smooth things over, give her a reason for being out there, a reason to get past whatever had caused Kristina to run that morning. In hindsight she thought she knew, but she wasn’t ready to think about it.

  “Thanks, sweetheart. Join me in my office?”

  Parker passed the coffee down to her and rolled her eyes, sitting carefully beside her on the mat.

  “Quite the view you have out here.”

  She studied the horizon, blue and red and gold as far as she could see.

  “Yeah, it is…” A note in Kristina’s voice made her turn, and when she did, Kristina was looking at her, something stormy in her eyes. If Parker was braver, bolder, stupider, she would have kissed her.

  Kristina looked away and the moment broke.

  “I have business meetings today
, starting at eleven.”

  Parker nodded, embarrassed, aware that she was being asked to leave.

  “Right. I’ll go and um, grab my stuff. I just wanted to bring you coffee and…”

  She didn’t know what else to say, already scrambling to her feet. Kristina’s strong fingers caught her around the arm.

  For a moment, she thought Kristina was going to say something profound; then the expression in her eyes changed, and she seemed to think better of it.

  “Can I see you out?”

  Parker nodded, reaching down a hand, laughing as she tugged the shorter woman to her feet, both of them spilling their coffee, though neither of them seemed to mind.

  By the time she was in her car, Parker felt better, Kristina leaning down through the open window watching her turn the keys. Something had changed between them, she knew they both felt it, and somehow, it left them off balance, out of sync again when they had just found their rhythm together.

  “I really do have meetings all day.”

  She looked up at Kristina, suddenly shy.

  “I know.” Is my disappointment at leaving that obvious?

  “If I can get through enough today, maybe I’ll have some time tomorrow. I’ll call you?”

  She nodded.

  “Drive safe, sweetheart.”

  Parker was disappointed when Kristina pushed off the side of the car and stood back in the driveway to watch her leave. She’d wanted her to kiss her.

  Chapter Eleven

  “I DON’T REALLY know where to start, so I’m just going to come out and say it.”

  Parker nodded, squeezing Marion’s hands tight in her own, trying her best to be present and here and engaged with whatever huge thing had her best friend looking so nervous, and kind of excited.

  Things with Kristina had been fraught. She hadn’t been able to meet on Sunday, and now almost a whole week later, sitting on Marion’s sofa on Friday night, Parker worried she had messed things up between them permanently.

  Marion’s fingers returned her squeeze.

  “We’re having another baby.”