My Only Reason (A Love is Love Book Book 1)

by Leigh Lennon

  It immediately occurs to me who he’s talking about. “Dallas Phillips?”

  “Yeah.” He laces his hand with mine and continues, “I didn’t confirm it, but I certainly didn’t deny it…”

  “You’re right. And I’ve always suspected he’s not a ladies’ man.” Ry’s poker face is spot-on, and I let it drop, knowing regardless of what Dallas has confided to Ry, he’ll honor it. “Anyway, I think we can trust him,” I say.

  I roll over to my side, where we’re face-to-face, and all I want in this moment is a night that will get me through to the next time I’ll be with Ryder again.

  “I’m so happy when I’m with you, baby.” His voice is shaky. “I sometimes think I’ve dreamed this.”

  I shift his arm from my shoulders to down past my stomach. “Have you imagined this, baby?” I probe, his fingers almost tickling the tip of my cock.

  “Yeah, this shows me dreams are real, after all.” His entire hand wraps around my cock. But I don’t want his fingers. I need his mouth. I move my body and push off the bed. I pull on his hands, and he’s brought to the edge of the bed. With my palm on the top of his jet-black head of hair, I adjust him toward my erection to take all of me in his mouth.

  “Are you suggesting you want my lips wrapped around your cock?” In Ry’s question, he’s playful right now.

  “Get your fucking mouth wrapped around my dick, or so help me, I’ll pop that crazy sexy ass of yours.”

  “Oh, baby, you know how to sweet talk me,” Ry replies. And just when I’m about to give him a little love slap, his lips find their way around my cock.

  “Yep, like that, oh shit, asshole, you tease me, and then you get to work like the expert cock sucker you are.” His eyes tilt to mine, and he gives me a cock-filled smile. “Ah, you’re beautiful, Ry, but with me in your mouth, you’re fucking unforgettable.”

  The speed increases, and I close my eyes, the sensation of his tongue and mouth has me holding on to his head to steady myself. I don’t realize I groan until I let loose, and Ry swallows my load. He pushes me to my knees and pulls me into his sexy body, and I’m at a loss for words. He wraps me next to him, caressing my hair and dropping sweet kisses on my head.

  “That was…” I don’t have the words.

  “It was everything, Crush. You’re everything.”

  And we stay like this until it’s past midnight and I leave for home. At my house, in my bed, it’ll seem so lonely without him next to me.

  17

  Ryder

  “Where’s the birthday girl?” I call out, and I open the door to Crush’s house. Since our night together three days ago, I’ve only seen him at practice. And I miss him.

  The sassy princess comes running at me, and I set down the large pink present in my hand. “Ryda, you came.” She jumps into my arms and hugs me tight around the neck.

  “Why would I not come, princess?” I ask, searching the same eyes as her father’s.

  “Mommy say ova her dead body, you be here.”

  No five-year-old should hear what I think of her mommy, so I keep my reply simple. “Ah, don’t worry about it, princess.”

  She grabs my cheeks. “I’m glad you here. You nice to Pops. He happy with you arounds.”

  The feeling is the same, princess, I think but don’t say out loud. “So, princess, where’s your Pops?”

  Before Brooklyn and I can make our way to the backyard, Kimberly comes down the open staircase. “Brooklyn, come with Grammy for a couple of minutes. Let’s get your brand-new mermaid swimsuit on.” Kimberly approaches me. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She holds me tighter this time. “Tom is in the upstairs game room. He asked if you’d come find him when you got here?”

  “Um, sure.” I lean over to give Brooklyn a peck on the forehead and look around for the anti-Christ, and when I don’t see her, I take the steps to the game room. Though I’ve never had a reason to go upstairs in Crush’s home, I find it easily.

  Tom sees me right away and stands to shake my hand. “Sir, I heard you wanted to see me.”

  He gives me a hearty laugh. “What’s up with this sir bullshit? But, yeah, son, I wanted to chat with you. Have a seat.” He moves to the door to shut it. “I don’t want unwelcome ears to hear this conversation.”

  I know he’s speaking of his ex-daughter-in-law. “Is she here yet? I guess she told Brooklyn I wasn’t welcome.”

  “Yeah, you missed the war of the worlds. She and Christopher went toe to toe over it. But she left and was told only to come back if she could be on her best behavior.”

  “Who told her this?” I have my suspicions.

  His face, which is so much like his son’s, brims with pride. “It was Kimberly. I took Brooklyn upstairs and turned the music up loud to block out the noise for her. But my Kimberly has waited years to tell the bitch off, and she finally got her chance.”

  My lip curls up as I open my mouth with my tongue pushing out slightly. “I don’t hate people, Tom, but if I did, she’d be on the top of my list.”

  “Oh, yeah, me, too.” He stops and scratches his beard. He’s the exact carbon copy of his son. “So, I bet you’re wondering what this is all about?”

  “I have a feeling,” I reply, rubbing the back part of my neck. It’s what I do when I’m a bit nervous.

  We both sit down on two loveseats that face one another. “I know about you and Crush. And I hope you know I couldn’t be prouder of my son for choosing love for the first time. I always supported him being the dad to Brooklyn, but he’s missed you for years. I guess what I’m saying is, Kimberly and I will always be your two cheerleaders in your life together.”

  I wasn’t aware Crush told his mother. “Kimberly knows?”

  “He sat us down last night to share how you all are building toward something. He knows you are his forever. But I need to make sure, Ry, you aren’t going to leave when it gets hard, and it sure as fuck will get hard.”

  I rub the back of my neck raw, knowing this question has been coming. “I fucked up, Tom. I can’t change it, but I’d walk away from the game before I walked away from the man I love.”

  He gives me the same toothy grin as his son. “That’s what I wanted to hear, but I gotta tell you something about Christopher.”

  I sit back, my hand still on my neck, not quite ready for this revelation. “Remember the year you went to the big game?” Tom asks.

  “Yeah?” Of course, I remember the game. It was so close, and we lost by a two-point conversion.

  “Christopher wanted someone there for you. And he couldn’t bring himself to go since your team beat his team to get there. Anyway, he was still so angry at you—for leaving. But he couldn’t bear to know you didn’t have any family there to cheer you on. So he sent Jesse and me to be there for you.” I drop my arms to my sides. “We were going to reach out to you, but after the loss, we decided to let you be. But I need you to know that even in Christopher’s fury, he never stopped loving you.” Hearing Tom’s words leaves me completely numb, but I’ve never known an overwhelming bond like I have with Crush.

  I’m following Tom out of the game room when a large set of hands reaches out from an open room, pulling me in. With his Christmastime scent, I’m aware of who it is. He twirls me around and kicks the door shut, and lets me out of his reach just to lock it.

  “Was my pops giving you the talk? The don’t hurt my son one?”

  His eyes are on fire, an electric current causing them to stay ablaze. “Yeah, something like that.” I reach out to the back of his neck, but as much as I need his flavor mixed with mine, I have more to say. “Why didn’t you tell me about the big game, the one you sent your pops and Jesse to so I’d have someone there for me?”

  He backs up, sitting on a desk, to what I assume is his home office. “I loved you and hated you at the same time. But it was still the most important game of your life. I couldn’t stand knowing your parents weren’t there.”

  I move between his large legs. “You did all of that fo
r me?” My hands have fallen to his back, and his fiery eyes have softened.

  “I didn’t know how to channel the emotions, so I did what I could at the moment.” His tender lips meet mine, and he’s not devouring me. No, he’s savoring everything that I am to him, and I do the same. He pulls back, but the tender moment is gone when his fingers rake through his hair.

  “As much as I want to stay like this, I need to get back downstairs before everyone arrives, but Mom and Pops are taking Brooklyn to an indoor waterpark tonight. It’s just you and me, baby.”

  The idea of us together after several days apart causes my cock to strain against my swim shorts. “Fuck, I may have to calm myself down before I go sporting this boner around for everyone to see.”

  His chuckle makes my insides melt, and he continues, “I’m going to apologize in advance for my ex-wife.” His smile falls. “She showed up this morning to help with the decorations. Brooklyn mentioned you’d be here and how you’re her new favorite person in life, because you call her princess.”

  The idea of Alison’s face at Brooklyn’s sweet words makes me chuckle in delight. “Well, I’m pretty lovable, after all.”

  He strokes my arm with his hand. “And humble, too, pretty boy.” His tone instantly changes back to one of anxiety. “Anyway, Al and I had a stand-off. My mom told her where to shove it and not to come back until she was over her bitchy ways.”

  “Your cool and collected mother who never swears said this?” Now, I really wish I’d been there for what he’s describing.

  “Oh, yeah, and she let the f-word fly, too. My dad took Brooklyn away from it all. So, if she comes back, just ignore her if you can.”

  “And this all stems from what? Her being jealous of me?”

  He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “You always came before her when we dated. In her heart, she has to know I love you.”

  I shrug. My last concern is with Alison, but for his daughter. “ I’ll play nice—no worries about the she-devil.”

  He gives me one more peck on the cheek, and we leave his office, heading to his little girl’s giggles downstairs.

  I’m in the pool, and Brooklyn insists she wants her floaties off for her party. In her father’s strong words, she can only be without them if one of us is in the pool with her. Her big large crystal blues, like her father’s, begged me, and I couldn’t say no. And because the party hasn’t officially started, it’s just her and me.

  Every minute, she’s jumping in, swimming to the steps, and back ready to jump in, again. Alison makes her appearance, and Brooklyn catches a glimpse of her mama. She doesn’t run over to her. “Princess, your mama’s here, sweetheart.” She glances over her shoulder and has the same ticked-off smirk on her face her dad gets.

  She’s floating in the water, and when she cocks her head to the side and purses her lips together, I see another resemblance to her dad. “Yeah, I not ready to talk to her. I mad at her.” Well, and just as blunt as her father, too. I don’t know why I’m surprised.

  I have to admit, with the outward appearance of Alison, she’s a beautiful woman. Deep auburn hair, steel blue eyes, and a small petite build. She’s on the arm of an older man, maybe in his mid-forties.

  Brooklyn swims from me, blatantly ignoring her mama, as she glances Alison’s way again, and turns her head without saying anything. Brooklyn jumps in, swimming toward me, and holds my neck. “I know she and Pops fights. She mean to him. I don’t like it.”

  You and me both, princess, I think. When I glance back at Alison, she’s lost her swimsuit cover and approaches us in a bikini I’d categorize as very inappropriate for a child’s birthday party. Jumping into the water, she swims up to Brooklyn.

  “Hey, birthday girl.” She has her hands extended to her daughter. Brooklyn pushes away from me and swims to the steps, without a word to her mom.

  Alison turns to me with a sneer on her face. And this is what makes Alison ugly. “Stay away from me, Ryder. If I had my way, you wouldn’t be here.”

  I told Crush I wouldn’t make waves, but I can’t leave this alone. “And how is that working out for you, Al? Your daughter seems to be upset with you, so who are you really hurting?”

  I begin to walk around her to get ready to catch Brooklyn, and she holds my wrist. “Alison, your daughter is watching.” I don’t jerk away from her, and her hand grips me tighter.

  “I know you love Crush, and if I didn’t know for a fact that he was into pussy, I would think there’s a tryst between you, but I know he likes dicks as much as most straight men.”

  “Mommy!” Brooklyn screams from the side of the pool, and we both twist toward her. But by the time I’m able to swim to the side where she’d been standing, she runs off crying.

  “Great, Ryder, see what you’ve done,” she scolds me like I’m a four-year-old. Her tight grip is still around my wrist, and I remove her fingers from my touch. I swim to the side, pushing myself out of the water, leaving the bitch in the pool before I’m tempted to drown her.

  I make my way through the double doors where Crush’s eyes swing to mine. “Is she okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah, thank goodness, no one’s here yet.” Kimberly has Brooklyn cradled in her arms.

  “I’m sorry.” My heart has already connected with Brooklyn, and maybe it’s partly because of my deep love for her daddy. But there’s something about this girl. She’s become a fixture in my life, as much as Crush always has been.

  He pushes to his feet, and I jut my head toward the kitchen, gesturing for him to follow me. “Ry, I watched it. It wasn’t you. You aren’t the reason my daughter is crying in my mother’s lap.”

  I lower my voice. “She’s jealous. She admitted she knew I always loved you. Although she made mention you weren’t into men, so it was my loss.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Let me leave. This is Brooklyn’s party, not a pissing match for Alison. Let’s remove her aggravation and give Brooklyn the party she deserves.”

  He takes in a deep breath. “But then Alison will think she’s won, and the next fit will be worse.”

  “True, but are you going to make your point at the expense of giving your daughter a good party?”

  He closes his eyes, letting out a long deep breath. “Fuck, you’re right.” He slams his hand onto the quartz countertop but not hard enough to damage it.

  “Come over after the party, Crush, since your parents are taking her to the water park. This is what adults do; we just know Alison isn’t one.”

  The gentleman who Alison has brought with her approaches us. “James,” Crush begins, “tell Alison she got her way. My best friend is leaving.”

  “Um, yeah, I’m leaving, too. We came together. I was going to ask you to give her a ride home, but she can Uber for all I care.”

  “Whoa, what?” Crush asks, swinging his gaze from mine and back to this man I know as James in front of us.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t be with a woman who treats others like this. Her jealousy tells me many things about her, and well…fuck, you were married to the woman, and divorced her, so you should know.”

  He pulls out a little envelope. “I adore your daughter. She wanted a new Barbie dream home, so this is for her to pick out exactly what she’d like.” He rakes his hands through his dark brown hair pebbled with gray. “I’m forty-three fucking years old and don’t have the patience for Alison’s shit.”

  He leaves without another word, and I’m speechless. “Do you think she knows he left?”

  “I don’t fucking care, but if not, I can’t wait to see the look on her face,” Crush answers. I wish I could see this, too, and just picturing it creates a karma is a bitch sort of feeling of revenge.

  I’m out of the house before Brooklyn realizes I’m gone. A swarm of five-year-old girls in mermaid swimsuits begins ascending on the house when I leave.

  I pull away from Brooklyn and Crush for now, understanding that Alison will forever be a thorn in our side. It doesn’t matter because the idea of a forev
er with Crush and, in turn, Brooklyn puts a goofy-ass grin on my face.

  18

  Crush

  The party starts without issue, and my daughter is distracted by all her little friends, she hasn’t realized Ryder left. It’s funny how she’s attached herself to him as quickly as she has. It’s as if she can sense he’s more important than simply my friend. In both Brooklyn and Ryder, I have everything.

  I’ve kept my distance from Alison, but all good things come to an end, and she approaches me. “Ryder left, Al, because it’s what’s best for Brooklyn. Funny how her own mother doesn’t get that.”

  “Yeah, go get fucked, Christopher.” She lowers her voice just enough that all the parents and kids don’t overhear. “Have you seen James? He went to get a drink about thirty minutes ago and hasn’t returned.”

  I let out a delightful chuckle. It should bother me to deliver this news to the mother of my daughter, but it doesn’t. Alison has done everything within her power to ruin this day for Brooklyn.

  “Oh, he didn’t tell you? He left. Gave me Brooklyn’s gift for later.”

  “He what? He up and left without a good-bye? He was my ride here.” Her voice is drawing the attention of many parents sitting on the deck at the various tables I’ve set up for the party.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Al. He was upset over the way you were acting, calling them red flags.” I attempt to hide my smile.

  “How the fuck am I supposed to get home?”

  She stomps her foot, and I’m already three steps away from her when I turn around to say, “I guess there’s always Uber.”

  It feels too fucking great, but it still makes me laugh. The she-devil is finding karma is a bitch.

  With Alison out of my space, Brooklyn runs up to me. She’s like her mom in this aspect and knows how to hold a grudge.