Pierced by Love

by Laura L. Walker

  “I kept putting her off when she brought up the subject of having another baby, thinking she would eventually drop it. But she didn’t. So we tried one more time.”

  A sickening sensation pervaded Pierce’s stomach. He’d never heard any of this. “And it didn’t go well,” he guessed.

  Jared shook his head. “Not at all. She ended up in the hospital. Do you remember staying with Grandma and Grandpa Logan for a few weeks when you were seven?”

  Pierce thought back to his childhood to the time when he and his brothers had been taken out of school and stayed with his grandparents in Oceanside. He distinctly remembered sticking to Craig like glue when he was confused about where his parents were. Pierce could still recall how scared he’d been. “We were told that Mom was sick.”

  “Well, she had a complication with that pregnancy. She started hemorrhaging thirteen weeks into it and the doctor put her on bed rest. But it wasn’t enough to sustain the life inside of her and she lost the baby once again. The doctor told her that she should stop trying for any more children. She was angry with me for agreeing with the doctor. She had a hysterectomy soon after.

  “She cried and cried, telling me that she’d wanted a baby girl. I felt so helpless. I didn’t know what to tell her, so I thought moving our family closer to her parents would help. I started my own business and asked her to keep the books for me. Getting the business off the ground was my first priority. I was almost never home. Sarah would get after me when I finally dragged myself in, berating me for not taking better care of myself or being home for you boys. I justified it by saying that I was building up my list of contacts.”

  Jared paused for a long moment, staring at the floor. His T-shirt was drenched with sweat. When he looked up, Pierce was tortured by the look of anguish on his face. “I’ve never told you this, but I had even started drinking when I met with my business associates outside the office. At first, I was fine with passing myself off as a member of the Church. But as time went on, I found that a lot of my contacts wanted to meet with me on Sundays. The more time I spent away from home and church, the more weakened my spiritual resolve became.”

  Pierce’s mouth dropped open. “You drank?”

  “Yeah. I’m not proud of my behavior, Pierce. I was ashamed of myself even then. In fact, I had to come clean with the bishop before I could baptize Gage. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn much from that experience and fell back into the same pattern as before. That was the catalyst for the breakup of our marriage. Your mother put up with it for as long as she could. In her own way, she was trying to help by encouraging me to come back to church, to pay more attention to you boys, and to stop drinking. But I felt like she was constantly nagging me. By the time Craig received his mission call, we were practically strangers.”

  Pierce’s dad stopped the elliptical machine, closing his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. “We made one last effort to keep it together, but everything just unraveled from there. Your mother quit keeping the books for me. I hired Isaac Rutledge to keep track of my investments. Isaac was the husband of your mother’s friend and had been out of work for some time. She was the one who convinced me to give him a chance. That decision proved costly later, however, when Isaac was found embezzling from our company. My partner, Tom Stewart, and I sued him, but we never saw any of the money.”

  Pierce nodded thoughtfully. He’d been informed about Isaac’s traitorous behavior in one of his mother’s letters while on his mission.

  His dad continued his story. “It was the first time that I felt like I was in over my head, yet I was too proud to turn to the Lord for help. My business collapsed along with my bank account and I had to start over from scratch. I blamed your mother for my lack of judgment where Isaac was concerned. She filed for divorce and I moved out. I was so numb that I don’t even remember what I said to you when we called your mission president.”

  “You said that it was for the best. And at that moment, even after the garbage you dished out in my teenage years, I hated you more than I ever had before.” Pierce wasn’t about to sugarcoat this. He’d needed to say it for a long time. “And to think that I was a missionary representing Christ, telling the people about the blessings of the restored gospel. I felt like a fraud.”

  “I’m sorry, Pierce. It wasn’t supposed to happen. If I had made better choices through the years, your mother and I would probably still be together.”

  “You’ve got that right.”

  “When you’re in that kind of a hole, you don’t think you’re hurting anyone else but yourself. Or you don’t care. It wasn’t until I lost everything that I realized what I had ruined.”

  From the devastated look on his face, Pierce knew that he was telling the truth. Still, he couldn’t let go of his anger. He adjusted the settings on the machine to begin his cooldown. “Why did it take you four more years to come back to church?”

  “Shame,” Jared answered quietly. “I felt like I couldn’t repent, didn’t deserve forgiveness.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  A small smile slipped onto Jared’s face. “Landon. Grandchildren have a way of softening a person where nothing else can penetrate. I missed out on seeing my oldest son married in the temple. Then I felt unworthy to even show up for my oldest grandchild’s baby blessing. I felt like the worst kind of father for those two acts alone. But Craig gave me another chance and invited me to Landon’s blessing. I really wanted to be there, but I didn’t know if I could go and face all of you—especially your mother. Craig convinced me that I would be welcomed. So I went and sat next to Gage. But when I watched you stand and follow your brother to the front of the chapel and help support Landon with your hand, something hit me square in the gut. The compulsion to stand was so strong. I didn’t know if I would walk up there or leave, but I almost embarrassed myself. When the blessing ended, I promised myself that I would start attending church again.”

  Pierce was astounded by his dad’s experience. Could it really have been as simple as he claimed? That Craig’s invitation, coupled with the Spirit prompting him, was enough to make him act? Of course, his dad had been humbled through the demise of his business first.

  “How did you meet Tamara?”

  A lopsided smile crept onto his face. “I was gradually becoming active again when I was called to work at the LDS Employment Center as an employment specialist. Tamara came in, wanting to find a job. She was working for a computer software company and was feeling pressured from the demands her boss was putting on her, so she wanted to go a different direction. I could see that she was trying to be brave, but with a house payment and her daughter serving a mission, she was worried about how she’d make it. I inquired about her home and she admitted that it was too big for the two of them and that she’d like to downsize, maybe even move back to North Carolina where she’s from. So I offered to list her house on the market. She was grateful.”

  “What is it with you and Mom and missions?” Pierce muttered under his breath.

  “Hmm?” His dad looked at him sharply. “What did you say?”

  Ruefully, Pierce clarified, “It’s just that Mom is dating a guy who has a son on a mission. Tamara has a daughter on a mission. And you and Mom broke up while I was serving mine.”

  “She is? Dating someone, I mean?”

  “Yeah.” Now Pierce regretted his impulsive words. “Never mind. So then you asked Tamara out?”

  Jared’s eyes lit up. “How could I resist? She’s beautiful, smart, sincere, and she’s a survivor. I was impressed with the way she rebuilt her life after escaping the clutches of her ex-husband and raising her daughter alone for the past nine years.”

  “Why didn’t she go to North Carolina sooner?” Pierce asked dubiously.

  “She’s a convert to the Church. She really doesn’t have much family support. She always counted that option as her last resort.”

  “How did she end up here in the first place?”

  “She and her ex-husband mo
ved out here for a job opportunity. However, Tamara is convinced that he moved her out here for the sole purpose of isolating her from anyone she knew as a way of being able to keep her under tighter control, which worked in his favor for several years.”

  “Why didn’t you invite us to the wedding?”

  “It was just a civil wedding performed by her bishop. Hopefully, we’ll be sealed next year when we have our temple clearances worked out. We’d like for all of you to be there for that.”

  His statement was nice as far as olive branches went, but Pierce wasn’t ready to reach for it quite yet.

  “Now I have a question to ask you, Pierce.”

  Instantly on alert, he responded, “What’s that?”

  “What is Noelle to you, really, and why did you invite her? Don’t get me wrong. She seems like a nice girl, but I’m wondering about the true nature of your relationship.”

  Short of telling him that it was none of his business, what could Pierce say? “She’s, um, in a tough situation with her sister, who is also her roommate at NAU. She needed a break from her.”

  “And you care about how it turns out for her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why is that?”

  Pierce shrugged. “I don’t know. We’re just friends.”

  “Who can read other’s thoughts?”

  “What?”

  “I saw the look that passed between you and her at the dinner table last night. It reminded me of your mother and me.”

  That was the last thing Pierce wanted to hear. “It’s been nice chatting with you, Dad, but I’ve got to hit the shower now,” he said abruptly.

  “Pierce.”

  With his hand on the doorknob, Pierce stopped midstride and pivoted. “What?” he asked warily.

  “I didn’t mean to spook you.”

  “You didn’t,” he denied.

  A knowing smile crossed his dad’s face. “I think I did. But don’t discount her as a possibility. There’s something between you and her whether you want to acknowledge it or not. My advice to you would be to find out what it is.”

  Wanting to tell his father to mind his own business, Pierce was surprised to hear himself say, “I’ll think about it,” instead. He opened the door and made his escape.

  FIFTEEN

  AND SO I’VE been living in So Cal ever since.” Noelle sat at the breakfast bar with Craig, Marissa, and Gage, listening to Tamara’s summary of her life. Tamara was a likeable person, in her opinion. Of course, Pierce was the one whose opinion mattered on that score. For the third time, she glanced back toward the entrance. Where was he, anyway?

  “Has anyone seen Pierce this morning?” she asked casually before taking a bite of her bran muffin. She’d already polished off Tamara’s fruit salad, which was unlike anything Noelle had ever tasted, with tropical fruit and a wonderfully light yogurt-based dressing.

  Negative responses followed her inquiry. While Noelle was surrounded by kind people, she really didn’t know any of them very well and was starting to feel uncomfortable. Where could he be? “Please excuse me for a moment.”

  She left the room and found a seat on one of the identical couches that faced each other perpendicularly from the gas fireplace in the great room. Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed Pierce’s number. He answered on the third ring. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Pierce. Where are you?” Noelle asked impatiently.

  “Good morning to you too,” he said cheerfully.

  “I didn’t know that you’re a late sleeper. I had you pegged as just the opposite.”

  “I’ve been up for over two hours, I’ll have you know.”

  “Then where are you?” she hissed. “We’re eating breakfast and you’re missing in action.”

  “Noelle, Noelle,” Pierce chided. “Do you always have to be so dramatic?”

  “Pierce!” She growled a warning.

  “Okay. I take it you’re not a morning person. Have you ever been to SeaWorld?”

  The unexpected question caught her off guard. “Once when I was a kid. Why?”

  “How would you like to spend the day there?”

  “I thought that we were all planning to go to the beach.”

  Pierce replied, “The others can go. They won’t miss us. The water’s too cold to swim in during this time of year anyway.”

  But there would be other things to do, she thought. Beach volleyball, looking for shells, building a sand castle with Sophie, people watching—Noelle was definitely a people person!—and soaking up the sun, all while enjoying good conversation, sounded like fun to her. But SeaWorld was tempting too.

  “Do you have tickets?”

  “Yep. For the two of us.”

  “Confident that I would say yes, were you?” she asked drily.

  “Actually, I was hoping you would, but if not, then I’m sure I can find someone else to pass the tickets off to.”

  Noelle knew that tickets to SeaWorld were not cheap. So how had he purchased them so quickly? And should she reimburse him for hers? What was the proper protocol in this situation? Noelle was beginning to wish that she had paid more attention to her mother’s lectures on propriety while growing up. “I’d love to go with you.”

  Pierce wouldn’t hear of her paying for her own ticket. They chattered the morning away while they visited the exhibits. Noelle could honestly say that she’d never felt this comfortable around any other guy, including Mike or Chase. Feeling a little overwhelmed by that thought, she decided to keep it to herself. She was sure, however, that Pierce could tell that something was up from the way he kept glancing at her from his peripheral vision. When had they become so attuned to one another?

  Noelle and Pierce enjoyed the dolphin show as well as the walrus and seal show. They walked for miles, it seemed, stopping every so often to look at the penguins, sharks, and beluga whales. They rode a few rides and then stopped at a vendor and grabbed some lunch before heading over to the show that thousands of people came to see every year: Shamu. Scanning the open arena, Pierce turned to Noelle. “Splash Zone or non-Splash Zone?”

  It only took a second to decide. They’d already gotten wet on the Shipwreck Rapids ride. Though she’d brought a light jacket, it was still damp. Nevertheless, Noelle figured that she might as well get the full experience. “Splash Zone, definitely!”

  Pierce grinned in agreement. They sat down and chatted while waiting for the show to begin. Soon, however, Noelle found it difficult to focus on what Pierce was saying due to the loud and somewhat offensive language of the people sitting directly behind them. Noelle glanced back to see two couples with their teenaged children eating their hot dogs, chips, and drinks. Noelle didn’t begrudge them a memorable experience, but she was feeling decidedly grumpy about the fact that their profanity, which easily trumped all that she’d heard from Gage thus far, was infringing on Pierce’s and her own enjoyment. Oh well, she thought, trying to calm herself. The show will start soon and they’ll be forced to quiet down.

  Not so. If anything, the teens became louder than before when they saw the enormous mammals circling the aquatic arena. Noelle glanced at Pierce to see if he was as disturbed about their behavior as she was. She slightly shifted her head to indicate the commotion behind them. His brows dipped and he nodded almost imperceptibly. She shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the trainers who were talking via microphone to the crowd.

  Just then, the orca whale leaped into the air and dove under the water, creating a giant splash. Noelle and Pierce were soaked by the spray. It was exhilarating.

  At the same moment, loud squeals were heard from behind. Noelle tried to squelch her growing annoyance, but then Pierce tilted his head toward the two families. Noelle turned to see every member scrambling to gather their food, clothing, and baggage before seeking higher seating. She turned back to Pierce with mixed emotions. The relief she felt was also reflected on his face.

  She smiled at Pierce. He looked silly with his wet hair plastered to his scalp, yet Pierce wa
s still one of the best-looking guys she knew. His mouth slowly relaxed and his eyes penetrated hers for what seemed an eternity before he lowered his head toward hers.

  Time stood still. Noelle’s breathing stopped, yet her heart felt like it was going to jump from her rib cage. Noelle held onto her seat by sheer force of will, digging her nails into the cold metal, while her stomach did a flip-flop that almost matched the one the whale was performing in the air.

  The water came again, the frigid force dispelling their trance. She pulled back and wiped her own wet hair from her skin, a frisson of fear mixing with regret. She tried to concentrate on the show, but her eyes kept darting to Pierce, trying to discern from his body language what he was thinking. Unfortunately, he was giving nothing away. Her breathing gradually returned to normal.

  The show concluded and the audience stood to filter out of the arena. “I think I’m ready to go back to the house,” she said quietly. “I’m getting cold.”

  He studied her for a long moment and nodded. “Okay.”

  The ride back was filled with an awkward silence. Pierce had borrowed his dad’s truck, the same one that Gage had used to pick them up from the airport. “I hope the others had as much fun as we did today,” she said, trying to chase away the heavy atmosphere.

  “I’m sure they did.”

  Finally, Noelle couldn’t take the awful silence any longer. “Pierce?” she said quietly.

  Turning his quizzical gaze on her, he answered, “Yeah?”

  “Why did you almost kiss me?” Noelle wasn’t sure if bringing this topic up at the moment was a good idea, but she felt compelled to say something.

  His mouth tightened as he turned his attention back to the traffic. He waited so long to speak that Noelle had given up on receiving an answer. “I wanted to kiss you yesterday in the garden, but I managed to talk myself out of it,” he admitted reluctantly.