Succubus Lord 10

by Eric Vall

“They can wait a little longer,” she mused.

  Damn straight, they could.

  Chapter 16

  “Sooooo, is it safe to come in?” Todd’s voice asked from the doorway. “Or are you still doing some sexual healing up in here?”

  The imp’s voice jolted me awake, and a quick glance at the clock told me we’d been asleep for almost an hour.

  “Pssst!” I hissed at the succubi. “Wake up! We fell asleep!”

  Cupi and Libidine both began to stir groggily, but they shot me dirty looks when their eyes finally opened.

  “We meant to do that,” Cupi retorted with a scowl.

  “You might have,” Liby said with a yawn, “but I don’t think I could have stayed up even if I wanted to. I was exhausted.”

  “Oh please,” the Sister of Greed retorted, “Jacob and I did most of the work.”

  “If only,” Liby said with a loud laugh. “I’m the one who got you to try that position in the first place, remember? Jacob was just … very receptive to the idea.”

  “Fuck yeah, I was,” I laughed as I rolled out of bed and went for my pants. “I can’t believe I’d never done that before.”

  “It’s standard threesome fare.” Cupi shrugged, and then she got up out of bed.

  My eyes were laser-focused on her tight ass as she walked over to her heap of clothing on the floor.

  “I can’t say I’ve had a ton of those,” I chuckled. “At least, not before I met you guys. My last human girlfriend was kinda a stuck-up bitch.”

  “We don’t talk about her!” Todd shrieked from the other side of the door. “That Devil-Woman ain’t got no place in this castle!”

  “Can you hear us talking?” I shouted at the door, somewhat annoyed.

  “Nah, bro,” the imp admitted, “you should know by now I got a sixth sense about … her.”

  “I really hope I never meet this woman,” Libidine pouted as she pulled on her skimpy pants. “It sounds like she caused you and Todd a lot of pain. I’d honestly probably kill her on sight.”

  “‘Pain’ is putting it lightly,” I agreed. “Tamira--”

  “Nooooooooooo!” Todd hissed loudly. “Do not invoke the name of the Great Satan!”

  “My ex,” I whispered. “She almost broke up mine and Todd’s friendship, but I ended up seeing through her bullshit.”

  “Still,” Liby scoffed, “she sounds like a terrible person.”

  “It’s fine, Todd,” I called out as I pulled my shirt over my head. “You can come in now.”

  The imp scurried into the room, hopped up to jump on the bed, and smacked into the side. He let out a loud grunt as he hit the ground, shook himself off, and then successfully flipped onto the top of my mattress.

  “Totally meant to do that, bro,” he promised. “Anywho, how’s it hangin? Please tell me you killed Kegger with some sort of super-badass one-liner.”

  “Uh,” I tried to remember, “I think I just shoved a giant spike through his face.”

  “Oh, come on!” the imp groaned and snapped his fingers. “Not even a ‘get to the point?’ No ‘knife to meet you?’”

  “Sorry, bro,” I laughed and shook my head. “I was fucking beat up by that point. I just wanted it all to be over.”

  “At least we don’t have to worry about Hagar the Horrible anymore,” the imp conceded. “He wasn’t as fun as his comic strip led me to believe.”

  “And with Kegg dead,” Cupi added, “Beelzebub will now find himself without his top Demon Lord. If we can keep this up, the King of the Eighth Circle will be nothing but a shell of his former self.”

  “I wouldn’t count on it,” I reminded her. “There are still his other two big Demon Lords out there. Plus all of his succubi and loyal soldiers.”

  “Those are inconsequential,” the blonde succubus argued. “The real power rests with the Demon Lords. Why do you think we all go through the ceremony where we bond our essences together? The souls of a Demon Lord and his King are deeply connected. When one of them dies, so does a part of their king.”

  “The ‘ol Horocrux route,” Todd noted, “I dig it. Just as long as we don’t have to fight any giant snakes, bro. The Toddster draws the line at giant-ass snakes.”

  “Perhaps now would be a good time to tell him about Abbadon’s pet?” Libidine whispered to Cupi.

  “No way,” the blonde woman disagreed. “If he knows about Serpico, there’s no way he’ll follow us into the Seventh Circle. Should we ever find ourselves there.”

  “Hold up there, Cupi,” Todd gasped. “Are you trying to tell me Abbadabadoo has a fucking pet that looks like Al Pacino?”

  “Uhhhh, maybe?” the Sister of Greed returned with a raised eyebrow.

  “Don’t play dumb,” the imp accused, “I remember that movie from the seventies. The one where he plays a whistleblowing cop.”

  Cupi, Liby, and I all looked at each other and tried not to break our farce.

  “That’s right,” Liby giggled. “The Seventh Circle is guarded by this Al Pacino creature.”

  “At least they picked Serpico and not Scarface,” Todd mused. “You don’t fuck with Tony Montana.”

  “Everyone else is waiting on you,” Cupi announced as she turned back to face me. “There was one part of the ceremony we forgot about.”

  “Oh?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as my heart began to pump in my chest. “Does it involve more swapping of bodily fluids?”

  “Unfortunately, no,” Libidine sighed.

  “However, it is the most important part of any Demon Lord’s coronation,” the blonde succubus explained. “The Consecration of Land.”

  “Land?” I continued. “You guys should already know what’s mine is yours … ”

  “We do,” Cupi nodded, “but this is part of becoming a Demon Lord. We still operate on somewhat of a Feudal System down here, so when a new Demon Lord is created, he is given a plot of land as his own.”

  “Does that mean we can’t stay with Jacob here in the castle?” Liby asked with a pout. “Because if that’s the price we have to pay for becoming more powerful, I want to revert.”

  “I don’t think that’s how it works, Lib,” Todd interjected. “Once the cork is popped, there ain’t no putting the champagne back inside.”

  “He’s right,” Cupi agreed, “the ceremony is--”

  “And by ‘cork’ and ‘champagne’ I mean ‘Jakey’s dick’ and ‘Jakey’s love juice,’” the imp interrupted.

  “I understood your metaphor, Todd,” Cupi sighed and then looked back at Libidine. “The ceremony can only go one way. Unfortunately, while we’re in Hell, we must conform to the laws.”

  “Fuck that!” I exclaimed. “You can have all the land you want, but you sure as hell don’t have to leave the castle if you don’t want to.”

  “Really?” Libidine questioned as her eyes lit up. “We can stay here.”

  “Of course you can,” I scoffed, “since when have I ever been one to follow the rules?”

  “If you want to secure the alliances of the other Demon Kings, you may have to,” Cupiditas sighed. “Demons are vain. Appearance is everything to them.”

  “We’ve got three of the Demon Kings of Hell trying to usurp both Lucifer and the Exalted One,” I explained. “At this point, the old rules are out the window. It’s all about survival, and if my allies want to stand a chance at surviving, they’ll stick with me.”

  “All for one and one for all,” Todd noted. “This is where we fight, and this is where they die! Carpe Diem! Leroy Jenkins!”

  “That’s right,” I chuckled, “when it comes to a war this big, we either band together or die.”

  “That should totally go on like, a flag or something,” the imp continued. “Ohhhhhh, you could totally have like, a big snake that’s been cut up, and all the different pieces could be labeled with the different territories. So, it’s like, a fucking allegory for what happens when our allies don’t band together. Ha! The Toddster has done it again!”

  I didn’t
have the heart to tell him he was thinking of the flag we’d seen in our elementary social studies class, the one the colonists used during the Revolution.

  “You’re not wrong.” I nodded to the imp and humored him. “We have to take drastic measures to make sure our allies stay, well, allied. I know all of us here, all my succubi and Demon Lords and Shades, could probably take on Beelzebub and win. We’re a team. A well-oiled machine that can’t be stopped, not even by Lucifer himself. Rules be damned, you’re staying here.”

  “I love it when you talk all tough like that,” Liby shuddered and then held up her arm. “See? Goosebumps.”

  “Wasn’t that the whole point of killing Azazel and freeing you guys?” I asked Cupi. “So we could do what you want?”

  The blonde woman bowed her head like a scolded toddler as she thought about it. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and shot me a devilish look.

  “I suppose it couldn’t hurt if we stayed here,” she agreed, “but we will still need to do the Consecration of Land. Sister Superbia isn’t going to let us get away without doing that one.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?” I shrugged as I threw my feet over the bed and stood up. “Let’s get consecrating.”

  Todd went to take a step, but then he jerked his foot up into the air and let out a gasp.

  “Bro … ” he asked as horror filled his voice, “please tell me I didn’t step in what I think I just stepped in. Because I think I may have just stepped into something no amount of ‘no homo’ will ever fix.”

  “We changed the sheets, Todd,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “Whatever that is, it’s not from us.”

  Todd let out a sigh of relief as he lowered his foot and wiped his brow.

  “Whew,” he mused, “then it’s probably just blood or vomit or piss or some shit like that. No biggie.”

  The four of us sauntered out of the sterile environment of the infirmary and then followed the halls all the way down to the war room. As we entered, I saw literally everyone was there.

  Gula, Sia, and Ira all looked formal as they sat there at the far table with their hands folded across their laps and perfect postures. Meanwhile, Invidia had her head down on the table with the hood of her sweatshirt pulled up to cover her entire face. She must have had earbuds in her ears, because I could distinctly hear the muffled sound of All-American Rejects coming from somewhere.

  Then there was Tristitia. The Sister of Sloth was leaned all the way back in the chair and had her feet lazily propped up on the table. In her mouth was a giant joint, which she puffed from at increasingly fast intervals and then blew the smoke up into the air.

  Mephisto, the Master of Whispers, was sitting right next to the succubus, and he appeared to be less than amused by her antics.

  Could you please blow that in another direction? he asked telepathically.

  Tris just turned her bloodshot purple eyes to the Demon Lord, stared at him curiously, and then went back to smoking.

  “She’s higher than a seven-forty-seven, bro,” Todd whistled. “I’m not even sure she’s gonna remember this whole ceremony.”

  So, you have returned to finish the ceremony? Mephisto questioned. If so, I have a request …

  “Shoot.” I nodded to the orange-skinned demon.

  Well, he began, my current territory resides in the rural area of the Fourth Circle, the Eternal Greens. I would like to see if perhaps I could be reassigned? Perhaps to something a bit more urban, where I can be closer for our meetings?

  Both Tris and Todd perked up at the comment, looked at each other, and smiled widely.

  “Eternal Greens?” the imp gasped. “Now you’re speakin’ my language, Great Pumpkin! Tell us more.”

  It is a territory of Hell that will grow whatever is planted, he explained, however, Azazel had no interest in agriculture, so it’s been vacant for centuries.

  “But shit will still grow there, right?” Todd asked hopefully as he bounced up and down on his feet.

  Correct, the Master of Whispers confirmed with a nod.

  “Sold!” Todd cackled, and then he began to jump up and down with excitement. “Slothy and I call dibs on this one. Ohhhh man, we’re gonna grow so many different strains … it’ll revolutionize the entire economy down here!”

  Tris nodded with a massive grin, but said nothing.

  I was seriously starting to wonder if her motor functions were even working.

  “Alright, it’s settled,” I announced. “Todd and Tris get the Eternal Greens. Cupi, I think it makes the most sense if you take the military district, considering you’re always training in the coliseum.”

  “It would be my honor,” the blonde woman agreed with a bow.

  “Gula, Sia?” I noted as I turned to the two redheaded succubi. “How do Platea Cibum and the Res Regionis sound to you guys?”

  “F-Food street?” Gula gasped. “You’re going to give me food street?”

  “Now that we’re allied with Asmodeus,” I explained, “we can actually get real food imported. I’m putting you in charge of setting up an entire district dedicated to the sustenance of my Shades. You think you can handle that?”

  “Yes!” Gula squealed with delight.

  Superbia seemed just as happy, but she was much more subtle. Her expression remained neutral, but her foot was bouncing up and down against the floor.

  “I would be delighted to have the Fourth Circle’s business district,” she agreed. “I will not fail you.”

  “I know you won’t,” I reassured her. “That’s why I’m entrusting it to you! Now, for Invidia. I figured she could--hello? Are we paying attention?”

  The Sister of Envy’s head was still buried in the table and covered with her hoodie.

  I shook my head with amusement as I reached out, summoned green Hellfire into my hands, and then pulled back the hood rapidly.

  Vidia’s head shot up, and she looked around with wide eyes as she tried to figure out what was going on.

  “I wasn’t sleeping, I swear!” she promised.

  “It’s alright,” I laughed. “I was just telling everyone how, as a new Demon Lord, you are going to be watching over the Shrieking Mountains.”

  “Did you say ‘shrieking mountains?’” the dark-haired woman repeated. “Like, that area of the Fourth Circle that’s far away from everyone and everything?”

  “Yep.” I nodded. “The one where there’s nothing around but the howling winds of the mountain breeze, which just so happen to sound like tortured screams.”

  “Bad. Ass.” Invidia grinned and gave me a thumbs up. “You know me so well.”

  “Then there’s Ira,” I announced as I turned to the Sister of Wrath. “I though I’d let you have--”

  “The political district,” she said before I could even finish. “I begrudgingly accept. There’s gonna be soooo much bureaucracy I can implement, all of which will double as subtle forms of torture! It’s gonna be a blast.”

  Yep, I’d definitely given her the right district.

  “What about me, Jacob?” Libidine’s voice spoke up. “Is there a territory close to here I can watch over?”

  “I’ve got a very special piece of land to give you, Liby,” I promised. “How do you feel about the Plains of Agony?”

  “How fucking romantic, bro,” Todd snickered.

  However, Liby understood the gesture I was making.

  “Aren’t--aren’t those the fields right next to the castle?” she gasped.

  “They are,” I confirmed. “You can stay right here next to me.”

  Libidine let out a “hurrah” of joy and pumped her fist up in the air.

  “I accept,” she agreed. “I accept a million times over.”

  “My offer still stands, though,” I reminded her, and then I turned to the rest of the group. “It stands for all of you, as well. Even though the territories I’m giving you are yours to watch over, you can stay at the castle any time you want. Even permanently, if you’d like. I just have to keep up appearan
ces for my allies.”

  Uh, King Ralston? Mephisto interrupted. Where exactly am I to go now?

  “Where would you like to go, Master of Whispers?” I asked the Demon Lord. “Your service to your king has been beyond adequate.”

  The orange-skinned demon bowed his head gracefully.

  You are too kind, King Ralston, he complimented. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, I wish to have the Screaming Fields. After being locked in a fiery tomb for so long, it would be nice if I could see water from my castle. Also, the sounds of the steam would be soothing beyond belief.

  “Consider it done,” I smiled at my loyal subject, “The Screaming Fields are yours. I’ll have the Shades get on with building you a new castle out there. Now, all that’s left is Gamigin, but I’ll talk to him the next time I see him.”

  Thank you, my king. Mephisto nodded. With that out of the way, there was an urgent matter I wanted to speak with you about …

  “Can we maybe wait on the political stuff?” I sighed. “Even for just, like the next few hours?”

  I think you’ll find my update quite pleasing, King Ralston.

  “Alright, fine,” I conceded. “What do ya got for me?”

  Well, I’ve done something bad, the orange-skinned demon explained and, for the first time ever, his eyes seemed to light up with excitement. Something very, very bad.

  “Go on … ” Ira nearly moaned as she bit her lip.

  I may or may not have spread a rumor about you, one that could be detrimental to all the other Demon Kings in Hell.

  “I’m listening,” I prompted him to continue.

  I already liked where this was going, and I didn’t even know a single detail yet.

  While you were away, I sent my spies around to all of the different Circles, telling any and all succubi they could find about how you turned your women into Demon Lords, he explained. If my sources are to be believed, the succubi were very intrigued by the prospect.

  “You sly dog, you!” Todd exclaimed and slapped his hands together. “You really outdid yourself this time, Great Pumpkin. Now that all the babes of Hell know Jakey’s love shack is the place to be, we can juice him up like, ten times as much as he is now!”